here is the situation. me and my girlfriend are both young (ignore what it says my age is in profile).

well we started going out a few months ago, and she was against the idea of getting eaten out. i also had never done it, but wanted to try. since i convinced her, she has really liked it, so i think. so far i have done it 5 or so times, and even twice in one night, maybe 20 min break.

well here is where the problem comes in. today im going at it, and keep going at it, and im not getting anywhere. i kept trying because i am not one to quit at something like that, but eventually it was no use. at best she got off for about a second(i still doubt that).

so after this it was obvious that i wasnt in the best of moods. so she decides to tell me that the first time we did it(first time for both of us) she faked it. she still says though that i have been very good all the other times. so lets say i take her word for it and believe that the first time, and this time were the only "bad" experiences. should i be worried? i feel like i have lost all my skill and will never be able to bring her to orgasm again. i dunno if its in my head, or it was caused by something in her head, but im very curious....what do you guys think??

 

you suck at teh cunnilingus?

 

tell her you need some feedback.

 

well she says all the other times have been very good. and she does give me some feedback. i just hope i can recover....has this happened to anyone? they usually get their woman off, but sometimes cant?

 

Yes...you are a youngster.

 

Nice first post.

Some women are just hard to please. You will just have to trust what she says.

 

just go for it, don't say anything

 

Watch some pron to get some pointers. Seriously.

If that don't work then its time to introduce the vibrator.

 

Learn how to communicate with your gf and ask her if what you are doing feels good, if she wants it slower or faster, etc. I think most girls want it slow the first few minutes. The key here is finding what turns on your girl.

or

Just watch more lesbian porn and learn how girls like to be touched/sucked/licked.

 

Do that and complain when she gives you a blowjob.

 

ok guys, this just happened again. i am very worried. i dont know what to do. keep in mind that the the last 4 times before 2 days ago were great for her. i havent changed anything. i am hoping it is just in her head, but i dont know how to tell, she says nothing is wrong. i ask her for tips and she has nothing to tell me. once in a while she will tell me "that feels good," but then it just stops. what can i do??? as of now i am hoping to wait it out and hopefully time will fix things. i know some of you guys can give me some advice, other than

 

That wasn't advice - you asked what we think.

Here's some advice from Sam Kinison - lick the alphabet. If that doesn't work, then you might not be getting her in the right mood. As John Cleese instructed in The Meaning of Life, you shouldn't go stampeding straight for the clitoris.

Mike

 

here is a tip, write out the alphabet w/ your tongue, it may take you going through it a few times until she starts to enjoy it.



And don't feel bad about her faking it, women are notorious for this. I know plenty of girls who have actually never gotten off through sexual intercourse. Everyone has their thing that does it. Doesn't mean they don't enjoy it if they don't have an orgasm though. The key is foreplay, getting them worked up and comfortable. They aren't like us men, most women can't just jump right into it.

 

Oh, sweetie...

She faked it because she didn't know what to do either. You're both new at it; she's probably nervous as hell, because at your age, she's probably heard all of the hype about how guys hate the smell and it's gross, etc., and she doesn't have enough experience to realize that most guys don't actually care, and that some actually like it. She doesn't know to relax, either.

Here's the thing to keep in mind (and this goes for everyone). Guys like pressure, girls don't. When you touch her in that region, you need to keep in mind that the clitoris is VERY SENSITIVE to touch, so however hard you think you should be pressing, you should actually halve the pressure. (Girls should usually double the pressure they think they should apply when working with the penis). Don't just go straight for the clitoris... work in the general area first; make sure you aren't tickling her (it helps to gently rub your hand over her whole "area" a few times to get her used to the feeling of your touch down there). Kiss the insides of her thighs, the skin around her lips, etc, and then slowly work your way to the danger zone.

And DON'T PRESS TOO HARD!!! That's the best advice I can give. Scott's advice about the alphabet works, too, as long as you do it gently.

But all physical technique aside, it's mostly the emotional/mental aspect you need to address with her. I can promise you that her problem is not your technique, it's her mental state when you go for it. BTW it also sounds like you are trying to do this like 40 times a day... it might be a little much. Overload can occur, you know.

 

fuck, i want to have sex now

 

Great advice!

