You need to reproduce/clone/something.

To answer the other question, I'm not insisting that there's another woman, but it raises an eyebrow. I hate to just assume a guy I have never met may be cheating, but why would you suddenly no longer wish to have sex? If there's an issue with the 2 of them, some people usually try a little something different...not discontinue the act.

 

caliadria, called and he said her man has been dipping his bread stick in someone else's chowder.

 

trust me impromptu bj should solve most marital problems. Its shows the hubby that the wife is willing to shut the fuck up and do her job. And the husband shows he understands by stuffing her with the cawk. It should solve most problems, unless there's infidelity about. But in this situation it seems like something else is going on. I mean what man turns down a blow job, unless she's really bad at it.

 

Lets narrow it down. There are 3 possibilities here.

1) He's gay.
2) He's waking off too much.
3) He's cheating.

Sounds like its number 2 from the limited information provided. So, find the source of his affection. PC, porn vids or mags and tell her to do what ever those sources are doing for him.

EDIT: But that doesn't take turning down a BJ into account. Yup, he's dipping his breadstick somewhere else.

 

4.) He doesn't find her sexually attractive anymore.

 

He might also be stressed out.

 

Well fuck, I can't just tell her that. She'll have an f-ing nervous breakdown on the phone and I have shit to do today! ARGH.

 

to the idea there.

As for the turning down part...you're crazy. There was 1 I dated a long time ago that wasn't the best at head, but I'd never turn her down. She was actually glad that I talked to her during it and told her what I liked and got her doing it better in no time. What works for one may not work for all. I love going down on women, but they all don't like it the same way.

And that's your KB TMI segment for the day.

 

Good point. Cali, we'll need pics to help you any further.

 

I cannot recall a time in the last 8 years I've been with my wife where I turned down any action, unless I was very sick or in deep sleep mode. He's either bored, cheating, or both. Maybe gay too, but thats a whole other story. If he is still pleasuring himself, he is bored, IMO

 

He's either switching teams or peeing in someone else's pool. Either one is bad news.

25-26 year olds should be going at it several times per week. They are at a 60 years+ rate.

 

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We're approaching a D&R record.

 

She's probly already considered that anyway. She can't be dumb enough to not have.

 

Best advice in the history of D&R

 

I'm going to blame this on her because i have no fucking clue what would make a guy do this assuming he's still attracted to her.

It sounds like she's sitting there waiting for him to make the move. Has she tried initiating like btsilver suggested? It sucks having to be the one to get things started every single time. Especially if it takes a lot of foreplay to get her in the mood and that isn't his thing.

Maybe she's a dead fish or extremely needy in bed. If sex with her has become boring or a chore it's a hell of a lot easier to just jerk off.

No matter what's going on they've got some communication problems. If he thinks she's a lame fuck he should tell her, and he shouldn't have a reason not to. He might be afraid to offer constructive criticism for fear of retaliation ("honey, you should come work out with me tomorrow, it'd be fun." "Are you saying i'm fat?! I HATE YOU ")

 

I think he's cheating too. I dunno what to tell her... it's like, I like to think that most of my friends are good people with good intentions, and it kills me to think that this guy is cheating on my friend; they've only been married for like 8 months.

Crazy, I don't think he's stressed... or if he is, it's over something in the relationship, because what kind of outside stress is there that you can't tell your WIFE about? That's kind of the point of having one of us... sexual and emotional tension release. And he's not using her for either.

Yeah, ... it is kinda obvious what the answer is. Now what do I tell her? Or should I just stay out of it and continue playing dumb? This is one of my best friends...

 

The bottom line is she just needs to step things up anotch to get his attention. Another option is to let him shit on her chest.

 

truer words have not been spoken.

 

Okay your response is good and very well thought out but you must have missed the part where I said he gets pissed at her if she tries to initiate anything.

Also, if anything, she's lost weight recently.

Edit: The point of my sentence above is to ask you to re-think your excellent statement with the idea that she is not waiting around for him. I'm very interested to see what you have to say about that.

 

^


And how long were they together before they got married?

 

Good point fdl, a cleveland steamer might be her only option out of this shitty mess.

 

I wouldn't say he's cheating, especially if he still jerks off. Why get it from one when you can get it from two?

 

Eh, four or five years? I'm not sure. Keep in mind that he's NEVER been a huge hornball, although he was always hornier than THIS.

 

Best advice in the history of D&R

 

Or better yet, has he experienced any kind of shock to his mental state lately like losing a job, received a poor performance review at his job, or something similar? Is he under a lot of stress for one reason or another?

 

Well fuck, there goes all my hard work.

Something is up with him. You said he's religous. Perhaps he's suddenly feeling guilty about sex? Whatever the reason he needs to tell her.

 

This is what I want to know also

 

He is either cheating, angry at her and not expressing it, or he is depressed and shutting her out. I am guessing that he is cheating.

 

That would lead me to believe he is gay

 

Maybe he's wacking to gay porn...

Either that or he's cheating... and don't give me that religious bs, or I'll have to bring up the jimmy swaggart, etc examples...

 

How long did you say they've been together before they were married? [edit: never mind - answered above while I was typing] It's not unusal for things to slow down when you've been married for a long time. I'm sure there are some out there that act like rabbits after 10+ years, but most people settle into a routine. I know some couples about my age that rarely "do it" at all anymore. Yikes!

Two things bother me about this case though: it was not a gradual slow down, and he actually turns her down sometimes. Like others have said, most guys won't turn it down if she's in the mood. My guess? If he's serious about being faithful, maybe he's got an online affair going, and he has some idealized other girl on his mind. Either that, or maybe he's upset at her for some reason and it's making her seem less attractive for some reason.

 

I don't get why you guys think he's cheating if he's still jerking off. If i could get it from two places instead of one, i would.

She could try "jumping in" when he's jerking off? His response should tell her something. But really this is all stupid bullshit. They need to be able to talk to each other about what's going on.

Edit: Maybe he cheated and got herpes or something, and doens't want to give it to her?

 

Maybe he cannot perform well and he thinks he might as well do it himself? I dont know. Has she asked him btw?

 

Oh, yeah... depression or illness could be good reasons too...

 

Does she work or just sit around all day thinking too much? (it happens)

 

They've either been together nearly 5 years including 8 mos of marriage, or nearly 6. They've been having sex since the first date.

Online affair is a real possibility, actually. Like I said, I don't see him physically cheating with anyone, just because of who he is, plus he spends most of his time with her so I don't know when he'd have the chance to cheat, but an online affair is much more likely...

Again, what do I say to her? Should I just play the "maybe he's stressed" card? Should I suggest that she try to talk to him to figure it out, or is that likely just to piss him off? Let's say you were in a funk and were stressed out or bored with your girl or whatever, what would you want to be done in order to fix it? Nothing? Anything?

 

Has she tried initiating a serious talk with the hubby?

 

I would just be honest with her and list out all of the possible reasons that we mentioned and let her come to her own conclusion about which one it really is.

 

Maybe he's just gone insane and needs to be admitted.

 

Tell her to force it out of him.