when you engage into a relationship with someone, how long does it take before you get bored and is it just a phase?

i've been in a relationship for 8 months now and everything has been going really well. only problem is that she goes to school an hour away from me so we can only see each other once a week. sometimes longer when she comes home for the weekend. i think i think our relationship is going great and i have no reason to end it because she's practically a winner. however, i always tend to get bored after 5-6 months into a relationship. i've been noticing that our phone conversations are shorter, we don't text each other as often, and don't go out on dates as much anymore. is this just a phase i'm going through and should i just ride it out? i hope it is because i really want it to work between me and her.

thanks for all the future input, guys.

 

Well, the decrease in phone calls/texts/dates could be a indication, but I wouldn't make any rash assumptions. From past experience, making quick assumptions always got me into trouble, but that's just me. If she goes to school an hour away from you what are you still doing in the area. Are you attending a 4 year university or a public college. She might be busy with schoolwork. But assuming you're both the same age, a person who would be a freshman in college wouldn't have much work to begin with so it could raise a few questions.

I'm not sure if I can really help you out buddy. Situations like these are quite frustrating, as my ex's went to schools in different states and even my lady now, goes to school in Canada while I live in the States (no problems with us and she even flies down to come see me). Long distance (although an hour is not that far away) for a kid who's 18, is pretty tough. I don't blame ya.


If it were me, I'd just ride it out. Or just bring up a few questions to the lady when she's back. If the distance between you grow further and further apart (less phone calls to none) I'd definitely start asking questions or just simply take a hint. I'm no expert in dating, but I'll let some of these "highly regarded" gentlemen who browse this general area look over your situation.

 

Where? I can bring over some welcome in the neighborhood cookies next time I'm close.

All jokes aside, I think it's the distance if anything that makes you feel the way you do. With time and experience, I've come to learn that long distance relationships are often a reason for a couple to become distant from each other simply because you don't see each other on a daily basis. My suggestion is maybe, to try new things instead of the traditional movie/restaurant/bowling activities, maybe walk, picnic or anything that will bring you closer again. That's all that comes to mind...

 

I got concerned when my g/f started blowing me off every weekend to hang out with other people, that's how I knew she was starting to get bored. I thought mine was going great to up until the last three weeks, I still don't know what I am going to do.

 

son /\/\/\ my ex of two years started to do this the last week after she was on top of me for 3 weeks saying how she likes me and wants to be with me, and now i can't get a hold of her and it's irritating the shit out of me.

 

I know exactly how you feel, didn't eat or sleep for an entire weekend. This girl was all over me then totally ignored me for no reason.

 

spend more time with her. Visit her every other weekend; dont be lazy.

 

About 5 days...

 

Are you bored or do you just don't find the relationship as exciting as it used to anymore?

If you are already bored, then that's not a good sign considering you guys have only been together for 8 months. With the right person, you should not be bored at all. But if you say things are just not as exciting as they were in the past, then you should not worry too much about it because that does happen when the courting or honeymoon phase is over.

Now you have to remember that relationship just don't work magically, you have to exert effort in making it last. If you noticed that phone conversations have shortened and dates have lessened, then do something about it. Take more time to talk and plan enjoyable activities and trips. Oh, and one more thing, don't ever stop flirting!

 

OP - sounds like the distance is taking a toll on the relationship.

A couple of questions:
1. Are the phone conversations shorter because one of you isn't as talkative or is it both of you being busy and cut them short?
2. When she is in town or you visit her, is your time together still enjoyable or does it drag like the conversations?
3. Are you making an effort or are you expecting her to do more?

In all honesty, it is very difficult to keep a long distance relationship alive - and even more so when you are so young and in college. People tend to grow apart and meet other people who are going through the same things and are closer.

This isn't necessarily the case, but you have to keep both eyes open and try to evaluate the situation as objectively as possible. You should also ask some of your friends you hang with - especially if you hang out as a group with her - to see what their take is.

Sasha - Nothing against the new avatar, the the previous one was much more mesmerizing.

 

after I got the goods I used to get bored

 

thanks for all the input guys. i really appreciate it.

Suparookie: i do see her every weekend. the weekends when she can't come home, i drive up to see her for a few hours.

sasha: i can't really give an answer to your question. i'm only 19 and still pretty damn young. it's the time of my life right now to go out and explore everything, right? however, i actually want to put full effort into this relationship. if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. right now, i guess i want to go out and explore because there are A LOT of girls right now in college. i still want to settle down with one girl at the same though.

moeronn:

1. our phone conversations are shorter because both of us have pretty busy schedules with school and work. at the end of the day, we talk but have to end it short because both of us have to get some rest for the next day.

2. i would say our time is enjoyable.. i don't dread it when i spend time with her. but lately, it's just been out to eat and then go home and watch some tv.

3. i honestly don't know. i make time to talk and i make time at the end of each week to come and spend time with her.



my break is over and i have to get back to work. thanks again for all the input guys!

