The Phone Call...
Joined: Apr 2005
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From: Bakersfield, CA
Originally Posted by TLover
He compromised his integrity by telling the truth? You have a seriously warped definition of integrity.
Xeno, glad to hear everything is slowly working out for you. Trust can be re-established, but it's going to take time.
Xeno, glad to hear everything is slowly working out for you. Trust can be re-established, but it's going to take time.
how handsome I am
Joined: Oct 2004
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From: Miami, FL
meh. I just read the part about you peacing out if she keeps you in check for a while. you're a dousche. Why you're still trying to get back into this thing if you're thinking like that is beyond me, because all it looks like you want here is sex, really. For that, NY is your cournicopia(sp).
Why even stress over trying to get back with her?
I genuinely feel sorry for her if this is the way you're going to be feeling if you guys get back.
Why even stress over trying to get back with her?
I genuinely feel sorry for her if this is the way you're going to be feeling if you guys get back.
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From: NYC and Tysons
Originally Posted by agranado
meh. I just read the part about you peacing out if she keeps you in check for a while. you're a dousche. Why you're still trying to get back into this thing if you're thinking like that is beyond me, because all it looks like you want here is sex, really. For that, NY is your cournicopia(sp).
Why even stress over trying to get back with her?
I genuinely feel sorry for her if this is the way you're going to be feeling if you guys get back.
Why even stress over trying to get back with her?
I genuinely feel sorry for her if this is the way you're going to be feeling if you guys get back.
how handsome I am
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 12,983
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From: Miami, FL
Originally Posted by Xenogen
Dude....Right now Im so fucking frustrated with this shit, I was making the point that if the rest of our relationship is gonna be about where I've been, and who was I with , then I dont see the point of being together anymore. I understand that this will go on for a bit...but how long is too long ? And NO, If I just wanted sex, I would have kept on going about my merry way, doing whatever the fuck I want. Its almost like I cant win with some of you...You tell me to tell her the truth, if you wanna stay with her...but then shes got no self respect if she takes me back....but then I should tell her about her friends....because its still not telling the whole truth if I keep it from her....and if I tell her about her friends....then its over indefinitely. Damn it...this whole fucking thing was like a setup for failure from the begining. Im honestly thinking that I actually should have just shut the fuck up. Whatever...
It's just the way you say "how it will be over with her" if she starts acting in a controlling manner with you - it should only be natural that she act that way towards you (for a while, at least) and if you really want to stay in this thing, you should try to cooperate for a while too.
Whether you like it or not, you're going to be her bitch for quite some time, and you're going to have to take it until she gets past this whole mess.
Eventually, if it seems like her attitude towards you doesnt change, you should tell her that you're genuinely sorry for what you did (hopefully by then you'll have proven it several times over) and that however differently she's treating you needs to stop.
Based on what you've said here, it looks like you've got alot of leverage in this relationship (she REALLY wants to be with you) so it may not be difficult to right the path of things once she feels comfortable with you again (if it should lead to the previously stated scenario.)
-Alex
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From: Chinatown, NYC
Originally Posted by doopstr
So is this when you tell her that you just weren't boinking any old ho(s), it was her best friend(s)? Might as well get all your shit out of the closet now.
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From: Bakersfield, CA
Originally Posted by Xenogen
Dude....Right now Im so fucking frustrated with this shit, I was making the point that if the rest of our relationship is gonna be about where I've been, and who was I with , then I dont see the point of being together anymore. I understand that this will go on for a bit...but how long is too long ? And NO, If I just wanted sex, I would have kept on going about my merry way, doing whatever the fuck I want. Its almost like I cant win with some of you...You tell me to tell her the truth, if you wanna stay with her...but then shes got no self respect if she takes me back....but then I should tell her about her friends....because its still not telling the whole truth if I keep it from her....and if I tell her about her friends....then its over indefinitely. Damn it...this whole fucking thing was like a setup for failure from the begining. Im honestly thinking that I actually should have just shut the fuck up. Whatever...
but you may want to start looking for another girlfriend now, because in less than 3 months you guys will be separated anyway. By telling her, your whole relationship has collapsed. All of the people who told you to confess were taking what they think is the moral high road, in that she "deserved" to know. I feel that, if YOU are repentant and YOU want to change, then SHE has no need to know. Regardless, now that she does know it will NEVER be the same as how it was.
