Exactly. I'm a big believer in being honest and putting the cards on the table. She should give him the benefit of the doubt until they have a REAL conversation about it... on in which he knows that she's serious. If he's cheating or lying, she'll probably be able to tell.

 

It's obvious that she doesn't turn him on anymore. That's probably why he turns to hot chicks in mags and movies.

 

*sigh* As I said in the first post, she talked to him about it a few weeks ago and he told her he had been distracted but that things would be better from now on, and in the ensuing 2 weeks, they have done it one time, and that was the night of their conversation about it.

She doesn't really want to say anything else to him cuz she doesn't want pity-sex, the "ok i'll stuff you up just to shut you up" variety, since the last time was obviously for that purpose.

Haha she said it was like that movie the Break Up... she doesn't actually want him to wash the dishes, she wants him to WANT to wash the dishes.

 

Did he say what was distracting him the first time?

 

 

Maybe she should get a brazilian wax and sit in the nude next to her hubby while he's watching the tube. Then when he gets all like "why are you tryin to initiate shit?" and she can be like "Im not doing anything hon, im just watching the game." Then she can start licking on a lolipop all seductively and shit why sitting there. Then after, say 90 seconds, he'll say "Alright want do you want?" and then she should say "I'll let you put in my butt." If that doesnt solve it, then i dont know what.

 

If he doesn't go for ^^^^ , he:

1) whacks it too much
2) is fucking another woman
3) Enjoys Sausage to Snatch

Personally, I think this guy is a dude-fucker

 

Work issues; he's trying to get a new job or some shit.

Still doesn't explain the MONTHS of weirdness.

And besides, he apparently immediately forgot the epiphanic conversation they had that night, since it's been exactly the same since then.

FWIW, I'm pretty sure she explained exactly what her deal was... she's not one to mince words. I think she came to me because even the best advice has not worked; she's tried initiating sex, she's tried finding out what's wrong, she's tried walking around the house stark naked, she's lost weight, she acts interested in his interests, she listens to him when he talks, etc.

So in other words, they have had a "real" talk and he either lied to her, or he's gay, which means he lied to her, because he told her he was distracted and tired and that's she's perfectly attractive and he loves her and blah di blah blah blah.

Okay, I just told her she's fucked and she agrees with me. She's going to try the "talking to him" approach one more time. I'll post results tomorrow, I suppose.

 

It's possible... he does have an awful lot of shoes...

 

Well if he is not cheating, maybe he is distracted with work, does he have a 9 to 5 job or does he work late?

When your friend spoke to her husband about it the first time he said, he would be more attentive, and had sex that night. Maybe she needs to put a weekly schedule together indicating nights they should have sex?

 

.

 

 

Women can fake anything.

 

I dont know what to say, maybe she has a bad pussy odor and maybe her coochie is too hairy. I really need to see pics. you can black her eyes out to cover up her identity, but we need to be the judge of whether or not she's attractive.

 

That's really not necessary... he's been with the girl for 5 years and he married her... regardless of whether YOU GUYS find her attractive, HE did at one time in his life, and found her attractive enough to take the steps to make sure she'd be with him forever, attractive or not.

And the same thing goes for her coochie odor or hair... they're married; it's not hard to tell your spouse that they should be more careful with the grooming... you don't have to worry about them not calling you from embarrassment.

 

Hey, im just tryin to help.

 

LOL I know, I'm just saying... that was my logical reasoning for not providing pics of my best friend on a message board.

 

tell her to start playing with herself around him. Technically she's not trying to initiate anything with him... she's just getting herself off since he wont.

 

 

Actually she did tell me that's she has actually straight pulled out her vibrator and gone to town, laying in bed next to him, and he just goes to sleep, doesn't offer to help or ask her what she's doing or why or anything.


That was a weird conversation... lol

 

He's probably just stressed from work and/or she bores him....simple. Why do women make it seem more complicated then it really is????

 

Possibly solutions:

A. Break his hands
B. Hire a PI(you, because if she doesn and it turns out to be nothing the trust is gone)
C. Spike food with Nexium
D. Spike food with Viagra
E. Seek professional help

Mike

 

See, I don't think she's really trying to make it complicated, it's just that it's been several months now and frankly, it's WEIRD that a guy would not only not initiate on his own, but then turn her down every time she initiates, yet tell her everything's fine. Obviously everything's NOT fine, because we all know that men are animals. When a man suddenly turns into a non-animal, it's weird.