 

Ahhh... I thought you were getting hints from her that she was drifting apart. But it sounds like you want to expand your horizons. If that's the case, then you're going to need to be honest with her (to a point) and just break it off.

 

Video chat. Get naked. Record. Post. Her only.

 

well let's see, from my experience now, I've been with my girl for 9 months and she still wants to see me every day or almost everyday when she can and i can. i still take her out, and she still likes to plan things out for us to do on the weekend. the fact that you don't text each other as much is a sign (IMO). I have talked to or been with girls in which this is the case, as much as you like a girl you notice that either you just stop "feeling it" or you just get tired of her and don't even feel like calling or texting. To me, it started becoming an annoyance to text a certain or call her or even text back or return a call.

in this case, it seems this is happening,. but on the other end. the girl is getting tired of you, or just not feeling it. if i were you I'd talk to her about this and tell her that things don't feel the same as when you guys started. if you really like/love someone, each time you see them and spend time with them you should realize you love/like more and more. well that's just my

hope it helps!

also, the whole phone conversations being shorter due to schedules and such shouldn't matter, some people don't care and if you are having a good conversation you keep it going although you will feel it the next morning when you wake up tired and stuff, but still.

 

Um.. been with your girl 9 months? What happened to your Bank Girl buddy?

 

shhhhhh.........

and oh yea,,bank girl..had wayyyyyy too much going on. i dont know if i told you guys her dad had cancer and was in and out of the hospital. well he passed away last month! i gave my condolences and she said thanks and said he was at rest. havent talked to her since..and yep been with my girl for 9 months!

 

I raise you 5 and a chock full of

 

actually...no, but you always seemed to have a smart ass remark to say.

and what's bs??

 

You must excuse me, it seems to be my day to get on everyone's case.

 

mmm i'm used to it from the bank girl thread

 

depends on the amount you see them; i got bored of 1 girl i dated in 2 days...met her at a freshman party (i was a freshman then); she stayed around for 2 days didn't go back to her place, and i finally just kicked her out of my room...and continuously avoided her for the next 4 years

but on the norm i usually kind of freak out if the relationship gets to the 3 month mark; then the ball is in the girls court to do something or let me freak out and dump her;

 

good to hear. I would suggest you explore your other options as well. College times are great times! You'll definitely remember it.

 

I get bored w/ my boyfriend all the time; we don't hardly go out on dates anymore and there just aren't butterflies anymore. You have to figure out if you want the butterflies that you get in the beginning or if you'd rather be in it for the long run. I started dating him when I was 18 and we're still dating now that I'm 22 and have graduated. I understand the whole wanting to see what else is out there, but weigh your options, and do keep in mind that if you decide to let her go, she may not come back. Yes, college is about having fun, but it's also about preping for the rest of your life.

 

I doubt an 18 year old wants to settle down and get married.

 

Don't tie yourself down. My friend dated this girl since sophomore year in HIGH SCHOOL and is still dating her 2 years after college. She is clingy as fuck and never lets him out of her sight. She is still in school but she demands that they carpool to her school and his work just so they could always be together. She even goes to work with him and just sits around at a Starbucks all day when she doesn't have class. It's fucking ridiculous.

If its not working now, don't do it. You have 4 years ahead of you to find better looking girls. The last 4 years you've been conditioned to believe that is the best you can get, but unless you look like Igor, you've got plenty of beautiful women waiting for you in college. Don't go for the clingy ones just because they give you attention. They are needy bitches who will ruin your life.

When we call him up like last night, she says that they are sleeping. He lives a couple of houses down from me and I could see his room lights are still on. She tells me that they are sleeping early because he is sick. Lying whore.

/rank

P.S. Sorry, I hate needy bitches.

 

When I left high school and went into the Marines, I had this fine chick that a lot of dudes wanted. But I had the foresight to know that not only would I be interested in what girls were in the world outside the fishbowl I lived in, but that other dudes, once I was in boot camp, would be trying to holla at the one I was leaving at home!

So, I ended it. I didn't want to get a "Dear John I'm fucking" letter, and I didn't want to have to explain why I can't be reached every night because I was out "drilling". I ended it firm though, a little too harsh maybe, but I had to burn the bridge so she wouldn't feel like coming back across later. I was doing that for her sake as well as mine. That humanitarian side of me and shit.

So OP, break it off (gently if you might go back later), tie your belongings to the end of a stick, and go out into the world and seek your fortune...or just get laid by as many women as you can until you don't miss her ass anymore...but it is time to move on player...time for grown man shit...

 

If all that is really on point, then she ain't just a needy bitch, but your man is a weak mufukka! For sure! She can't do anymore than he allows her to. You might want to start thinking that he actually likes having her ass around all the time, even more than y'all. Y'all ain't doing nothing for his nuts, and they are probably whipped well into shape by now. The light is probably still on so she can see his nuts while she crushes them with a hammer. I hate needy biotches, but I also hate weak mufukkas...

 

lol, you're probably right. We pretty much just agreed that its cuz he gets pussy from her. Still hate her though.

OP, dump your girl.