dabuda

not really, i think guys are hornier so

WDP05EBONY

I agree.. I like my men professional and respectful and freak in bed.

This guy sounds repressed if he actually believes a woman is a slut for calling a man. He really needs to live alittle.

MADCAT

the hot ones want everything done from them. Like driving them to a specific mall for a specific useess item. The down to earth ones will pull their weight.

mystikk

A relationship is about pleasure, it's not supposed to be a fucking job. I wouldn't stand a girl that'll say "call me every night at 8 or don't ever talk to me again." A girl's gotta call sometime.

xizor

if you're offended a woman wouldn't call you first, you are not a real man. i agree with your friend, but the categories you're describing aren't simply black and white, she always calls or never calls. lots of men today like aggresive women because they're easier, there's no effort for the man. there is instant gratification, but the man is trading his masculinity away.

why do you think so many women wear the pants in the relationship these days? many men will sit back and take the ride, but don't kid yourself if you think this produces a 1) healthy or 2) lasting relationship. women wont respect a man who wont take control of the relationship.

this however does not mean that a woman can never ever call a man, nor does it mean a girl is automatically a slut if she calls or not. i don't think your friend should say she's a slut as much as she's "easy", but it could be physically, emotionally, etc.

IMHO the girl setting a precedence of the guy results in a role reversal with an emasculated man and a woman wearing the pants.

TLD

Did I say I wouldn't make the first call? Get your facts straight before you accuse people of dumb shit. I had a recent cancellation on my phone call and that's where the girl was at fault. The girl had my number, but decided to wait on my call to cancel and if that's what being "old fashioned" is about, I hope I never hook up with an "old fashioned" girl. I like girls who are old fashioned to a certain degree, but not calling me first to cancel a date is something I will not accept as old fashioned. My point is that the girl who pulled that bullshit on me is using her supposedly being "old fashioned" as an excuse for such rude behavior and I don't buy it for a second. I believe a truly old fashioned girl would have called to cancel so she could prove herself considerate instead of being rude.

spidey07

bingo.

IMHO, there's way too many pussy's walking around in a man's clothes.

xizor

Like I said, there's never a case where a girl should never ever call, and being considerate is just as important as waiting for a guy to initiate. i don't know if this was the context your friend was talking about girls waiting to call, but if so its not the right scenario. my response is more about the dynamic of a relationship, not a date.

ric

Whatever floats your boat, but frankly, I'm inclined to think that a relationship that is durable depends upon sharing and mutuality, not control. I sure as shit don't control my wife or her actions, nor does she control mine. If I tried to "take control of the relationship" my wife would be outta here in a New York Minute, and if she tried to control me, I'd have been history a decade ago. I'll get my control fantasies worked out in the workplace, not the connubial bed. They don't belong, imho, in an enduring relationship. But then, what do I know, I've only been married once, and that for a mere 18 years.

ric

good manners transcend the specifics of social exchange that are considered correct at one time or another; the twit was rude and inconsiderate. Has nothing to do with whether she is old fashioned or a braburner. Her behavior would have been just as unconscionable in Edwardian England (probably more so......)

xizor

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating barbarianism, but somebody is the head of the relationship. If someone were not agree I'd suggest that that person is obviously not the head.

TLD

Thank you, ric. That's what I've been saying all along. Some girls have no clue about what being old fashioned really is. This genius of a girl thinks it's ok to wait on calls, even if she's gonna cancel the same day upon receiving the guy's phone call. She even had the nerve to tell me, not ask, to call her later and see if she's home, to which I responded, you have my number, call me if you get back early. She never called, I never called back, and now she's upset with me because she asks me to call constantly and I never have since that cancellation. There's a big difference between a girl who's truly old fashioned and a girl who thinks she's being old fashioned by playing "chase me" games.

ric

I was not assuming that you were advocating barbarianism, but I am not advocating a concept of "civilized control" which must then be the alternative.

I frankly think the concept of the man as the head of the house is a very nice, but very dated concept that probably was honored more in the concept than the reality. It places a bizarre array of expectations of dominance and submission on the two respective partners. My not being the "head of the household" does not make my wife the default "head of the household". we share the household, , our marriage, the raising of her son when he was young and our bed. And, her not being the head does not make her some submissive wench waiting to do my bidding, nor does my not being the head make me a pussywhipped wimp. Our marriage is a shared marital state, not a business structure.......

We share the marriage between us, and neither of us "runs it". We share the decisionmaking process and we share a life. . Its a concept, and it works for us. Being the head of our marriage is not critical. I'm the head of/in control of/in charge of/ a halfdozen other things in my freaking life.

About two years ago, my wife crashed from a massive ruptured brain aneurysm and with the full authority of a preestablished Power of Attorney that we had established for each other, I took full control of her complex finances, dismantled her consulting career, moved us into a building that she could handle in a wheelchair while she was in a coma and made virtually all of the decisions on behalf of her care until she began to slowly regain cognition. That placed massive responsibility on my shoulders, but it did NOT make me some titular head of a household, and although technically and legally I had full "control' of her finances and her person, as the arcane language puts it, it did NOT make me "in control" of the relationship. My wife may always need some level of support due to the sequalae of her hemmorhage, but that in no way makes her "lesser", less powerful in the relationship or less able to contriubte to the emotioal house that we have created.

I actually think the concept of control is something of a chimera, a sweet myth that "traditional women" have allowed "traditional men" because it suits them.......

ric

well, the concept of being emotionally ethical is a challenging one..........and apparently hard to grasp.

supermegaglossy

i believe it, the divorce rate in this country is 50%.