Hey everyone. Heres a little back story for any of u who did'nt read my post in Feb about my ex cheating on me. In feb i caught my ex wife cheating. She had been having an affair for 6 months. So long story short i'm getting divorced. Truth is i was'nt happy for the past year and a half or so. So this was'nt really hard at all. I don't know why i stayed with her i just did i guess because it was all i knew. Fast forward to now.

I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months now. My ex has been gone for since March. I've dated 3 other women since then Tiff being the 4th. Guys WTF? I am head over heals in love with this women. Shes absolutley everything i could want. But i guess i'm worried i'm moving too fast. I know she feels the same, i kind of came out and told her the other night, and she felt the same way about me. It really feels 100% right! My 2 best friends think that were great together and support me. But i do have the guys at work telling me i;m a fuckin tard etc....I've always been the guy who likes to be with one women. I've fucked around right after my ex left and did my thing being a man whore, but no alll i want is to make this one happy. Of course there are pros and cons to everything. She has a kid. Now i've wanted kids for a couple of years, but deep down knew that my ex and i would'nt work out. I really just fucked my self stayin with her as long as i did, i guess her cheating made it easy for me to get out of that relationship. I was'nt in love with my ex for some time.

Now i'm the happiest ive been in as long as i can remember. This new one is awesome. Shes got a masters, good job, good head on her shoulders, has goals etc. Shes great. Shes sexy, beautiful, fun, and i when i'm with her i feel like nothing else matters. Do u guys think i'm rushing. I can't help what i feel, and honestly i was not looking for this it just happened. I was going to just single for a long time, but she just came along and i don't know. What do you guys think?

 

I don't see anything wrong with pursuing the relationship. I also don't see a reason to push for engagement or marriage either, though. I read a statistic where something like one third of divorcees remarry within a year. Don't become that statistic!

That said, it sounds like you two have a great attraction. See where it goes, imo.

 

No i'm not talkin about marriage anytime soon. She knows my situ and is ok with it. When i came out and told her how i felt she said shes been feeling the same way, but was waiting for me to be ready. Ur right on the money, i just want to see where i leads, if it leads down that road one day, great, if not i live to fight another day ya know.

 

Go ahead and get yours, man

 

 

Becareful bro! the way you feel now must of been the same way you felt about your ex when you first started seeing her. Sounds like this girl is great minus the kid part which is only bad if you make it. She has a master thats a

If you both like each other than move foward but also take your time also! Why rush there isn't any real reason for it is there, doubt it. If you haven't already make sure you spend a lot of time with her and the kid to see how she really is and how the kid likes you too.

How old is the kid and is the father still in the picture? If the father is around you gotta make sure you watch yourself even more because fathers might be upset that their kid is hanging around with mommys b/f and what not. All in all just make sure you think about stuff even the little things that will make a big difference.


Keep us posted

 

thanks for the reply bro. The father has'nt been in the picture since the kid was born. She has'nt seen or herd from him in 2 years and dos'nt want anything to do with him. They were together all through higschool when she was 21 she got knocked up and then he left.

The kid is well behaved and she seems like a great mother. I will just have to spend time with them and see how it goes. I don't think im rushing nor do i plan too. I'm very happy where i'm at right now and just want to take my time and if everything works out in the end then thats great, if not i'll live.

Ill post a pic in a day or 2.

 

I don't see a problem. Just as long as what you really love about her is that she is NOT like your ex.

 

I know how you feel, i was with a girl for a long time, till she started seeing a marine behind my back for 2 months. i was devastated, but it wasnt till i was out of the relationship and dating another girlfriend (my current one now) that i realized how much i had been missing. sometimes we stay with people because weve been with them for a while and it seems like the right thing to do, not wanting to be selfish and look for something that suits you better, we knuckle up and try to find joy in things that have lost there fun.

As :ghey: as itmay sound.. you find all the wrong ones till you find the right one. i never believed that shit till now

 

dont put a timestamp on your feelings, if its what you want, then pursue it all the way. sounds like you are already involved though so you are following your heart, the true test is how you feel after about 6 months though. once youre both used to each other in your life and are still crazy about each other, then she could be the one. good luck with it... hope it works out the way you want it to.

 

^^

time is nothing more then a number

 

I agree on the most part of the 19 year old

 

Enjoy yourself for sure, but proceed very slowly! Children aren't toys. They need REAL guidence and tons of time and love. They deserve it. If you get serious with this girl you WILL be a parent figure. Whether it's a good one or a bad one, you will make an impact on the little one. If you're not ready or willing to own that role, get out. The child must come first. If you are ready for that role, it can be the best journey of your life.

 

age too is just a number!

 

exactly what I was trying to say, gotta be ready to help take care of the kid, even if you're just boyfriend.
I know I was just giving you:troutslap

 

Thanks for the replys guys. I am crazy about her, and ur right i'll see how i feel in 6 months. I'm not looking at her as " the one ", but right now i'm very happy and if she turns out to be that one, great. I wanted kids for a while now. I always knew deep down that me and my ex would not work out and thats why i never went that route. I know, infact the boy has somewhat already became attached. Shes only had 2 Boyfreinds her whole life and the last one lived far away. So hes only 3 and i'm over there 1-2 times a week. So hes begining to get to know me. I have no problem with her having a kid. I would like one of my own someday.

Thanks for the advice guys i'll keep it in my brain. My parents met her this weekend and loved her. They hated my ex and told me this time there going to be honest about how they feel. So i guess thats a good start.

 

My rule of thumb.. women show their true colors after 8 months.

Beware

 

if you really want to see someones true colors, go away with them..

 

another point I was going say, go on vacation with them and or live with them to see how they really are. When you are with them for a couple days straight to see if you get irrated with a each other or not.

