I remember seeing someone post part of an article in D&R maybe on how to lose a girl (i.e. what NOT to do) but i can't seem to find it anywhere. Can anyone point me to it?

 

if you really wanted to break something off with a girl, it shouldnt be too hard

 

They made a movie about it! Just substitute guy for girl.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251127/

 

No no no...someone posted part of an article about stupid things guys do to make a girl run for the hills. It was in a recent thread I just can't seem to find it.

 

Easy...cheat and tell her.

 

Uggh...Apparantly no one knows what I'm talking about

 

How To Lose A Girl Fast
by David DeAngelo




HOW TO LOSE A GIRL FAST

Now THIS sounds like an interesting topic, doesn't
it?

Why would you want to know how to LOSE a girl?

Well, I'm going to propose a DANGEROUS IDEA.

I'm going to suggest that you are probably already
an EXPERT in LOSING a girl.

You might even be a "natural" at it.

Most guys are.

But the PROBLEM is that most guys don't UNDERSTAND
why they're so good at LOSING women.

In other words, they walk through the world screwing
up one situation after another, and never realize JUST
HOW GOOD they are at being bad with women.

And they don't realize that by just changing a
few key things they could change their level of success
DRAMATICALLY.

One great way to increase your success in life
is to start REALIZING what you're doing. Once you
actually understand what you're doing and the results
you're triggering, you can CHANGE.

So open your mind. Listen up.

TYPICAL THINGS MEN DO

As you've probably heard me say about a million
times, MEN ARE PREDICTABLE.

In fact, we're PAINFULLY predictable.

We all do basically the same things when we get
into common situations with women... but we don't
even realize it.

I call this the Originality Paradox.

In our desire to be "original" and "unique", us
guys tend to do the SAME THINGS! Said differently,
while you're doing something that seems thoughtful
and original, the attractive woman on the other end
is thinking "He's just like all the other guys".

Ouch.

So why is being predictable so bad?

Look at this formula:

Predictable = BORING.

Boring = NO EMOTIONS.

No Emotions = NO ATTRACTION.

No Attraction = NO GETTIN' SHIZZY WITH THA NIZZY!

One of the VERY BEST ways to lose a girl is to
be PREDICTABLE.

Another huge mistake men make is GIVING AWAY OUR
POWER to women.

I'm not going to go into it, but the reality is
that women are NOT attracted to WEAK men. And I'm
not talking about muscles here.

If you act like a Wuss, you are shooting yourself
in the foot.

Here are a few examples of how us guys act PREDICTABLE,
give away our power, and make about 147 other huge
mistakes with women we've just met:

1) Call Her All The Time

If you like someone, it's logical that you're going
to want to let them know, right?

Well, only if you like the idea of coming across
like a total Jack-Wuss. I just made that up, by the
way. Combination of Jackass and Wuss. Not sure if I
like it, but I'm going to go with it.

Where was I?

Yea, calling her all the time.

Calling all the time is usually triggered by INSECURITY
and NEEDINESS. It sounds like a good idea, but it
almost NEVER is.

A great way to lose a girl before you even have
her. We might call this one "Have Prevention" even.


2) Offer To Take Her Somewhere "Nice"

What do most guys do when they meet a girl that
they "really" like?

Well, they call her up, and they get into a boring
conversation about schools and families and jobs and
100 other painfully boring things... and when they
finally realize that they've been on the phone for
an hour, they realize that they'd better do SOMETHING
soon... because she's starting to talk about having
to go wash her dog...

So what do they do?

They think to themselves "Self, you'd better get
up some nerve and ask her out. Hey! Self! I have a
GREAT idea. Ask her to go out with you to a REALLY
NICE place. She'll be far more likely to want to do
that, and besides, then she'll know that you REALLY
like her...".

And what does this REALLY communicate?

Right, right.

That you have the confidence to just ask her to
spend time with you for NO REASON other than the fact
that you want to... and that you must not be WORTH
spending time with - without some kind of "meal incentive".

