Wow ! take it easy man !
Wait ! Did you think for a second that I am some Caucasian blabbering off w/o substance ????

>>I am a native speaker of Mandarin

So am I .
You should read more carefully.
Fooman was NOT talking about "Taiwanese" , he was talking about Madarin (eg Standard official Chin.)
Let's take this offline if you wish, I didnot take offense. welcome to emai/PM me.

 

While this forum is not one dedicated entirely to dating/relationships, I do believe that there are mature enough people on this board to make mature responses, hence my posting. And if you read some of the comments people posted, I don't see it as immature or less-sounding advice. Some are quite good. Besides, I don't like to frequent that many forums.

And it is a language barrier. It's not in my head. I'm not able to communicate with her parents whatsoever if I speak Cantonese. Just as I'm not able to understand what they are saying to me when they speak Mandarin to me. While there are a few words that do sound similar, there are so many differences in tones that learning just one dialect would not mean you becoming familar with the other. Mandarin has like 4 tones while Cantonese has like 9? That in itself makes pronounciations totally different. And let's not forget about the differences in vocabulary and slang.

 

dude, just think about the non-Chinese..if they can do it you sure can. I just can not get over your treating this as a real barrier like 2 languages. THEY ARE NOT.
Besides it's not as if you're to become some anchorman at TTV...just get the basic, no ?

heck let me have a talk with your gf, what's her number ?

 

I think the language barrier is the least of Fooman's worries, or am I mistaken? I think the bigger issue is moving there in the first place and his girlfreind of 4 years suddenly springing this on him.

 

after quickly reading these posts...the one major thing is well...for a woman to say after she's been dating someone for 4 years that's she's single...is well...just wrong...while i understand that she's not married, she's in a relationship and that should be acknowledged. the language/communication issue is the last thing that should be address...they dialects of chinese are complicated, but with time and effort, they can be learned. relationships...well, that's another story...you have to make sure you both are on the same level, otherwise it's just not going to work. finish your education before you make a HUGE mistake...med school and residency are long roads..if you're not board certified...you're useless...if you do decide to move, make sure you're doing it for yourself too...good luck...

 

foo, again no relationship yake or analysis from me just some facts as I know them:

I've know many people like your gf background - Taiwan immigrants, Sr high school/college/grad school - i tell you, of those who went back for a visit, ALMOST ALWAYS they come back here with the thought of moving back there for a while. Think about it about these people: single, independent, capable, no attachment (except bf/gf)

>>>>>
It just seems like a waste to me since the experience won't really transfer here to the US when I apply for residency. But then again, a good girl is hard to find these days.
<<<<<

so you finished med school or what ?
To my knowledge, Taiwan med education system is a COMPLETE COPY of the US (i think HK too)
that means US textbooks, material, grading system etc. Med school degree/credits == totally readily recognized here.
I also believe most of the class is conducted in English.

Now if all you got left is residency - that's even simpler - any hospital will be glad to take you in.
If you could make it thru med school you can pick up enough Mandrin to get around.
Heck 6-months there you are gonna look back and laugh at this language angst thing.
(Have you ever had a chat with any MD from Taiwan to get an idea ???)

 

I'm going to ignore today's drama....

Fooman, how frustrated is she with her residency?? Is this what is driving her to want to get away? To me it sounds like it may be a combination of job stress + "OMG what do I do is he the one forever and I've never lived life" anxiety. Please tell me if I'm wrong. My wife and I had a time when I moved to Virginia for my residency (pharm, not med) and then she moved down a couple of months later... well, she later told me that she was considering taking some time off from our relationship and not joining me. A year earlier, I had considered the same thing as I was frustrated with our relationship (then after 3.5 years of dating). Anyway, my point is each of us separately had our moments of doubt and peak frustration that we got through. Maybe your gf is at one of those moments right now and she'll get through it. It sounds like a phase to me.

Don't know if this was helpful... I'll add that 9 months after she moved down, we were engaged (don't read into that - just coincidence!) and are now happily married. Our relationship has only improved, and I'm glad we've each gone through that 'what if?' phase already

 

Ditch her and get another chick. Why disrupt your life and live in the 3rd world? Yeah I'm an old jerk but that's the point. Women and relationships should be fun. Evidently she's not enjoying you as much as you are enjoying her. Get somebody that enjoys you! Life should be extreme fun and laughs with a partner. There's enough problems naturally. If she doesn't get it, it might be just sex. And if it's that get a pro.

 

I wonder what fooman did. Your advice is to a post that is 6 months old.

 

Since my last post regarding this, she hasn't brought up the whole moving to Taiwan thing. Out of sight, out of mind....hopefully. I'll have to keep her from going back there again.