so bear with me..this started about a month ago.

so about a month ago me and the gf had a date night. we went out to Cheesecake Factory and i bought dinner, drinks, and dessert. the plan was to eat and go back and have a nice cozy, relaxing evening.

her and her girlfriends had plans to go out the next day( a sunday, a day that i dont even see her) to Bass Lake to picnic and tan, so i figured the night would be ours..nope, her friend texts her and wants to buy stuff at the store for their day trip. i said why not go in the morning? i thought we were gunna hang out? she told me that they were just gunna go to the store and we can hang out again. so she asked me to drop her off at her friends and i waited. took them an hour and a half and they both went back to her house to watch a movie. so im like wth, i thought we were gunna have the evening to ourselves? she said she wants friend time and her friend said im sorry for stealing your gf. i wasnt too happy. i blew 100 bucks and ended the evening my evening at 9pm.

so this past weekend was our second anniversary and we stayed the night on a beach front hotel at Pismo Beach. the past week, she had mentioned of going to school in london for two months with this same friend. i wasnt too happy and she said it wasnt sure.

so on the way home, she tells me that her gma gave her 8 grand to go and her friend is gunna get a student loan to go with her. i dont even get to her much anymore cuz i work nights. i only see her like 2 days a week and it kills me. so when she said two months, i kinda blew up and got upset. this woman is my best friend, my better half, everything i could want. i felt ditched again, for this same friend.

we both had plans to go to csu fresno but due to budget cuts, new applicants werent being taken. so she had plans to go to a city college as did i. so she wanted to go to fresno but they were full, so shes going to reedley. we wanted to take classes together and all that good stuff.

so this past monday, she mentioned that she had classes to pay for still, so i text her saying i want to go with you so i can register..no response. tuesday night she texts me saying that her friend, yes the same one, needed to take placement tests and she offered to take my gf. i was upset cuz i feel like ive been on the back burner layely. now she wont even talk to me cuz i was upset that i couldnt even spend time with her on a day we both have off. we cant even go do something together that will make our future together better.

so im sure i left a lot out

cliffs:

i work nights, dont see the gf much

spends a lot of time with friends and doesnt tell me whats going on

she decides to go to school in london for two months with her friend andi got upset

wanted to register for school with her..she wanted to go with her friend instead and didnt tell me

i got upset

she claims i dont let her have friend time when i do

big arguement..wont even talk..even after finally talking and saying i love you, she wont say it back

im hella upset

am i overeacting to everything? am i asking for too much. im afraid ive lost her

 

Let's put a little positive spin on this and throw bisexual into the ring.

If that's not it and the other girl is really just a friend then I think your relationship may be ending.

 

She wants space, and you should give it to her. Getting upset isn't going to help your case and might make you appear clingy.

My girl and I have been together for over 3.5 years. We're now engaged, but we still leave time to do things separately. Sometimes space is a good thing.

Go hang out with your guy friends, hit the bar and get some beers or whatever.

 

ew no..her friend had a bf and she is ugly wierd and all the above. this is the girl that has shaved her head numerous times and peirced her hood lol

 

Question, how old is your girlfriend? I only ask cause if you're only 21, I assume shes probably around the same age.

Spending time together is a good thing, but understand that if you're working alot, and you want to spend all of your (what little you have) free time with her, she is having to arrange her life around to fit your schedule. If you were both older, you both would want to - well... assuming you guys were in it for the long haul - make sacrifices to be with the other. But you guys are both young, immature and may be even selfish.

I'll be honest; most people around your age aren't looking for something serious. And her actions seem to indicate that she's starting to move on.

 

part i left out

she talked me into going to school with her so when i wanted to go with her to pay for her classes and she said that her friend is taking her, after i had already said id go with her.

so this morning, i got off work at 8am and woke up to a text saying that theyre not going and i won.

wtf? i won. i had told her that if they want to go then ill go on my day off since im flat broke.

i dunno..im stressing, im sure the last part didnt make since either.

so im not gunna call her or text her cuz ive already said everything i wanted to say. i apologized and everything, called myself an asshole. she doesnt want to talk..

so i guess we will see what the next few days bring

 

we both have known eachother since the 8th grade and have been going out for two years. it is serious, we both got out of bad relationships when we got together. i have a key to her and her moms house and im cool with her whole family..even her dads new gf lol

i dunno..my friends tell me i can do better( looks wise), but i love her and ive always been attracted to her. i dont want it to end over something like this

 

this sucks..im miserable

 

Best thing you can do is give her space. If you come off to "clingy" or overbearing it's just going to push her even further away from you.Act like it's not that big of a deal to you, like you have other shit you can do. I know it's hard, trust me I know exactly how you feel. I was with the same girl for 5 yrs, then when she got into college she came out with the whole "friend time" shit like yours is doing. Kind of lost my mind for a little while when she never wanted to hang out and shit. I acted the same way you are and ended up pushing her even further away. Your only 21.You have "ALOT" of living left to do. If she was meant to be the "one" then she'll straighten out and get over her shit. If not, then take it as a sign that something better is out there for you.

 

Dude what a bummer I'm sorry to hear.

I would pull her aside and give her your point of view. If she truly loves you, she will listen to you and try to work it out. By the sounds of things, she isn't trying to be a bitch and get rid of you, she's just enjoying quite a bit of time with her friends. It also sounds like her friends are influencing her actions.

Granted I wouldn't be too happy about that night ending early and her possibly going overseas as well, but she won't know your feelings on those subjects unless you tell her. I hate talking to my girlfriend about shit that might upset her at the time, but afterwards it's well worth it. Being open and honest about thoughts and feelings are really important to my girlfriend and I, no matter what those thoughts or feelings may be.

I would voice your feelings to her just to see what she says.

