My friend lives with 2 other roommates. Roommate A is who I'm after and roommate B is the problem. My friend told me that roommate A is easily influenced by what others say and roommate B is very negative about guys and always blocks guys going after the roommate A.

Any suggestions in this situation?

One way is I need to keep roommate B busy (with other guy or other things)...


By the way, my friend is on my side, and we're discussing what I can do and etc. Also, the girl I'm after has no idea that I have feelings for her.

 

to give little more background, I work and live in San Jose. She's 3 years younger than me, and is a student at UC Berkeley.

 

Flowchart?

 

If her friends don't like you you're screwed


Best bet is to get her distracted somehow, like you said.

 

get the girl out of her room and don't ever meet the roommate?

 

alcohol

 

Seek your prey while roommate B is away? Or arrange to meet up with her at a neutral location

 

at least your friend is on your side.

i'd get your friend to distract roommate B by going shopping or watching a movie or whatever.

and bonus points to you if you can get roommate B to say "i'm sorry for blocking your cock" to you.

 

3some?

 

or you can do that.

 

 

^ Ram it straight up the middle? Sounds like a good idea.

 

you know.. the good thing is that last time I met up with all 3 of them together, I was getting along with roommate B pretty well. but then, I still wanna be safe.

 

with your mom? sure

 

We are a package deal...

 

Wasn't this from a Seinfield episode....I think the solution was to propose a 3 way....If I remember correctly, they both were into it, but Jerry didn't want to be a menios kind of guy...He would need a new robe and slippers....

 

Well, if her friends like you then you're definitely in. It's either one way or another.

 

 

Take roomate B out on a date. Get roomate A jealous. Have sex with roomate A

 

Promise?

 

What stood out to me the most was when you said she doesn't know you have feelings for her.

You have feelings for a girl you're not dating or sleeping with yet? Are you sure you're not being blinded by her looks? Because if you REALLY have feelings for this girl and you don't really know her well... That's a recipe for disaster. Women are MUCH more than just good looks (both good and bad).

Reconsider how much value you're placing on this girl - and if you're putting her on a pedestal based purely on exterior qualities.

 

By the way, a lot of girls are really perceptive! You may not think that she knows how you "feel" about her - but your behavior may change in a subtle way around her. You may become more animated or more introverted. You may not even notice it yourself.

If that's the case, and she picked up on it, you're in trouble already because you haven't acted on your "feelings" and it may come across as weakness (not attractive).

 

well having a crush on a girl or being interested in a girl is having feelings to some extent for her, no?

 

what's wrong with liking someone who you haven't dated? do you then date someone with no interest first? refer to JediMindTricks's post above

i didn't say i'm in love or anything..

 

yea distract her or let her be known that you are a good guy (until you bone her roommate) and get her to like you

 

:ghey:

 

There's a big difference between LIKING the way a girl looks and having "feelings" for a girl.

When I think of "feelings" I think of "wow I really think this girl is incredible, she's different, and she's not just good looking, there's substance beneath those 34C's" - that's supposed to happen once you actually get to know the girl. She could be psychotic or have more baggage than a terminal at LAX.

A crush is an emotional rush, an infatuation, an idealization, if you don't know the girl well, you'll fall victim to your own miscalculations based on that idealization if you don't have control over yourself. You have to be grounded in reality.

You can characterize it any way you want, but if you're goo-goo-gah-gah over a girl and aren't being a man by putting her up on a pedastal and worshipping the ground she walks on (not saying you're doing this btw), then you're going to be walked all over on.

Maybe our definition of "feelings" is different. Regardless, my point still stands, even if not for you specifically.

 

i agree with what you're saying.

but when the op said he had feelings for the girl, in that context, i just took it as meaning he's interested in her.

 

^

 

like you said, our definition is different.. let's move on.. no point arguing over this

 

i was also thinking about setting up a blind date for roommate B.. drawback of this plan is if she hates the guy, negative rep for my ass

 

like i said in my first post, can't you get your friend to take roommate b somewhere and that'll let you have some alone time with roommate a?

sounds like you're not in too bad of a spot because you said you've hung out with all three of them and they like you. what is your current relationship with roommate a like? are you guys just acquaintances? would it be weird to have, say, lunch or dinner together alone?

it just seems logical to have your friend set something up for the two of you.

 

To back up the OP about his "feelings" it seems like he knows all 3 parties living in the same place, and is friends with them all. He may have feelings of attraction toward her personality and not just her looks since he knows her But I also agree that if you have started acting differently, she'll pick up on it or Friend B will

 

roommate a and i are just acquaintances.. i met her through my friend..
normally when i meet new people, i get their contact informations like phone number and msn and things like that.. but i purposely didn't ask her any because i want to meet her several times before we contact each other over phone/messenger. i want her to see who i am in person (people can be quite different in person than over the line) and at the same time, i do want to know her little more as well.

My friend knows the girl very well. She really wants things to work out between me and the girl. So, we're planning things out a little carefully. Regarding the lunch/dinner together alone, it'll happen soon, but probably not now.


I do not act differently for either roommates to notice anything, so I'm ok. I'm not a teenager Regarding the "feelings", let's just say I'm interested in her..

 

Throw a party.

 

Well, first off, roommate A is retarded for being "easilly influenced" ... if she's a spineless push-over, what's the point? And roommate B is retarded for being a bitter cockblock and possibly a closet carpet-muncher. As for you buddy roommate, don't let her get too involved in the process since there's nothing gals like than playing matchmaker and gossip-queen ... if there's possibility of drama/conflict unfolding (i.e. roommate B), all the better for her entertainment purposes.

That being said, don't be passive-aggressive or manipulative when pursuing A. This isn't some stupid CBS/NBC/FOX sitcom with stereotypical characters and a laughtrack where one has to play little games. Be up-front and honest. Just call A (giving her the benefit of the doubt of being able to make her own damned decisions) and ask her on a date. What the hell will roommate B tell her that would stop A from seeing you if A is interested in you?

 

thanks for your opinion.. but there are girls who are interested in you at first sight and there are girls who you have to work your ways up to get their interest... in either case, it wouldn't hurt to be little careful when approaching...

there are girls i want to try and if things don't work out, i can just say F it and turn around.. and this one may or may not be the case.


no comment on them being retarded other than "i disagree"

 

You also don't want to assume anything about B. What if she's a hardcore religious person who wants to be set up by her parents only? What if she's a lesbian and you set her up with a guy? What if she's just frigid?

There are too many things that can go wrong. The best course of action is to separate A from B by taking just A somewhere.

I'm not sure I'm clear on this, but it seems like your friend knows A. If that's the case, I would suggest the three of you go somewhere (ie: Your friend takes A somewhere, and you meet them).

Or better yet, start casual conversation with B. Ask her what she does for a job and pretend you're interested. Try and subtly find out when she works. If there's a time she's working and A is not, snag that time.

 

^ about roommate B

I like the idea about 3 people thing...

Oh, and all 3 of them are students at UC Berkeley.

 

I find having that extra mutal friend there really relaxes things a lot. 99% of the time with my friends I get to be that guy. I never seem to get any set ups for myself.