You really only have two options;
1. tell her about the friends you fucked, because she has the right to know what "friends" they really are or are not. Then break it off with her and find something else for a little while. Eventually she will come back to you because she will rationalize that the problem was her friends, not you, and that you will be (and are?) a changed man. Telling her about her friends is your only possible saving grace if you wish to have some future with this girl. It may not be as it was, but it is a possibility.
2. Or you can just tell her about her slutty friends to hurt her.
sumbdy gettin used 2nite!
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From: Baltimore
Originally Posted by gary_william
You really only have two options;
1. tell her about the friends you fucked, because she has the right to know what "friends" they really are or are not. Then break it off with her and find something else for a little while. Eventually she will come back to you because she will rationalize that the problem was her friends, not you, and that you will be (and are?) a changed man. Telling her about her friends is your only possible saving grace if you wish to have some future with this girl. It may not be as it was, but it is a possibility.
2. Or you can just tell her about her slutty friends to hurt her.
1. tell her about the friends you fucked, because she has the right to know what "friends" they really are or are not. Then break it off with her and find something else for a little while. Eventually she will come back to you because she will rationalize that the problem was her friends, not you, and that you will be (and are?) a changed man. Telling her about her friends is your only possible saving grace if you wish to have some future with this girl. It may not be as it was, but it is a possibility.
2. Or you can just tell her about her slutty friends to hurt her.
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From: NYC and Tysons
Originally Posted by bmoreTLS
But Gary's right, she'll look back on it later and be glad that you at least told her the truth. If you really want her in your future.
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From: Bakersfield, CA
give her the details, man. this will help take the focus of her anger away from you and disperse it amongst many people. If she ends up only being a little angry at you then she can eventually forgive you. but if she is totally pissed at you, then you are getting full blame for something that is not fully your fault. Besides, you already tortured the girl some, why not give her the rest of the dose and get it over with. because, dude, if she finds out in 3 months that it was one of her friends (or more of her friends) then you will be royally screwed.
sumbdy gettin used 2nite!
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From: Baltimore
Originally Posted by Xenogen
I did tell her the truth....just no details.
Burning Brakes
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From: Connecticut
Originally Posted by bmoreTLS
yes you did... but there's the truth and there's "THE TRUTH". Since the best friends are involved that's what makes this situation tough. They will probably tell her eventually. Girls talk. Don't let them beat you to it. And dispersed anger is good, it wont allow the girl friends to look innocent and gullable.
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From: Chinatown, NYC
Originally Posted by bmoreTLS
yes you did... but there's the truth and there's "THE TRUTH". Since the best friends are involved that's what makes this situation tough. They will probably tell her eventually. Girls talk. Don't let them beat you to it. And dispersed anger is good, it wont allow the girl friends to look innocent and gullable.
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From: NYC and Tysons
Originally Posted by doopstr
Xeno, I'm really surprised that you haven't found someone else to bang by now.
sumbdy gettin used 2nite!
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From: Baltimore
Originally Posted by Xenogen
Not really...I'm convinced she might harm me physically
Anyway, wth, this might be pointless, I don't know too many men who don't cheat... maybe they weren't as frequent as you but I know less who don't cheat than do and my friends that don't, maybe they just hide it really well. We all know men can have sex with a woman and not have feelings for her. I hope she can just realize that you want to be with her, and didn't care about the other chicks.
sumbdy gettin used 2nite!
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From: Baltimore
Originally Posted by Xenogen
I would be a complete asshole if I had sex with other girls during this time....though I havent had sex in a WHILE....so Im starting to get antsy.
Tell her you really need some, and you only want her...
but tell her before you see her today. my 
Pro
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From: BAY AREA
dude man i think you should just move on....god damn i remember reading your threads abuot how you had a fuckin schedule for cheating, something like " two fuck buddies who get fucked twice a month each, plus once and a while from the best friend"
dude move on man, find a girl taht you love enough to not cheat on
dude move on man, find a girl taht you love enough to not cheat on
nothing
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From: NoVa
man you shouldve kept your mouth shut and not said a damn thing especially if you dont see yourself marrying the girl, why work for something that has no future? "it takes a man to admit it"-fuck that BS, i dont enjoy going around in fear of my life from an ex-g/f who wants to murder me. if it was something you did while drunk or f'd up and you feel horrible about it then why hurt her, some things are better left unsaid, as shitty as that sounds. but if you go around feeling no remorse or no guilt and keep cheating on her then why bother getting back with her?
