I was with a few friends tonight an lo and behold one of our friends gets rejected quite a few times during the whole night. This friend uses the analogy of Wiley coyote when it comes to women. He can try all he wants but he always ends up failing and falling face first. Yet he continually gets up and tries again.

To be honest I probably would have given up; but moving on to my main question, how do you handle rejection? Do you brush yourself off and try some more or do you grab a beer and sit down or do you just head home?

Just to make it interesting, here's a scenario that happened to my buddy tonight. He (friend A) walks up to a girl and introduces himself. She replies with her name and the he proceeds to ask her to dance. She says she's tired (she's sitting down by herself) and he says okay and tries to small talk with her. She doesn't seem very responsive and he lets her be alone. A minute later friend B (from our same group) walks over and repeats the EXACT same thing to her and she agrees to dance. If you were friend A, how would you feel? How would you deal with that rejection and friend B?

 

Yes, it would hurt a bit, but I would take it in stride. Perhaps I wasn't her type. I don't expect all women to be my type, so why should I expect myself to be a type for all women?

 

 

Friend B is an ass.


I deal with rejection by not asking.
Wait, is that why I'm single?

 

Rejection is part of life. If you don't know how to handle it, you may never be successful in life. If you get rejected, live on. I got rejected a few times in HS (mostly because I was a jackass) and in College even though I ended up dating the "most popular" girl. They're plenty of girls out there. If all else fails, go gay.

 

Do you expect him to just go back to the corner of the room and cry?

I don't see any harm in trying to chat up another girl after one rejects him. Just like the first woman may not have been attracted or interested in him, he may find another person he is more interested in too. ....Just like going on a few dates - you don't know whether there's mental chemistry until you at least have a short conversation. He may find out it's a good thing the first few women turned him down because the one he meets later on in the night might be a much better match. ....It all plays out for a reason.

 

Isn't there some type of rule amongst friends about trying to pick up on the same girl?

 

you guys are shitty wingmen lol

 

Form a plan, backup your wingman, watch your six.

 

Rejection really is an important part of life. It's one of the ways that we learn to improve on our social skills. The lesson is only painful if we hold too much on a first introduction.

If we bomb a job interview, we try another way. There WILL be another job.

There's no way that all of us have the same taste in potential partners. Just because I may find someone kinda' cute, means in no way that I'm entitled to their time or attention if they are not interested. No big deal. Just try again somewhere else.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I certainly know that my way liberal views just won't work for everyone. The same goes for looks.

Yeah, wingmen shouldn't hit on the same person. Bad wingman.

 

The most mature way possible, of course. By that I mean saying "Whatever you're a bitch anyways" and walking away.




Meh, for me, I always take rejection pretty lightly. I mean, I can understand it's pretty awkward trying to reject someone you're not interested in. If you do it too lightly, they might think you're playing hard to get or something. So I just accept that they're being blunt about it because they really want to get the point across.

Not to mention if I was getting hit on all night by a bunch of scuzzy women, then a not-so-bad-but-still-not-my-type woman comes along, I'd probably be running a little low on patience and would probably be a little bit brash with my rejection.

 

I remind myself that I can't win them all.

 

I think if Friend A is mad at Friend B he's taking himself too seriously. It's not like he lost his future wife or something. He talked to a girl and she wasn't interested. What happens after that shouldn't really matter. Yeah, maybe Friend B is a bad wingman, but really if you're out with five of your buddies and you make a rule that you can't approach a girl that turned one of you down, you're probably in for a long lonely night.

If I were friend A getting rejected all the time, I'd have to think about whether I was aiming out of my league all the time, or if I wasn't making myself presentable enough. When I was single, I never gave much thought to the women that weren't into me. I focused on the ones that were. And sometimes that ratio was 25:1 (or worse).

 

Don't think Friend B should've approached the girl if he knew A tried on her already, but if I were Friend A it would only bother me a little bit. Friend A should be busy trying out the next one.

I'm kind of shy at big social events. Striking up conversations with strangers isn't my thing at all, so I probably wouldn't be able to get to the rejection part.

