Living With Your SO
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 58
When you're both ready and willing, there will be no hesitation or worry, no second-guessing having keys to the same place. You'll want it, it'll feel right, you won't expect perfection or miracles, and you'll be open to working through any difficulties instead of waving the white flag over something like who does laundry. You'll look forward to not having to travel back and forth to see each other, and will have already accepted your S.O. for who they are. How they brush their teeth does not change someone's being. Hopefully you will have spent weekends, weeks, weekdays and long periods of time together before considering moving in. If you're honest in your relationship, there is no front to uncover upon moving in. If there are any doubts from either side, don't push it - you're just setting up disaster. You should both want it and look forward to it. And yeah, if you don't see yourself eventually becoming engaged and marrying someone, never mix finances. Living together would just be a complicated mess to clean up once the relationship fizzles.
registered pw
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 38,859
Likes: 366
From: south central pa
after one year 
after 2 or 3 years
mrs dallison and i were going out for 5 years before we moved in together. we were in college so we were ready for it.
one good thing about living togethter b/f marriage, you find out what habits your future spouse has.
you may have never had a fight the entire time you go out and live separate, and you think all is well.
you may find out that you can't stand living with each other having to be around each other 24 hours a day.
that is very hard to do in a relationship, getting along all the time. esp living with them.
after 2 or 3 years
mrs dallison and i were going out for 5 years before we moved in together. we were in college so we were ready for it.
one good thing about living togethter b/f marriage, you find out what habits your future spouse has.
you may have never had a fight the entire time you go out and live separate, and you think all is well.
you may find out that you can't stand living with each other having to be around each other 24 hours a day.
that is very hard to do in a relationship, getting along all the time. esp living with them.
Pink things in...
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 570
Likes: 0
From: Chantilly, VA (northern va)
Originally Posted by darksom1
Not because I don't/do these things, but things to think about! 
"When you do...and when you don't...live with her!"
When you don't live with her:
You don't clean up after yourself
You fart everywhere uninhibited
Invite friends over whenever you want
Eat what you want, when you want
Don't wipe off the edge of the toilet after a leak
Don't always flush the toilet
Beer o'clock
Look at what you want on TV as loud as you want
Play what you want on the stereo as loud as you want
Have use of the computer ALL the time
Jerk off in total privacy and can hold it and fall asleep with it in your hand
Walk around naked
Total peace and solitude except when you don't want it
Go and come as you please
You are the ruler of your domain, balls of steel!
When you DO live with her...to avoid drama, and live correct (for u women out there reading):
1)Have to pick your shit up
2)You must go outside, in bathroom, or in closet to fart - or hold it
3)Friends must be scheduled...or what friends? lol
4)There are now grocery lists, feeding times, and a menu
5)Must get your hair, spillage, and fecal remains off the seat
6)Flush...even if you just spit
7)Drink responsibly (read: when she isn't around to belabor the point)
8)Watch programs together (read: Lifetime channel, particularly "The Burning Bed")
9)No music, you'll wake the baby! "But we don't have a baby sweetie." Then we'll make one so you'll turn that shit off!
10)Emails and marriage workshops only! Internet Security Suite now installed to curb late night porno and AZ viewing!
11)Jerk off in a closet, even when she is not there, because you know she will be back any moment and ruin everything you have fantasized about today!
12)You now wear flannel pj's! Nuff said!
13)Have to listen to her from the time she wakes up, when you get home from work, and until she falls asleep either talking bout her dream she had, her day at work, and how you better not be dreaming about no other bitches when you go to sleep!
14)
...need I say more?
15)
...you were saying??
But hey...who's counting?
"When you do...and when you don't...live with her!"
When you don't live with her:
You don't clean up after yourself
You fart everywhere uninhibited
Invite friends over whenever you want
Eat what you want, when you want
Don't wipe off the edge of the toilet after a leak
Don't always flush the toilet
Beer o'clock
Look at what you want on TV as loud as you want
Play what you want on the stereo as loud as you want
Have use of the computer ALL the time
Jerk off in total privacy and can hold it and fall asleep with it in your hand
Walk around naked
Total peace and solitude except when you don't want it
Go and come as you please
You are the ruler of your domain, balls of steel!
When you DO live with her...to avoid drama, and live correct (for u women out there reading):
1)Have to pick your shit up
2)You must go outside, in bathroom, or in closet to fart - or hold it
3)Friends must be scheduled...or what friends? lol
4)There are now grocery lists, feeding times, and a menu
5)Must get your hair, spillage, and fecal remains off the seat
6)Flush...even if you just spit
7)Drink responsibly (read: when she isn't around to belabor the point)
8)Watch programs together (read: Lifetime channel, particularly "The Burning Bed")
9)No music, you'll wake the baby! "But we don't have a baby sweetie." Then we'll make one so you'll turn that shit off!
10)Emails and marriage workshops only! Internet Security Suite now installed to curb late night porno and AZ viewing!
