So I just got off the phone with the now ex-girlfriend (she lives on the west coast). We had been together for just over 2 1/2 years and I felt I had just grown to dependent on her. She is very caring and would look after me to the point of making sure I made it to my morning classes, did work, had something to eat etc. A real good girl.

However, as of late I have been struggling with depression some and subsequently school. As a result of my poor grades I am transferring schools to pursue my one true passion - music. I will still be in the same area/city as her though. I just felt like I needed to be more independent and handle my own business.

I had tried breaking up with her earlier during this past semester but wasn't strong enough and it only lasted a week. There is really no such thing as good timing when you are hurting a real good girl, like she really is great.

This is where things get complicated . . . . .

So ever since high school I have had a crush on this girl. I kinda knew her through some sports but not much beyond that. I saw her last summer at some parties and we went to the same gym too. Randomly we start talking online. This begins to pick up and we start flirting yada ya. Turns out she felt the same way about me. I am skeptical, for real how often does this happen. She was "the high school crush" for me and shes saying she felt the same way. Seemed to good to be true. Anyway she came back in town from her school (30 min drive) with a friend to celebrate my birthday, I got absolutely wasted and we ended up doing some shit - no sex of any kind.

Still though this was the first time I had chilled with her since I can remember. Then about a week after I go visit her at school planning just to chill have some good sober time, we end up going out getting drunk - not like my b-day. Bottom line we had drunken sex, and it was not good.

I was still in shock, this is my crush!It all was moving was too fast for me. She began confessing how much she liked me now and how she doesn't want to get with other guys. She kinda freaked me out with all that. Jesus where am I going with all this.

I am not sure if I want to commit to this crush as a summer fling, or try to get back with the ex. who is coming back in two weeks.

Sorry for rambling without making mush sense, I tried. Please ask questions if you want to know more info as I am sure I left out a lot. It is fucking 5 am and I am passing out now. Thanks

 

Wow, you are all over the place...I guess first thing you need to figure out is whether you want to be in a relationship or not...More importantly, you need to focus on school. I suppose you broke up with your girl for some reason, so that should tell you something. As far as the high school girl crush thing, drunken 1st time sex is never good (that's what happened in college with my now wife). How is her personality?

Cliffs:
-Focus on school
-Figure out if you even want to be in a relationship
-Figure out why you broke up with ex-gf
-Figure out whether the High School crush was just a physical one

 

Why be with either of them? --- You just wrote about wanting to be more independent. I would take a break from everyone for a while til you can get yourself, and your health back together.....Focus on your music.

 

Is your name michael scott and do you work for Dunder Miflin???

 

I think you should just follow your instincts or what my wife often say "follow your heart."

 

Take one thing at a time...

suggestion would be school/education > women

 

focus on school, but keep them around until you know what you want or which one you want. it doesn't sound like your ex did anything wrong...did she?

 

Her personality is really cool. I connect with her in a unique way, we have some of the same interests but are way different. We are getting to know each other more everyday. We both feel that sex early on was huge mistake and so now are just making an effort to spend much more sober time together.

It's not a choice between 2 relationships. My ex still expressed interest in me when I talked to her last night - that made me feel like I needed to make a choice between the two but really I think it is to either be single or reunite with the ex.

The girl I have been talking to recently is cool but I am def not in a rush to get into things, even though my actions do not say so. I let her know this but she still has grown to "really like" me in a short amount of time (2 weeks)

 

She hasn't been anything but great to me. I hate being a heart breaker, she doesn't deserve it. I just need to grow some balls and decide if I still want to be with her, for her sake especially. However, that is easier said than done.

 

Fuck the new girl one last time before you make your decision. But as Whiskers said you are all over the place. You said you want to be independent, no relationship and now you are talking about getting back with your ex. What the hell do you want?

IMO, if you stick with fucking the new girl, you are basically telling your ex to 'go screw', and you should have little hope of her coming back to you down the road.

 

Why did you break up with her in the 1st place (because you were depressed?)?

It seems you just don't love your ex the same way she loves you. If that's the case, don't get back to her out of pity. Even if she is the most caring woman you have ever met, but if you don't love her as much, it's not going to work. Be strong, be kind, and move on.

 

I agree completely. If you don't want to be with her - the clean break is the kindest thing. False hope will only string her along, which would be cruel despite your good intentions.

 

at the women...He is in college, he is not ready for a comitment....dude, have fun and worry about love later in life...

 

If I'm not mistaken, every woman who posted in this thread said move on... No?

 

Possibly, but the feeling is that he should move on because he doesn't love her....He is young and maybe isn't ready for a relationship at this time....But its not a hard line of whether he should move on or not, he should figure things out.

 

Advice from an old man-Drop both of them for a month, no contact (neither phone nor in person) go back to self gratification. Over the next month you will find yourself missing/thinking about one of them more then the other.

You then take the girl that has been on your mind and lock her image, name and even her smell into that special place in your heart and in your brain, then go knock the bottom out of the "other" girl for a week before you ask the "one" to accept you back....


Good Luck,

Uncle Boogie

 

I wanted to be on my own for a while and get my life together before worrying about a relationship. Its tough because I can't turn off the feelings I have for her. I am trying to be strong about it but I hate know that I am hurting her. You all are right though, leading her on will end up in much more pain for her.

The other girl i am talking to feels like a distraction more than anything. She is cool but there is no way I can manage all of that - as you can tell in my original post.

 

how good was the drunken sex?

 

Sounds like the depression was because you weren't happy with the old girl. If not, maybe the new girl will help you forget about the depression for a while. If that's the case, I'd stay stick with the new girl.

 

It sounds like you're moving on. It's a good choice and you ought to stick with it
Being in college doesn't mean you're yet matured. It just seems like you aren't ready for a real relationship because you don't love her that much in the first place.

Good luck

 

It was bad, not because of her. I was not comfortable and I was too drunk.

 

Option C. Find someone new and move on.

 

Funny you say that, had a real good time with this girl last night. I know her from hs but haven't chilled with her for a while. Anyway she was telling me that she would have talked to me earlier but thought I was too mature/older.

Things are looking on the up and up. However, I am not looking forward to the ex coming to town. I don't trust myself with her.

 

holy shit man. . . . . . . the drama. my ex just found this thread.

 

well good luck with the karmic backlash.

 

Tell her to post nudes...

 

Dear JT's girlfriend,

Please help us prove to JT what a fool he is for losing you by posting jaw-dropping pictures of your beautiful self.

Best wishes,

Synthetic on behalf of the proud AZ community

 

rough

 

And you think that by posting in this thread about it (which she is reading) is going to make it better. by

 

Uh-oh... How did your ex find out? And how did she react?

 

She PM'd me for a date....

 

I dont see JT posting much more about his personal life for awhile

 

how does she even know to look here? Hopefully she'll register and show us what JT is missing out on!

 

I do believe he dropped the ball on this one....unless she is fugly

 

I tipped her off

 

She checked it again today, but everything is fine between us.

 

nudes please