 

that's hot

 

There is something really rotten in Denmark. This is one step from the wife's "do me" atom bomb, which is pulling out another woman and going to town. I'd say they need some serious counseling because it's pretty obvious they aren't working it out on their own.

Mike

 

do they still get along together? like laugh and have good conversations and do fun things together?

i know that when you've been with someone for a long time, sometimes you do kinda get into that phase where you go through quiet times and maybe get a little self-involved... but a big indicator is how he acts with her outside the bedroom. it's not even that he acts "cool" or "aloof" but maybe they need to start spending some time together that will take the pressure off of sex...

or
A) he doesn't love her anymore/find her attractive
B) he's cheating
C) he's depressed and hiding it well

or of course,
D) needs some chemical help from viagra

edit: taking pressure off of sex, if he thinks that she's CONSTANTLY thinking about it, it probably won't put him in the mood....not that i know what will, from the sounds of it

 

Unfortunately.....variety is the spice of life....cracker with no salt = marriage sex

 

That's why I said that he might be upset with her about something and may not even realize it himself. Getting "out of sync" in the bedroom isn't all that unusual, and it's often because there is something emotional under the surface. It may not even have to do with her directly. If it does happen, it's also unrealistic to expect that everything will snap back to normal. He may have been embarassed by the first "talk" and now it's harder to initiate. Still... if she's doing it and he's saying no. That's still the part I don't get.

 

He's checked out emotionally and substituted something for his wife (mentally). He needs to see a therapist.

 

Like others have said, I doubt he's cheating since he wouldn't be wacking it more than normal if he was cheating. He's probably just not that into her anymore but he still wants to preserve the sanctity of marriage

 

^Doubt he would drop out of the game this quick, and unless she was absolutly hideous, horny 25 year old>

I think it is safe to assume there is some sort of psycological thing which has come up in his life which could include:
- :Teh Ghey:
- Secretly being diagnosed with something(maybe something he doesnt want to pass on to her until its either cleared up or ever...)
- Suspecting her of something
- Noticing lost feelings
- Having feelings for someone else
- Complete and total insanity

All these can be solved/explored by simply shipping him to a shrink, tailing him, or getting him to talk to you/her about whatever it is.

Mike

 

Sounds like they got married at a "relatively" early age. Guys don't really "mature" until their late 20s, if not 30s. Maybe he realized that he finds other Pootang to be more exciting/arousing than his current spouse, but is too nice of a person to go out and get some?

Hence, the persistent choking of the chicken.

Btw, you mentioned that she lost weight. How much and what was her starting point?

 

probably been said before, but sounds like someone is hiding in the closet. :ghey:

 

Maybe he's not a man at all!!

 

...is it possible that he's addicted to porn? Sometimes a guy can become so relying on being turned on by the... typical slutty chicks he sees in porn... then he'll look at his wife... who he loves, as a wife... but NOT a slutty chick... sometimes it's just not gonna do it... Yes he loves his wife... but he's not used to be being turned on by her... and if he's somewhat religious... that might play a factor... cause of guilt... (as in... you just don't do things like that to your loving wife)


...just a theory

 

I'm not sure if this has been answered already, but is she a fat pig?

 

It looks like this guys wife would be willing to become one of those slutty porn chicks for some cawk

Mike

 

you say it's been a few months since their sex life took a dive... so, what happened a few months ago? there has to be a specific incident that made it stop. i'm thinking affair... but i don't know for sure.

also... she should start going out on weekly dates with him. get them out of the house, and doing something spontaneous that they both like and get back in the mood. and she should initiate! has she tried initiation at all? b/c sometimes a guy just needs a little nudge. if he's the one always having to ask, he might have just given up.

btw, any kids anywhere? that could have an effect...

 

that's that stupid madonna/whore theory, and it's a bunch of bullshit.

 

tell her to wake him up with a bj...

or maybe have her watch porn (or gay porn) around him and see what his reaction is...