 

i told her everything and thats where we are now. i dunno. i told her how would you like it if you took me out to dinner and i booked it with some friends. or you wanted to hang out with me and i took off with friends and didnt tell you.
she said she wants space. i told her to tell me. i only see her 2-3 days a week. friday was our anniversary and we went out. i thought we couldve spent the whole weekend together but no. i didnt see her at all on saturday cuz her and her friend went to go see a movie. sunday and monday we were at the coast and i havent seen her at all since then.

shes off for two weeks til school starts and i feel like im on the backburner. all i asked for is an evening out and i cant even get that

i told her last night that we need another night to us...no phones, no friends, no interruptions. and today she says i wont let her see her friends..uhmm when did i stop her? i just told her how i felt about everything, now she doesnt even want to talk.

i dunno if this matters, but i noticed an old ex on her friends list on myspace. she dated him and his brother and i went to school with them. she knows i hate these douchebags with a passion and hes on there. i dont want to say anything due to whats going on, but i feel like i need to ask. i think i will. or should i wait til things calm down a little

 

Prob not the best of ideas. Just chill out, and give it a little time. Try not to make a big deal out of it as best you can. She'll get over it

 

completely ignore her. trust me on this one. she needs space, and only with space will she figure out if she wants to be with you. By completely IGNORE, i mean - NO CONTACT AT ALL

 

+1

Find someone else and move on

 

Ok...
you seem clingy. then again she does seem like shes trying to avoid you..

start avoiding her and act like your busy even if it kills you. she may just try to be distancing herself since shes going far away to school and is thinking that she wants to have a bit of fun overthere.

just stop constantly questioning her and go out with your friends and meet some people and just enjoy yourself. youre 21 and have a long way ahead of you bro. dont worry

 

i told her im tired of talking through text messages and we need to talk face to face like people. why im upset. my point of view.

am i wrong to want to see her more than 2 days out of the week and 3-4 hours at a time. i work graveyards. im in bed by 7pm..wake up at 11, go in at 12 and work til 8 or 9am. if i do see her during the week on a work night, its only for a few minutes..basically hi and bye

i dunoo. i told her to come over tomorrow if she wants to talk

 

if i lived in the same city as my last gf id want to see her often...if shes not talking to you honestly id say fuck it bro move on

 

i cant let two years end like that. things were so perfect. i dunno what happened

 

so show up at her place of residence and say look, im not leaving until you tell me whats going on, in detail. ultimatums > women.

 

2 years? you're 21. you were 19 then. not a lot of life lessons would have been learned during those two years.

I dont mean to rain on your parade, but you didnt lose two years. give her the space she seemingly wants and move on. see other chicks. do something else than worry about her giving you time. either a chick gives you the attention you want or she doesnt.

women are always going to be hard to figure out. guys that over think relationships forget to see the bigger picture. you're young and 21 - get out there and have fun.

 

ultimatums = needy

you can never argue with a woman nor give her an ultimatum. might as well shoot yourself in the foot and call it a day.

 

man no wonder shes avoiding you. your a bitch. man up and grow some balls....

don't you understand? the more you WANT to see her, the more you WANT to work things out, the more you TRY to fix things, the FURTHER you will PUSH HER AWAY.

You want her to think and value your relationship? ONLY WITH SPACE and NO CONTACT will she truly value the relationship she had with you..

I've been through exactly what your going through. Except, after I got shafted a few times, I said fuck it. A week later, girl's come back crawling. If she doesn't, then you just did yourself a favor.

 

^Listen to these guys.

And to quote a great radio personality "Harden the Fuck up Mate" Jason Ellis

 

unfortunately, I don't think he will listen.

Bud, you didn't lose anything. You gained experience, and now it's time to learn and grow...

go spend some time with your friends, hang out, do what you need to do. Only when you can be happy by yourself, can you be happy with someone else....

 

We've got a stage 5 clinger here.

 

Damn the wisdom is just running ramped around here

 

fuck..im not a clinger. i hang out with my friends all the time..we wrench on cars, bbq and drink

all i wanted is to see her more than a few days out of the week. we saw each other everday at first..thats what she wanted. now both of us are busy with work and shit. it really is hard to have a normal life you work graveyards.

she got home at 6 and i was going to bed at 6ish.

and i got balls..wanna see

were talking now. we are talking things out and making it right

kthxbye

 

Hope things work out for the best bro.

 

word

 

BTW, You don't know where I can find any Hot Asian women do ya?? LoL

Just trying to lighten the mood

 

^Not around here man. You need to get out of NC.

 

^ don't remind me

 

^Mitzi has a hot asian friend. Too bad that 9 year age difference between yall would probably not go over well with the authorities

 

Damn... I mean.. 16 is legal

 

20 is pushing it for that man. Trust me. I know.

25 is...well...how about you find out and tell me how it goes

 

i understand you very well. i have gf she lives in NY queens i live in NJ i can see her at least 2-3 times a week but now its like 1 week im getting mad cuz i cant see her... you should talk to her and ask her whats goin on you want the best and what she wants, ask her if she need space thats cool give it to her if shes not sure then try NO CONTACT AT ALL if that is not gonna help im sorry... i argue with my gf alot but always one of us is gonna do something to fix this shes 4 years older than me she thinks a bit different and i know she doesnt want anybody else... i wish you luck man

 

You are 21, hit the streets let her travel... Live it up man.

 

so she dated a guy and his brother? hmmmmm

 

sounds like the 2 years is gone... but like everyone said it's a learning experience.

I personally wouldn't try to stop her from going to London. Yeah you made plans, but things change especially when you're young. It would be selfish of you if you stopped her (Also pretty controlling).

 

x2

Sounds like she's slowly but surely growing up and moving on. Not surprising considering how old you guys are...it happens all the time around that age. Good luck though.