Meal Incentive... lol... I crack myself up.

Well, this is one more example of something that
"sounds good" in the moment, but is BAD BAD BAD for
business.


3) Do "Thoughtful" Things From The Beginning

What's better than a nice, thoughtful guy showing
up at the door with flowers and candy for the first
date?

Well, to quote an old Saturday Night Live episode,
"Throwing an entire box of thumb tacks on the floor,
and rolling around in them naked".

Or maybe taking one of those... you know... SERRATED
KNIVES... yea, that's it... and putting it between your
big toe and second toe and slicing back and forth really
fast... and then pouring... you know... HOT SAUCE...
yea, that's it... on the wound!

I hate it when that happens!

But we men do this kind of thing all the time...
because it sure sounds good in the moment.

By the way, don't try the thumb tack thing or the
hot sauce thing UNLESS you're considering purchasing
flowers and candy to bring to a first date. In that
case, please take these measures to prevent yourself
from acting on the uncontrollable urges.

If you come on too strong, you appear just like
every other predictable Wussyboy that has ever tried
to make himself look better by giving gifts and food
and favors in exchange for attention and approval.


4) Tell Her How You "Feel" About Her Early On

This might be one of my favorites.

I'm starting to think that us guys must come stock
with a mechanism that actually compels us to open
our BIG FAT MOUTHS and screw things up with only the
BEST women.

I'll call this the "Feeling Confessor" mechanism.
It is triggered by strong feelings of attraction and
emotion toward an unusually attractive woman.

I've talked to A LOT of attractive women in my
life. And they all have one similar experience to
share...

For some UNKNOWN and UNGODLY reason, men just seem
to LOVE telling SUPER HOT women how they FEEL within
the first couple of dates.

And I also get a lot of emails from men, as you
might realize.

One of the common emails I get goes a little something
like this:

"David, I met this unbelievably hot girl... she's
smart, interesting, successful... everything seemed
to be going well... so I decided to tell her how I
felt... and for some reason she said that she needs
some "space" and some "time to be alone"... I don't
get it..."

Again, when you do this you're making all kinds
of huge mistakes... and basically doing everything
you can to LOSE her.


5) Keep Telling Her How You Feel When She Needs Space

And if the last example wasn't painful enough,
most guys usually like to use this final "nail in
the coffin" technique as well...

Here's the situation:

You've met a girl you really like. Maybe you've
gone out with her a few times. Doesn't matter.

You do all the things you can think of to SCREW
IT UP, and you finally succeed.

You prove to her that you just don't get it, and
you don't know how to handle a woman like her.

So she says "I need some space" or "I need some
time to myself".

And what do most guys do?

Of course. They KEEP telling her how they feel.

And they do it in 100 annoying ways.

The thought most guys have is "If she only understood
how I REALLY FEEL ABOUT HER, then she would LOVE ME".

It's painful just typing the words.

So there you have it.

Part of the magic formula for losing a girl fast.
Interesting, isn't it?

But there's a much DEEPER message here.

The message is this:

If you don't understand the process of how to make
women feel ATTRACTION for you, including the things
to AVOID doing, then you're not going to have success.

Not knowing the rules of a game makes it very difficult
(or impossible) to win.

And, unfortunately, us guys have a HUGE disadvantage
when it comes to women and dating...

We have emotional responses to situations that take
over our "thinking", and make us do all the wrong things.

We usually sabotage OURSELVES.

Well, the good news is that it does NOT have to
be this way. There is a BETTER way.

If you found this particular discussion interesting,
then you're probably read to learn the DEEPER secrets
of how to be more successful with women and dating.

If you're ready to STOP losing women faster than
you can meet them, then it's probably time for you
to step up and get yourself an education about how
to attract women and KEEP them attracted.

And the best education in the world is my Advanced
Dating Techniques program. It's over 12 full hours
of me teaching all of my very best concepts.

