So I am pretty much done what I needed to do with my life at this point in my life (23), at least I think...

I am done with college, paid off my student loan, have a decent car, have a good job and bought a home with my bro/sis since home is so freaking rediculous near Seattle... (Going tangent here, bought the home ~10months ago for 430,000 now I heard the same model home in the same neighborhood is said to sell for ~620,000 3 months from now since its not for sale yet! CRAAZY!)

Anyways, back to the topic, a certain percentage of me (I dont know how much) is feeling like I want to get into a serious relationship with a decent girl... But the drawback to that is if you notice I said DECENT girl, a decent girl is sooooo hard to find nowadays!!!

Most girls under 25, not all are either not mature or are in a "partying" zone and don't have a care for her future or anybody for that matter, not a good characteristic for a serious relationship. (girls are difficult to understand anyways, they play too much mind games, maybe I am wrong, so correct me if I am?)

Now the other side of me is like, I don't need a girl in my life... but every now and then I get lonely and need that feminine companionship... But its difficult to find that "someone special" that you can click with.

Anyone feel like that? I really dont know what to do... I just feel like nowadays, people are just in relationships for the sex, which isnt bad but sex is not gonna last through old age!!!

Hopefully, the response are from people in the same boat!

 

I'm not sure what your question is, but none the less, I am in the exact same boat down to the letter - except I am still a renter. (ironic considering my career is in real estate)

I am definitly at the point in my life where all I feel like I have left to find is a companion to share my life with. I'm out of school, in a career i'll retire in, starting to build considerable income and assets, etc. What else is left? In my opinion, all thats left is to find someone to share it with.

The flip side is I am in a relationship with a girl who is nowhere near this point in her life. Long story short, she is just sex and companionship until I stumble upon a girl that is on my level. She is a freshman in community college, lives with her parents and is still feeling her life out. Its unfortunate because our relationship is perfect in all respects, however, i am ready to settle down and she is not.

I feel what you are saying except I am not conflicted about what I want. Having accomplished everything I wanted to prepare myself to settle down, all i have left to do now is to settle down.

 

I dont really have a question per say, but more seeing if anyone out there is in the same boat and how they are dealing with it?

Maybe suggestions of places to meet girls that have an intellectual mind, decent body, and strong spiritual/religious beliefs as you? If I find this girl tomorrow, I can swear I would marry her on the spot!

 

Don't feel so bad, you have alot of time left! I am 33, bought my own home, and have been doing the same job since I was 17. I feel pretty well accomplished in my job and in my life but, like you, would like to someday find a great guy to spend some time with. I am a pretty independant girl though and I never wanted to "settle" for anyone who I don't hit it off with as a companion. I do agree that alot of relationships are pursued mostly for physical connections, but not always. Physical attraction is just the way most relationships begin. I think that the reason you have it on your mind more now is because you have all other aspects of your life in place. I don't really think you can hunt for the right girl, it just has to happen on it's own. If you stay active doing the kind of things that you like to do, you will find a girl with the some of the same interests as you. That's a start!

 

get a mail order bride from Russia or the Philipines. Trust me.

 

Give it time, life will throw you around eventually...just when you think you have it figured out, no matter how set in life you think you are. I am in a similiar situation as you, good job, car, even have the girl...I was planning on getting married soon and buying a place and then some shit happened and now I'm stuck in the house for a little while and marriage is on hold for a while, a lot of financial decisions have to be made. You get the point.

If you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans.

 

I don't think its a matter of finding a decent girl, most every girl I've met is a decent girl. Its more about finding someone who you connect with, someone who is truly special to you - believe it or not woman are looking for the same thing from a guy... though they have a different way of looking for him. There is no secret to meet the right girl, it just happens, the tumbler's of fate will put you two together. You have to work like a slave before you live like a king. I am not saying love at first sight is the ticket, but when you meet a woman you click with it's obvious and its fun. All of your "rules" and your "list" get thrown out the window and you do what ever it takes to be with her..... I don't care how big of a player a guy is, one day one woman will catch his attention in a way no other has before and next thing you know their married and raising 2.3 kids in suburbia.

....or you stay here and post about what went wrong

 

 

anyone else notice that there seems to be a ton of single guys, but not that many single girls??? Or atleast none you'd want to date? I'm in the same boat, and alot of my guy friends are too, but it seems every girl i'd like to date, is either married, engaged, or has a boy friend.... Alot of my girlfriends give me the" I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend" thing. I have to tell them it's not from lack of trying. I just don't get it.

I went out on a date with this girl last week. Cool girl, but nothing was there for me. She said" your a good looking guy, how come you don't have a girlfriend?" I'm like" your the girl, you tell me???"