A few things that are key, in particular with an inexperienced partner. When she is nervous and focusing on it, it'll never happen, she needs to be relaxed and trust you completely.

Another big mistake most guys make is when she says she's coming, they pick up the pace. DO NOT do this, just maintain the rhythm you used to get her there. When guys are coming they want to go fast and hard, woman don't work that way(most of the time).

I am not trying to cause any trouble, but a drink will help her relax a bit and further enjoy the whole experience. I am not talking drunk, but just a little something to take the edge off.

 

What the hell I am feeling like I am in a generous mood, so I'll share some of my "secret weapons" that will drive woman crazy.

It sounds stupid, but once you've gotten to know your partner, eat her out through her panties. Chances are she'll flip! Another weird one is to lick her in a small area and then blow on it gently to it drys. I don't really understand why this works, but between the heat and cooling it tends to drive woman insane. Lick her the area around her nipples in a circular pattern(I believe that area is called the airiola-sp?) there are more sensory nerves there then on the nipples themselves. I've heard rumor you can make a woman orgasm by that alone, I have not been able to achieve this yet, but suspect it is possible.


I tried to edit and add this to my previous post, but time had expired.

 

Eat Out Her Ass!

 

Don't forget that you still have two hands! While you're down there with your face, you can reach up and gently (or roughly, depending on what she likes) play with her nipples at the same time.

 

The bad news is, if this is happening to you at your age, its only going to get much worse in the future. I recommend maybe joining the priesthood or becoming a eunuch. Either way, make sure you never have to deal with women again, because its obvious you're a failure when it comes to making them happy.

 

^^

Sage advice from an ex-President. You can't get this anywhere else.

 

thanks for the good advice, especially Caliadria.

but the thing i am worried about it that before this weekend, the last 4 or 5 times were great according to her....

 

First of all, you are probably very young, and obviously inexperienced. That goes double for her. You need to know if she can get off on her own. Many girls don't adventure down there much when they're young and "afraid", and especially self-concious. If she is capable of taking care of herself, keep reading. If not, come back when she can, because if she can't do it, you can't do it.

Second, she probably faked it the first time b/c it was either, a) taking too long and she just wanted it over with, or b) it wasn't any good and she just wanted it over with, or c) she has no idea what an orgasm is and she just wanted it over with. If she faked the first time, and she faked the last time, she probably faked #2, 3 and 4 too. You clearly have no expertise with the clitoris.

Third, you need to find out how to perform oral sex on a woman. Read this.

Fourth, you need to communicate. Have her tell you EXACTLY where she likes your tongue to be.

Fifth, make sure you're both not drunk. If alcohol is involved, orgasms won't occur.

And start with her first. Rip her pants off and do your thing. Don't wait til after she gives you head, and blah blah. She'll probably want to go to sleep by then.

 

 

For real, lightness of the tongue is key. Dudes like girls to get agressive with their dicks, go right for it, suck/jerk with reasonable forcefullness ect. This makes us think we can approach carpet munching in the same manner but we are wrong. First of all, you have to work a chick up to it. You can't just rip off their pants and slobber all over their junk. A chick has got to be turned on and wet before you start or shes not mentally going to be in it, and unlike us, if they arent mentally into it nothing will happen. So make out for awhile, suck her tits. kiss her inner thighs, finger her, kiss her down there lips ect. for a while until you can tell she is ready. Or hell, open a line of blunt honesty and just ask. I appreciate girls who are just open and direct. Lots of times they can be nervous or un-confident or too afraid to offend you to just be fucking blunt. I love when a girl can just say "this isnt working so do this..." Don't be mad if your girl tells you that, be happy she can communicate what she wants, because that is golden and rare. When you do go for her clit dont necessarily just bang away at it with your tongue dirctly. Circle it slowly and LIGHTLY. You can and should vary it up and you should be able to feel that little sucker get kinda swollen until its like a tiny button. This tells you you are doing it right. Feel free to keep a finger or two working inside while you do this, lots of girls like to have something there for the added feeling and to feel filled up in a way. BTW I should ask what if anything you noticed when she "orgasmed" before. She told you she did but dude, you should have been able to notice if she had or not with little doubt. If you get a chick off they will be arching their back and wrapping their legs around your head pretty hard. Not necessarily screaming, some do, but alot of that sort of shit is for porno. Anyway when girls get off its not like they just all of a sudden will tell you "hey I'm done.. thanks!" You can tell if you are doing right. It takes a while but their orgasms last a lot longer than ours and seem more intense so don't give up or get discuraged while you are going at it, just eep you head down and keep working, your girl might take awhile to "prime." Just my .02 -- I wouldn't copy pr0n technique, even the lesbians in it are acting out a male fantasy and are going at eating pussy like a wild animal or something. In real life you have got to be WAY more gentle its real sensitive and being a jackass about it will cause them to feel pain, not pleasure. Hope I helped.