This program will teach you everything from how
to overcome your fears of women to how to take things
to a "physical" level without running into rejection.
It is literally JAM PACKED with HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS
of amazing step-by-step techniques for overcoming
all of your obstacles and getting to the point in
your life where you have the kind of success that
you've always wanted with women.

Go check out the great free samples here:

http://tickle.c.topica.com/maacy3Faa9jplbnvW8bb/

...and if you're reading this right now and you haven't
yet downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double
Your Dating", I have something to tell you...

 

Mistakes Guys Make On Dates
by David DeAngelo
--------------------------------------------------

>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

Hello, I am reading your book now and it's great,
the cocky guy thing is working 100%. I actually got
5 #'s in 4 days! WOW Thanks! My Q is, I met a girl
online, she gave me her #, I called her we met, got
dinner, drinks, then made out! Cool stuff! She says
she is having the greatest time, blah blah blah.
When I kissed her, and made out a little, she then
says, slow down its the first date. I felt bad for
going on so fast. So I said sorry. When we went home
(2 different directions) everything was cool, (looked
like it at least) I said, "ok, thanks, great time
blah blah" the i said "You want me to call u or u
gonna call me?" She goes "I'll call u, u call me its
all good" SO it ended good, (i think) NOW, Should I
CALL HER the next day or not?

Thanks,

K.

P.S. she wants to go out to a different town with
me for the weekend to have fun. HOW DO I ACT SO I
DONT LOOK LIKE A WUSS AND EASY TO GET GUY!??!?!?


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, well ready yourself.

I'm about to do some of my "David D. Quack-Psycho-
Analysis" on you. Emphasis on the Psycho.

In a one-paragraph email you managed to tell me about
a MINIMUM of three major mistakes that you made with
this particular girl. If I really thought about it,
I could probably find another few in there as well.

So hug your inner child and tell him that everything
is going to be OK before I verbally abuse him...

Here are the three mistakes that I noticed right off
the bat:

1) Making out with her somewhere other than at your
house (or her house).

2) Apologizing for making out with her.

3) Asking her if you should call her, of if she should
call you.

I'll address each one in a minute in detail, but first
let me start off with some of my Quack theories.

One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't Attracted
To Wussies".

I say this because:

1) It's true.

2) If you don't understand this principle, you're
likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph" to
a woman that you're a Wuss.

3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel
ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw
up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling, you're done.
Game over.

I think that most of us guys have these little secret
beliefs that we hide from the rest of the world...
and that we TRY to hide from women.

I was having an interesting discussion with a good
friend today, and we were talking about how most guys
act when they're around an "attractive" woman.

Most guys do one of the following:

-Give attractive women a lot of compliments immediately.

-Kiss up to attractive women.

-Try to get attractive women to like them by buying
them gifts, dinners, and flowers.

-Chase after attractive women, and let it be known
that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right from
the beginning.

-Hand over all of their power and status to attractive
women.

Know what I'm talking about?

Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a beautiful
woman... and he's obviously nervous about the whole
situation... and you can tell that he's doing everything
he can to NOT screw up so he can get the woman's approval?

Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?

Yea, me too. A lot.
-
Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior usually
BACKFIRES BIG TIME.

All of the little things that most guys do to get
a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman
that they're pursuing:

"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT
YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO
I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO
EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY
ATTENTION TO ME."

Now that I understand this particular aspect of male/female
interactions, I can see the horrible results all around
me.

At bars I watch guys walking up to women and giving
compliments... or offering to buy drinks... and the
women smiling politely, thinking "Oh, another loser",
and excusing themselves...

I see men at dinner with their dates... DESPERATELY
trying to get the women they're with to show any sign
of interest... but the women only become colder and
less interested... And I know that the women are only
getting ANNOYED at this behavior...

I read personal ads in the paper and online from men
who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great guy! No, really!"...
and I know that the women reading these ads are saying
to themselves "Yea, loser"... and the guys are getting
little or no response...

I think you get the picture.

