So for a little back-story I met this pretty chick, good family values, awesome to hang out with, the whole nine. We start dating and sleep together a few times, she send me nudes, loves the sex and talks about it all the time. So we hang out more and more and the oppertunity to sleep together isn't always there... no biggie. Week goes by we're at my place watching a movie, start making out, try to push it further and she stops me. Tells me she just wants to be able to actually get through a whole movie w/o sex... ok. This starts happening regularly and she completely cuts out any intamacy, so I confront her about it and she basically tells me she doesnt want to get attached and doesn't want our relationship based on sex... which I get, but no sex at all? I have no clue how to turn this pattern around besides to be patient. Any opinions?

 

shes fucking some one else.
Move on.

 

maybe she's got a boyfriend and you're the guy on the side. maybe she likes hanging out with you but is starting to feel guilty about fooling around behind her boyfriend's back. you're getting friend-zoned.

of course these are all just assumptions, i'll need to see pics of said girl before i can make a more assertive desicion.

 

Nooo haha theres no guy on the side and she made it fb official that im her bf. I know she's not fooling around but she's really afraid of losing me and always thinks I doubt our relationship and tells me its her way of defending herself from getting hurt. I mean we're both serious but she's got some insecurities that are starting to wear me out. We're together a lot and every once in a while we get time alone and it's almost like a test to see if i'm like every other guy. She's a model so she's had a lotta d-bags chase her before.

 

so, dont chase her.
let her come to you.

 

maybe since she is real attractive, she's had a bunch of guys just hit and quit. she doesn't want you to fall into that same category...so she's keeping her distance to see if you are seriously into every aspect of her, and not just her ridiculously hot body.

give it time. after she see's that you aren't just after her physically, she'll open up more. no pun intended.

 

^exactly.

 

There are dating chicks and marrying chics.
Sounds like a she is the dating type.
Put a fish out of water and it drowns.
Chics are a lot like fish.

 

I agree with you guys I'm just don't want to turn into more of a pet than a boyfriend, girls hit on me a lot and it worries her. Since we already slept togther it just mind fucks me that she thinks i'll leave after the fact that I didn't and don't plan to lol. I have no problem hanging with her but if I see her six times a week and we have sex maybe once and the rest is just kisses and hugs it makes me wonder what her intentions are.

 

there are a lot of red flags.
you have been warned!

 

move on man.

 

Stop trying to figure out what's going through her head - you can't. Chances are she can't either. If you're ok with the way things are headed, keep going. If not, talk to her about it or do what the rest of us do - find another fucking chick.

 

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_ti...hhold-sex.html

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_6...-leone-qa.html

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_6...eleste-qa.html

 

Like that means jack shit


I'm not trying to be a jerk, but enjoy being mind fucked because it won't stop. She's about as insecure as it gets.

Exhibit A

 

How old are you two by the way?

 

When this is over, PM the nudez.

 

I agree there's a few flags but it's something I'm willing to work with, it seems the more we see each other and the more I don't bring sex up the more she opens up. If I left all I would be doing is proving a point that all guys are the same and throwing away a chick I actually wanna be with...which is rare because I really don't date, i'm used to moving on after a quick fling.


All good articles, thanks for posting. I think this is all just a test and if anything will get better with a little time. I messed up by getting into an arguement with her about it and I guess I gave off the vibe that it was all I wanted her for.

Lmao I know, I felt like a retard saying it but to some chicks it means a lot and if she's willing to tell everyone about me including friends family and co-workers I know she's not trying to hide me from anyone and genuinely cares about me.

And I'm 23 she's 20.. still pretty young

 

 

Like someone else mentioned, don't attempt to fully understand it. Is she someone you feel is worth putting effort towards? Relationships are never a cake walk, and if they are, you are either the luckiest couple ever, or it won't last. If she is worth a month of missing other potential hookups, then I think you should play along. Make her happy and see if she is someone you want to be with. I think many couples get into a bad position when all they ever do together is party and bang-screw because when it comes time to mature and build a family and you can't do that stuff all the time, you may not know how the dynamic will be then. It's not always a bad idea to test the waters of "boring" to see if that is something you can take later.

If she isn't worth missing a month, then you know what to do. Let her know you are young and want to have fun. If she doesn't get it, tell her she shouldn't be so quick dish the goods if that's not what she wants. It sets a false pretense.

 

"You know what your problem is? You put the pussy on a pedestal"

 

exactly.

 

Doesn't want to get attached? That's a cover for i'm bored but i don't want to be alone while my b/f is at work and you'll have to do as i see our relationship going nowhere.

Maybe it's just me.

What somone puts on facebook may be done to appease you while there's another dong in her hand as she's typing it.

 

shes fucking some one else!!
Dont be naive

 

Agreed with all of the above, i'll see how the ball rolls and focus my attention on something other than the pussy... I'm usually not like that and I think thats whats fucking me up. I'm used to chicks always wanting it but on the same token those chicks are 6's 7's and 8's, this ones a 10 with a bad history with guys so easy does it. Random hook-ups get old to me and eventually will either lead to some funny bumps or a child named Darius popping up in my life 10 years down the road. I actually care about this chick so as long as she doesn't get psycho or start getting controlling, i'm good.

