need advice asap
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Drifting
Joined: Nov 2004
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From: New Jersey
need advice asap
Cliff notes version-ex best friend slept with one of my friends. One night stand deal. Used condom. She is now running her mouth that she has contracted a nasty std/hiv from her boyfriend. Slept with my friend while they were still dating (cheated). Do i call and tell my friend to go get tested? Dirty slut would never ever tell him
Thread Starter
Drifting
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,463
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From: New Jersey
Is it my place to tell him? I honestly think that it is, but she could be making it up for all i know (shes mentally ill). That would cause someone a lot of unessesary worry. She didn't used to look like a whore, it took me 2 years to convince the girl to wear a skirt! But now, she looks like a washed up coke whore
You want me to break it?
Joined: Sep 2003
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From: Dallas
If he is your friend, tell him - this is shit he needs to know. Just give him the caveat that he slept with a mentally unstable person so it could all be a load of crap. Regardless, I think it's his decision what to do with the info. 
-S namyaC-
Joined: Sep 2003
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From: TN
Duh tell the poor guy. Just say you HEARD this, but it doesn't make it TRUE. He needs to know though, and hopefully if it is true - its not as serious as HIV and the condom worked.
It's your responsibility to tell him that you heard that she MAY have something.
It's his responsibility to find out if she's telling the truth, and if so - get testest ASAP.
EDIT: also, IMO, there are no "places" when it comes to things like this. People get very sick and possibly die from STDs. This is not some high school rumor about some old one nighter being prego. Tell the person regardless of what anyone else thinks.
It's your responsibility to tell him that you heard that she MAY have something.
It's his responsibility to find out if she's telling the truth, and if so - get testest ASAP.
EDIT: also, IMO, there are no "places" when it comes to things like this. People get very sick and possibly die from STDs. This is not some high school rumor about some old one nighter being prego. Tell the person regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Last edited by proaudio22; Dec 7, 2005 at 08:53 PM.
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is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
He has no need to get tested. He used a condom. Provided protected vaginal intercourse was the extent of their sexual encounter, he did not have an exposure and has no need to get tested as a result of this particular encounter. That said, getting periodically tested isn't a bad idea for anyone. I personally have been tested for HIV more than once. Very stressful even if you're confident that you have nothing to worry about
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by proaudio22
Do you know the chances of an STD getting though a condom?....MUCH higher than sperm, as they are much SMALLER.
In other words, 99.9 times out of 100, no infection will result in the insertive partner. Keep in mind, this is per exposure. Clearly, everytime one has an encounter, that number is squared, and your risk of seroconversion increases dramatically. Nevertheless, when you bring a condom into the equation, the risk of acquiring HIV in during a protected, insertive vaginal sexual encounter is zero.
Suzuka Master
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 7,391
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From: Myrtle Beach
Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
He has no need to get tested. He used a condom. Provided protected vaginal intercourse was the extent of their sexual encounter, he did not have an exposure and has no need to get tested as a result of this particular encounter. That said, getting periodically tested isn't a bad idea for anyone. I personally have been tested for HIV more than once. Very stressful even if you're confident that you have nothing to worry about
Doesn't change the fact that he needs to know.
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by ABreece
HIV can take a few months to show up anyways.
Doesn't change the fact that he needs to know.
Doesn't change the fact that he needs to know.
So yea, I agree he needs to know, but no more than anyone else. Like I said, I think getting tested periodically is a good idea.....but I don't think that he should have someone urging him to get tested because of this particular situation, which will only cause him unneeded anxiety, especially considering the unknown status of the partner and the fact that it was a protected encounter. The risk in that situation is almost laughable.
Yeehaw
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 20,972
Likes: 26
From: Chandler, Arizona
Originally Posted by proaudio22
Meh, not what I read (multiple times) but I'm not going to bother arguing about it. You do your thing, I'll do mine. We'll see who has what in 10 years. 
