Lol. I'll go out on a limb and start this thread knowing full well how most of you will respond. And being that I don't really care what you think nor will I ever really meet any of you I think it's ok.

My wife and I have been together very happily for 8+ years now. We got engaged in Fall 2009 and got married December 2010. I am 27 she is 26.

We have been completely faithful to each other. Actually I should mention that neither of us have had other sexual partners. I popped hers and she popped mine way back when. We are brutally honest with each other. There isn't a coin unturned between us. Sure we fight, like everyone does, but we always listen to each other with respect and rationally work out the issue. We have complete faith and trust in each other. 100%. There has never been a reason for either of us to doubt each other.

However, it came to our attention one day that we felt like we skipped the "crazy college days". We will go out with our friends and they all share stories and memories of the fun and crazy times they had. We met when she was a senior in HS and then went to college together and lived together.

We played the 'game' correctly. Work hard, school hard, honors students, etc. We would go out but never anything crazy. Not that we are fuddy-duddies by any means. We were what I would call "overly responsible". And that is completely OK. But like I said, we felt like we wanted to experience some of the fun we missed out on.

So after some talking we came to the conclusion that swinging would be a fun yet safe way of enjoying some of those crazy experiences. Especially now that we can experience them together, within the comforts and safety of our solid relationship.

So we looked into it, read some books, joined a couple forums, and eventually made it to a local club. The atmosphere was fantastic. The people were fantastic. There were some hotties, there were fuglies, there were some younguns and there were some oldies. What I noticed most of all was that it was a no pressure atmosphere. No means no, no questions. No one is judgmental of anything. If you aren't a chubby chaser, don't chase a chubby. That mentality is carried over for everything.

We didn't make any moves because we wanted to take some steps and evaluate ourselves as we take them. But now we are on the verge. We have several couples that we have befriended (all young and very attractive) that text us almost every weekend to meet up or go out. And I think we are about ready to pull the trigger.

Now I know what most of you will say but we don't really view sex like that. We aren't jealous or selfish people. And we have complete faith in each other, even in this. Granted we have some rules that will have to be followed. Obviously to us physical involvements is one thing and emotional involvement is another. Most of the rules are set up to prohibit the latter.

ANYWAYS! What are your thoughts? Please keep it civil. I see what some of you do on the other threads. And given this topic it could really get out of hand. So please be keep it on topic and constructive.

 

Try it, both of you might like it.
its something fun, different, and probably make both of you realize what you really want.

 

^Which, truthfully, is each other. That is a point we haven't neglected to notice. Even with the little steps taken. Which kind of makes it that much more exciting.

 

:obligatorypicturesplease:

 

Umm, given the topic, you may want to be more specific in your pic demands. Lol

 

Do it.

 

It might be a great thing but it also has the potential to create a huge rift. Additionally, ONE bad experience (some guy does something to your wife she does not care for, etc..) cold really put a damper on the entire sex issue for a while...

I mean, let's be brutally honest, here... You two and another couple get in bed. You set rules. No one ejaculates on or in the other couples faces (grabbing a rule out the air here...). Other dude gets excited and blows his load on or in your wife's mouth/face.

HONESTLY, how are you going to feel?

No way I could handle watching some other dude do stuff like that to a girl I was committed to.

My advice? Watch porn together. Do crazy stuff together. Have sex in public places, outdoors, crazy positions, try weird creams and lubes and edible underwear... But DON'T SHARE YOUR WIFE.

Honestly, at some point she will (possibly) be the mother of your children. Do you want to think back to that time you watched some dude pile drive her while, in a few years she is nursing your baby? I doubt it.

Hey, I never tried Heroin. Doesn't mean I am going to try it out... You know what I mean?

 

A bad experience is almost expected, right? We haven't pondered on this for so long thinking everything will be peachy. In that instance, in that example, things were done and there is nothing you can do about it. And if there is something to do be done, it would be up to her. Be that act through me or take care of business herself, the choice would be hers as it was her and her partner. She's a grown woman, she can take care of herself in an adult, respectful manner.

Been there, done all of that. Trust me we didn't get here lightly. And I hope no one does.

