I've been friends with this girl for about 2 years now and we've gotten really close... close as in telling really bad stuff, events and helping her feel better about herself. But she's been in a 5 month long relationship with a guy who though isnt going to our school, used to be my best friend some time ago. Ever since school started, we've been flirting alot and possibly leading me on even when she had a boyfriend. about a week ago she broke up with him in a long argument.

Anyway, is it too soon to make a move? we've been talking and while talking, she talked in third person (this other girl) and said, "this other girl is perhaps not ready to date since she just got out of a long and hard relationship." Shit. Ouch. Damn.

But in an instant message conversation, she was talking again bout this girl (i know shes just sayin this for a not direct way to tell me things) "that this girl thought she was ready to date again like 2 days after the break up but then realized she may need some time to think. That she was ready to date this guy who she is really close to (me i know) but wanted some time to think." I didnt officially ask her yet... but i kinda hinted at it and im thinking that it may be too soon and i told her, if i were this guy and i liked her as much as she does him, he should be patient and wait for her.

But today has been possibly the worst day i've experienced in probably a few years... i couldnt stop thinkin bout her, i couldnt sleep, and even though we still are really close, i cant help it to constantly think of how great it would be be with her. i dont wanna be to quick and impatient, especially i waited 4 months for her and now i dont wanna screw things up... especially when i just rejected anotha girl to make sure that if this girl breaks up, i would be free to try something.

Damn. tomorrow better be betta then this shit.

 

dude, your 15......dont get so caught up with this stuff, your very young. But give her a few weeks to "recover" just keep doing what you're doing and im sure it'll turn out fine. Just make sure she knows you sweat her hard (but not stupidly, ie blatant verbal overtures, etc..) subtle moves will work. Besides that just play it cool, not over active or too laid back. I assume you dont want her to "work out" her problems with ex-boyfriend and leave you in the dust.

 

i already tlked to her bout that cuz this dude... he was like my best friend for 2 years... just cuz we went to different High Schools

and she said that when they talked, My friend wanted things to go back the way they were and she replied "thats not gonna happen anytime soon" and shes pretty hurt so i'll just b there for her i guess until she wants to date again

but damn shes so f*ckin hot... damn hormones

 

Find yourself a few skanks and band geeks to nail and get your confidence up before trying to hit in the big leagues.

 

I really hate to agree with this post, because I really don't like the "sleeping around" attitude most guys gravitate toward, but I actually think this guy has kinda right idea. I remember being in situations like that in high school, and the best advice I NEVER got was to find constructive outlets (other women, activities, etc) for your emotional energy. Another way of putting it is don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Men are genetically programmed for being promiscuous, so it is very natural for certain men to have enough emotional energy to satisfy two or three women at a time. At your age this is even worse because the female sex drive and desire for relationships will never be smaller than it is right now. I was in the exact same situation you are in high school several times, and I have emotional scars from all of them. What I didn't understand was how all of that emotional energy (enough for two or three women, at times) destroyed my chances with these girls over and over again. I think if you allow yourself a little bit of infatuation with several other girls that you know, even if you really don't want those relationships to go anywhere, you will feel ten times more comfortable with this girl that you really like, and your chances of letting that relationship go somewhere will quickly multiply. You'll feel a huge emotional weight lifted off your shoulders in regards to this girl, you'll be able to focus, and you'll effectively stave off an emotional scar in the event that things don't actually work out. If you do this, you will be able to deal with failure, at least emotionally, and you'll probably have a better chance of being able to keep her around as a friend if things do go downhill. It doesn't necessarily mean sleeping around, and it doesn't even have to mean putting all of your emotional energy into other women--if you have an artistic hobby, that always helps, as do sports and excercise, which relieve your brain of testosterone.

I fear that if you do not find more constructive outlets for your emotional energy, you could hurt yourself and destroy your chances with this girl. If the outlet can only take 20 Amps, don't give it 40!

