Say you started dating/seeing someone new.
And, assume you were very interested in her.

Now, what's worse?

Would it be worse if this girl only had maybe 2 ex-bfs but she would frequently bring either of them up or experiences she had with/about them?

OR

Would it be worse if this girl had multiple exs and flings (nothing too crazy, maybe 7-10) but NEVER brought them up?

 

First one is worse.

But, what is considered multiple? 5, 10, 50?

 

Who cares what they did in thier past. She is with you now. Keep worrying about that crap..it will surely drive you nuts. I would tell her to not bring up the past but to concentrate on the future.

 

I agree.

The first is definitely worse.

 

I guess it's relative, but let's just say, for the sake of argument and simplification, that the number is 5x worse than the girl in the first scenario.

 

wisdom is strong with this age.

 

Yeah the last thing you really want is listening to some chick talk about her past. I mean it's bad enough in some cases that she even speaks in general.

 

I guess it would depend on how "ex" that they are? If it was a long time ago, then who cares.

 

Depends on if you're a jealous person or not.

A healthy relationship shouldn't include past relationships.

 

i dont really care too much about her past boyfriends. As long as she hasnt screwed half the town, who cares? If she doesnt care about my ex's, i could care less about hers.

 

Always thought you were a chick.

 

ouch

 

Maybe he/she is

 

Someone's past is not something you should concern yourself with too heavily. Focus on what you have in front of you. Otherwise, you may miss out on a good thing if you're stuck on each other's past experiences.

Someday, Grasshopper, you will gain the wisdom of the :killer: and you will then see the way.

 

I'm a fan of not keeping secrets. But knowing that she was, for example, into anonymous sex with strangers for a few months will drive you crazy.

 

I don't really care. I have learned that opening the box labeled...."All your past experiences," can always lead to issues. If it comes up, I deal with it. To be honest, I don't care about her past. And thankfully she feels the same about mine.

 

seriously I don't which one is worse, they're equally bad.

But I guess keeping in mind that NOW is what counts is the best approach.

 

unless you're 16, your past doesn't matter.

but if she's still talking about it... that's creepy.

 

WOW, that cuts deep man, real real deep. . If you've looked at my pics in 1st gen, i would hope you would retract.

 

I agree. I had one whose past definitely repeated itse;f. Knowing about prior relationships gives you a window into how yours will be, and sure enough the same crap happened. I did become obsessed with her past because I kept catching her in white lie after white lie, and things started to unravel. Sucks, because it was the best sex I ever had, including the wife....*sigh*

 

Here's how I look at it:

As long as she wasn't a stripper, a porn star, or into random sex with strangers I don't give a fuck. I won't ask about any of that though. If she wants to volunteer the fact that she humped half the town, fine, in that circumstance, I'm glad to know because I'm outta there. I don't ever want to know jack shit about previous boyfriends though, where they are, who they are, what they did, how they feel about them, nothing. If a girl tries to bring it up I will at first nod and try to change the subject but be polite, if they keep it up I'll make a simple declarative statement without anger, that frankly, I don't want to hear about it, that it doesn't matter to what is going on in your present relationship and you shouldn't focus on the past.

 

There's a difference between "keeping secrets" and unecessary information. The details of past relationships isn't a secret, you both dated and fucked other people, what is there to know? It isn't as if you are keeping the secret that you are a serial killer or have AIDS. That's shit you should let a S.O. know. It's just unecessary extra burden on your current relationship to hear about problems with other people's past relationships; it isn't "keeping secrets" it's keeping the bullshit out.

 

the past sucks, and so do people that talk about it. live for today and talk about tomorrow