Thanks to all who pitched in I appreciate the

 

First bit of advice - don't let any of this conspiracy theory talk cloud your judgement. Assuming what her intentions and motives are based on limited information is hazardous. Go with what you see, and what she's telling you.

My opinon is you are involved with a hot woman who has attracted, and been mistreated, by who knows how many douche bags. I'd consider her reaction a compliment. If she thought you were just another DB, you be out of the picture by now. She clearly thinks more of you, and she seems to be trying to avoid the same mistakes that have obviously hurt her in the past. She wants someone better than a DB.

This is all good news for you, if you think she's someone you'd like to really be in a relationship with.

At 20 and 23, you have so much sex waiting for you in the future you can't even imagine. Giving her a few weeks, or maybe even a couple months, is a small price to pay for what will open up after that.

If you make too big a deal about this, you're going to sound like the douche bags before you - just want sex. Relax and let her set the pace. Once you hit that emotional state where she feels comfortable and vunerable around you, you'll be home free. Until then, go with the flow. You'd probably score a million points if you even told her that you understand what's concerning her, and you'll back off until she's ready.

 

Let's boil it down to something we can all relate.. Chicks are are like cars.. The hot/exotic ones are usually high maintenance and comes with a long history a-la baggage. However, if properly maintained and worked on, you (owner) will get your enjoyment out of it. On the other hand, if you are looking for reliability and low maintenance, get a Honda/Toyota. They may not be flashy but will get the job done thru thick and thin.. Then again you are only 23 living on a planet of over 6 billion people and more than half are females. You have plenty of time and opportunities

 

Teh fuck.. she cut you off so soon??. OP, this chick is a head case.
You guys should be fucking 3-4 times a day at this point.

I'd really like to give you advice, but I'm going to have to see what we're dealing with first.. PM nudes of hot gf to Majofo.

 

you've already lost the game.

 

You guys both hit the nail on the head and couldn't agree more, this is basically the path i've chosen to go with. She is genuinely an awesome chick so a serious relationship with her is something I do want to pursue. I understand she's got a past with d-bags and I don't blame her for being the way she is whatsoever. I realize we're both young so I'm not stressing it anymore, I've never really been a sex fiend or really cared....until it was given and then taken away from me

Haha my eyes only, sorry guys

 

Reminds me of something Ronnie from Jersey Shore said. Something along the lines of "I don't put pussy on a pedestal, I put it on the couch and the floor -- the same place I smash it"

Pretty brotastic, IMO.

 

 

This, which is what I was gently indicating several posts up. Find another field to play on - otherwise she's telling you how quickly to take the trash out and what to do with your pay check before too much longer.

 

A scholar, nay.. a modern day philosobro he is.

 

I'm surprised that anyone watches that show

 

Maybe you're bad and teh sex.



It sounds to me like she feels that since she put out so early on in the relationship that the only reason you are with her is because of the sex. You need to reassure her that there is more to it than that. Don't beat around the bush (no pun intended). If you like this chick then tell her and then also stress that the physical aspect of the relationship is important too.

If she still holds out on you then it's time to move on.

 

16 posts before the request of nudes that were alluded to in the first post? You guys are slipping.

 

Bingo. All she needed was time and reassurance, everything's back to normal. If she was with someone else she wouldn't be bringing me around family, around all of her friends, taking me out, and coming to me. Basically trying to say I would know, game recognize game.

She made it clear she was looking for something serious before we started dating and I let her know the feeling was mutual. However the fact that I came off as a player worked against me and made her freeze up, that's all. If I would have thrown my hands up and said fuck it and moved on I would have ended up losing a smart girl with good work ethic, family values, knows how to treat a guy, and happens to be a model. She realizes when guys see her all they think about is having sex with her and that's why I don't even worry about her cheating on me or banging someone else on the side. If she gave it up the first night I went out with her then I'd have reason to assume she's fucking someone else and move on. I know its a forgotten practice but sometimes respecting a girl and respecting her boundaries is all it takes, try to play her and rush things along and you can kiss her ass goodbye.

I don't really even have to chase her, all that needed to be done was show her that she's not just another fuck and that she actually meant something to me. However that doesn't mean that you give in to every one of her requests and keep asking about why she won't give it up, simply stand your ground and make it clear to her that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but some form of intamacy is necessary. Once you make that clear the best thing to do in the situation is back off and let her come back to you. Keep going like nothing happened and switch focus from wondering why she stopped sleeping with you and focus on spending time with her without trying to push for sex.


And sorry guys, pics stay with me

 

Ahem. Post number 5 says:

 

 

Good job, I would have put up with that too. It's been said many times and confirmed already but she just needed to know that you weren't all about the sex. Now that you've guys have been out, learned more about each other and she's even into you more, she let her guard down. As long as everything was going good in the relationship, your going to get back into her pants again. It was a matter of just when not if. Just don't mess her up, she sounds like a keeper.