lancer

Ok, so I just need to vent because I dont know what to do or to make up my mind.

Heres the quick situation,

My age- 20
GF age- 18
Been dating 2 years now
First long term relationship

We started dating back during my senior of HS. Everything was amazing, best gf ive ever had. We broke up when I went to college because her parents didnt want me to see her since they thought I would just take advantage of her. That was about 6 months after we started dating. So we broke up for my first semester of college. I had an amazing time with just messing around with random chicks. But eventually I really just wanted to be with her, and we worked out things with her parents and got back together since my college wasnt far from home. That was a 4 month gap.

Now we have been dating ever since, but its been getting slowly and slowly more dull and boring. This has been the only girl I have ever loved and ever cared for as much. And I still do. But things just always seem boring. We always have the same phone convos and we never do anything exciting anymore. Sex is boring. And lately Ive been thinking about how fun I used to have it when I was on a break with her and I was mingling with other chicks.

Here is the kicker. Im about to move to a new college here in a week. So now Im going to have a boring AND long distant relationship. Part of me wants to pursue new options but im always brought back because I cant break up with her. I feel like I have too much invested with her, and that it would completely destroy her if we broke up. I cant do that to the girl I still love.

I know it seems like I just want to break up, but its not. I still really love her and I bet I couldnt bring myself to break up with her just cause I know what would happen to her, and that I could possibly regret it in 2 or 3 months.

How have some of you guys that experience similar experiences handled this, and do you regret it. Or what are some tips to improve my relationship.

Im now stuck in a boring relationship with a girl I love but at the same time Im tempted to move on.

AcuracltypeS03

Well i think u need to stop seein her everyday and just like have fun but tell her that you cant keep up with this stuff all the times.. Anyways u are young man go have fun dude dont just go to her house everyday that gets bored.. But thats what i did with my EX and it worked out..

Mockenrue

This is one of the worst reasons to stay together with someone. I cringe when I hear people say it, especially at your age. Think about your future if you stay together. It will go one of two ways:

You break up later anyway - you still get all the pain, but you miss out on some of your prime time, maybe a lot.

You get married - you're already getting bored, so it's hard to imagine your marriage lasting. It's a lot tougher if you have to deal with divorce.

Another big problem is that it's your first long term relationship (and most likely hers too). If you marry your first real gf, you'll always wonder what another would be like. It won't be easy, but it's best for both of you if you're honest with yourself and her now, and not years down the road.

lancer

I understand that it is one of the worst reasons to stay together, but also its because of that fact makes it extremely hard to break up.

To be fair, Im just to blame as she is. I have become boring and monotonous, which is I feel due to my current living situation. Im working 50 hours a week and staying at my parents house in order to save up when I move out again.

I think actually having a long distance relationship will help our relationship at this point in time. It gives us space, and time to grow seperatly. Plus I will be very satisfied with my new living arrangement. And she will be attending the same college in 7 months, so it wont be terrible.

Mockenrue

I gotta disagree with you again on this point. One or both of you is going to meet someone more exciting. What then? Either you may miss out, you may cheat, or at the very lesat, you'll have to deal with a lot of drama.

You seem like a good guy, and I'm not trying to say just give up. You might make it work and live happily ever after. But getting bored at 20 is not good... I've seen this story a lot of times before, and it usually doesn't end well.

mystikk

There's only a select few things to do to rekindle your relationship, but if these few options are what it takes to get the relationship going again on your part, that's when you say this relationship's over.

I kinda had the same situation with my ex, everything got boring because we'd do the same damn things every day .. I go over to her house, we talk, hang out, watch movie whatever .. very rarely we do anything else, and eventually she and I got tired of it, but we waited too long to break up and started fighting. Why we waited so long? Same reason you're saying .. we invested too much into the relationship to let go, and it's actually more painful now because we pretty much hate each other.

What I say is, let the girl go .. it's better for the both of you in the long run. If it's meant to be, then you'll be together again in the future but for now, we're young. Let's get wild and have fun.

leedogg

pretend like you're dating for the first time. Take a trip somewhere, cruise, whatever.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

My vote is to break up. If you're having sex with her and constantly thinking of how great it would be to be single and bang some other chick....that ain't good.

I think maybe you both need to take some time apart and maybe that will help.

Pull_T

Going to be in a "long distance relationship" with an 18 year old broad who is (I am presuming) a senior in high school or freshman in college...

Whether or not you break up with her really hinges on how you feel about your gf mouthing a bunch of dude's wangs while you are away.

AcuracltypeS03

Lets get wild..


I been geting my ass drunk over this winter break lol

AcuracltypeS03

If u dont get this one i tell u what he means by that and its also right..

He means when u go away to new college she going to start her 1st year of college then guys u know how it is in college girls automaticlly change in college trust me i have experinces by this... I would say just let her go...

fast-tl

I'm with Pull_T on this one. It's run its course for now, spread your love around, and if it's meant to be, then you'll find each other yet again. Break it off though, don't "put it on hold" or "take some space." Be clear that things aren't working for you right now.

CUNextTuesday

Cheat.

fast-tl

^^Fabolous says the entree ain't as good without somethin' on the side.

SwervinCL

I bet you do.....

AcuracltypeS03

What u mean by that??

Yes i do..

astro

^^

you're a god damn donkey, stop posting.

Pull_T

Thanks for clarifying what I wrote, AcuracltypeS03. Your commentary illuminated the entire angle I was trying to convey.

Titand19

Damn. You should do a search for all the other young pussies on here and their previous situations.

Love is such a weak word for a 20 yr old to use.

