what would you do in a situation like these two:

1. Guy asks a girl who is somewhat of a friend (IE you have talked in the past more than hi/bye but nothing to far indepth) out on a date to an event and she agrees. A few minutes later she says that on that day she'll be on a trip on that day and a few days before and after. The day comes when you were supposed to go out and you see her at a night-club with her friends.

Would you confront her about it or leave it alone and move on?

Now a different girl at a later date and time:
2. Guy asks a girl he knew as a friend a few years prior and lost touch with. They hit it off during their brief conversation when they meet and decide to go on a date later on the next week. A few days before the date she cancels and says she has to attend to something else. The day of the date comes and you see on her Facebook/Twitter/Social Networking site that she went out with another guy and had a fun time on a first date.

Would you confront her about it or leave it alone and move on?

 

I wouldn't confront in either case, but that's also my natural personality. Here's a crazy third scenario that happened to me, just for humor's sake .

I set up a date with a girl. On the night of the date, girl's friend has unexpected life event and ends up coming along as a third wheel. Hanging out at a bar, my date picks up a random guy to be a blind date for her friend. The rest of the night is fun, my date is all over me throughout the night.

Two days later, my date cuts off all communication with me. A month or so later, I see her facebook profile has a picture of her and the blind date guy, with a date stamp around a week after our date. Turns out they're now engaged and will be married sometime around the 1yr anniversary of that night.

So, that experience told me that if a girl avoids you for any reason, it's for your own good. Count your blessings and move on.

 

In the first scenario, I'd try to make the girl know that I saw her without confronting her per se, if that's possible.

Second scenario, I wouldn't do anything.

 

I wouldn't question them in either situation --- they've made it apparent they didn't want to go out at the time, so why question them as to why not? They gave you a clear sign that they'd rather meet with other people right now, so leave it alone. An explanation won't change it.

 

Take it from me ALL GIRLS SUCK! LITERALLY. All girls ever really give a shit about is ATTENTION and knowing they still have it. Its like a high for them. I am going through a divorce after EIGHT YEARS of being nothing but faithful, honest and loving to my wife......................but she just couldnt resist FACEBOOK and all the attention she got from it. Eventually led to lies and CHEATING! Oh, by the way she did this all while I just bought a beautiful house for us, bought her a new Camry SE, and finding out my mother has cancer. So not only did she shoot me in the face but she also ran me over a few times with a bus to make sure I was dead. My conclusion to this: Always expect the unexpected. I thought I had the perferct life, I thought this could never happen to me. Well, good thing we dont have any kids.

 

they werent interested in the guy to begin with.

 

Believe me, I sympathize with you. Different circumstances, but same end result for me. It's going to take some time, but you'll have to develop a positive outlook for yourself and start putting yourself first.

Your excessively negative attitude is understandable and quite justified, but don't let it become your new permanent way of life. If you do, your perception will be a self-fulfilling reality, since if you remain negative, you will only attract negative experiences.

Best of luck in your recovery and future prospects.

 

I agree with Aman. First one, I'd just walk by and smile and say "Have a good night". Thereby allowing me to roam the club without any ducking and dodging.

The second one? Nothing. No need.

 

Anachostic, glad to see you're feeling so much better. Good direction you gave there.

 

Ah, you remember. That's very kind and thoughtful of you. Yes, I have made a lot of progress and I'm trying to share an enlightened perspective from my recent experiences.

 

Shes's just not in to them

 

werd.

On to the next.

 

No need to duck and dodge either way, or inconvenience yourself....get on with your night and have a good time. If you run into each other, cool - if not, who cares. He can still enjoy himself regardless.

Since neither (A) nor (B) are in a meaningful relationship with him, they don't owe him any explanation as to why they weren't truthful or why they weren't interested. My guess is they just aren't good on the fly and couldn't come up with a respectful way to turn down the date when put on the spot and so did it with excuses and lies to save face (for them and perhaps his feelings too....obviously not expecting him to find out the truth so openly).

 

I let my buddy read this thread and he's leaving #2 alone. #1 is really pissing him off though and he wanted to do either of these:

1. Screen shot of text message screen blatantly showing lie with a caption "thanks" or caption "No more You"

2. Send a short message saying how he's been pushed around and this was the last straw with the lie and being strung along.

I'm trying to talk him out of it but lets see how it goes...

 

Move on. There is something about being lied too that really pisses me off.

