That's why I laugh when I hear people saying they've been married 2,3 & even 4 times. At this point why even bother with that kind on track record.

 

The divorce rate is surely blowing out of proportion IMO. Over the past few months I've run into guys I used to work with from 03 to 08, all were married, bought houses, had kids, etc. during that time. I ask how things are going and they're like well I'm paying support, take a guess.

It's almost as if people are just getting married for the title as if it is a mandatory step when you care for someone.

It reminds me a lot of high schoolish relationships, you're with someone for a few weeks all of a sudden you start saying "love you" when you hang up the phone. Quit rushing into shit damn it, marriage is supposed to be forever.

 

Okay, from the perspective of someone long time married (just celebrated our 38th ann), and happy about it, and a retired military guy.... two important maxims, learned from my wife:
1. COMMUNICATION. Always talk to each other about everything. There are no mind readers on this planet, not married ones anyway.
2. DON'T TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED. Treat your spouse the way you did when you were dating/ first married. This is more work than many realize.
As for the military or any other career that has separation involved, there is no easy answer. Some couples can do this, some don't. The ones that do grow (or endure) to make the best of separations.
So it's Sunday and thus ends the brief sermon.:wink:

 

Im still young so there arent too many people I know that have been married. Most of my friends parents are divorced though. Luckily my parents have stuck through all the drama.

 

ding ding ding

Another gift bestowed upon us by the baby boomers.

 

Yeah, but unlike a car lease, you're still making payments for that particular model after it's been replaced by another.

 

So what Terry is basically saying.. Most people have poor taste and if they were smart, they would be patient and buy something with a classic body and substance under the hood. Rather than stupid enough to buy the first two door rental they come across, running a HT4100 that has had about as many drivers in her seat than internal parts replaced under the hood. By the time you wise up you won't have enough money for bus fare let alone have enough to buy the new ZR1 equipped with big front side airbags, firm suspension, and enough power to blow your socks off and your head back.

 

But what if the 2 door rental is red with nice headlights. And by that I mean blond with big tits?

 

I'm sure it is red and shiny with nice headlights but soon the headlights will glaze over and the cheap paint will fade. She won't turn over no matter how much you tinker under the hood. On the days you can get her running, not only is ride harsh, the springs in the seat are giving out.

And by that I mean those big tits will sag, you find out she dyes her hair and is layered in makeup which she stops after marriage. No more sex, no matter all the gifts and foreplay you try. And on the days she'll be seen with you in public, she's a bitchy and busting your balls.

 

Which is why you don't buy the rental. You rent it.. and whore the shit out of it.

 

Your post is approved....

 

Wow, I just saw this thread-read all the way through it....

I've not talked about this on Acurazine, but I will here.

I just got engaged a month ago to a woman I met on eHarmony. I've been married and divorced, have a 22 year old daughter. I've also lived with a woman. She moved out 3 years ago. I never felt the need to get married again. But I met Rhonda on eHarmony and just knew that she was "the one". In my 54 years of marriages, relationship, live-in's....I've never met a woman I felt was "the one". We compliment each other wonderfully. We get along famously. She makes me feel as though I want that commitment with her. I've tried numerous times to sit down and figure out why I feel the way I feel. All I can tell you is she is "the one", and that's never happened to me before.

If I am nothing, I do feel that I'm a good judge of character. So I move forward without hesitation or reservation with her. I'm going to go and be happy. I just hope and pray each day that this will be the case.

 

Go for it.

 

Good luck Steven

 

Congratulations Steven!

I never got a chance to update this post.
My best friend and her husband (my ex-husband) have decided to work through their differences and have been making an honest go of their marriage. I'm so happy that they're working through it and sticking together for now.

There's a quote that reads something like "Being married is about falling in love again and again, to the same person." I find this to be incredibly true. My husband and I go through our times when we feel distant from each other, but we always find a way to bring it back and rekindle. I think marriage is a series of waves and sometimes we bail too soon.

BTW - if you've read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages you'll know what I mean when I say that my husband and I stuck it out through the "in love obsession" and didn't marry until that phase of our relationship had passed. Best decision ever!

 

This boomer is coming up on 15 years of being HAPPILY MARRIED.

 

How does your wife feel?






















j/k Killer. Congrats.

 

God Bless Steven.

@ Terry.

I've been married for over 21 years. The wife and I DID get married because of her pregnancy with our oldest child and it was a conscious choice by both of us to do so.

I won't lie: it's been rocky for a good portion of these 21 years....mainly because we both struggle with the two shall become one concept. And we're committed Christians, so go figure!!

It's still hard us to sacrifice our individuality for the sake of anything. Period. As far as marriage goes, it's one and done. I love my wife to death, but I wouldn't do this ever again even if my own life was at stake.

 

Upwards to 21 years worth depending upon divorce agreement.......

 

Wow. Sounds like a carbon copy of my relationship with my wife. We got hitched because she got pregnant with Elliott. We were heading down that road but we kinda moved up the time table a bit.

We also struggle with the 2 becoming 1 concept. I joke that we are 2 single folks that love each other and have entered into a monogamous relationship....for life. I think it works.

We sacrifice our individuality for our son and that's about it.

 

 

Sadly most people today think that is some sort of cliche, and before you know it they end up in divorce.

It's sad how half the people I know (same peer group/same age group) are divorced.

What really kills me is you can see people headed down the road for divorce, and then they go do something stupid like have a kid or two...thinking it was going to make things better.....turns out they divorce with 1 or 2 young kids.

.....and the kids are devastated.

 

^^^^

This is true.

I know a guy that may be heading down the path of divorce an he has 3 kids. I am not an advocate for staying together for the kids, but don't have them if you are contemplating divorce.

 

In about one month we will celebrate 41 years of marriage. My wife is an angel and gets most of the credit. Has it been easy, hell no but nothing is. I'm much happier with her than I would have been without.

For those that have patience and are willing to share and compromise, things can get much better.

 

I certainly understand the sacrifice that military members make. But I somewhat disagree with you Ken, just because I was a military spouse. My wife was in the Navy for five and a half years, deployed once. I never once thought about cheating on her. I just couldn't wait until she got home.

We talked almost every night, and there were a couple of people listening in on our conversations when she did call that probably could have killed themselves from the way we talked lovingly to eachother.

 

Congrats to you, good to hear you sum it up so well

 

It's definitely possible, but deployments and just the general culture of military life can make marriage very difficult for some people.

 

Marriage is probably the hardest thing you're going to encounter in your life because it is suppose to last your whole life. With that being said, the world does not look at marriage the same way anymore.....take for example the website Ashley Madison.com where it guarantees you'll have an affair or your money back.....where has the morals of this world gone to?

 

^^^

I agree that the world don't look at marriage the same as it did 50 years ago. My response to the is....if you let the rest of the world dictate how you treat your spouse then you were probably going to fail in the first place.

What does the guy down the block that is using AM have to do with me? The morals of the people around you may have eroded, but why does that mean that your morals need to be compromised?

I think that almost all of us in our life will be faced with a situation where we can all choose to cheat. I still think it is up to the individual and his/her spouse to make that decision. Today, and every day since I have been with my wife, I can say that I would not even think of it. Tomorrow and all the days after....I don't see a reason why I would ever want to.

 

I know a few married military couples that have great relationships. The real binder through all their deployments is the other spouse is familiar with military life (e.g. father was in the service or they were / currently in the service) and their relationship is mature.