So here is the situation. Me and my girl have been dating for over 4 years now. I am working and I make a good chunk of change and she is still in school for another 3.5 years, shes gonna be a pharmacist. She works part time and makes like 100 bucks every two weeks. Now she has a credit card balance of like say 600 or so. So each month she tries to pay the minimum credit card balance, buy food, and pay for gas, just off like 200 bucks a month. So she is pretty broke. So what happens, her car screwed up and now its 600 for repair and she needs her car so that is going on the credit card bill. So now the minimum payment is gonna go up and she doesn't know what else she can cut back on to try to pay for that, gas for car, and food to eat. So here I am, and I was thinking of paying off her credit card balance for her for Xmas, or at least paying for her car payment. So like paying somewhere from 600 - 1200 dollars towards her credit card. Now I have the money, granted i would have to cut back on some stuff for like a month or two, but i could do it....but i would have to sacrifice that new big screen DLP TV that i wanted. What would you guys do in my situation? She is always upset about money and stuff and how she eats like peanut butter sandwiches and just like bread and pasta for like every meal b/c she has no money. So any advice or ideas? Just wondering what you guys think, or would do in my situation.

 

1) she needs to stop using her credit card, it could get her into real trouble.
2) i think that it would be awesome if you paid her balance off, under the condition that she doesnt use it anymore.

If she is in school she should be able to get student loans that can cover some of her living expenses.

 

is she hot?

 

tell her it's a loan and put it down in writing. so if you break up, you can recoup the money from judge judy

 

thats not a bad idea....

 

HAHA... Ya she is. I know i was thinking of saying it was a loan but..i'm not sure. She is a trustworthy girl and i mean we have been together for a while and she definitily is a prospective wife. OMG did I just say that!! But i'm not really thinking marriage now but for later. So she will be making a TON of money when she is a pharmacist so its not like its a bad investment. She has tons of loans now for tuition so. She could take a loan out for this stuff and all but. I'm not sure i'm still deciding.

 

Have you considered banging her sister? Wait - has this been moved to D&R yet?

 

If you love her, and want to make this a gift, make it a gift with no strings attached. That means if the relationship tanks, you don't get the money back.

If you think this relationship does not have a future, but you want to help, then I'd suggest a loan, with the limits of the loan clearly spelled out in terms of the return time, etc.

And, as an aside, if you've been seeing her for four years in an exclusive relationship, what, exactly, are you waiting for?

 

I suppose you could put a few hundreds bucks toward her credit card balance for Christmas, if not the entire balance. Maybe pay the 600 bucks or whatever in repair costs, so she can at least return to status quo?

And I agree with virus7. She should stop using her credit card. Tell her to get a debit card, so she can only spend what she has. CC can get you in a world of trouble if you don't use it right.

 

 

One thing, paying off a balance as a gift may not go over well with her; i've tried this but then again, my wife is a brat




Second thing, if you see you spending the rest of your life w/ her; help her out




third, be prepared for many headaches in the future

 

sounds like you're speaking from experience. care to elaborate?

 

to you? no I think most can decipher what I said




basically, if I didn't have a wife, i would of been out of my first gen CL 4 years ago

 

and


relationships are about communication, ask her what she would like.

 

And ric, maybe the timing isn't right yet.

 

Banging her for 4yrs now? $600-$1200? thats nothing just pay that shit off for her and save her the headaches and fin-charges from CC companies.

 

Thanks for all the good advice guys. As for what am I waiting for. We are both 22, and I just graduated college and she still has 3.5 years in pharmacy school. So I am not making enough money to support two people yet and there is no need to be married while still in school, at least i don't think so. And she doesn't want to be getting married while still in school also

 

4 years and you wont pay $600!! Are you serious? Dude if you care more about plasma screens than her she can't be the one you are going to marry.