 

Friend B is a lousy wingman. thats all I can say.

 

Is this the same friend (friend A) that you posted about in your last thread?

 

It's in stride. Dating is pretty much like job-hunting...you're going to get your no's and your yeah's...


So, take it in stride...and as any employment, I'd suggest not putting your entire emotional investment into it because they just may not work out no matter how great the first few days/weeks are...

 

I've been rejected by every woman I've come across for the past six years .. at some point, I just stopped trying. Rationalized it all by telling myself that I should put myself first above all else. If I get in a relationship, guess where all the focus is gonna go? On her, barely ever me.

 

Nope, I just like to use Friend A and Friend B just for simplification vs. their names which can get a tad confusing. Everyone besides me had some liquor to drink Friend A had maybe a beer or 2, B had quite a few drinks so I doubt he was in his right senses.


That's def. not the way to think. When I was younger I was constantly rejected by women. I wasn't the cutest guy ever, was pretty shy and could barely hold a conversation with a woman without getting nervous and trailing off. To simply put it, like my buddy does, I was like Wiley Coyote with women. Adding onto that, I had a few possessions that drew more attention to themselves than me.

Lets just say for example that I had a diamond rolex (still don't own one yet). But I became known to some women/girls/ladies (around college time) that I would meet with as the kid with the Diamond Rolex rather than my name. I'd have people come up to me and say hey rolex kid how are you? Trust me, I felt horrible; people knew me for what I had rather than what I was.

But trust me, at least it's getting your foot in the door. At least you can get them to know you and you can get to know them. At the least you'll know that they are really gold-diggers or not a real person that should interest you. If anything you should think of it as a favor so you don't waste your time. Does it hurt, yes; but rather than dwelling on it you move on and try again with someone else.

You won't find the right person for you right away; sometimes fate has it that we do find them close by but other times we must look for a while before we find the perfect companion. Also with any meaningful relationship, both of you need to put in 50% effort towards each other, it can't be where the focus is only on one person or it's split 30:70.

mystikk, if you don't try you'll never get a chance and you might pass by the right one.

 

True players get chose.

 

yea never stop trying.

I have some friends that try hard, and a lot. There are some that get rejected and get back out there and get girls, and some that get rejected again and again. The difference was that the guys who got girls didn't let rejection bother them, they just brushed it off and went on to the next one. The guys that keep getting rejected is the guys that keep thinking about that last rejection and then you think too much "OH SHIT IS THIS ONE GONNA REJECT ME TOO". You lose your confidence and girls can see that.


I am just talking about what I had noticed with a few people that I know

 

I don't get rejected, I reject

 

Only the insecure feel hurt. Not everyone is suppose to like you, same as you are not suppose to like everyone. We have our choices. I prefer honesty. So say no, rather than maybe. And move on. Take everything with a grain of salt and lots of smiles.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

I've got rejected only a few times in my life, and all for good reasons

 

There's also the other side of this argument; if you're trying too hard, women smell that desperation coming off of you and just run away screaming "lolno". I think women respond more to someone who seems to know how to take care of himself; something I lack. I have no income at the moment, live in a small-ass apartment, and I'm touching 300 pounds, even with years of physical activity. It's not that I've COMPLETELY given up, I just think I have to prove that I can take care of myself before I can take care of someone else.

 

^dude, are you going to CCM in nov? in SA?
if so, we're getting teh bitches in our acura's.

majofo is coming along, he'll bring a gaggle of hoes.

 

If you're going to chase skirt, be prepared for rejection. Don't take it personal, it's the only rule. If you're just out to make friends and meet new people, it should be a mutual gathering, not at a club.

You really can't kick off any real interest at a club other than what's going on under the skirt. If you want to approach a girl you need a wingman (cock blockee), and never go for a girl whose by herself.. that seems shady to me.


Don't hate the playa.. hate the game.

 

I'm married sucka.. I only oggle the hoes . But I'm always here for the LuLz . Also, will be in Korea (Wedding) and LA (Thx) in Nov.

