How about don't ask don't tell... isn't that still being honest?

 

eat a dick, buddy. I DID put some serious time into my responses, you just chose (unwisely) to ignore that advice.

but anyway, best of luck, but you should know that you are going to be on a VERY short leash, and if you cannot account for every minute of your non-with-her time then she will immediately begin to doubt you again. Sadly, I feel that you have compromised your integrity, and that will ultimately doom any future relations you have with this girl.

 

Gary...How could I forget you Like I've said before, Im no pussywhipped bitch, and if the relationship ends up being like that, where I have to check in and she has to know where I am, and what Im doing. I'll just end it right there. Like I said, she can hold whatever she wants against me, but fuck that shit if it ends up like that.

 

well, it most likely will, atleast for a little while till she can gain your trust back. right now you are proving you aren't into the relationship. Because if you really cared about her, and that is what it takes to gain your trust back; you would do it in a heartbeat.


For a man who is so old, you really still aren't understanding what relationships are about are ya. One day, one day

 

I understand for a little while, but I was assuming Gary meant from now on and forever. Also seeing that I never cared about any of the girls in my other relationships, Yes, I have no idea what I'm doing, but someday I hope to be just like you Scott.

 

What relationships aren't about dildos and cock?

 

Well, if it's like that, it's your fault. So my statement still stands.


another thing to bring up is, can you see yourself marrying this girl? Cause if not the relationship is pointless IMO

 

Ok seriously though, I think Xeno's going to have to learn the hard way on this one. Despite all the advice that was given to him, ultimately he did what he felt was right and now he's got to suffer the consequences. Sometimes love make you stupid, and sometimes you end up doing stupid things for love.

The relationship can be saved, but its definately not going to be easy. If anything Xeno you can cough it up as a learning experiance.

 

I made this point in my first thread about all this. I said its improbable

 

then why even bother trying to fix things. That's ultimately what relationships are about. The minute you can't see yourself w/ that person forever it's time to get out.

 

OH, I thought he was going to drive an Escort.....

 

Fuck that....My accord is better than an escort

 

im dissapointed in her. what a pushover.. flowers and a song? bah.
No self respecting girl should ever take back someone who cheated on them

 

Well...Im very charming

 

atleast not this easy. but then again, I dont' think she's really taken him back, and it won't be a true "take back" till she knows it was her best friend

i hope this girl knows what she's doing and is scheming up a plan to fuck him over and embarrass the shit out of him

 

She didnt take me back yet...but I will see her Friday, and Im not gonna tell her one of the chicks was her best friend. BTW...There is absolutely no way she could fuck me over or embarrass me. Im bulletproof.

 

That make up sex is gonna be the shiznit!

 

Disagree. Relationships and dating are about fun, not about a lifetime commitment or it's possibility. Bottom line, you know when you are ready and you know when you aren't. You don't have to make the decision quickly. One of the psycho chicks I dated told me on the second date that if I wasn't going to propose to her within or by our first year anniversary then to not even bother dating her.

You don't have to get married by 20 or 25 or 30 or 35 or even 45. There is no time limit on it. It's like college, it doesn't /have/ to be done in 4 years.

 

Your phone got a vid camera on it? I'd like to see this one

OH NOES TEH DRAMA!@

 

I hear your point, those are just my feelings. You don't have to marry the girls you are dating, but IMO, if you can't see that happening it's time to ditch them and move on and try the next one.

that girl you dated was a nut job

 

i stand by my original statement.

you're an idiot.

 

No...But I have a Video Camera There is NO way I'm going to admit that I had sex with her best friend, AFTER I just told her all that other stuff. Thats just feeding the flames, I'll just send it into Postsecret

 

Thanks

 

Oh noes. Famous last words.....

 

 

If you are not going to admit that you have sex with her best friend. Then why tell her that you are cheating in the first place. Talking about going out clean. You are nothing more than a hypocrite.

If that girl has any pride in her, she wouldn't come back to you or let you come back to her. Face it, the relationship is over (you should have keep your mouth shut). It only get worst from now on. But I hope for the best for both of you

 

He compromised his integrity by telling the truth? You have a seriously warped definition of integrity.

Xeno, glad to hear everything is slowly working out for you. Trust can be re-established, but it's going to take time.

 

what you did was the right thing.. im just saying.. shes giving in too easily

 

He didn't tell the whole truth. He's not being entirely up-front. So, yes, he compromised his integrity (again).

First when he cheated, second when he told her he cheated and left-out fairly important details (the best friend thing).

Xeno, I don't know if you've answered this, but would she completely flip out if you told her it was her "best" friend? Was it her best friend? Or just a friend of hers?

 

But is it really the right thing if he leaves out the very important fact that he slept with her friend? Doesn't that seem like it's just a bit shy of being completely upfront? And wouldn't that not be the wisest thing to do under the guise of 'integrity'?

 

Well, according to the "age and wisdom" afforded to Gary_Williams, Xeno comprised his integrity by telling her anything at all.

 

Why should I give her all the details ? There were ALOT of girls, that took advantage of me. If I gave one name, then she would want all the names, and then you've put me in an even more fucked up situtation.

 

yup...

she gonna have you on a tight leash, and you can't say shit.

 

Lets not forget that it was with two of her friends...Id be completely fucked if I told her who the co-cheaters were. And would she be mad....I think so, she might even wanna press some rape charges against me.

 

yup...

don't give anymore details.

they will always bring up old shit...

 

What if that turned her on? The fact that it was her close friends? Hmmmm...wishfull thinking eh.

 

Heres an idea Why dont you tell her for me ? Its a win-win situation.

 

Welp, best of luck. But I continue to be shocked at people who go right back with an SO after such profound dishonesty. I'm not blaming you at all, if you would like to sleep around, that's fine. But if this girl goes back with you, I would blame her. You seem like a decent guy, but you've already proven to this girl that you are incapable of a long term relationship free of infedility. And that right there is strikes 1, 2, and 3.

 

Well this is psuedo-honesty. You're either all-in or not man, what is it?

I gess it's too late now though, if you wanted to be upfront you should have told her everything. You had a chance to have a clear conscious! Too bad, hopefully she doesn't find anything out... but I don't see how she won't.

Good luck.

 

there's no easy way to break that to someone.

you never answered the question of best friends or just friends.
best friend = hate you more.
regular friend (acquaintance) = hate them, keep you.