I was talking with some friends and we were discussing the sex timeline when dating. Meaning how long after you start dating before you can reasonably expect sex or feel like bailing if you don't get it. I know there are a lot of variables, but just give me a ballpark on how long you are willing to wait before you GIVE OR RECEIVE sex...so women don't be afraid to answer, we are all adults here...ok, kinda...

FYI, I think within a month if you are spending time with the person. It can be longer/faster, but I really think within a month...if she wants me that night, cool, but I wouldn't expect it from a person with serious potential to go that night...she has to play the I'm not a slut card first...

On with the show...and give REAL answers...lol...

 

There's no average answer. It's whatever the couple decides and feels comfortable with, or how they prioritize certain aspects of their relationship. Some people need a timeline and push for it while others let things unfold as they may.

 

That's a great non-answer.

 

^ Obviously because I don't believe in a set timeline...not like some men here who bail after not gettin' any after the second date, and not like some of the Posters here who are waiting until marriage. IMO, it's just whatever the two people involved decide is right for them in that relationship. Sorry for not marking it on the calendar.

 

I predict no female on here will give an honest, short and clear answer. And, they will not explain one night stands. They will just shame other women for being "slutty" and not worth being "serious" with (even though sluts serve as market equalizers that bring the value of pussy down a few notches to more reasonable levels, they should be commended). A female on here may say, "one month" - but that's fabricated and it all goes out the window if the right guy comes along.

I predict all males will say "pretty much as soon as she lets me have sex with her".

 

"decide is right for them in that relationship" = the woman "holding out" until she maximizes her potential return, whether it be emotional or otherwise. unless a guy is that much out of touch with his penis (beta/omega), then he will have sex immediately without regard. women do the choosing.

if women would spread their legs without any sort of filter, and men had all the choice in the matter, men would walk around town with their dicks in their hands.

 

It all comes down to the girl....there is no set time IMO. If shes down for the get down, you're gonna get laid.

 

Better be making out on first or second date. Sex by one month.

 

After the introduction.

 

I agree with what Amis said...thus the "have to play the I'm not a slut card first" in my original post...when really, men have no timetable. We would in fact, well, most of us, go without any type of predisposition to the nearest "fucking facility" (car, her house, my house) and do what comes natural...

I have met women on a date and fucked them or gotten bj's in my car that night. While that is not the norm, it is possible...I believe we are in the day and age where a woman can be turned on by a man and want to fuck his brains out and still retain redeemable qualities along with her single status...the best sex comes from women with no pretentious inhibitions who don't muddy the "fun" with the "fake" and relax and have a good time...

There may be no calendar Street Spirit, but there will also be no prolonged waiting period just for the sake of saving "face"...unless you give it (face)...thank God I meet a lot of women that have stepped into the new millenium where they know men judge that act not by how fast, but how good it is...

It's funny...I used to tell myself that I could never marry/date exclusively a chick who I fucked on the first date...one day I finally gave myself some credit as to why they did and never looked back...I still haven't married anyone who fucked me on the first date, but I am at least open to the idea now...now, I would still scrutinize the shit out of her for different reasons which I view are tantamount to longevity, but pussy ain't one of them (unless it's "tainted")...get in where you fit in...

 

30 days max. I cannot have a serious relationship without sex.

 

Oh yeah, and waiting until you are married is just subterfuge...

 

2 minutes. Do you need me to break it down for you?

 

ok. This is what I did. The relationship was fine and I could tell sex was a question of when. So, one day, I told her that I really want to 'be' with her and when she was ready, to let me know so I could plan a fun weekend away. That kind of took the tension away and made it easy. The following week, she gave me a grin and told me to plan the weekend away. It was fun and we were both nervous the day off.

I found a great hotel with a view of the Ocean and the bathroom opened to the bedroom. Breakfast was served in the room and we had a window seat where we sat for breakfast....

 

Hypothetical Question:

Would you be upset if another man from her past had succeeded in nailing her in his Camaro after only knowing her a couple hours and splashing his batter on her chest?

 

I think it's less about playing any "I'm not a slut" card than it is about getting to know a bit about your potential partner. I haven't been with very man men - I got married young to someone I was with for 13 years - so knowing what kind of slut a guy has been gives a smart girl (I'm not bringing morality into it Amis :P) some idea what her chances are of getting out of bed without a new life-long friend like the Herp.

 

 

I had a 3 date rule. If I didn't get head or pussy by the end of the third date she would be curbed.

 

Define a male slut please.

 

Could you miss the point a little more please? I'm not seriously labeling anyone, just saying that it's nice to have an idea how much discretion a partner has used in selecting his partners. You know how common STD's are. There's a reason for that.

I have no problem with anyone seeking sex with whatever partner for whatever duration. As with any choice in life, there are potential consequences. It sucks, but it's true. That was my only point.

