Mike 350Z

First off, I'm gonna say this isn't anything current, its like 1.5 years in the future and hypothetical, but it's been bothering me of late.

OK well my girl said something about her dad might get her a nice little 3-series for a college graduation gift I'll be graduating this May and won't get (nor do I want) anything close to that. She has to do another year after that so that's why it's a long way off.

The main gripe I have is that she's used to getting everything handed to her and not working for anything (she hasn't had a real job in 3-4 years, then complains that she can't afford Gucci this and LV that that she wants). The stuff that doesn't get handed to her suffers (grades, abdominal muscles, LV bags, etc). I mean she's just graduating college for God's sake, not to mention she's gonna take 5 years to do it and she'll have a GPA in the low 2's.

Maybe it's jealousy or resentment, but I'm 100% sure I don't want her lifestyle. Frankly at age 23 I would be embarrassed to say I'm driving a car daddy bought for me, not to mention feel 0 satisfaction. I was cool with it at 18, but not at 23. Also she's the type of girl that would never pop the hood and hardly ever wash it, rather just view it as another piece of nice jewelry, which kinda gets me since im such a car nut and would love to toss a little 3-series thru some turns. A girl I know just got a new 38K Saab courtesy of daddy, but it doesn't bother me b/c she has like a 3.8 GPA and wants to go to law school, and goes to the gym a lot, etc. So at least she knows how to work for something.

I know I'm gonna say something stupid (again IF she ever does get it) like "oh congratulations" or "wow you should be proud of yourself" and I want to avoid that. But is there a way to express my disagreement in a tasteful manner?

This isn't going to affect me much but it would be the epitome of us not being able to relate (at least in the area of earning things and working for them) and probably having to end the relationship, mostly because I would get a sick feeling in my stomach knowing im going to work everyday to pay for a new car while she's sitting by the pool or working some worthless job and driving a new 330. It's not that I feel pressure to "measure up" and pamper her like her father does, rather I feel if you want something nice, you gotta earn it/work for it.

Also, IF we continue into uncharted territory such as marraige or whatever, would she expect to be pampered like that by me, or even worse try to raise our kids like that???

Again this is all hypothetical/for into the future, but it's been bothering me of late and I'd like to know what others would do if in my shoes.

Name

imo..... thats life, some people work for their stuff, and should be happy, others get everything without doing any work, so I wouldnt be bothered that much about it... its someone else let them do what they want.

alex2364

You're just jealous. Take a drive in her new 3-series when she gets it and you'll feel better. BTW I know people who have gotten Corvettes for their 16th birthday so a 3-series for college graduation is nothing.

BEETROOT

3 series for graduation? so what. I have a friend whose parents are buying him a gs430 because he DROPPED OUT of college and moved back home

lots of people get cars for graduation. no big deal.

1SICKLEX

GeishaGirl

its not a big deal. If her daddy wants to get her the car let him, its not like she is asking you to pay for it. Its pretty typical for someone to get a car for graduation from HS, bachelors, law school etc.

Its funny, I just had a similar conversation with my bf about this. I'm like your gf, except that I don't bitch about not being able to afford the finer things (if I couldn't I'd get a job), and I pull high 3's GPA wise. I have only had one real job in my life and that was only for a short time, while he has had a pretty good work ethic throughout his lifetime. I am planning to get a job after or maybe a little before I finish law school though, if not an internship or something. What we basically came to was that if it does get as far as marriage and children we can take it day by day and blend our lifestyles/upbringings. I'm sure you can come to some compromise with her if you two love each other. As for you needing to pamper her the way her daddy does, thats trash. My bf has told me a few times jokingly that he won't be able to support my lifestyle, and I always tell him that he is a silly boy and that is totally fine with me. Its fine with me if he is NEVER able to pamper me the way that I'm used to, its not his responsibility. If she leaves you someday because you can't/won't indulge her habits, kick her to the curb

2003type-s6

A car for graduation isn't too bad I guess. The rest of your girlfriends traits seem to be pretty disturbing though, that is what I would be worried about. LV bags, Gucci?? That's super high maintenance bro. Sounds like in a couple years when you get married you are going to be slaving 12 hours a day while she complains she sits at home, getting fatter, complaining you are providing her the best life has to offer, until she divorces you and takes half or more of whatever measly things you own. The gravy train from her Mom and Dad will run out eventually, and when it does it's bound to get ugly. My advice is to RUN as fast as you can while you still have virtually no strings.

Slimey

It sounds like this girl has a lot of issues, or does things in a way that doesn't jive with your overall sense of how things should work.

This is going to effect your overall happiness level and ultimately effect the time you spend with her.

You're young -- there's no need to stay with someone that has this undercore of what you consider 'not good'.

Time to move on...

rezurex

warning.. she is not wifey material... but im sure you would know that.. someone like that would suck every penny ya got just so that she can be flossin at the level she thinks she deserves to be at and more.

Mike 350Z

Hmm interesting points....in her defense she doesn't expect the world handed to her on a silver platter, never once does she whine to daddy or me to buy her something. It's just he gives her everything and who's gonna refuse that? But I agree it could get ugly in the future.

