ok so here goes............

I might have gotton a girl pregnent...(about 90% chance really)
and I have no intenens of being with her. How do I go about my new relationships???? Do I waait to tell them after a couple dates or what???
I am lost for once, what have you guys done? and what do the ladies think?

 

How about being responsible for a change.

 

I offered aboration but she wants to keep it, now it's to late. As for responsibility I have no problem raising a child. I am tlaking about how do I deal with this when I am looking for someone to be with. YOu know a girlfriend, fiance, wife. I just see through poeple verywell and I relized that before she told me she was pregnant. A couple of weeks of drunken sex is what led to this.

 

Be a man to be responsible with your mess.

 

I think what he's saying is, he will be in the child's life, offer monetary support, but he does not want to be with the woman who is having his child. So he wants to know, when does he bring it up with future women, that he has a kid.

 

So why don't you want to stay with the one you got pregnant? Don't just leave for selfish reasons. If there is any chance you can be happy with this girl you should stay. That kid needs a full-time daddy.

Anyway, it's going to be hard to tell new women that you have a kid and not lie about the situation. Once you tell her you have a kid she is going to want to know what happened. If you tell her that you got the other one pregnant and then decided you didn't want to be with her, she will drop you before the date is even over.

If you lie to her, then you have a new relationship built on a lie.

 

Just make sure that you get a blood test, no matter what.

 

No matter what, man up to what has happened, don't run away from your problems.

Are you absolutely sure that you do not want to be with this woman long term? If this is your final decision, make sure you let her know of your feelings. Let her know that you don't want to be with her romantically long term, but you will be in the child's life. If she is looking for a husband or a long term committment, she may change her mind...

Just a thought...

 

At 25, you should be old enough to work through these issues. Although your spelling and grammer skills concern me.

 

so where does the 90% come in? Is there a possibility that it belongs to another guy? I'd get that straightened out first, before worrying about anything else.

 

it's grammar BTW...

 

90% of the spelling and grammar is fine.

 

 

Get a blood test first!!!! Then tell new hoes that you have a kid, it didn't work out with the momma, you are a responsible father, end of story.

 

Don't hide it. The fact is not going to go away so it's best to be upfront about it. If the girl doesn't mind, it wouldn't matter if you tell her on the 1st few dates or later in the relationship. But of course, if you wait too long, she might get upset for you hiding a non-trivial part of your life.

 

Werd. Treat others how you would like to be treated. If i dated a girl who had a child, i would like her to be upfront as soon as she could about it.


Flipside, If i had a child and the girl couldnt handle that then she not worth to be with.

 

 

OK, I'm not going to take a popular opinion here.

Do you know what the Hail Mary is? Well, it's courtesy of Tom Leykis. Basically, you use it to manipulate this girl into getting an abortion, thus freeing you from the burden of raising a child. OK, so this is how it works: You take her out to a VERY expensive restaurant, maybe buy her something to wear, you have a couple glasses of wine, and then take her out somewhere exciting, and fun (optional) like some nice club. You show her an awesome time. You charm her, and push all her feel-good buttons. After the night's over, you tell her "Look sweety, I've had this on my mind ever since you told me you were pregnant, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, do things with you like we did tonight, and I want to have children with you, but right now isn't a good time, it would be unfair for the child, and for you. If you abort it, we can save money, move in together, and prepare for the future." Or something like that, you get the gist of what I'm saying though.

Now, she might fall for it. So, you setup an appointment to have an abortion. And if/when she follows through with it, you DUMP HER as quickly as possible (after taking her to McDonalds for a suasage and egg McMuffin).

 

Hell is too good for you.....

 

Hey it's an option

 

Ouch. Dude, that's low...and darn unfair to the girl.

 

What if she purposely tried to get pregnant by manipulating him into getting drunk and banging her raw? Would it be unfair then?

 

Eh. Maybe. But, I still wouldn't stoop low to fight a low.

That's just my opinion...

 

That's how my wife got me...

 

 

You're kidding... right?

And Scott wonders why I hate Tom Leykis.

 

You owe yourself, the woman in question and the soon-to-be kid the legitimacy of testing to confirm or deny your paternity, which may require a DNA test. If the kid is not yours, you're off the hook. If the kid is, you need to make legal arrangements for child support and visitation, and confirm that certain key decisions will be made concensually.

And how and when do you tell the next woman in your life? I would suggest NOT in the middle of several weeks of drunken bacchanalian sex...... but when you think you are getting serious with a woman, tell her you have an obligation that will last for some decades to a child from a previous liason. A gentlemen needs to disclose the basic information, but a gentleman does not need, in any particular degree, to get into the sordid particulars. If a woman you are getting serious about is comfortable with the concept of you being a single Saturday Dad, then you know something about that woman. BUt - from now on out, the kid comes first, assuming he/she is yours. Start thinking about financial committment, long-term costs, etc.

And next time, geez, wear a raincoat.

 

Seriously did you wear a rubber?

Also on the topic of tricking a woman into getting an abortion. Awsome.

I hate the fact that it's totally up to the woman to get an abortion or not.

A reasonable system would be: guy requests abortion in court, noted, girl refuses and has baby, guy is not responsible for paying for the child.

 

you "did the right thing"

 

I love Tom, he's like the father I never had.

 

It would never happen, though, because men are human wallets in court. It would negate our whole legal purpose.

 

just try to remember that Leykis is a male advocate... that is why women hate what he says.

I think I follow about 80% of his advice.

 

That man is a genius

 

Just be honest. I'm not saying that you should talk about this as soon as you meet a girl, but as soon as it starts getting serious.

 

That's not reasonable at all.

 

but it's "grammar".

 

Thanks, it was pointed out to me already.....

 

it's ok. don't worry, i still think you're cool.

 

amen to that .. can you imagine an actual fair legal system?

 

What the hell is 90% chance? It's 100% or 0%. If she's pregnant, ask for a dna test. Deny it until proven guilty.