The point I'm making is that when you do things like
asking her if she wants you to call her or if she wants
to call you... and apologizing for making out with her,
you are making the same basic mistake.

Why would you apologize for making out with a woman?

I mean, think about it.

You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would not
have done it in the first place. Duh.

You were actually LYING when you said you were sorry.
You were only sorry that she didn't want to continue,
man.

When you said "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was "Uh oh,
I just screwed up. I'd better say something quick to
fix this. I will put aside my own wants and desires,
and say whatever you want to hear in hopes that you'll
like me and give me attention and approval".

Really.

It's actually even WORSE than that.

The reality of this situation is that when you apologized,
you created a POWER SHIFT.

The power shifted from YOU to HER.

You felt it, and she felt it.

I guarantee that in the few seconds after you said
"I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach
and knew something was wrong. But I ALSO guarantee
that she felt a little SURGE of power AT THAT VERY
MOMENT.

At the same moment you were realizing that you just
did something wrong, she was realizing that she OWNED
YOU.

Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little bit
of disappointment in you, because you were apologizing
for something just to get her approval... and women
don't WANT to own men.

Heavy man, heavy.

And the SAME thing happened in the moment that you
asked her if she wanted you to call her or if she
wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser degree).

That's one of those little moments where you basically
said "Here, take the power. Tell me what you want me
to do, and I'll do it. You get to make the decisions.
Please tell me that you want me to call you, because
that will affirm that you like me".

Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a boyfriend
who she eventually cheats on... or, even worse, a
boyfriend who she eventually marries and then divorces
because you turned into a boring Wussy husband from
hell.

So, my general advice to you is:

STOP IT!

Stop doing things that let her know that she OWNS
you.

One of the best things you can do is learn to PAUSE
before you to respond to ANYTHING that makes you feel
an "Emotional Wussy Rush".

If she says something that indicates that she's not
happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.

Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut and
the brain operating.

If you have to, run everything through your mental
"Wussy Analyzer".

Decide if the response you're going to give her is
to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.

Don't do things that hand over the power in the relationship.
Don't let the things a woman says shake you emotionally.

Finally, I want to address your mistake of making
out with her somewhere other than in your house or
her house.

I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?

One of the best things I've learned is that if you
LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a girl, and
don't try to "make your move" early on, you'll do
MUCH better later.

 

What Causes Women To Leave Men?
by David De Angelo
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------

Why do women leave men?

Interesting question, isn't it?

We've all had women leave us...

And we've all been in the situation, wondering
why she was leaving... and willing to do literally
ANYTHING to get her to stay.

Read the following scenarios, and nod your head
silently if you can identify with any of them:

-You met an incredible woman, and you really hit
it off at the beginning. But the more time you
spent with her, the less interested she became...
but the MORE interested you became. You could
feel the balance of power shifting, but there
was nothing you could do about it. Eventually she
just stopped seeing you, but she never explained
why in a way that made any sense...

-You were seeing a woman for several months,
maybe even a year or so. Everything seemed fine.
But then one day she came to you and said "I
don't know how I feel anymore, and I just need
some time ALONE... some time to 'find myself'...
it's not YOU, it's ME"... but her time "alone"
turned into her seeing some other guy that didn't
treat her half as well as you did...

-You were in a serious long-term relationship
that had lasted more than a couple of years, and
you were with the woman you thought you'd spend
the rest of your life with. Sure, you had your
problems, but you knew that you'd always work
through whatever came up, and she would stick
by your side forever. Out of nowhere, she started
acting strange... she started to become more
controlling and angry... no matter how hard you
tried to make her feel better and do nice things,
it only got worse. They she dropped the bomb that
she didn't love you anymore, and she was leaving.
Or maybe she cheated on you, then told you as her
way of breaking up...

...of course, there are a million variations of
these basic situations, but I'll bet you can
identify with one of them.

I can identify with ALL of them. In fact, I've
been through each of them... some more than once.

And I'll tell you... I can remember the PAIN
and the DESPERATION I felt each time.