If you read otherwise, its scare tactics (not that there is anything really wrong with that, but its not accurate). The chance of getting hiv through heterosexual sex with a condom is practically zero. The chance of a man contracting hiv from a woman even without a condom is still very low.
then the risks skyrocket...
Burning Brakes
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 995
Likes: 0
From: Saskatchewan, Canada
Originally Posted by ZtotallynakedZ
Is it my place to tell him? I honestly think that it is, but she could be making it up for all i know (shes mentally ill). That would cause someone a lot of unessesary worry. She didn't used to look like a whore, it took me 2 years to convince the girl to wear a skirt! But now, she looks like a washed up coke whore
YES!!!!
it is your place to tell him...you don't have to give nasty details...just encourage him to keep track of his health....if you were my friend and i ever found out you knew about this shit.......
I
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,865
Likes: 58
From: Chicago Suburbs
Originally Posted by Andrea25
why would you not tell your buddy?!?!? are you sick!!!??
do you wanna bone this chick?!??
awful!!!!
of course, tell him fool!!!!
do you wanna bone this chick?!??
awful!!!!
of course, tell him fool!!!!
Burning Brakes
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 995
Likes: 0
From: Saskatchewan, Canada
getting tested has never HURT anybody as far as i know
HIV is the least of buddy's worries..
syphylis still kills people everyday..
the clap can make you sterile..
herpes....
all these things are serious....if you CARE about your friend, you will put his well-being BEFORE you're EX-best friends.....
HIV is the least of buddy's worries..
syphylis still kills people everyday..
the clap can make you sterile..
herpes....
all these things are serious....if you CARE about your friend, you will put his well-being BEFORE you're EX-best friends.....
Last edited by Andrea25; Dec 7, 2005 at 11:47 PM.
I
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,865
Likes: 58
From: Chicago Suburbs
Originally Posted by Andrea25
getting tested has never HURT anybody as far as i know
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sh_stdtesting.shtml
Male Physical
Okay guys, this is for you. Your physical will go something as follows. The doctor will proceed with the examination and will check you externally for any bumps, rashes or anything out of the ordinary. The doctor will check for any warts, ask if you’ve had any pain while urinating or discharge from the penis. The doc also wants to know if you’ve had a swollen throat recently or swollen glands anywhere. He/She will check your pubic hair, check urethral opening, and check your anus (he/she may have to do a digital anal exam if there’s a possibility of warts or prostate inflammation). Then comes the dreaded part, the doctor then has to insert this plastic stick into your penis. This stick collects live cells from inside your penis which are checked under microscope for any sexually transmitted diseases (gonorrhea and chlamydia). Almost done.
He/She then checks for scrotal hernias, by holding your scrotum while asking you to cough. It’s over ….”Yeah!!!” But wait one more thing. Just as I told the women, make sure that you ask for your blood HIV test. This is the one thing that the little plastic stick does not test for, yet is a most important test to get.
Okay guys, this is for you. Your physical will go something as follows. The doctor will proceed with the examination and will check you externally for any bumps, rashes or anything out of the ordinary. The doctor will check for any warts, ask if you’ve had any pain while urinating or discharge from the penis. The doc also wants to know if you’ve had a swollen throat recently or swollen glands anywhere. He/She will check your pubic hair, check urethral opening, and check your anus (he/she may have to do a digital anal exam if there’s a possibility of warts or prostate inflammation). Then comes the dreaded part, the doctor then has to insert this plastic stick into your penis. This stick collects live cells from inside your penis which are checked under microscope for any sexually transmitted diseases (gonorrhea and chlamydia). Almost done.
He/She then checks for scrotal hernias, by holding your scrotum while asking you to cough. It’s over ….”Yeah!!!” But wait one more thing. Just as I told the women, make sure that you ask for your blood HIV test. This is the one thing that the little plastic stick does not test for, yet is a most important test to get.
Safety Car
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,246
Likes: 0
From: Philadelphia, PA USA
Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
The chances of contracting HIV through vaginal penetration with a condom is near zero. According to findings from the Euro-NONOPEP Project Group, the chances of seroconverting to HIV positive status after an unprotected, insertive vaginal encounter with a partner known to be HIV positive at the time of the encounter is less than 0.1%.