 

How much do you value her as a friend? Are you willing to jeopardize the friendship?

I've seen many friends go through your situation and end up dating their friends. HS relationships rarely last more than a year or two (often a few months), and in the end, they have lost an otherwise (possibly) great, lifelong friend.

 

Not sure which way to go on this one.

Normally, I am a big proponent of dating someone who started out as a friend. Most of my more serious relationships were like this. But a lot has to do with how mature you are.

At your age, I would say, if you choose to make your feelings known, even if you end up dating, be aware that there is a good chance that if and when the relationship ends, so too will your friendship. As to how long to wait....I think 5 days is customery.

 

I took on your thread with a decent amount of seriousness until I realized that you're only 15. To tell you the truth, it probably won't get better. At 15, once you have your mind set on a girl, it will be pretty damn hard to get her out. I would call into question your 2 year friendship with this girl simply on the basis that it started at 13 and at that age, it is easily confused between liking someone and giving someone the attention they are seeking. Sure attention leads to attraction in a large amount of cases, but those cases alone contribute largely to the majority of breakups. The point I am trying to take across is that you guys have given each other the emotional desires and attention you both have seeked and when the opportunity presented itself (ie. breakup with current bf) there is a void that needs to be filled. It is at this critical moment that you might start to confuse affection with attention. Do what you feel is best. At 15, you can afford to lose a few friends, especially if they are girls.

 

Yes, it's too soon for you to be worrying about this stuff.

 

A tad bit young eh laddy?

 

Dude ... crossing the HS friend to relationship threshold is not necessarily a good thing. Both of you are really that emotionally mature yet (I'm stereotyping here since I never met either of you but it's a fairly safe thing for me to assume) ... don't be thinking to yourself, "She's the one", etc.

I don't question your feelings for her and she has already given you the hint to give her a little space. The 'rebound' position that you're in is great if you want a quick hook-up. However, I think you've got more feelings than that for her so play it cool.

As Pull_T / salvataz have already mentioned, explore other avenues. I think that's your way to go. It may not make sense to you now ... but it's the right way to go. I'm not saying man-whore yourself out but keep your eyes open to other females out there.

 

chances are you won't be friends with this broad in the long run. I think you should pretend to care, hit it as much as you can and dip.

 

Any updates?

How's life Andy?

 

well its not going bad i guess... i guess we still pass notes, talk and flirt still.... just not as much as we were and as much as i would like

shes a great friend and i still like to get with her but we're just not as close as we were... or perhaps we're closer i got no damn idea no more. But i decided not to let much of this affect me and ruin my whole damn day just if she dosnt pass a note back or if it seems like shes not tlkin to me, cuz i no im just being naive and its not like that at all... it seems like im obsessed

and she still says that she dosnt feel like datin for awhile... i'll see what i can do on the NY trip... nothin like being in the back of a coach bus with 3 girls sleepin on u on the trip back home

and although i do want her right now more than any other girl, there are plenty of other friends decent enough to build up my confidence

thanks for everyone's help

 

You should at least get yourself a tugoff on the bus trip. Bring some lube and a blanket so you can be discreet.

 

hahahahaha

Honestly though, I'm sure you could get a good knobber. Ditch the lube and still bring the blanket - at this point you can jerk yourself off much better than some broad.

 

backstabbing bitch... well dosnt this always happen... i try my f*ckin hardest to be there for her in her time of need and shit... and she starts to have a conversation with one of my good friends and eventually asks him out. SHIT and of course he says yes... i gotta lower my damn standards preferably one w/o a good head on their shoulders and one can give great head

 

^^Take this as a lesson learned, young jedi. Don't be there for another girl unless she's there for you.

 

Thats high school for ya. In high school you gotta worry about hooking up with girls, not relationships. There are plenty of young, willing & able girls at your age, you just have to find them. Parties are a great place to start.

 

wait a few more days and then tell her how you feel... simple as that