1Louder

I think the bottom line is you have two choices if you want to stay with her: talk to her about it and see if she'll quit, or decide you'll live with it and move on. But by all means, make an attempt. Don't just throw in the towel.

Mature relationships must be able to survive these conversations. So if you are serious about her (or you think you might be), don't shy away from it. Because if you might be married one day, you'll need the skills (as a couple) to work this stuff out. Smoking won't be the last issue to talk out.

And if she freaks out at the idea of having this conversation, then I'm afraid you probably have a bigger issue to deal with than smoking. Couples need to be able to deal with tough topics.

A suggestion - do you have a habit she doen't like? Maybe offer to quit something along with her so your doing it together? Maybe she'll offer to limit when and where she does it as a starting point?

I'd definitly focus the conversation on your concern for her health, and the fact that the smoke smell is really hard to deal with. Don't make it about her "bad habit". And have some ideas about what you do that bug her too, so if she decides to throw a, "well you do X that really bugs me", you can go straight to, "how about you quit smoking and I'll quit X".

Good Luck!

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

My only suggestion with your deal breakers is don't ever be too absolute. It's a good way to end up old and alone. And remember it's a two way street...for every 1 thing you decide to deal with, there are probably 2 the other person has to overlook to love you back.

Eoanou

I'd agree with Rockstar; Sometimes strong relationships are forged on compromising where ever appropriate.

Understandably, smoking is a bit of a difficult compromise, however mentioning the smoking issue to her and telling her to limit the smoking to only specific situations may prove useful.

I'll use myself as an example, I dislike the smell of smoke/cigarettes as well, but with the ex I told her she couldn't smoke in the car or in the bed. Sometimes she beg me to allow her to smoke in the car and I told her she could do so outside the car and that I'd gladly pull over.

By the same token, as Rockstar pointed out, don't be to obstinate, understand that smoking for some individuals is a hard habit to stop. Putting the relationship on the line because of a particular habit or nuance is a bit childish, unless of course it's a serious issue, i.e. hardcore drug use, alcohol abuse, child abuse, or the sort.

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

^^^exactly...I agree with you back, sir.
Honestly, it all depends on where you're at and how INTO the person you are. You'll deal with a lot more from someone you're VERY attracted to that you have a future with than someone you're only casual about. When I met my fiancee...she was a smoker (cigs too )...my job doesn't allow it and I always hated people that did it all the time. I told her that although I would never expect her to change something she enjoyed about herself...I could only control what was ok for MY life.

Which was not to be with someone like that. Eventually, it kinda ironed itself out and she slowed and eventually quit. Life is about choices, and it's only fair to let everyone make their own once they are given all the fact and factors.

Aman

Rockstar and 1Louder said it best. If you find out she has a "deal-breaker", talk it out, if neither person can compromise, move on.

YeuEmMaiMai

smoker and excessive drinker and overly flirtatious girls are to be avoided at all costs.

Rapture

"But I'm not gonna do anything with him, so it's okay!"

YeuEmMaiMai

and we all know how that turns out lol

Anachostic

This thread suddenly became more relevant to me. Last night, the GF said she was considering having some tattoo work done (making an existing tattoo bigger). This has put our thus-far incredible relationship into a strangely uncomfortable place.

It all comes down to either me denying her something she wants and enjoys or her becoming something I don't like. Neither option is good. I can't say, ok, just this once, because then in the future it will happen again.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

I met these two french girls.
the one I want smokes cigarettes. ewwwww

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

How do I deal with deal breakers? I make them break up with me

TheChamp531

iTrader: (3)

Like a kit kat?

Rapture

Speaking of which...

Are French girls still overly hairy?

Majofo

Does she light up while smoking your dick? if not.. I don't see the problem.



Screw both, send me noodz.. kthx

Majofo

Not overly hairy.. just unwilling to shave what they have.

Rapture

Hair diaper?

leedogg

champ, who is that girl in your avatar? is that Trump's daughter? The resemblance is uncanny

Majofo

No Resemblance

Shay Maria

RLACM.jpg

arScQ.jpg

Majofo

:fapfap:

leedogg

The second pic without the hair turtle is MUCH better.

Aman

If she knew that it was a deal-breaker in the first place, then there's probably been a lot of thinking on her part, and at least she was comfortable enough to bring it up with you.

If I were you, I'd just reiterate how you feel. There isn't much more that you can do.

If I were her, I would put it off until something changed in the relationship. If you guys break up, she'll do her own thing. If you end up getting more serious, she'll probably put it off knowing how much it bothers you.

Good luck!

eh? spec

Maybe its an old fashioned mentality but I agree with you. For some reason I prefer girls to be just natural... but hey its very rare these days.

Rapture

From what I understand, tattoo work is "addictive" to some people. One becomes two, two becomes four, etc. So yeah I could definitely agree with you there.