Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about it…

What to do?

Thread Tools
 
Old Apr 3, 2010 | 08:09 PM
  #1  
nokiaman's Avatar
Thread Starter
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,271
Likes: 236
From: Maryland
What to do?

I don't post here often but this time I'm at a loss for words.

I have two very good close friends to me that I met a few years ago. When I met them, they had been best friends for at least 6 or 7 years. We shared the same passion for cars, women and just about everything else young adults liked at that time. We were really the three musketeers as people often called us.

Fast forward to today, Friend A and Friend B who were best friends before cannot really stand each other anymore. For some reason (One claims the other is too stuck up for his taste and the other claims one is too much party-boy). It was very gradual and slow and I could see it coming.

So as you've guessed it, I am stuck in the middle. It'll be nights were both want to hang out and it'll be an awkward decision for me. I shouldn't have to choose?!

I feel like I should ditch before as these are childish games and unnecessary drama in my opinion; just as an example tonight both one after the other called me asking me what I was doing whilst complaining about each other. I know these things happen to other people as well so what am I suppose to do or say? Reconcile them or what?

Cheers.
Reply
Old Apr 3, 2010 | 08:25 PM
  #2  
tinad2004's Avatar
wishing for a GT-R
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 276
Likes: 1
From: north NJ
i think you should first talk to each one of them about the other... not in judging and taking sides type of a way but just have them open up about how they both feel, then try to get them together to try to fix and sort it out... if they aren't able to you need to let them know that them not being able to communicate anymore puts you in a bad position where you have to choose and have them put themselves in your shoes, and see how unfair they are both being ...
Reply
Old Apr 3, 2010 | 08:26 PM
  #3  
Whiskers's Avatar
Go Giants
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
 
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 70,003
Likes: 1,260
From: PA
If you are not a homo, get a girlfriend...
Reply
Old Apr 3, 2010 | 08:53 PM
  #4  
sasha's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 6,251
Likes: 71
From: D.istrict of C.orruption
There's really nothing you can do to make them like one another again. I also don't think you should choose between the two of them. Maybe you should just hang out with Friend A one night, and then go out with the Friend B next time?
Reply
Old Apr 4, 2010 | 01:20 AM
  #5  
nokiaman's Avatar
Thread Starter
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,271
Likes: 236
From: Maryland
Originally Posted by tinad2004
i think you should first talk to each one of them about the other... not in judging and taking sides type of a way but just have them open up about how they both feel, then try to get them together to try to fix and sort it out... if they aren't able to you need to let them know that them not being able to communicate anymore puts you in a bad position where you have to choose and have them put themselves in your shoes, and see how unfair they are both being ...
Thanks for the advice Tina, I have done that tonight and I'll give it a bit of time. Maybe next week I'll be able to sit them both down and make them realize how silly they're acting.

Originally Posted by Whiskers
If you are not a homo, get a girlfriend...
I have a wife Warren, so no worries there.:wink:

Originally Posted by sasha
There's really nothing you can do to make them like one another again. I also don't think you should choose between the two of them. Maybe you should just hang out with Friend A one night, and then go out with the Friend B next time?
Thanks Sasha, that's the same conclusion I have come to.

All of this might seem a bit silly of a situation to even create a thread about it but I guess I was pretty amazed in the moment how two married fully grown men can behave like 15 year old teenagers.
Reply
Old Apr 4, 2010 | 01:39 AM
  #6  
CUNextTuesday's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,217
Likes: 150
From: off the grid
Far too much estrogen in this bromance.
Reply
Old Apr 4, 2010 | 02:29 AM
  #7  
CL-Slick's Avatar
Chillin' in my trailer
15 Year Member
iTrader: (7)
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,343
Likes: 4
From: Mobile, Alabama
I have been in the same situation before and I just gradually removed myself from both parties and found new friends. Yes, it sucks, but there will be no drama later on.
Reply
Old Apr 4, 2010 | 03:13 AM
  #8  
Costco's Avatar
Moderator
15 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 29,869
Likes: 3,489
Sorry to hear Mark. I hate being in that position. Or when you're friends with a couple for a long time and then they break up. I'd try to just stay away from the drama.

It's weird when things like this happen. I don't know if you should distance yourself from each other, but instead maybe remind the two of the great times you guys had together, and hopefully they'll come to the realization that its not worth it, and have a few drinks and forget the differences they now hold.
Reply
Old Apr 4, 2010 | 09:13 PM
  #9  
1Louder's Avatar
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,973
Likes: 7,362
From: Seattle, WA
My advice would be to tell both friends somehting like - hey, sorry you don't like Friend A/B any more, but Friend A/B and I are still friends. I'd rather we all be able to hang out, but if we can't then it will just have to be seperately.

If one or the other can't handle that, then you know who to hang out with.

I always preferred the company of my wife anyway. Lady parts > dudes. Good luck!

