Dr. Colorado

f'sho. like i said, up to 25% of sexually active adults in the u.s. are seropositive to hsv-2. that's 1 in 4 of you badboys on this forum, some with a higher likelihood than others.

to the op, sounds like you really dig this girl. having 2 kids is a lot of baggage too though unless you're desiring an "instant" family. everybody has different opinions, i avoid single moms like the plague (can you spell c-h-i-l-d-s-u-p-p-o-r-t?). of course, i may not be mature enough to look past this issue.

good luck and p.m. if you have any questions. you'd be surprised at people who have genital herpes, from 14 y/o girls to 85 y/o pea-skinners. docs, lawyers, college professors. asymptomatic transmission is what makes this disease such a public health nightmare.

1Louder

Oops. So you did type it... OK, I deserve this:

1BadCL-S

:lol:

WILLDOGS

So a bit of time later here is an update.

WE have been seeing each other quite a bit since I wrote this and I am seriously liking her alot. The more time we spend together the more we find out about each other and every answer she gives me, is exactly what I have been looking for in someone. I sometimes wish she wasn't so goddam perfect as far as our needs and wants are in a relationship. Yeah, i'm digging her, as much as I've been trying to fight it. I sometime wonder why I fight it.
I've been researching Herpes alot over the past few weeks, and I feel much better about it. The whole scary Stigma of HERPES kinda freaked me out, like anyone not educated about it. But the more I know the more I am not as worried anymore. Read up on HSV1 and HSV2 and you will see what I mean. There are so many people out there with it already, it is actually sick. 1 in 5 Americans have it. Yeah that I can be YOU, it is just that somewhere around 80% of infected people don't show signs of it.

I also think, what is the difference whether I met this chick who OUT RIGHTLY told me she has HSV2 or meeting some whore at a club, hitting it and turns out she gave me the herps? Or I met some other nice girl who didn't know she was infected until i've hit it and I get a few pimples on my skin ?It is just as easy to happen both ways. I'm actually happy she told me ahead of time.

Oh and here is an update to my Pro's Cons list:

There are a few other negatives that I have to weigh.
- Lives a good distance away (It's actually only about 11 miles or 20 mins away, not as bad as I made it sound)
- She doesn't drive (Not a huge deal at all. I always prefer to drive anyway)
- two Kids - These are Older Kids. one is 15, the other is 13. The 15 yo is out of her life due to issues they had. The 13yo is really a cool kid and they both love eachother. I think it is actually BETTER that they are older and don't need mom around as much as if I met somone with a toddler or infant who needs Mom all the time. This also shows me that she is not looking for a Daddy, since he will be 18 shortly and he wants to go away for school)
- teh Herps - See Above Statement

Positives
- Our personalities match 100%. More than any other female i've known (STILL TRUE)
- We make each other laugh all the time (STILL TRUE)
- Perfect Height for me (YUP)
- She's very cute and my preference in body type (SURE)
- Great communication both ways (VERY HONEST PERSON SO FAR- She is very open unlike my last relationship where everything was a secret
- Many things in common (We finish each others thoughts all the time. Scary at times.

Let me also add that I just came out of a relationship 2 months ago after being with the same girl over 7 YEARS. Although the last two years of it were complete shit and we finally fessed up to eachother mutually that it aint gonna get fixed.

The thing is difference between the two girls is that for my ex, I had to change who I was for the most part. I put up with that for 7 LONG YEARS, but I was blind and just thought everything would work out - it never did. My Bad. My ex was very secretive, always rather be out with girlfriends partying at clubs all night without checking in, could never get near her purse or phone, etc etc. It was a very trust strained relationship.

The thing with this new woman is that everything that I didn't like about my ex doesn't exisist with her. At all. All of the issues that brought up arguments with my ex, do not bring up arguments with this woman because we both share the same ideas on pretty much everything. It's almost like I feel someone is playing a joke on me bringing me this "perfect" woman into my life just to fuck with me.

Perhaps I'm just in that giddy new woman in my life fun mode, but maybe not. I guess time will tell. But all I know is that i am very happy right now. More happy than the last 7 years with the other lying, untrustworthy ho-bag.

BTW, No I have not hit it yet. But shit is getting really hot and heavy lately and I think it is only a matter of time. When the time comes, I think I will be fine. We've spoken about it numerous times and are planning it out.

- She has been on valtrex for a couple years
- No outbreaks since alomst a year ago.
- Condoms will be used
- She promises to tell me if she feels anything or notices anything visible at all. (yeah I'll be checking too lol)

As Long as she doesn't have an outbreak while i'm hitting it, on valtrex, and I use a condom, I think my risk is very low.