 

you're supposed to be my wingman and acknowledge that I was trying to cheer mystikkkkkk up.


you suck as a wingman.

 

... didn't even read his post.

What's up Mystikk??.. shit sucka.. you need swag. You're right though, women can smell it. Taking care of yourself is part of your confidence. You don't need a lot of money or be able to fit some skinny ass jeans for women to take interest.

I have been a wingman once since being with my girl, and she was with us. A buddy of mine had no confidence at all.. seriously. We were downtown at Prague and he saw these two lovely ladies, but no one was willing to take the hit for him. So with my girl's approval I broke the ice and was the designated cock blockee. They tried the shoulder turn ignore, didn't hear you ploy with my boy but I was able to split the inner circle.

Turns out these girls worked at Hooters.. I told the girl (cock blocker black belt) I was in a relationship and she was still mad cool. I have no idea what my buddy said but by the end of the night, I parted ways and he partied with both of them.. he ended up staying the night at their place but he said nothing happened.. sucker. My girl didn't like how easy I turned it on and has since turned my wingman switch off. I could feel her eyes sear my soul with disgust..

 

haha lemme know if I need to roll solo

 

Everyone gets rejected. I didn't nail every girl I hit on, didn't get every job I applied for and didn't score every time I had the ball. Just life.

When I was single I would sometimes get bent out of shape when I was rejected, but as I got older it didn't bother me as much anymore. And truth be told....when I stopped letting it get to me I had a better track record with women. I think I just got rid of the pressure I was putting on myself.

First thing is your friend needs to recognize his limitations. If a girl shot him down and then went with the next guy and this happens a lot then your buddy is doing or saying something that turns off girls. he needs to figure out what that is and change it.

He's got to keep at it. Wiley Coyote is a good way of looking at it. He can't give up. Tell him that if he hits on 20 girls all he needs is one to say YES.

Lastly....GET A BETTER WING MAN. Friend B better had a good reason to stab Friend A in the back on this one.

 

Alcohol.

 

Works better if you already know the girl or in a group.

 

Motherf-ckin werd

First off, trying to run game at the club is going to be a challenge. Every yahoo with a d-ck is thinking the same thing and one is basically swimming with the sharks. Just trying to cold call a honey is difficult, if you don't care about rejection and you hit on 20 to 30 girls, chances are you eventually will succeed. Especially after 2 AM when you can choose from the low hanging fruit. As my boy Thomas says, "It's all about the denominator" if one is just trying to get tail.

I never hit on a girl unless I get some sign first. This I refer to as "read", i.e. getting read from a honey. Her expression of eye contact is an invitation for me to strike up a convo. Some girls are stalker types staring at me, those crazy ones I just avoid unless I'm bored. But the hottie who shyly steals glances at you while you are ordering Jaeger bombs at the bar is the one with higher return on investment.

Don't freak them out, asking a girl to dance within 5 minutes of meeting her isn't always the best choice. Your boy needs to learn to read body language, you can readily tell if a woman is interested or just bored. Having a wingman is key, the best situation is two on two IMO. Definitely takes the pressure off a solo mission but every situation is different.

If the girl is cool then talk story with her for a bit and get her digits. Play it cool and give her some space, tell your you need to go back to your friends. If she really digs you, she will seek you out later in the evening. Remember that the hottie at the club has already been hit on by a dozen other yahoos, several of which are probably richer, better looking, and cooler than yourself. The last thing you want to do is go all aggro on her, then you just relegated yourself to the rest of the yahoos.

 

Doctor Rick, I just want to say that its an honor that you always quote me.

Remember guys, for more true player tips, PM me.

 

No, I meant I think that's why Friend B went after the girl Friend A struck out with.

 

I'm down for the gaggle , dunno what the CCM is though.

// edit: Oh, CupCake Meet, duh. I'll be there, of course.

Yeah, swag game is off track for now, but no skinny jeans for me.

 

The force is strong in you young Padawan

 

That's what he said.

 

DICK MOVE - that is why Friend B went after the girl Friend A struck out with.