I mean, it SUCKED. I hated it.

Probably the WORST part of it was the feeling
of POWERLESSNESS that went along with each time.

It's bad enough having the woman you like or
love leave you... but to have to ALSO deal with
the fact that you don't know how to change things,
and there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT is
just plain depressing.

Again, if you've been there, nod silently with
me...

Now let's talk about how to AVOID this kind of
thing in the future.


THE PROBLEM ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK

The first thing you must realize in this type
of situation is that the problem you're dealing
with isn't what you think it is.

Most guys naturally assume that the woman is
leaving them because he's not being "nice"
enough, or he's not giving her what she wants, or
he's not being a good boyfriend... etc.

Or they assume that this is just "one of those
things that happens", that "feelings change" and
that there's really nothing he could have done
anyway.

Well, these ideas, and almost all the others
that most guys think, are DEAD WRONG.

So STEP ONE is for you to realize that what
you THINK you know is WRONG. Throw it out.

Start over, and open your mind to a new way
of seeing things. I'll share more on this later.


YOU CAN'T SOLVE IT WITH MORE OF THE SAME

Now I want to talk about what NOT to do.

I know that this is going to sound pretty
obvious, but if what you're doing isn't working
in a particular situation, you need to STOP.

Don't keep doing what's not working.

In other words, if the woman you love is
breaking up with you, and you've been being
nice to her, doing whatever she wants, and
telling her that you'll do anything to make it
better... if only she'll stay... then STOP.

Stop doing that.

Whatever it is you're doing that isn't
working ISN'T WORKING. Duh.

So stop it immediately.

More of the same is only going to get you
more of what is happening.


WHY ATTRACTION IS SO IMPORTANT

One of the main reasons why I talk about and
teach the concept of ATTRACTION is that when
it comes to these types of situations, the
REAL underlying reason for them is usually that
the woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION anymore.

When it all boils down, she just plain does
not FEEL IT.

Now, a woman will say and do all kinds of
things OTHER than telling you that this is the
problem.

Women have all these ideas in their heads
like "I can't tell him how I REALLY feel because
I don't want to hurt his feelings" and "I can't
tell him what's going on because I don't want
to emasculate him" and "It's just easier if I
just go away".

Love it.

But when you take away all of the B.S., and
you get right to the core of what's going on,
you'll usually find that it all boils down to
ATTRACTION... or, more specifically, the LACK
of ATTRACTION.

I'm going to say something that's pretty
bold right now. Get ready.

If you do not know how to make a woman feel
the GUT LEVEL physical and emotional response
called ATTRACTION, then you are going to be
out of control in relationships, and will very
likely have women leave you for the rest of
your life.

There is no security when you don't "get it"
in the ATTRACTION department.

And you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Women KNOW that they have the upper hand with
most men.

As a guy, you can FEEL IT when a woman "has
you by the balls".

And even if she's not evil or mean, a woman
can still crush you emotionally when she's in
this powerful position.

Well, guess what?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GIVES HER THIS POWER.

And if you choose, you can KEEP this power
for YOURSELF.


SOLVE THE PROBLEM BEFORE IT STARTS

Now, the BEST way to deal with this particular
problem is to SOLVE it BEFORE it even starts.

The absolute most important prevention method
is an understanding of female psychology and
ATTRACTION.

Here are a few pointers to get you started:

1) Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.

Women don't feel ATTRACTION for weak men.

Sure, if you chase a woman for long enough,
and buy her enough things, she may "fall" for
you. But in that case it's not because she feels
ATTRACTION for you. OHHHHH NO. It's because
she feels AFFECTION for you, and she confuses it
with ATTRACTION.

So if your Inner Wussy has been taking the
wheel, EVICT IT! Bitch-slap the Wuss out of
yourself. Do it now.

2) Don't be PREDICTABLE.

Predictability is a mortal sin when it comes
to attraction.

If a woman can guess what you're going to do
or say, you're being predictable.