11)Jerk off in a closet, even when she is not there, because you know she will be back any moment and ruin everything you have fantasized about today!
12)You now wear flannel pj's! Nuff said!
13)Have to listen to her from the time she wakes up, when you get home from work, and until she falls asleep either talking bout her dream she had, her day at work, and how you better not be dreaming about no other bitches when you go to sleep!
14)
...need I say more?15)
...you were saying??But hey...who's counting?
OMG! TOO FUNNY! It's especially funny with all the smilies!
Amazingly, my husband doesn't have to do any of that stuff.
Anyways, i think that 1 year is too soon, however you should live together after getting engaged though.
In my case, I moved in with my husband after 1 year and 1 month. We knew we were going to be set for marriage though and we did the weekly 'test runs' and knew it was going to be okay. We got engaged 5 months later and then got married 6 months after that.
I know it's hypocritical advice, however, there was never resistance in my case. If you're going to get engaged, then do it and then talk with her again about moving in together - she may have some new thoughts about it. Good luck!
sup
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,147
Likes: 1
From: NYC
i live with my gf, and it's usually no problem at all, I kind of like it. I was sort of a neat person to begin with, so now i have a nice, clean appt and i don't have to deal with a roommate who doesn't deal with his shit.
But like darksom1 says, there are a few things. Her shows take priority :rollseyes: although she has gotten better at watching them when I'm not there. she doesn't like it when i play videogames on the surround system because its too loud and abrasive. we have a one bedroom loft type thing, with no separation between the bedroom (upstairs) and the living room (downstairs). So having friends over is a real pain in the ass, especially during the week, cause she goes to bed early-ish.
but you know what, i think the sacrifices are worth it. you each give up autonomy, but you get the benefits of always coming home to a friendly face. who you can later nail in bed (lol although forget having sex every time you see her.)
But like darksom1 says, there are a few things. Her shows take priority :rollseyes: although she has gotten better at watching them when I'm not there. she doesn't like it when i play videogames on the surround system because its too loud and abrasive. we have a one bedroom loft type thing, with no separation between the bedroom (upstairs) and the living room (downstairs). So having friends over is a real pain in the ass, especially during the week, cause she goes to bed early-ish.
but you know what, i think the sacrifices are worth it. you each give up autonomy, but you get the benefits of always coming home to a friendly face. who you can later nail in bed (lol although forget having sex every time you see her.)
You want me to break it?
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,871
Likes: 0
From: Dallas
My wife and I lived together for a year before we got married - I'd highly reccommend it. Not for the easy benefits as those can be had anytime, but to see if you are logistically compatible. Not to make it sound too cold, but some people have some disgusting ass habits that would just make me run no matter how hard I fell for them. Living together let's you confirm two things: 1) We can tolerate each other (who snores, leaves bath towels on the floor, etc). 2) We won't be trying to kill one another if we have to spend most of our time together.
Move in together before you commit - it's better to find out now if it's not gonna last.
BTW, I'm Catholic by upbringing so we were living in sin for over a year before the minister made it official.
Move in together before you commit - it's better to find out now if it's not gonna last.
BTW, I'm Catholic by upbringing so we were living in sin for over a year before the minister made it official.
You want me to break it?
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,871
Likes: 0
From: Dallas
Originally Posted by darksom1
Not because I don't/do these things, but things to think about!
"When you do...and when you don't...live with her!"
When you don't live with her:
You don't clean up after yourself
You fart everywhere uninhibited
Invite friends over whenever you want
Eat what you want, when you want
Don't wipe off the edge of the toilet after a leak
Don't always flush the toilet
Beer o'clock
Look at what you want on TV as loud as you want
Play what you want on the stereo as loud as you want
Have use of the computer ALL the time
Jerk off in total privacy and can hold it and fall asleep with it in your hand
Walk around naked
Total peace and solitude except when you don't want it
Go and come as you please
You are the ruler of your domain, balls of steel!
When you DO live with her...to avoid drama, and live correct (for u women out there reading):
1)Have to pick your shit up
2)You must go outside, in bathroom, or in closet to fart - or hold it
3)Friends must be scheduled...or what friends? lol
4)There are now grocery lists, feeding times, and a menu
5)Must get your hair, spillage, and fecal remains off the seat
6)Flush...even if you just spit
7)Drink responsibly (read: when she isn't around to belabor the point)
8)Watch programs together (read: Lifetime channel, particularly "The Burning Bed")
9)No music, you'll wake the baby! "But we don't have a baby sweetie." Then we'll make one so you'll turn that shit off!
10)Emails and marriage workshops only! Internet Security Suite now installed to curb late night porno and AZ viewing!
11)Jerk off in a closet, even when she is not there, because you know she will be back any moment and ruin everything you have fantasized about today!
12)You now wear flannel pj's! Nuff said!