A child is created out of love. Love has nothing to do with any of this. Swinging would also be the last thing on my mind if my wife and I just had a baby. And we will, no doubt. We want 3. Girl first, Lillian. Boy second, Gabriel. Girl third, Evelyn. Just FYI. Lol

I see your point. And thanks for sharing it. This is the kind of response I wanted to see. But I would never compare doing a hard addictive drug to some NSA sex with other 'taken' people. Lol

 

What ever floats your baot man...but remember...for every action a reaction.

Personally, I would not let anybody touch my wife. OK..OK maybe a hot chick.

 

^I know you are joking somewhat and somewhat not with those last few words so I'll ask. What's the difference between sharing her with a woman vs sharing her with a man, in the end, to you?

I bet 90% of the guys here would do a FMF with their SOs. So what REALLY is the difference? Other then the anatomy. Lol

 

a penis penetrating your wife.


Edit...damnit, you edited.

 

I thanked you for the clarification justn. Lol

But no seriously, most of you would totally do a FMF. In the end, what really is the difference? Threatened by the penis and not the vagina?

Edit: Hahahaha

 

Maybe it's just me and my 'prudish' old ways but my wife is more than enough for me and I'd imagine such a turn would only be harmful to a marriage. On the other hand, I got it all out of my system long ago. Whatever works for you in a consenting legal way, go for it.

 

Thanks for your post Ken.

We kind of feel like we have it in our system, and need to get it out, before we start creating and affecting other lives.

So you're on point sir.

 

This thread is fucking weird. I hope you like the taste of penis.

 

Paging majofo, paging majofo.


Oh, you made it!

 

Justn's the guy who comes single to the swinger's party.

 

Your avatar is weird Majofo. This thread is what it is. I figured I would stir the pot a bit. Lol

 

Marriage to me is too sacred and too hard to introduce two other people into your bedroom. that is my opinon. if you two are bored with each other now, and longed for days where you had the opportunity to chase tail, I would evaluate your marriage as a whole.
I dunno, maybe it is just our society, nothing this world has to offer will fulfill us. but that is a whole other thread.

Good luck with your decision, I just can not imagine letting some dude touch my wife.

 

Marriage is sacred to us too. And not something we did without careful consideration. Obviously because we were crazy happy and knew each other for 6 years before I even proposed!

It's not that we are bored with each other at all. Our sex life is fantastic. So fantastic we've done just about everything under the sun and have had a blast doing it. Maybe we just like pushing the envelope?

And I see your point and respect it. Most men couldn't.

 

Wait, you're doing this so you can share crazy stories?

 

Lol no

Edit: Now that I'm not on my phone in traffic I'll say sure, being able to share memories of this in the future with EACH OTHER will be a plus and some spice. Right?

 

I agree with Ken. Unfortunately, OP and his wife didn't have the opportunity to sow their proverbial oats. I got it out of my system too and now I'm too scared to get an STI so monogamy works for me.

OP, just remember that when you introduce a 3rd person into your bed, the dynamics of your relationship with your wife will certainly change. I ran a threesome with a GF once and her female friend and it seriously f-cked our relationship up. Point being, if you are doing something with strangers whom you are never going to see again than it would be a lot better than doing it with a couple who you might socialize with again in a non-sexual context in the future. Just my

 

If you want another dick in the room with you & your lady, get her a glass dick. Trust me bro, if your relationship is as serious as you've mentioned, the swinger thing will damage it in the long run. I'm with some of the other members...avoid the swinger clubs and make your own porn with your woman.

 

BTW...Who initiated the thought of visiting a swinger clubs..you or your GF?

 

This was my first thought as well.

Even with all the rules set in place & other pre-cautions, our emotions are near unpredictable when just the right action occurs. You or she may be fine with this now, but is there really anything you could do to prepare yourself to watch your partner of 8 years suddenly having sex with someone else, or vice versa? I can't honestly imagine what kind of emotions that can stir up even if you believe you'll be fine with it.

The other thing is what Rick touched on & what I was starting to get at above. If you & her plan to continue spending time with this couple beyond just having sex with them, what's there to stop one of you (or them) from suddenly having an attachment to another? Emotions like these are weird, as far as I've seen; not everyone cheats just because they can. I'll note that this isn't what I'm calling swinging or your decision, but that some people ultimately cheat because they've grown emotionally towards another person. I mean no offense by this.

