two years gone?
Earth-bound misfit
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 31,704
Likes: 608
You should be encouraging her to go to London. It would be an excellent life experience for her. Besides, do you really want someone to be with you only because you've clipped their wings? If she matures and develops her independence (including the trip to London), and still chooses a relationship with you, then you know you have something real. If she feels compelled to stay in the relationship because she's worried that her leaving will cause you to have a meltdown, on the other hand, then you don't truly have her in the first place.
an asshole from florida
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,405
Likes: 17
From: GO GATORS!
sounds like the 2 years is gone... But like everyone said it's a learning experience.
I personally wouldn't try to stop her from going to london. Yeah you made plans, but things change especially when you're young. It would be selfish of you if you stopped her (also pretty controlling).
I personally wouldn't try to stop her from going to london. Yeah you made plans, but things change especially when you're young. It would be selfish of you if you stopped her (also pretty controlling).
Instructor
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 228
Likes: 1
From: Lafayette, IN
I had a similar situation. She was distancing herself away from me while getting closer with a guy that she now dates and has been with for a couple years. I had suspicion and she always denied it...always follow your instinct.
Race Director
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,434
Likes: 0
From: NY
You should be encouraging her to go to London. It would be an excellent life experience for her. Besides, do you really want someone to be with you only because you've clipped their wings? If she matures and develops her independence (including the trip to London), and still chooses a relationship with you, then you know you have something real. If she feels compelled to stay in the relationship because she's worried that her leaving will cause you to have a meltdown, on the other hand, then you don't truly have her in the first place.
You both are young. Not saying that you can't be right for each other, but you both need to experience life. Even if you stay together you both need time apart. 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months in London. If she is the right girl, then be supportive and trust that things will work out.
If you keep getting into arguments then she will resent you for smothering her and it will end your relationship. You have to realize that even if there are things that you have planned for the times you get to spend with her, it does not mean that she doesn't have other things going on, and it sucks, but you have to be OK with that every now and then.
Good luck.
If you keep getting into arguments then she will resent you for smothering her and it will end your relationship. You have to realize that even if there are things that you have planned for the times you get to spend with her, it does not mean that she doesn't have other things going on, and it sucks, but you have to be OK with that every now and then.
Good luck.
man no wonder shes avoiding you. your a bitch. man up and grow some balls....
don't you understand? the more you WANT to see her, the more you WANT to work things out, the more you TRY to fix things, the FURTHER you will PUSH HER AWAY.
You want her to think and value your relationship? ONLY WITH SPACE and NO CONTACT will she truly value the relationship she had with you..
I've been through exactly what your going through. Except, after I got shafted a few times, I said fuck it. A week later, girl's come back crawling. If she doesn't, then you just did yourself a favor.
don't you understand? the more you WANT to see her, the more you WANT to work things out, the more you TRY to fix things, the FURTHER you will PUSH HER AWAY.
You want her to think and value your relationship? ONLY WITH SPACE and NO CONTACT will she truly value the relationship she had with you..
I've been through exactly what your going through. Except, after I got shafted a few times, I said fuck it. A week later, girl's come back crawling. If she doesn't, then you just did yourself a favor.
Also, set your priorities straight, such as school first.. THEN her...
....out growing each other is what you do when you start in a relationship fairly young and your paths start to separate slowly... kinda like fighting gravity... it always wins.... until your life starts to "settle" some as you get older, you will find that this will happen over and over again... either you or her will start to change and that's it... back to square uno again.... hope you feel better, do better, and enjoy every moment of being young and failry "free"... and as I tell my son, "if she does not have absolutely everything you want and need in one package, wait for the next one or prepare to settle"... all of this is IMOVHO
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