 

and remember all women are different, no two like the exact same thing, so don't be upset of some of the things you read have no effect.

 

thanks for all the tips. however, i am still curious as to why the same technique i am using now, worked before, and stopped working. any reasons that would make sense?

 

that's because it never worked before.

 

well assume it did....she swears by it, and i believe her. so anyone with some real help?

 

along w/ what she said, but you may be doing it just a little bit different, the pressure may be different, the one spot may not be hit hte same way even though you think you are doing it identicle

 

She may have been more in the mood one time and not at another time.

Don't get frustrated about it, just be patient and communicate with her to find out the right movements.

Also make sure your not just diving downtown without checking out the rest of the city.

 

believe it or not that sometimes works and I don't mean going all up inside that thang, but playing around in the area between the sweet spot and the dooky shoot. My ex-fiancee introduced me to it andshe really got off on it, now its an essential part of my oral sex routine.

 

Her day to day ability to get off will change. Hormonal differences, mental differences, etc. She may feel pressured to please you by getting off, too. Don't make a huge deal out of it, and be all upset if she doesnt' get off, and ask her forty times why she didn't like it or what she didn't like about it. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. Doesn't mean you suck at teh clit (uh, literally), it just means that it's not in the cards today.

Also, girls don't get blue balls, usually. If she's not going to get off, she can still enjoy the ride without winning the race. However, if she WAS going to finish and you quit early, she will hate you forever. You just have to learn to read her body language.

 

I threw it out there for a reason

 

RELAX!!!! take your time together, don't expect anything and don't try so hard. I suggest you just don't do that for a week or so, do something else. Then one night, just slowly start arousing her and making her comfortable, a small glass of wine, nice music, a couple candles, and easy easy petting, start kissing her like you love her (on the lips just below the nose) SLOWLY work your way down taking your time all along the way. Again this is after a break from doing cunnilingus, gentle slow motion. pretend her whole body is a sex organ, because it is! Once you get her relaxed and enjoying what you are doing, then gently using your fingers easily massage around the area while kissing and licking nearby, then once you know she's ready then and only then gentle use your tongue, as others have said, draw out the alphabet all around, not the clit, that area is the final destination not the intial point of contact!
TAKE YOUR TIME AND ENJOY, if you enjoy it and take it easy she will too, use your fingers along with your tongue all around the area!
The key is making sure she understands that you enjoy doing it

(works for me anyway...)

 

just keep practicing, it takes time to click! what works today might not work tomorow,, LISTEN to what noises she is making, are her toes curling a little... good, is she breathing heavier... more good,,, or is she just laying there eyes open,, not sooo good! tell her to tell you what she wants,,, let her talk to dirty to you about it,, oh baby right there,, or over there.. whatever you do DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL! GIRLS ARE WIRED LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES MORE COMPLICATED THAN GUYS!! IT IS ALWAYS DIFFERENT WITH MY GIRL, ALWAYS BUT AFTER 2 YEARS I KNOW WHAT SHE IS LIKING AND NOT LOKING BY LISTENING AND WATCHING HER.... signs... eyes closed, panting, moaning, stomach tightening up,,,, good stuff.. but dont focus on you or it will never fix itself bro!!! just get your helmut on and get down there and glad she lets you keep going down there,,, she obviously wants it to work too, just ask her to get over the shyness and feel good to give you alittle moan here and there when you hit the right spot.

 

i find that foreplay works best to get a girl worked up... touch her gently on her legs, breasts, waist, neck, lips. Kissing.. helps alot as it can be passionate. Now once you get her all worked up.. shes in the mood more.... ONce shes in the mood more I find it a lot easier to do other things such as sucking her boobs, or maybe down there and that she could relax and enjoy it..