I'll end this by saying that I am in no way saying this is what will or won't happen, but more so that your/her's emotions during all this could bring turmoil to your relationship because it only takes 1 thing to start a reaction. I'm a part of those who believe this kind of thing should stay between 2 people b/c I couldn't even conceive the thought of sharing my loved one with someone else for a night; it'd probably break me, tbh.

But, if you both feel you truly can participate in this without any issue, then best of luck to you both. You both seem like you truly are trying to take the right steps towards this.

 

Interesting...up to the swinger part my wife and I are basically mirrors of you and your girl...we were both each others first...never thought ab swinging and wouldn't do it either but being faithful isn't easy...we have a little girl together and are very happily married....I don't know how I could risk ruining that to efff some random chick

 

What the hell is wrong with sky diving? I wouldn't do it, i like my boring stable life too much.

 

:ibtheeventualdivorcethread:

Ya see kids, this is why you never marry your first love, and why you never marry young.
Play the field, get some relationship experience with many people, so that you don't have the "regret" - "what if" situation come up after you are married.

 

Lol sky dived many times. White water rafted. Climbed steep peaks. We both do enjoy the rush for sure.

I'll give some proper replies when I get home later.

Drink date with two girls and my wife. Wish me luck. Lol

 

This is the kind of childish immaturity that would never survive anything like what this topic is about.

Just FYI for all the thread readers.

Thanks to those level headed people who have given valid input thus far.

 

In my opinion, once you do this there is no turning back. Personally even introducing a threesome can cause problems, especially more so in your case since you guys KNOW the couple you plan to introduce.

If this was more of an experiment, you should have approached a random couple, asked them outright and did it then.

the fact that you know them compromises your relationship if you proceed. I wouldnt even try it now with the couple you know. better a random couple, but then again, better not at all.

 

That's what i'm talking about

I'd still puss out.

 

A level headed response is only one you agree with?

It's not what you want to hear, but you asked for opinions.

Nobody goes into a marriage thinking that they will get a divorce.
The odds are stacked against them however of greater than a 50% chance.

Now add "swinging" into the the mix and your odds have increased exponentially.
Simple odds, simple math, simple human relationships.

The odds are not in your favor.

 

OP: You got an endgame plan?

What if you wanna quit the scene and she doesn't...or visa versa?

That's when things get messy. Are you betting on the fact that you will both be swingers for life, or that you will both agree at the same time to quit the scene?

Waaaay to complex, and don't kid yourself, humans are emotional creatures, and emotions will get involved.

Sure there are those who have a "healthy relationship" being swingers....like diamonds in the rough.....they do exist.

 

Now I like you less. You ask about swinging in a an off topic area of an Acura forum and think you will get a scholarly discourse on how to properly introduce other sexual partners into your relationship?

Dude, you want a serious discussion? Go ask a priest or your mother what you should do.

You are on the internet. Don't take shit so seriously.

Speaking of which, if you are OK sharing your wife in a sexual situation, why not send everyone in this thread nudes of her via PM? No joke. If you are really personally OK sharing her... Or maybe just with the people who gave you "serious" answers... In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

honestly, if i watched some other dude pile drive my chick, id be done.

but whatever gets you guys off



there are better things you guys can do. but i gotta agree with everyone with the emotional issues and one person wanting to stop while the other doesnt. it will just make everything complicated and send your relationship in a downward spiral

 

Guys, stating opinions and concerns is one thing. Saying "thisthreadshouldberelabeledimgoingtobedivorcedsoo n" is quite another. Im sorry thats how i see it... You can state your opinion all you want. People already have and I was fine. You just don't have to be an ass about it.

BTW, we dont know these potential people other then online and the phone. We've never met any of them.

 

Oh and lookup swinger divorce rates and the average American rates. You'll be surprised.

And one of the rules if one is uncomfortable, it stops. If things get to close, it stops. If the safe word is spoken, it stops. If one of us doesn't respect each other enough to do that when it happens, then that person doesn't deserve the other and it's better now then in 15 years.

I trust my wife. Love my wife. Respect my wife. If she can't do the same maybe I'd be better off.

 

i just dont see anything good coming out of this