13)Have to listen to her from the time she wakes up, when you get home from work, and until she falls asleep either talking bout her dream she had, her day at work, and how you better not be dreaming about no other bitches when you go to sleep!
14)...need I say more?
15)...you were saying??
But hey...who's counting?
"When you do...and when you don't...live with her!"
When you don't live with her:
You don't clean up after yourself
You fart everywhere uninhibited
Invite friends over whenever you want
Eat what you want, when you want
Don't wipe off the edge of the toilet after a leak
Don't always flush the toilet
Beer o'clock
Look at what you want on TV as loud as you want
Play what you want on the stereo as loud as you want
Have use of the computer ALL the time
Jerk off in total privacy and can hold it and fall asleep with it in your hand
Walk around naked
Total peace and solitude except when you don't want it
Go and come as you please
You are the ruler of your domain, balls of steel!
When you DO live with her...to avoid drama, and live correct (for u women out there reading):
1)Have to pick your shit up
2)You must go outside, in bathroom, or in closet to fart - or hold it
3)Friends must be scheduled...or what friends? lol
4)There are now grocery lists, feeding times, and a menu
5)Must get your hair, spillage, and fecal remains off the seat
6)Flush...even if you just spit
7)Drink responsibly (read: when she isn't around to belabor the point)
8)Watch programs together (read: Lifetime channel, particularly "The Burning Bed")
9)No music, you'll wake the baby! "But we don't have a baby sweetie." Then we'll make one so you'll turn that shit off!
10)Emails and marriage workshops only! Internet Security Suite now installed to curb late night porno and AZ viewing!
11)Jerk off in a closet, even when she is not there, because you know she will be back any moment and ruin everything you have fantasized about today!
12)You now wear flannel pj's! Nuff said!
13)Have to listen to her from the time she wakes up, when you get home from work, and until she falls asleep either talking bout her dream she had, her day at work, and how you better not be dreaming about no other bitches when you go to sleep!
14)
...need I say more?15)
...you were saying??But hey...who's counting?
sup
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,147
Likes: 1
From: NYC
i think if you move in, there are good times, and there are bad times. There are times where it iwll be amazing, and you will happy as shit, and othertimes when you will want to pull your hair out. I was actually going through an old personal blog i used to keep, just for shit and giggles, and i stumbled onto this gem (excerpt)
"I don't know what to do....I guess I won't do anything. But this feeling keeps resurfacing. The feeling of frustration. The feeling of "she doesn't challenge me" (which is really bullshit, and probably another way of saying that she's boring). I feel like I'm always the one pushing fun things to do (well fun in my opinion, at least), which probably lean towards the more juvinile side. But who cares? I'm not ready for adulthood yet. I feel like I'm with a 35 year old woman, and I'm 23. Anyways, I don't know what to do, and its really upsetting.
Do I withdraw emotionally? No cuddly for no sexy? Do I say something? Do i pretend like it doesn't bother me? I've said things in the past, but they lead nowhere.....well they always lead to me fucking apologizing for some reason. Its like I'm always in the wrong because I'm a guy, i want sex, and I want to have fun. She makes me feel like i'm the one not behaving like an adult, and I'm out of line. It's always like no tom, I'm tired, no i'm cold, no i don't want to do that, no that's immature. Don't play music. I don't want you to play your videogames, but I want to watch my shitty girl TV shows. I almost always put her interests above mine, and then when I want something, I get nothing."
I'm guessing that a lot of these things are pretty standard, and a lot of it was being caught up in the moment. One year later, things are going pretty well, we've kinda adjusted to each other. Just realize that there are ups and downs.
"I don't know what to do....I guess I won't do anything. But this feeling keeps resurfacing. The feeling of frustration. The feeling of "she doesn't challenge me" (which is really bullshit, and probably another way of saying that she's boring). I feel like I'm always the one pushing fun things to do (well fun in my opinion, at least), which probably lean towards the more juvinile side. But who cares? I'm not ready for adulthood yet. I feel like I'm with a 35 year old woman, and I'm 23. Anyways, I don't know what to do, and its really upsetting.
Do I withdraw emotionally? No cuddly for no sexy? Do I say something? Do i pretend like it doesn't bother me? I've said things in the past, but they lead nowhere.....well they always lead to me fucking apologizing for some reason. Its like I'm always in the wrong because I'm a guy, i want sex, and I want to have fun. She makes me feel like i'm the one not behaving like an adult, and I'm out of line. It's always like no tom, I'm tired, no i'm cold, no i don't want to do that, no that's immature. Don't play music. I don't want you to play your videogames, but I want to watch my shitty girl TV shows. I almost always put her interests above mine, and then when I want something, I get nothing."
I'm guessing that a lot of these things are pretty standard, and a lot of it was being caught up in the moment. One year later, things are going pretty well, we've kinda adjusted to each other. Just realize that there are ups and downs.
Last edited by ViperrepiV; Mar 3, 2008 at 11:28 PM.
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