In other words, 99.9 times out of 100, no infection will result in the insertive partner. Keep in mind, this is per exposure. Clearly, everytime one has an encounter, that number is squared, and your risk of seroconversion increases dramatically. Nevertheless, when you bring a condom into the equation, the risk of acquiring HIV in during a protected, insertive vaginal sexual encounter is zero.
In other words, 99.9 times out of 100, no infection will result in the insertive partner. Keep in mind, this is per exposure. Clearly, everytime one has an encounter, that number is squared, and your risk of seroconversion increases dramatically. Nevertheless, when you bring a condom into the equation, the risk of acquiring HIV in during a protected, insertive vaginal sexual encounter is zero.
For this guy, I would not run around in hysterics. I would pass on the info that the psycho one night stand is running off at the mouth, and it might be time to schedule a lab visit. Certainly the hysteria of the moment is HIV + because of the devastating impact of the disease, but as has been noted, Syph and the clap have not gone away, and they are both very serious diseases in and of themself. Herpes is a real maintenance challenge.......
yeah i'm bored.
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,128
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From: clifton, nj
Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
<---- Virgin, so I think I'm safe 
lots of shared heroin needles?
Race Director
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 17,921
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by ric
I would suggest that, condom notwithstanding any sexually active adult that engages, whether casually or not, in sex with different partners, should be tested for the battery of STD's ever six months. Period. Routine. Doc, lab, bloodscucking, results. 99 44/100 likely to be clean, but if not, the catching of an STD early helps any treatment plan.
Just got my HIV test a month ago. Mostly for my new GF's peace of mind, but it did make me feel alot better to know with some degree of certainty that I don't have that.
Suzuka Master
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,746
Likes: 0
Originally Posted by ric
I would suggest that, condom notwithstanding any sexually active adult that engages, whether casually or not, in sex with different partners, should be tested for the battery of STD's ever six months. Period. Routine. Doc, lab, bloodscucking, results. 99 44/100 likely to be clean, but if not, the catching of an STD early helps any treatment plan.
My gyno tests me during my annual visit. I haven't been since last November though... I really hope all those gangbangs I participated in (okay, okay, *starred* in) while I was on my own this year didn't hurt my chances for a clean bill of health. 
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by agean
no offense to the virgin part, that's cool and all. but if you're a virgin, why have you had numerous HIV tests?
lots of shared heroin needles?
lots of shared heroin needles?
Not recently at least 
Actually I've had a few body fluid exposures at the hospital in which I work.
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by ric
I would suggest that, condom notwithstanding any sexually active adult that engages, whether casually or not, in sex with different partners, should be tested for the battery of STD's ever six months. Period. Routine. Doc, lab, bloodscucking, results. 99 44/100 likely to be clean, but if not, the catching of an STD early helps any treatment plan.
For this guy, I would not run around in hysterics. I would pass on the info that the psycho one night stand is running off at the mouth, and it might be time to schedule a lab visit. Certainly the hysteria of the moment is HIV + because of the devastating impact of the disease, but as has been noted, Syph and the clap have not gone away, and they are both very serious diseases in and of themself. Herpes is a real maintenance challenge.......
For this guy, I would not run around in hysterics. I would pass on the info that the psycho one night stand is running off at the mouth, and it might be time to schedule a lab visit. Certainly the hysteria of the moment is HIV + because of the devastating impact of the disease, but as has been noted, Syph and the clap have not gone away, and they are both very serious diseases in and of themself. Herpes is a real maintenance challenge.......
Thread Starter
Drifting
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,463
Likes: 0
From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
The chances of contracting HIV through vaginal penetration with a condom is near zero. According to findings from the Euro-NONOPEP Project Group, the chances of seroconverting to HIV positive status after an unprotected, insertive vaginal encounter with a partner known to be HIV positive at the time of the encounter is less than 0.1%.
