OK, so a buddy of mine is having a little trouble making up his mind about something. He asked my advice, but I think it could be a bit of a touchy subject, so im kinda avoiding it right now. anyway he's been talking to this girl for about a year now and there is obviously a real attraction between the two of them. He says that he's in love with her and he's pretty sure she feels the same about him. Here's the glitch... They are both strong believers if thier faiths, both of which basically condemn dating outside of their respective faiths. He says they talked it out and decided that it would be best to be "just friends". Worked for a little while, but now she's seeing someone and he's a wreck. I've seen the two of them together and i can tell you that her relationship wont work out. She cares too much for my friend. So pretty much he's asking me if he should say "fuck it" and be with the girl, or break off all ties so that they both can move on. Like i said it seems like a really tricky situation. Opinions?

 

You cant choose who you love. Commiting to date only within your religion eliminates a HUGE section of the dating pool and to be that devout means that you are going to have to make sacrifices. I would say go for it, because IMO pretending not to love someone because you have different viewpoints is doing yourself a disservice. It sounds like he made his decision and he fell in love anyway, so he should really be with her.

But, you said it yourself, its a sticky subject and this is no one elses problem but his own. You were right for staying out of it and I recommend you force him to deal with it himself.

 

They decided it "just friends", he's on the "friends ladder" move along. He's wasting his time.

Religion can be a big hurdle. It helps a lot if both families are on board with the inter religion dating, else they be a pain in the ass. It's complicated and he just lost a good fish but don't let that get him down. Just chalk it up in the experience column and find another, there are plenty.

 

Well one thing that i know for sure is that if he does break it off completely he's not gonna be fun to be around at all. she went on vaca for a week in some hick ass part of the country and couldnt get a signal and he was in a complete funk the whole f*cking time. poor bastad. i feel for him, i really do, but i cant help but feel that he brought it all on himself. if he breaks it off corona brewing, and jagermiester are gonna have to speed up production and he's gonna take a vacation day or two.

 

One of my best friends back in the day had his heart broken when his girl told him, "I can't date you because you're catholic." Guy was in a emotion coma for about ten months.

 

No one can answer but him! What's more important to him at this point in his life---faith or this girl? If both of them are deeply committed to their spiritual and religious beliefs (which prohibits them from dating), and know that they will not sway from their values, then it's quite obvious that the relationship he is hoping for will not work/happen. Period. Even if he is willing to stray...that's only one person of a couple (two) who needs to be onboard and open for this 'mixed' relationship to even commence (read: not work or last.....but actually happen). If they are both willing to date, making it work (if they are both so deeply involved with their respective faiths) is a completely different challenge.

 

can he just fuck her and not date?

 

Remember, he's very religious. He's 22 and a virgin. personally i really respect him for it. thats not easy considering some of the girls ive seen him talk to.

 

^better than being a virgin because you can't get any.

I personally hate religion, but it depends whats more important to him. Being potentially miserable for the rest of his life, or saying fuck it to some old book.

Mike

 

 

or he could fuck the book.

 

I suppose. But paper cuts suck when they are on your fingers...

Mike

 

if he's not circumcised, three birds with one stone.

 

it's definitely a choice he'll have to make...
Which is more important.. religion or relationship?

weigh options.. make decision..

 

fixed

 

Now in the Bible it says

Thou shalt not watch two lesbians in bed,

Have homosexual sex

Unless of course you were given the consent to join in

Then of course, it's intercourse

And it's bi-sexual sex

Which isn't as bad, as long as you show some remorse for your
actions

Either before, during or after peforming the act of that
which

Is normally referred to have such, more commonly known
phrases

That are more used by today's kids

In a more derogatory way but

Who's to say, what's fair to say, and what not to say?
-Eminem

I think thats like nike, Just do it!

Mike

 

If religion is that important to them then they should stick with dating within their religion. If not he will end up in more situations like this

 

I've been in a couple relationships where religion and race became the problem that ended the relationships. I personally never cared about someone's religious beliefs. I'm a Hindu; not very religious or currently a practicing Hindu. Steak tastes too good. I have never dated any girls in my faith, including my wife.

I think if religion is so important to both of them, then chances are a relationship will fail. Even though I believe it is a dumb reason to exclude people that you obviously have a strong attraction too, I cannot fault him from going the friend route. I hope he doesn't wake up one morning and realize that he messed up because of his religious beliefs.

 

To say that religion doesn't matter in a relationship only works if you're not very strongly religious. Some people's religious beliefs are a major part of who they are - good or bad.

 

If they're that religious, I see failure

 

Though religion is important in life, decision made is ultimately up to individual, not God. Your friend is obviously a strong believer in his religion and to be with someone outside of his religion is a "no-no". He's a wreck now since she's seeing someone else, but he'll get over it and move on. It is better NOT to date her because later in life, suppose they end up getting married, which religion will the kid be forced to practice? Things can get complicated.

The only solution that will work is both of them is willing to give up what they believe to be together. As old saying "Love conquers all".