2003type-s6

You said it yourself ----------"She's used to getting everything handed to her and not working for anything (she hasn't had a real job in 3-4 years, then complains that she can't afford Gucci this and LV that that she wants)"

Sounds like princess is expecting to be sipping drinks by the pool while you bring home the bacon. She better have some really good bedroom skills, because I'd be willing to bet she doesn't cook or clean either, nevermind the lack of real job thing, correct? Sounds like she's a spoon fed spoiled rich girl, and you come from more of a "blue collar, I worked to pay for it and I appreciate it", not someone who gets expensive stuff handed to them all the time just because. Those one's rarely ever turn out good. You can't hate them because they come from money, but they never seem to hold the same values and morales. No matter how good the poon is, and I know how attached and comfortable one can get in a long term relationship, you might want to look at the big picture and re-evaluate this girl, else you might be in for a rough ride.

Mike 350Z

Well I see your point, but just because she's used to getting everything doesn't mean she expects it (i don't know if she does or not)...she just doesn't come off like that. I didn't know her dad had a 7-series till I saw it at her house when i went there. it wasn't even mentioned til i asked about it. So it's not like she's stuck up or anything. Also two of her best friends don't even have cars!!!! Her dad told her she has to get her act together at school or she's coming home to finish, so she's gonna have to work for that, so that's a step in the right direction and maybe she'll learn how good it feels to earn something.

For now we relate pretty well at school b/c we get along and we both like to get wasted and get laid so what else do you need? I'm not lookin for wifey qualities right now. I might as well at least have some fun this year and try not to grow to completely dislike her. I'm not gonna run for the hills just yet, but I'll keep all this advice in mind if im still in this position when it's time to move to the next step of life...ill definitely act on it.

BTW she at least tries to cook, but I think I'm better

supermegaglossy

if she's 23 and can't buy it herself...??? um... ok. i work with a girl who just bought a new 3 series herself (as far as i know). I am a soph. in college and i paid for over half my car a few months ago (my dad did chip in the rest, but wouldn't have if i didn't make the dean's list last spring.)

i completely agree with you... it's disgusting when people get everything handed to them. my theory is, if you want something, get off your ass and go pay for it yourself. that's they only way anything gets done, and is definitely more satisfying. I can truthfully say I've paid for most of my late-model (and beautiful ) car... how many other college students can say that?

your gf is a tad on the spoiled side and needs to not be so materialistic. LVs are UGLY anyway..lol. my mom and dad never bought me diamond earrings or plantium rings, and i'm not any less of a person because of it. in fact, people like you and me who are happy with what they have and WORK for what they want are BETTER people in the long run.

i can't tell you what to do with her, but i know i wouldn't be able to stand it.. like you said... is she going to expect that when you're married? the answer is yes. she will always expect the man in her life to hand it all to her, even if she's not "stuck up".

v dubber

dude, my ex told me she was getting an '05 M3 cab when she becomes a junior in high school her family does seem rich, but still.....getting a $65k car as a 16 year old is kinda unrealistic (though i do have a friend who has an '04 m3 jet black with HRE's etc....)but anyways, when i get my car chipped i'll be spanking her car just like i spanked her in the earlier days

Mike 350Z

Sounds good, I'll keep all that in mind. Hey at least you made dean's list. We're still tryin to get her above the 2.0 threshold

SilviaGTO

i got a civic when i turned 16

dallison

a car for what?? i graduated high school and college and i got a pat on the back, not a penny. every car i have purchased myself and maintained 100% like a lot of members on this board.

i get paid well as does my fiance. i understand what you are thinking. i would view someone like that as materialistic and probably very shallow.

those kinds of people don't know the value of the dollar. i am sure she may appreciate it one day but not anytime soon.

i view em the same way, mommy and daddy's car

98CLChick

Live in my community for a week. You'll completely understand what "materialistic" means.

(Btw, daddy bought my first car, but I bought my cl.)

anothercls

Lucky for me my parents never bought me a car at all....I have bought them all.

evilone

you gotta remember that she is prob his little princess!!!! i mean most parents if they are well to do spoil their kids. they wanted them to have all the advatages that they might not have had... just keep things in perspective if you really love her who gives a shit if she gets a new bm.. imean im sure you will be driving it at some point if you 2 are together... so just be happy for her no need to tart some stupid fight over some dumb shit. thats just my :twocents:

dallison

^ i would prob be the same way with a daughter if i ever had one, but never anything new, i would hope

Justin.CL

I love them the same anyways though.

I think it is a good thing that they can buy her a BMW. My parents probably would have done it for me if they could afford to do so.

Titand19

just hit that shit and milk it for what it's worth. Try to get daddy to pay your way.

Beltfed

That is a good ethic to have, because most people have to work to get the things they want in life.

But you should know that a majority of the richest people in the U.S. inherited their money.

There isn't anything wrong with it, as I would think most people would not turn down free cars and money (at any point in their life).

So in the end, do you sound a tad jealous? Yes.

Is it wrong to feel that way? No, its normal.....as long as you don't let it bother you to the point where its always on your mind.

Then it becomes a problem. Just work hard toward what you want out of life and you'll get that 3 series one way or the other.

ding069

spoiled girls expect too much. when i see a girl spinnin a louie, gucci, dior or kate i try an stay away. High maintenece broads are too much work, and they will make your pockets go dry real fast.

Beltfed

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