Last edited by 1Louder; Apr 4, 2010 at 09:15 PM.
Reply
Old Apr 5, 2010 | 03:33 AM
  #10  
is300eater's Avatar
I Shoot with a Camera
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 23,069
Likes: 3,663
From: Vancouver BC
I've been in that situation before, and basically just handled it like what "1Louder" suggested
Reply
Old Apr 5, 2010 | 11:20 AM
  #11  
Majofo's Avatar
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 88,888
Likes: 11,846
From: Waffles, BU
What both of them should do is kick the shit out of each other, then drink some beer and stop wearing panties. I'm guessing they must have gotten drunk one night and made out. If they're your true friends they'll continue to be your friends even if you hang out with one on Friday night and the other on Saturday. It's not worth reconciling if both guys hate each other.
Reply
Old Apr 9, 2010 | 01:44 PM
  #12  
97BlackAckCL's Avatar
Senior Moderator
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
iTrader: (6)
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 92,743
Likes: 4,677
From: ShitsBurgh
Reply
Old Apr 9, 2010 | 01:54 PM
  #13  
Dr. Colorado's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,771
Likes: 113
From: The 808
Originally Posted by Majofo
What both of them should do is kick the shit out of each other, then drink some beer and stop wearing panties. I'm guessing they must have gotten drunk one night and made out. If they're your true friends they'll continue to be your friends even if you hang out with one on Friday night and the other on Saturday. It's not worth reconciling if both guys hate each other.


Damn Mark that's some ghey shit you have to put up with from your boys. They are being selfish and acting like little byooitches making you pick sides and all. I say have them glove up, get in the ring, and settle it like men. Winner takes all and gets your undying friendship and loyalty.

J/K

OTW, stay with the party guy. He'll be more fun on the weekends
Reply
Old Apr 10, 2010 | 03:16 PM
  #14  
1killercls's Avatar
GEEZER
 
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,444
Likes: 2,227
From: Dunedin, Fla.
you are gay!
Reply
Old Apr 11, 2010 | 12:15 AM
  #15  
nokiaman's Avatar
Thread Starter
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,271
Likes: 236
From: Maryland
Honestly, was that necessary?

Anyways if anyone cares, we all met up tonight to talk about it all. They both agreed to disagree and part ways.
Reply
Old Apr 11, 2010 | 01:11 AM
  #16  
is300eater's Avatar
I Shoot with a Camera
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 23,069
Likes: 3,663
From: Vancouver BC
oh that sucks... it doesn't make it any easier for you, huh? still kinda weird because you're still the mutual one
Reply
Old Apr 11, 2010 | 07:10 AM
  #17  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,133
Likes: 623
From: Landisville, PA
Tell your friends to grow the fuck up.
Reply
Old Apr 11, 2010 | 08:05 AM
  #18  
1killercls's Avatar
GEEZER
 
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,444
Likes: 2,227
From: Dunedin, Fla.
Originally Posted by nokiaman
Honestly, was that necessary?

.
Comic value only..lighten up.
Reply
Old Apr 14, 2010 | 06:10 AM
  #19  
coffeefingers's Avatar
Racer
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 361
Likes: 3
1) Get new "mature" / drama free friends.

2) Spend more time modding your car.
Reply
Old Apr 14, 2010 | 02:54 PM
  #20  
indoMFP's Avatar
What your problem is?
 
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,811
Likes: 5
From: Houston, TX
Originally Posted by nokiaman
Honestly, was that necessary?

Anyways if anyone cares, we all met up tonight to talk about it all. They both agreed to disagree and part ways.
That sucks... but I hope you still are friends with both...
I am guessing the bonds that made you guys so close (initially) starting falling apart... Being young, you guys did the same things and had the same interests, but as you get older, some of you guys did not care that much for the cars, some of your guys discovered that pussy is a better feeling than leather wrapped shifter, etc.

Hope everything works out for you...
Reply
Old Apr 19, 2010 | 10:51 AM
  #21  
evilone's Avatar
COME AT ME BRO!
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 9,796
Likes: 13
From: st.johns, NL (CANUKISTAN)
My advice is to just be straight up with them. Just say something to this effect. " Look I know you're not friends with _____, but I still am. I understand you guys don't get along anymore. However I still remain good friend with both you guys. It's not cool with me for either one of you guys to bash the other one in front of me, seeing as how I'm still friends with the both of you. Please respect that and don't do it in front of me."


Something like that. Good luck mang !
Reply
Old Apr 19, 2010 | 07:09 PM
  #22  
S14 n Tsx's Avatar
mmmmmm....
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 20,524
Likes: 95
From: Glendale, CA
just let them deal with it...
Reply
Old Apr 19, 2010 | 08:03 PM
  #23  
CLtotheTL32's Avatar
Moderator
15 Year Member
Shutterbug
Loved
Community Favorite
iTrader: (3)
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 36,787
Likes: 9,616
From: Charlotte
Mark try not to take sides here. Hang out with friend 1 sometime and then hang out with friend 2 another time and don't bring each other up. Don't try to make one believe that you are on their side of the story when in reality you are stuck in the middle.
Reply
Old Apr 19, 2010 | 09:01 PM
  #24  
03bl AC k CL's Avatar
Oh Hullow
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,990
Likes: 14
From: Freehold, NJ
what night does your wife get to hang out with you? lol.

you have no obligation to be peacemaker and they have no right to use you to vent about their problems they are both men they should solve their issues directly with each other
Reply




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:20 PM.