SupaRookie

what if you go down on her and you feel some bump!!? I think you going to get some action soon enough since you feel that she's so perfect.

darksom1

Hmmm...the dreaded "good and bad" dichotomy...she sounds like a really nice woman. Finally find someone special and there is always something! I say go for it! I wouldn't personally for previous reasons. But...If you have educated yourself on Herpes, are comfortable with it, and it is no longer a factor, then there is no reason not to. Good luck, and hopefully things work out for the best! Congratulations on finding a soulmate!

sasha

The fact that she told you about her condition at the start reflects her maturity and openness. She seems like a responsible individual in caring about other people's safety. Other girls would probably just keep it a secret so as not to scare a guy away.

As long as you know the facts and take extra precaution, then we can only wish you well!

ludachrisvt

iTrader: (2)

Do Not Do It

einsatz

But there's so much more to an intimate relationship than just intercourse!
How will you stay safe when doing other things? What if you finger her during foreplay? Will you have to wash your hands before you put a condom on? Because you know your fingers will be wet and you'll be touching the condom and your dick.
And what about going down on her? Will you use a dental dam every time? Have you ever used one?! It's not practical.

I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just pointing out other possible vectors for infection.

timmahh

What if.. you do it, you get the happies, and then you guys break up ???

BENDER08

"happies" for everyone

WILLDOGS

What if I met some other chick that didn't know she had it? I hit it hard for a few weeks/months, we break up and she leaves me with a little surprise.

Whats the difference?

At least I know what I am getting into. It is a bit freaky to some of you, but just look at the numbers and facts. Your Next hookup may in fact have herpes and you wouldn't know it till it's too itchy for you to cry about it.

The way I see it, my chance of getting herpes is similar to any of you in here that are on the dating/new relationship scene. Only difference is that I know what I am getting into from the get go. Anyone else dating on this board may not know that the person that they are about to sleep with tonight has it or not.

darksom1

You speak very highly of this woman Will. Are you going to give it some time before you have sex, or are you pretty much "in there" as far as that?

18anatak

Dude, I dunno....kinda sounds like playing russian roulette with ur dick.

doopstr

Hold old is she?

eclipse23

You will get herpes. You won't use a condom everytime.

darksom1

Will, have you seen that commercial on TV that talks about how you can get it even when the person is showing no signs or symptoms? As for your analogy about what if I was with someone that didn't tell me, or didn't know they had it and gave it to me versus your present situation, how about this counter:

It's one thing to be crossing the street and get hit by a car that you didn't see coming....but would you just jump out in the street in front of one on purpose that you DID see coming? I always thought the whole point of being warned beforehand was to serve as a tool to avoid harm, not to tell yourself "Well, what if I didn't know and it happened?"...

shnee

lol at 11 miles = "good distance away"
why doesn't a grown woman drive?

I say if you know the risks but are still willing to go through with it, you must be really into this woman. You seem like you are, and you are obviously going to be careful.
Honestly, if you think it's likely the relationship will end up somewhere serious, I think you should follow through.
It would be a shame to lose the perfect woman because of herpes.
I don't get it "down there" but I do on my mouth. I take a pill whenever it feels like I could possibly be getting one, and I haven't had a sore in a long time. The pill is essentially perfect in preventing a breakout.
I know they say you can transmit when you don't show signs, but I think that's a little BS. Not that it's impossible, but it just seems like it would be a lot less likely than if there were an open sore. Maybe I've deluded myself. BUT I've never transmitted it to any female (afaik, but they all knew I had it and think they would tell me if they got it).
I don't know what it's like having it on your junk, but on the mouth it's really just more annoying than anything. It's not the end of the world, and it's gone within a few days if you aren't treating it.
Of course, if you get it from her and then move on, you will be in her shoes when it comes to dating.

JJ4Short

This man speaks the truth

No man can resist the offer of a bare back vagina thrashing

I am RobG

Condom + Anal. Then you can see if you like each other after the first "sex"

RMATIC09

is it genital herpes or regular

1StGenCL

Rebound Herpes, just in case getting herpes wasnt bad enough

did any one else read that? every rebound seems perfect...at first

amisconception

amisconception

If you eat a girl out with herpes do you not get genital herpes in your mouth???? But then it's not genital? Then it turns to the other type of herpes?! WTF PEOPLE!?

Seriously herpes is VERY confusing.

amisconception

WILLDOGS, as far as the giddy thing, even though you know it's typically short-term infatuation, it's great to know that your personalities match. Compatibility is a bitch to figure out - and usually is compromised for the short-term high. You'll be fine dude.

P.S. I've read that some women that know they have teh herpes act really nice and ideal toward you because they're desperate. I don't want to try to mess with your head but don't COMPLETELY rule out that possibility. Some women are very adaptable to personalities and behaviors. You're being careful dude, so that's good. Just don't ignore red-flags IF they come up.

Papa_Sean

einsatz

The other day I was thinking about this thread while I was in the shitter and I thought "well if 1/5 ppl have herpes, then what if willdogs has is but doesn't know it? That would solve everything!"