 

Personally, I'd leave it be in both circumstances.

Not trying to sound abrupt or callous, but why bother? Both girls made their decisions and that's the end of it. Both girls could have been honest why they chose to cancel the dates, but chose not to. If this is their behaviour, they're certainly not worth dwelling or caring over.







Terry

 

no to both, and cut communication.

 

That's just vengeful. There is nothing to gain from those actions but bad karma.

 

I vote definitly not to follow-up. Not worth any more time regardless of having a slightly bruised ego.

 

I just got done talking with him and told him exactly what you posted. Now he's gone all quiet and isn't saying a word to anyone. I guess he's thinking of something his crazy brain but only he knows.

 

sux, he shouldnt dwell on it.

 

Unfriend them on facebook.

 

Hopefully he leaves this one alone.

I was "leave it alone" on both counts on the original questions. Because taking any action will only lead to more frustration. You can't "get back" at someone who doesn't care to begin with.

 

I would say leave them alone for both. Sounds like neither chick was interested in him. Frankly both girls sound like they're ignorant bitches but girls are gonna do whatever they want. Your boy needs to find girls that aren't selfish hoes

 

There is but one way to combat indifference, which is what both of these girls demonstrated, is with indifference of your own.

In the first case, I do have to admit that I would seriously entertain the thought of hitting on one of her friends. I definitely would not try to hide, there is no reason to.

The second case really is just plain bad luck. You were there when she found her "one true love," and it wasn't you. It also wasn't roughly 3 billion or so other guys too, so move on.

 

Werd. Neither chick is even worth the dude's time of day. He's stooping to their immaturity by trying to exact revenge or "even the score." The best way to get even is to not waste any more time with them. OTW he's just perpetuating their ignorant behavior. Some chicks get off on dissing guys as a way to feed their insecurity and low self-esteem. Eventually one day it's going to happen to them.

 

If he lashes out, he's just stooping to their immaturity

 

i vote WTF mate......


you have a messed up situation........

 

Exactly. Not worth the time. And if the interest isn't there from the beginning, it will likely never exist.

 

this is not me with the women; it's a friend!

I don't know if he defriended them but he did say that he's leaving it alone. He was pretty cheery today like nothing ever happened. I guess he's growing up!

 

The first one is worth "confronting", but in a deceiving way....Like you bump into them. I think this would be worth "owning". No need to go off on somelike, but more of a "Heyyyyy didnt expect to see you here" in a sarcastic, but funny way. Mind tricks.


I originally voted "confront" for the second one, but let the record show that confrontation isnt needed.

 

Move on from both. They both don't deserve any more of your friend's time. Each moment he spends thinking of a way to get back at them or confront could be better spent going out and meeting new more worthwhile girls. Just put them on ignore and if you happen to run into them, just be courteous with a "hi how are you" and after that just leave them be.

 

This

 

#1 make eye contact with and give a weird/dirty look but move on (or hit on her friends as mentioned above). but don't "confront."

#2 leave it. you can't get back at someone who doesn't care.

Hopefully this "guy" will find more girls that can be upfront and honest and don't need to lie to show they aren't interested.

 

Cease contact with both women. They will either A. wonder why the dude is giving them the cold shoulder and pursue or B. go on with their lives

Being hard pressed enough to confront them will only result in more hurt feelings

 

In the first situation.. I'd go say hi to her and buy her a drink.. but instead of alcohol it's my piss.


In the second situation.. I'd pester the fuck out of her for a date.. then when she agrees.. don't show up.


But in both situations.. I wouldn't confront either, all you gain is the loss of your own self respect.. both of those bitches aren't worth it.

 

shes just not that into you. there is nothing to confront.

you barely know her..




end of story

 

unless these two girls are the only girls he has actually got to talk to the last 10 years.. why is he soo bitter.... its just women.. they come and go as dates.. if they dont like you... then they dont like you lol...

 

1st one. id go dance with the chick. lmao

2nd one i wouldnt give a fuck

 

I say confront them both. But for different reasons. And I would not really be pushy about either.

1. Confront her because what do you have to lose? You have nothing invested. At the very least you may learn that your approach was probably flawed. Or maybe you convince her to give you another shot (unlikely...but again, what do you have to lose)

2. She is a friend. Doesn't seem like a good one though.

Either situation sucks. Could be that your friend is really bad at reading signs.

I guess I am not big on playing games. If I want to say something I don't usually hold back.