 

big

 

very true. on another side, he isn't required to get her out of debt every time she gets in trouble. it does show that he does care since he is concerned and trying to take the best approach in this situation.

that would be a very generous gift to give to her. I am sure that she would greatly appreciate it since her funds are so low.

on a side note, you said that she works part time and is only making about $100 every two weeks. That is not much at all considering her situation she is in. Perhaps you can help her find a different part time job. If she worked two days a week she would definitely make more than that, even if she just worked a weekend morning shift and one night during the week. I am sure her school schedule is quite busy so she can't work every day, so maybe this is a good route to check out. just a suggestion...

 

pay the cc off, and cut her card up.

 

Well first of all, what good is $600 gonna do with regards to a plasma tv?

Also, it seems to me if you give that to her, it's just gonna be a temporary fix anyway and you'll be dealing with these problems the next 3.5 years. Plus I wouldn't consider it an "investment" in the hopes she'll make it big one day. A lot can change in 3.5 years, making it not too smart to "invest" in girls.

Suggest she work more hours or get a better job. I had a pretty shitty job in a dining hall during school and I still made almost 2x that.

 

If you're in a four year relationship with her and you actually have to think about helping her out in that way because you care, then don't do it. Might be different for everyone, but I think you'd care about her a great deal if you've been with her for four years....don't see how it'd be a question - if you're not struggling for money yourself. How much do you care about her and helping her get by during a hard time? And no, I'm not saying you should be solely responsible for her financial situation....but it doesn't sound like she's been unreasonable with her money --- she's just in a tough spot at the moment. Also, you could consider helping her pay off some of the money she owes and not all, if you find the full amount to be unreasonable as a 'gift'

 

An old guys perspective
You obviously love the girl. She is trying her best. She is going to be a pharmacist so she has a future
1. Ask her if you can help her pay off her credit card (or whatever amount you want to pay)for Christmas. Make sure she isn't offended by the gesture
2. Help her understand the danger of credit cards (assuming she doesn't already know)
3. Help her apply for a student loan. They are not a bad thing and much better than credit card debt.
4.When the time is right, propose

 

I would do it and take her card away, but also let her know not to get used to the idea. If you do it once they then become used to it and take advantage.

 

I'm sure she's a great girl, but remember no girl is trustworthy. Chances you'll marry her are slim to none. As all the other heartbroken idiots on this board.

The 600 bucks is not a big deal. It's just the cost of pussy. Do the math.
If she's hot and you have a regular arrangement, she can probably charge about 200 bucks an hour. Figure you screw her at least 2 times a week over 4 years. Math says you owe her min 83,200. 600 bucks, eh just give it to her.

 

Just wondering: are you this much of a loser seven days a week, or only on Thursdays? It's no wonder you've had such bad luck with women (based on your post above).

 

Die in a fire.

 

Have she move in if the two of you are not living together already? If you want to help, why not buy the food, fill her gas tank (especially w/ gas cost now), small gesture means a lot to girls/women.

And secondly, ask to see if she like your help on getting the car fix? Maybe loan your car to her.
I would stay off the money deal. Money make people do strange things.

 

Thanks for all the advice guys. Turns out her brother beat me to it and paid for her car repair (650). So that was really nice of him. But i did sit down with her and have a financial talk and it was good. The rest of her credit card is mostly debt left over from when she went abroad, and some household items like a bed and shit. So I offered to help out by paying it off. She thought it was very nice of me to offer but she said she can't take it. She thinks its to much money for a gift and she needs to pay off her card. So I told her to think about it and the offer is always there.

 

First off, I like your girl. A girl that has a sense of independence will be with you for the right reasons!! Like love, and not survival. Secondly, she needs a better job. I know it's hard with school and all, but it can be done. I put myself through nursing school being a single parent of 3, so it can be done. Thirdly, I think the idea of your helping her with small stuff will mean more to her. Like filling her gas once a week. Or a refillable grocery gift card. Little things like that are wonderful. I am always surprised and grateful when I get that kind of help. Good luck to ya.