So yeah... get tested, and if you've got it then it's no thang to bang that vag

amisconception

^ smart man

darksom1

This thread is no joke!

Question...has anyone in here ever KNOWINGLY banged someone "raw-dawg" with Les Herpes, and came out clean? If I missed that "outing", please forgive...

TS_eXpeed

sasha

From what I understand, both types of herpes virus can cause either oral or genital herpes. The only thing that differentiates them is their nerve cell type preference which dictates their site of preference. HSV1 prefers the nerve cells at the top of the spine and base of brain and are therefore associated with oral herpes. On the other hand, HSV2 prefers the nerve cells at the bottom of the spine and stay in the genital area. Still, either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect oral and/or genital areas.

If you perform oral sex on a girl with genital HSV2, you'll have oral HSV2. Now if you have an oral HSV1 and perform oral sex on someone, she'll get genital HSV1 and this is actually what greatly contributes to the growing number of genital herpes. So if you think about it, there are actually 4 types of herpes caused by 2 types of virus.

Remember, if you or your partner have a cold sore, avoid engaging in intimate activities including kissing. It's not "just" a cold sore! Oral HSV1 is actually considered more dangerous because not can it only be transmitted to the genital area, it can also spread to the eyes or brain causing blindness or death. Genital HSV2 only got the reputation as the "bad herpes" because of the social stigma associated with how it is contracted.

TS_eXpeed

This thread is great. My .....
Don't do it.

1) You are young....you don't want to risk having some horrible disease for the rest of your life
2) As much as this girl seems 'perfect', there is one that many times better out there that DOESN'T have herpes.


Be friends, not bed buddies.

darksom1

Damn Sasha...informative and chilling at the same time. But thanks home-slice!

This shit here is making me think that I should have a broad produce a clean bill of health form prior to me getting a blow-job even!! And don't act like I'm the only one who let's the broads blow them raw! Just think, two lesbians would just be recycling and converting this shit! Daayyyuuuummm!!!

darksom1

^ It was too late for me to add, but how does that whole thing that Sasha said, and my reference to the lesbians, make you guys feel about that "trois" you been dreaming of?

First broad with oral HSV1, eats the other broad, thereby converting it to genital HSV1, and then she rides you and keeps the party going!

t_in_maine

So, let me ask this... I've had "cold sores" forever, since I was very young, pre-teen-ish? WAYYYYYYYY before I ever had my first kiss, let alone engaged in anything that could remotely be considered sexual contact. So, if you have or are susceptible to cold sores, from a young age, does it show up on a test if you get tested for Herpes? And so should I, (if I were single and dating) tell everyone that I potentially might have any contact with that once a year I get a cold sore?

amisconception

TS_eXpeed

Not quite understanding what you are trying to say. If you are trying to ask if cold sores show up on STD test, no.

If you have
1- Had sexual contact with someone while having a cold sore
2- Had sexual contact at all really...cold sore or not


.....you could possibly get herpes if THAT'S what you are asking. I think you would know if you had herpes, but then again, I can say that definitevly because I don't have herpes. But again, if the question is, "If I have cold sores, do those show up on test??"

The answer is no.

Dr. Colorado

[QUOTE=TS_eXpeed]Not quite understanding what you are trying to say. If you are trying to ask if cold sores show up on STD test, no.

If you have
1- Had sexual contact with someone while having a cold sore
2- Had sexual contact at all really...cold sore or not

You are incorrect on multiple counts. First, a significant percentage of people with herpes are not "aware" they have herpes because the primary outbreak was either not recognized or believed to be a different condition (jock itch or yeast infection) or did not have symptoms (subclinical infection).

"Cold sores" or herpes orolabialis represent infection typically with HSV TYPE 1. Serologic testing with antibodies would document exposure to this virus. It's the same test performed for genital herpes, typically caused by HSV TYPE 2, except with different epitope markers for the diagnostic antibodies. It is true that children may acquire herpes orolabialis at a young age, possibly by sharing a drink with a parent or other close personal contact with a parent or relative who has a history of herpes orolabialis.

The majority of cases of herpes transmission, both type 1 and 2, occur when the infected person is asymptomatic. It makes sense that a person with active lesions, i.e. open sores, would be more contagious. However, if a pt knowingly has an active outbreak, they would obviously exercise more caution in avoiding personal contact which may transmit the HSV virus. This is in contradistinction to asymptomatic shedding, where the infected person is not aware they have active viral shedding, and thus may be more prone to engage in behavior such as kissing or intercourse which would facilitate said transmission of HSV virus.

Whew! It's like i'm teaching medical students again

1StGenCL

One of my friends has the same kinda thing. She has had cold sores since a very young age and probably got it from her parents. Her doctor has made her aware that it IS herps and can spread it especially when she has a sore

Dr. Colorado