If I know a bit about my partner, I can decide how much to trust him when he tells me he went for an AIDS test and it's negative. Jumping in the back seat at a club with someone I just met - Zero level of trust, zero knowledge of history. On both sides.

 

I'm not missing the point. I just want to know your definition of "male slut" so as to better understand how you find a man's sexual promoscuity equal to a woman's sexual promoscuity.

 

I don't really call anyone a slut seriously. I do occasionally call my brother a slut to his face, but it's usually when we're a couple of margaritas deep and he's telling me too much about his sex life. It's said with love. Mostly I just don't see how he does it. They throw themselves at him.

I don't know what you're trying to extract from me. If it's some kind of judgemental nonsense, you're not likely to get it. To each their own. I just don't want cooties. Which is why I'm not personally likely to jump straight in the sack with someone I've just met.

Which is not to say I haven't wanted to, or that I didn't jump my current bf as quickly as time and space would allow after the initial vacation where we met - during which I did NOT jump him. If we hadn't been separated by half the country for the next month and a half, it would likely (definitely) have been sooner. Just as soon as we both got our clean STD screens back. I felt quite a bit of trust in him very quickly. Could it be misplaced? Of course.

Dark wanted some female viewpoints. Mine aren't moral - they're practical. I like myself. I like my girl parts. I don't want them festering.

 

I agree. And certainly NOT before all the blood work comes back.

Terry

 

ok, here is an honest answer from a women. It 100% depends on how much time the couple is spending together. If you are only seeing each other once a week, a month would be too soon. If you are seeing each other everyday or have known each other for a while a month may be too long.

Men - If you find a woman who will sleep with you in the first few days is she really gf material?? imo NO she is prob doing the same thing with all the other men she meets...maybe even your brother, cousin, dad, uncle, who knows?

 

 

I think men or women who are after sex as a priority or believe it to be a foundational component of a relationship will have a timeline.

Men or women who have other things as the priority will go with the flow and proceed based on the person they are with. Could happen early, could happen later.

 

i used to put out on the first date...

 

I will push for it and take it as soon as it's granted.

And if there is still pushback after the 3rd or 4th serious date she's cooked.

Of course I have a gf so this is all a hypothetical, but this is the advice I give to my single boys.

 

So a man who is willing to sleep with you on the first date would be kicked to the curb because he carries the "slut virus"?

Women...let me pose this question/scenario to you since answering this topic has proven to be a bit of a conundrum for you. I will use wndrlst's point for reference:

You go on a date with a guy for the first time. He's handsome, great chemistry, charming, articulate, good sense of humor and a gentleman.

You talk about all kinds of things, and inevitably, sex. Of course you don't utter it out loud, but something smoldering inside of you prompts you to think that you would love to mount him and ride him til dawn...but you don't want to catch the slut virus. So you just talk about it, and since you are adults, you share different viewpoints amongst the two of you, of your sexual standards. Two of them being safe and practical.

Now he wants to bang the hell out of you, and you want to bang the hell out of him, but perception is not your friend. At some point in time during this posturing, you mention that a man doesn't have to have an extensive sexual resume to engage you, but his paperwork must be in order. So the night eventually ends, as all platonic nights must, and you go to your perspective cars and gift each other with the standard geek goodnight hug and kiss.

The guy has that paperwork thing reverberating in his skull, so he embarks on a quest that will end with him tasting your sugar walls, and the first stop on the list is the doctor for that paperwork. He secures it, heads home, and makes another date with you a few days later. In the interim, he inundates your mind and further piques your sexual curiousity by simply being himself and charmingly wetting the hell out of you with lengthy phone calls about shit you love to hear.

By and by comes date day #2...you meet up with him, night goes pretty much the same, except with an expanded conversation due to those lengthy late night phone calls that damnnear make you feel like you pissed on yourself! You go to the car to chill and relax a little...he says to you...I want to share something with you. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but rather I wanted you to know that should something ever happen between us, whenever it does rather, I am ready and you don't have to be afraid or nervous. Look in the glovebox...You open it, and the paperwork to sexual salvation is in the palm of your hand!...He says to you...Look at me, whenever, however, whatever, I am ready when you are. Take your time or take me now, but know when you do that I am clean!

Now...two questions:

1) Since you clearly want to screw him, and he has paperwork...can you screw him then on the second date since all aforementioned criteria has been met and WHEN it happens, as was said as well, doesn't make you a slut?

2) Will he be kicked to the curb because he wanted sex too fast, despite the numerous accolades previously bestowed upon him, and is he now no longer a candidate for "forever"?

Help a brother out...

 

I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant. And since you asked, any guy who goes around screwing anything that has a heartbeat and a vagina is a 'man slut'. Some people just aren't smart enough (or choose not) to put a swimsuit on before they jump in the pool, if you catch my drift.