 

Sweet !! I'm getting a catalog in the mail soon

 

Last night, some guy called my fiance and asked her if she was single. Of course she said she was taken, but I could tell she was flattered. What woman wouldn't right? So today at work, this lady came in and out of nowhere asked me if I was single. Hehehe...Take that fiance!

 

where my gf works many of the girls there who are under 30 still bum off their parents and in that party zone. pretty sad

 

Good one!

 

Ha! That's funny, I always feel the same way about the single men! I guess it is just perception. They've got to be out there, just not as easy to meet.

 

Dont rush into anything. There are definietly a lot of "decent" girls out there but you feel like you never find them if you are looking for them..... Just go on about your day to day activities and you will find someone.

 

That is the ticket, it never happens when your looking.

 

I don't know if there is such a thing as set in life. I feel like I am getting to that point, but I will have to do a lot of traveling in my future career. I don't think I will be set until I make 100k, then I can afford to start having a broad bark up my tree.

 

you'll have more fun too when you aren't trying so hard to find that "special" someone.

And what's wrong with meaningless sex while you are "not" looking?

 

I wouldnt say there is anything wrong with it, but meaningless sex does nothing for me.
I would rather masturbate then fuck just anyone

 

 

Ya never know, a perfect girl might just IM you one day.

 

Well I guess it's different for girls.....too much work involved to get the juices flowing. For most guys, it's just hit it and quit it. No foreplay, no cuddling, no "I'll call you tomorrow," not having to satisfy the other person, no worries, ......hmmm... kinda llike self-love, I mean masterbation.

 

To me its deeper- but go figure.

Im a woman

 

"You're not paying the hooker for the sex, you're paying her to leave afterwards."

Am I the only one who disagrees with this? I've NEVER found this to be true.

 

I think people now-a-days become jaded with the dateing scene. I think we all forget that it does take work. The easy ones seem to be the wrong ones, atleast for me.......

 

Don't go out with the mindset of trying to meet a girl to be your serious girlfriend, thats a disaster waiting to happen. If the girl is serious girlfriend material for you it will work itself out as you get to know each other. Just be yourself, don't push things.


And...if the only reason you are looking for a girlfriend is because you feel like you've done everything else you want to do...maybe you should expand your horizons. Life has a lot more to offer you than a house and a car.

 

house, job, car, - nice - worthwhile goals. Now, it's time to expand your horizons. Other activities - social or political activism, recreational activities, all of the stuff you didn't have time for when you were in school. And - getting involved in those is an ideal way to meet folks, some of whom will become friends, and one may become a life partner............

I met my wife at work and we formed a professional relationship, then a friendship, then a romance.......

At the age of 56, I expect my horizons to continue to expand until the day I die......

 

I always found it to be true. Whether it be a meaningless hookup or LTR, they always seem to happen when i'm least expecting or least wanting it.

 

So true, easy come/easy go as they say! I seem to sorta skip the dating scene really, I just choose to spend my time doing things that interest me. Along the way I have met some really nice people. Sooner or later I may find someone who is right for me, but in the meanwhile I always have a nice time doing my own thing.

 

http://www.singlebrides.com/
http://www.bridesagency.com/
http://www.cafetropic.com/
http://www.afilipina.com/
http://www.goodwife.com/

Yeah I looked into it

 

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/

 

IF you're feelin lonely; just beat-off. It ALWAYS work!

 

You're 23 and your life is complete....man are YOU gonna be bored for about 60 years.....I think you'll discover that your life has barely begun

 

haha, I sure hope its not gonna be boring for the next 60 years if I even make it that far! Its just I meet girls and the ones that are into me, I am not so much into them and vice versa... Strange how things are (at least for me).

Plus, I think in one way or another I am influenced by the media where I see these rediculously "Hot" girls on tv and I am hoping to find someone that looks like them... Impossible? Who knows!

 

The girls are just the icing on the cake. Life holds so many opportunites and surprises. Hold out for the girls that curls your toes. you'll know her when she comes along...

 

you should write a book

 

teach now how to buy a house at age 23...and i'll give you key to finding the perfect mate

 

Two problems - 1) You're looking for a supermodel - good luck with that one. Looks are nice and all, but there's alot more to making a relationship/life with someone than "you remind me of so and so on TV". 2) You are going out there with the mindset of I'm gonna find and marry a girl. Just go out and have fun. I call it the shotgun approach - throw enough shots out there and one of them is gonna hit something. If it's not right so be it, repeat. Just go with it and have fun. Love is a weird thing. Once you have a wife/kid I think you'll find that you haven't really accomplished much in life yet and that there is ALOT more out there to be done. All the sudden your priorities will change. Good luck regardless -

 

Easy... You need money. Especially in/near places like Seattle... It's rediculous! Thats why I didnt buy it by myself... But Hopefully in 4.5 years we'll be able to pay it off!