You're young man, just keep this girl on the side. Go to her when you have a problem and need some to talk to. There's nothing stopping you from banging other holes if she's not around. The only way she'd find out is if your ass tells her about it.

To solve your problem and make yourself at ease, you need to direct all your emotions at one single female. Love, in most situations, is a feeling that goes away after you pop your load. Sex you will learn is meaningless and 99% of the time is the same with whomever you're doing. While there are given differences based on physical and mental circumstances, when it all comes down to it, a hole is a hole. It's all pink on the inside...blah blah blah.

The moral of the story is that you can still experiement with other chicks and be with the one you "love." The problem starts to exist when you let her into your head and she starts looking around to inconsistancies. keep your story straight and never look back.

Mockenrue

^^

You should write cards for Hallmark.

lancer

Just cause Im 20 doesnt mean Im ignorant of what love is. Im an attractive guy and Ive pulled my fair share of girls, especially during our 4 month break, but I do know what love is even though Im young. It is what has made us still be together for 2 years. Its not just some fling, and obviously you do not know what love is if you think its ok to just lie and cheat with no conscious on someone you love.


On to the other point about that if we do a long distance shes gonna be sucking over guys dicks. Knowing this girl I highly doubt it. I should have mentioned I took her virginity so she has an EXTREME emotional attachment to me. Also she will be attending my same college in the fall so Im only going to live away from her for about 7 months. I would still be able to see her for about 5 days out of every month.

I think Im just gonna play it out and be prepared for whatever happens. If I find myself growing apart from her while we are living far away from eachother then Ill end it. If I find myself missing her and such then Ill just wait out the 7 months till she moves to where Im going. And I will make a much better effort on my part to be more interesting and keep things exciting.

Also her decision to go to my college has nothing to do with me at all. We both made that perfectly clear to eachother.

CLPowersWife

In my old age (lol) I've figured out that a good long-term relationship happens when you can be bored with the person but still want to be with them. When you're married to someone, you're stuck with them, whether things are boring or exciting. There's lots of times when Scott and I don't even talk to each other for days at a time, except to say things like, "Did you already change the trash in the bathroom, or have we just used less trash this week?"

My point is that if you're bored with her and you don't LIKE that, then you should move on. For now, at least. Maybe you guys should take a break till she's at college. There's a large difference in maturity between a junior in college and a senior in high school; once she's in college, too, then you'll have more in common, more things to talk about, things to do together, etc. Good luck!

Big Duhty

Couldn't have said it better myself.

ericajackhannahjamie?

If you find yourself in a dull and boring relationship, considering your age, I would recommend you break it off. You are too young and immature to hold a serious relationship.

EuRTSX

Mockenrue

I call on this one. Are you saying that nobody in college is mature enough to hold a real relationship? I had two of them, and some of my friends did too. 25 isn't that far away from 20, y'know.

whynot

Just do what your intuition tells you to... it's much better than consulting a bunch of car enthusiasts about it

CUNextTuesday

Are you saying that young = immature?

EuRTSX

Many of us are very mature for our age.

Another one of those you're young and naive comments.

wickedk24

You can't have your cake and eat it man. You can seriouly hurt her if you string her along while feeling like this. You may love her, but the question is "Are you still in love with her?" I say do what you have to do and break her heart now than suffer more consequences later on down the road. Plus you two are still young and definetly need to experience around before wanting to settle down. Just as you explained things are getting boring, that should be an eye opener for ya. Good luck man

lancer

Im definetly mature enough to handle a serious relationship. Also Im not stringing her along. If that was the case then that would mean Im just holding together the relationship until something better comes along. We have just hit a rough spot in the relationship, which I have admitted is my fault as well. Ive been working 60 hour weeks at a job that pretty labor intensive and it leaves me with little time and energy for her. Once I move I wont be working until the summer so i can concentrate on school.

I know Im young and we both need to experience other things in the future but just because we hit a rough spot doesnt mean im gonna jump ship and run when it becomes difficult. Im thinking things will greatly improve on my part of putting more into the relationship once I move and start a much better living arrangment for myself. And then she will be moving near me in 8 months.

I think it will work out.

wickedk24

Well from reading the thread starter and looking from the outside in, seems to me that you just feel sorry for her. Your only torturing yourself and her feelings. I've bolded some of your statements which with my perception why I say your stringing her along. Been there done that man. You ask for advice and that is the best that some of us can give you. Just hope you do the right thing for yourself and her.

ericajackhannahjamie?

hehehe. You took what I said out of context I meant lancer sounds a bit too immature for his age to be that serious that's all

Landocommando12

Relationships get boring. Some people like that and stay in them (We're settling down), some people always want something new and fun and don't do well in long term relationships. No matter how hot and fun a girl is, being around her all the time will eventually get boring.

The way I see it, even the hottest girl has someone who is tired of fuckin her.

lancer

I disagree with you. For my age Im extremely mature nor do I think I come off as being immature. All my thoughts have been logical and I dont think I have done anything immature. This is an issue adults much older than I aslo face everyday. But if thats the way you see me then so be it.

lancer

I am. But just like the title states Im just venting because at the time it was really bothering me and I didnt have any human interaction around me to get it off my mind. Plus I wanted to see how other people handled similar situations.

CL FWD SPEED

if you want to be mature about your situation then just break it off with her. Being with your gf while your thinking about seeing other girls.....seems very immature to me dude.......oh well....to each of his/her own.....whatever

Titand19

Yes it does, love is achieved once you have reached financial stability in a relationship

lancer

So you are saying poor people cant love?

whynot

^^^

cracking up so hard it brought my hang-over back....