 

Yeah were plannin a trip to ocean city in late Aug. I will be spending Friday, Sat, Sunday with her this up comming weekend.

 

Why 8 months?

 

I've never spent more than a full day with her. So this weekend well see what happens. I plan on doing all of the above before it gets anymore serious meaning thinking about marraige. If in a year or so where still together, maybe we'll talk about moving in. But thats a LONG way off guys. So right now i'm just going to enjoy where we are at.

 

I say 1 year or what I refer to as the "honeymoon" period. People can always put on their best face/behavior but after you've been with someone for a year it's difficult to hide one's true self.

Props for dealing with a single mom. That's too much potential drama for me and I have never been with someone with a child. Since you've already been married once you're prolly more emotionally equipped to deal with issues that may arise than myself. GL!

 

Well Surfer Rick says 1 year, I say around 8 months.

But its pretty much as Rick says: people can only put up a front for so long before their true colors show.

My honeymoon stages tend to last around 6- 8 months: meaning that is the time when things are still exciting, new, and I'm willing to do stupid things "just to make them smile."

Yeah I know, what you 3 women who frequent Acurazine are thinking: "Guys should be like that all the time!" Outside of a Danielle Steele novel, most guys will do that for around 6 months to a year. After that, its more about being able to love, live and plan your life with the other person.

 

 

Ok, girl here. I agree about the 8 month thing. Maybe that is why I never had a relationship (before my current one), that lasted longer than that. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and he is the best think that has ever happened to me. He is my boyfriend and my best friend. I think that when its right, you know it.

 

The best relationships are when your S.O. is your lover and your best friend. Unfortunately, many of us (myself included) are reluctant to jeopardize a great, solid friendship with a female for something more significant. I hooked up with my best female friend once and it got really weird between us for awhile when we decided not to be a couple, i.e. me experiencing slight pangs of jealousy when she told me about her dates and uncomfortable tension when we did stuff together. Eventually it worked itself out but I believe unless you're 100% committed to being in a monogamous relationship with your friend of the opposite sex, sometimes a great friendship built over many years takes precedence

 

I'm glad you found the girl that you think is the one but I think I'm going to have to stray from the group here and say be careful. Not trying to be a jerk but you were married (not sure how long) so you were used to having someone around 24/7 and probably have forgotten what it is like to be alone. People in general like to stick to what they are comfortable with and IMO that means you want things to be how they were, ie married life.

You say you weren't in love with your ex anymore but you were still married and together which makes things confusing. The three rebound girls seem pretty normal after getting out of a relationship but was it you or them that ended things? I usually want to jump back in a relationship but the girls I hook up with know it isn't a good time for them to get involved with me so they keep it strictly sex despite what I want. After long relationship I would probably end up marrying a bar chick if it weren't for them saying no. Would I be happy, hell no but I want that dating life back.

Again, not trying to rain on your parade but getting divorced in March, dating 3 girls and now a fourth which you have been for 2 months is a lot going on in a real rough time for you. Take your time and make sure this isn't a long term rebound. If not, again congrats. I as well as all of AZine wish you the best

 

I'm going to chime in with the caution on the kid thing as well. If you're not prepared to take on a parent role then get out now. The kid absolutely comes first. What's in his best interest comes way before yours.
Also, your head is still way up in the clouds. You probably don't even notice the world going on around you when you're with her. Happy Hour is still going strong. Wait until you sober up before making any decisions or even begin to think about the future.

 

QFT

Srsly 4 months post-divorce?!?! Just chill out and go out with a bunch of different girls to gain some perspective. You're still like a horse with blinders IMO.

 

IMO don't shy away from anything, just have fun. I think a key point is to enjoy where you're at with her now, instead of thinking about where you will be. Don't leave the kid out either. Have fun with him.

 

You've learned something a lot of guys your age haven't because you've been through a marriage already. You have a much better idea now of what will work for you and what won't. I would trust your instincts, not arbitrary timelines or what others think you should do. My only advice would be this: if she's right for you now, she'll be right for you 6 months from now. Take the time you need to ensure your next marriage doesn't repeat what happened before - especially since a child is involved, and it sounds like you are interested in having some yourself. My only other advice would be to make sure she's in love with you, not idea of you in the sense she may really want a husband, or the fact that you might be a good father. You two are the center of a family - children are additions to it.

But if you are lucky enough to have found it, go with it and be happy.

 

I agree.. going on a long road trip or traveling may reveal the bigger picture of what to expect and how you two will deal with each other as partners. Otherwise, it sounds like a good match. You guys are settled in your lives so there's no need to rush things, take your time.

 

Its been a little while since i've posted bout whats going on. Were still dating and i'm very happy where i'm at. She lives about 1.5 hours away from me, we see each other when we can. I see her around 2 times a week. It sucks because we want to see each other more, BUT its a good thing because it allows us to take our time and not get burned out on each other.

Right now, i could'nt be happier. Were just taking it one day at a time. We have since taken 2 weekend trips. The frist one we spent the weekend together and on the sunday went to Kings Dominion for the day. Had a blast. Second we went to Ocean City for 2 days. Again had a really good time with each other. Were spending this friday/sat together. So far so good. We've talked several times about my situ and hers, and agree just taking it slow, and really get to know one another.

BTW: sex = fucking amazing....

 

Now before anyone else asks... Pics naow~~!!!!!!!!!

 

do what makes you happy homie.... if thats her that makes you happy, then go for it. remember; if it doesnt work out you can move on from her just like how u moved on from ur ex wife..... its life but you have to live it. i say go for it .

Good Luck

 

Fixed.. lol..

Glad you two are doing well and are taking your time. I hope things continue to go well..

 

Thanks guys...i'll post some pics soon..