 

Just to start off Im happily taken so this is all hypthetical but...

The fact that a guy would go that far out of his way to prove to me that hes okay is definently a good start towards getting it on. But it seriously depends what Im looking for out of the relationship if I want something serious Im still going to want to get to know the guy first. Alot of emotions sometimes get wrapped up in the whole act of sex so if your looking for something serious sex can seriously complicate things its hard to get to know eachother as a person and a significant other when your screwing like rabbits . Now if my intentions werent for a serious relationship screw it Im down nothing wrong with a little safe fun

As an example me and my current boyfriend waited about a month to a month and a half before we had sex we spent that time talking and hanging out drinking coffee for hours just getting to know eachother the rest just came easy.

 

i'll put out within minutes if needed/allowed

 

^ I like that answer. I think that is the truth. I think my average is 2 weeks. That is probably 3-5 dates and hours upon hours of phone conversation for serious stuff. For other stuff, well you know.

 

Darksom, you have such a way with words and colorful hypotheticals...



Just my quick
I don't think an actual time line/date quota can be place on the "right time" to jump in the sack with someone.

I think every pairing of two people is different. Some people have insane chemistry after a few dates; for others, the uptake may be more of a gradual connection process.

If you are looking for a relationship or at least considering one, I think people should make sure they are connected emotionally before determining whether or not they are connected sexually. At the end of the day, it is easier to create better chemistry in the bedroom after the fact than it is to create emotional chemistry after all is said and done.

 

First, no conundrum here. I answered it. Clearly, and not too concisely. As did the other womenfolk in the thread. You just didn't like the answers.

Let's see. Well, if it were so cold and clinical as you describe - I'd be running for the hills!

But I don't think that's your question. If I felt totally safe with a man and things played out a certain way, I still can't say whether I'd sleep with him so quickly. Honestly, probably not. And again, it's nothing to do with any kind of label, there's more to it for women, and I'm not even getting into the emotions thing.

I think you guys are missing another really big piece of this equation. I'll spell it out in big letters so there's no misunderstanding.














































P-R-E-G-N-A-N-C-Y

If a guy knocks up his one night stand, he can still dodge. He'll have to live with being a slimeball, but he can dodge. If a woman gets knocked up by her one night stand, she's got a kid. Now maybe she's willing to opt out by aborting or adopting it out, but either of those choices comes with huge emotional ramifications. Not to mention how her life would change if she decides to keep it.

SO, I posit that another reason many women are more hesitant to jump straight in the sack is because they want to know a man better regarding how he would respond should an unwanted pregnancy occur. So many of you act like sex is only complicated if we make it complicated, but that reeks of burying your head in the sand. Unless one of you is sterile, pregnancy is a risk. And even if without that, disease is a risk.

Again, that's not getting into the more intangible things like emotions. So, no. I'm not sure I trust my first impressions enough to jump in the sack on the second day I've known someone just because he's got his "papers." If I've known him a while, but only have been on one date...the scenario shifts.

 

I would ask why both of them are putting such a premium on sex and making such a big deal about it. Seriously, there is so much more to having and sustaining a relationship than sex that if you measure yourself by the quality and quantity of people you sleep with you're going to be very disappointed later in life.

Money will get you sex. Sluts will get you sex. A pleasant thought and a moment alone will get you an orgasm. These things are not hard to find and can be had by anyone at any time. None of these things can get you a relationship. A thousand of each can't get you one.

So my question to this whole thread is why is so much time, energy, planning devoted to the one thing that is a) quite trivial to get if that's all you wanted and b) will be available in abundance eventually in a relationship?

If you pursue a relationship, sex will eventually come along for the ride. If you pursue sex as the objective that's all you'll find. I don't think a lot of people get that.

I don't think the biggest risk being discussed here is disease, pregnancy or being a slut. I think it's finding yourself at age 38 having spent the last 20+ years chasing sex only to find out you haven't developed any skills in being in a relationship. And then they wonder what they're doing wrong and why they can't find anyone.

 

I couldn't agree more.

(Although there are some here who claim not to value relationships, which is why I've tried to keep it more logical, and less emotional - because they're quite argumentative and verbose.)

Not to mention there's sex, then there's Ican'tbelieveI'mprivilegedtotouchyouSEX. And not because the person you're with looks like Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford. You can't have the latter without developing the relationship. Hell, it's not a guarantee even with a well-developed relationship.

 

I wasn't trying to extract anything. I just didn't realize that your only concern, in this regard, was STD transmission. I was wondering if you were deluding yourself into believing some sort of double-standard fantasy when you used the words "male slut".

 

Nope, I've just always been somewhat measured in my actions. (Not just in relationships.) Too much experience watching people I'm close to suffer major consequences.

 

Depend on what you are looking for. Relationship - whenever they are ready. Sex - the 2nd-3rd date.