In other words, 99.9 times out of 100, no infection will result in the insertive partner. Keep in mind, this is per exposure. Clearly, everytime one has an encounter, that number is squared, and your risk of seroconversion increases dramatically. Nevertheless, when you bring a condom into the equation, the risk of acquiring HIV in during a protected, insertive vaginal sexual encounter is zero.
In other words, 99.9 times out of 100, no infection will result in the insertive partner. Keep in mind, this is per exposure. Clearly, everytime one has an encounter, that number is squared, and your risk of seroconversion increases dramatically. Nevertheless, when you bring a condom into the equation, the risk of acquiring HIV in during a protected, insertive vaginal sexual encounter is zero.
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by ZtotallynakedZ
You really can't be that stupid can you? Any GENTIAL CONTACT CAN EXLICT AN STD OR PREGNANCY. So, think about that the next time you're rolling around in bed with a whore-just because you don't stick it to her without a condom, doesn't mean that you can't contract an std.
Don't urge this poor guy to get an HIV test because of this encounter. If what you told me was accurate, he did not contract HIV from sex with your ex-friend. As for other STDs, it's a totally different story. Herpes can be passed with a condom, and the likelihood of transmission is totally different and unrelated to HIV transmission rates.
But, herpes and syphilis, along with chlamydia, or virtually all other STDs are curable. Getting tested for those is not nearly as stressful as an HIV test that could give you a death sentence. All I'm saying is, for this guy's sake, don't convince him that he may have been exposed to HIV, because he wasn't (regardless of this other girl's HIV status.)
Suzuka Master
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,124
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From: MD
Tough call. How would Z feel if she never told him and 5 years down the road this dude is on his deathbed and so are 5 other chicks because of the hiv? Even if the chance is still <.0000000001% it's still right to tell IMO.
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
Tough call. How would Z feel if she never told him and 5 years down the road this dude is on his deathbed and so are 5 other chicks because of the hiv? Even if the chance is still <.0000000001% it's still right to tell IMO.
Telling him to gett tested ofr STDs is fine, but don't tell him he may have been exposed to HIV, because he wasn't.
You want me to break it?
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,871
Likes: 0
From: Dallas
type s - if you in fact know of a cure for herpes let me invest in your start up company - so far, nobody else has been able to cure this disease.
Anyone know the failure rate of condoms? I don't - regardless, I'd get tested (wait 6 weeks or so for good measure). Whatever, get tested, don't; trust the raincoat or not; I'm married so I don't care. Have fun.
edit - since you work in a hospital I'm surprised that you speak with such authoritarian tone - never say never.
Anyone know the failure rate of condoms? I don't - regardless, I'd get tested (wait 6 weeks or so for good measure). Whatever, get tested, don't; trust the raincoat or not; I'm married so I don't care. Have fun.
edit - since you work in a hospital I'm surprised that you speak with such authoritarian tone - never say never.
is Pretty Much a Moron
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 2
From: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by Gpump
type s - if you in fact know of a cure for herpes let me invest in your start up company - so far, nobody else has been able to cure this disease.
Anyone know the failure rate of condoms? I don't - regardless, I'd get tested (wait 6 weeks or so for good measure). Whatever, get tested, don't; trust the raincoat or not; I'm married so I don't care. Have fun.
edit - since you work in a hospital I'm surprised that you speak with such authoritarian tone - never say never.
Anyone know the failure rate of condoms? I don't - regardless, I'd get tested (wait 6 weeks or so for good measure). Whatever, get tested, don't; trust the raincoat or not; I'm married so I don't care. Have fun.
edit - since you work in a hospital I'm surprised that you speak with such authoritarian tone - never say never.
Edit #2 -- Never say never? I've never had sex (
). HIV transmission through condoms occurs at a similar rate.
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 6,542
Likes: 115
From: Edmonton, Alberta
The STD's don't go through the condom unless it has a rip or tear in it. Never use expired condoms, and always make sure it is on properly with water-based lubrication. And the less partners, the better.
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