If she CAN'T guess what you're going to do or
say, she'll always be wondering...

Now, keep in mind that women are MUCH better
at predicting behavior than men.

So if you're going to stop being predictable,
then you're going to need to LEARN how.

To begin with, PAUSE before you do and say
things. Think about what you'd normally do, then
DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Throw in some crazy, off-the-wall stuff for
good measure.

Predictable is BAD BAD BAD for business.

3) Don't be BORING.

Boring is the bastard child of Predictable.

When you are SO predictable that NOTHING is
new or different, then you are officially
BORING.

Boring is also the lack of adventure,
passion, energy, humor, and ATTRACTION.

Unfortunately, most men are REALLY REALLY
REALLLLLLLLLLLLY boring.

I mean like shoot-yourself boring.

Like, if there was a "Boring Score" that
took into account everything from food to
clothing to interests to conversation, most
men would score a 99.75 on a 100 scale.

It's a bad situation.

I used to be pretty damn boring myself,
so boring, in fact, that I could probably be
certified as an expert on the topic.

So take it from me, BORING is BAD.

I don't care WHAT you have to do to stop
being boring, but do it.

A few quick ideas:

Take up an interesting hobby. Think wine
collecting, not comic book collecting.

Mountain biking, not chemistry.

Fashion, not X-Box.

You feel me?

Now, this is just a taste.

More important than what you do and talk
about is HOW you do it and talk about it.

There is a way to communicate with women
that prevents you from being boring. I suggest
that you pay attention to the things you're
learning from me so you "get it".


IF THINGS GET BAD, BREAK UP FIRST

Now I'm going to REALLY stick my neck out.

This one is going to make the little baby
hairs stand up on the backs of necks of women
all over the world...

If you find yourself in one of these bad
situations that I mentioned above, and you
sense that the woman in your life is about to
leave, then BREAK UP WITH HER FIRST.

DO IT.

Don't hesitate.

Cut the line.

Hit the road.

No matter what your emotions tell you to
do, you have to end it FIRST.

If you want to have ANY chance of having
things work out in the LONG RUN, then you
need to TAKE CONTROL of the situation, and
BREAK UP WITH HER.

From this position, you will then be able
to see things more clearly, and she will be
about 100 times more likely to want to work
things out with you.

If you REALLY want to increase your chances
of having things work out, then you should
also start dating other women as well.

But let's not talk too much about that,
because I'm already in the danger zone here.

If you take the time to think about it,
you'll realize that breaking up with her
FIRST is the best possible thing you can do.

As you've heard me say quite a few times,
it's important to give a woman the GIFT of
MISSING YOU.

Never is it more important than in one of
THESE situations.

I know, this is a damn hard thing to do
when you're in the heat of the moment... but
if you don't do it, you'll probably wind up
with her leaving... and you feeling that
lame POWERLESS feeling that I described
earlier.

OK, so to wrap, let me talk about one
more thing...

As I mentioned before, the REAL thing that
causes women to LEAVE comes down to the man in
her life not understanding ATTRACTION and how
to make her FEEL IT for him.

And, as I mentioned, no woman is EVER going
to TELL this to you.

Instead, she's just going to LEAVE.

When I first started learning all of this
stuff about how to be successful with women and
dating, I had NO IDEA that I would wind up solving
the mystery of why women LEAVE men.

I was only looking for the answer to how to get
a woman in the first place... I never even thought
about KEEPING one once I got her...

But now I realize that this particular topic
usually winds up being the most important one,
because once you find that amazing woman, and
get something good going, you certainly don't want
to LOSE her.

And when you find yourself in the situation,
and you realize that the woman you have is about
to leave... you would basically do ANYTHING to
stop it.

Of course, at that point it's usually TOO
LATE to do anything... which sucks.

So one of the most important things you can do
RIGHT NOW in your life is to learn how and why
women feel ATTRACTION for some men... and how to
make women feel it for you.

 

yeah thats it, thanks.