this was a big topic this weekend since it was new years and we were at a party at a resort for 2 days. we were the only 2 out of like 15 or 20 ppl that weren't drunk. I love to drink and i don't see anything wrong with it, but she hasn't had a taste of alcohol in her entire life. i called her one night when i was drunk and she got very angry and said she never wanted to talk to me again. this was about a year ago before we went out. anyways, all my friends think she's being wayyy too controlling and so do i. i talked about it with her this weekend and she told me do whatever i want but i know if i were to drink she would be upset. im posting cuz i'm wondering what you guys would do in my situation and also because i feel as if im missing out on my whole college experience or whatever. i love her so much and i really would like to make her happy but i just feel like she's not being fair. i don't tell her what to do so why should she have any say as to wheather i drink or not. part of me thinks she doesn't want me to drink just to prove that she can tell me what to do. arrghh i dunno.

 

damn bro... come on AIM so we can discuss it!

 

That sucks, I would try to talk to her about it and see if she will let you drink maybe like 3 drinks a night, you know in moderation, until she sees that you are taking it serious or something? I really don't know what her problem would be with it, unless she had someone in her family that had a serious alcohol problem and that it scared her? She's being way too controlling...I would never tell someone that they couldn't drink any alcohol at all.

 

good info, just try to take it in moderation to build that trust.

 

that's ground for instant dump.

in all seriousness, if she is preventing you from social drinking she's trying to control you.

dump, you guys have no future together and IMHO are incompatible. Probably not what you wanted to here but I would never stand for that kind of nonsense.

Now if you're getting ripped and being an ass to her that is a whole nutter ballgame. But if she's just saying "you can't have a few beers and if you do I'll be upset" - well again if a women ever said that to me I'd tell her to get lost, it ain't worth the hassle/drama.

 

exactly, have you ever done really bad shit when you're drunk?

you're 19, you're in college, theres absolutely no reason why you shouldnt drink. unless of course you're not telling us the whole story and shes doing this to protect you, but i dont think thats the case.

she's being controlling. run. run quickly.

next she's gonna make you shave your balls and wear pink tshirts just so she can show you off to her friends.

 

I wouldn't phrase it so strongly that you're "missing out on [your] college experience" but it certainly is an aspect of college the perhaps you haven't been able to experience fully. My gf doesn't like for me to drink much, but she fully respects my right to do so, as long as I don't do anything stupid like drive afterwards.

In your case, I think you and your gf need to have a talk about just how big of a problem this drinking thing is gonna be. Perhaps a compromise can be reached. If she refuse to compromise, perhaps it's time to move one. If she won't compromise on this, she'll be impossible to deal with when it comes time for other major issues.

 

I would suggest talking with her beacuse it sounds like she is trying to control you. If its a trust thing, then why not just drink in moderation only when she is around.

 

thanks for the responses guys. no there is nothing bad that's happened w/ alcohol in her life, in fact her sister was at the party and she loves to drink almost as much as i do. anyways, im starting to feel like she gets everything she wants. im kinda like the little bitch i guess cuz now that i think about it, i do whatever she says. i do love her though but she's so controlling and i dont know what to do. when i try to talk to her she doesn't take me seriously at all. i'll find a way to deal with it i guess. i don't want to lose her because things are really great but i just wish i had more control.

 

Your situation sounds worse than it really is. Depending on how you look at it. From the alcohol stand point, not bad at all. You got two choices: Sex or beer? Pick one. The beer can sometimes lead to sex with strange females so keep that one in your pocket. The only thing I do see that is bad is the control factor. A woman should never have control of a relationship! I repeat....never! The funny thing is that they talk bad about us guys when we are in a relationship. Our moves are never calculated. Not like a woman. We think with our dicks.............they think with their brains, therefore making there actions worse! I would hate to see you lose control of this situation. I do have good news for you. I live in VA also. Actually right down the street from ODU. Near the colley ave area. If you want to go out for some drinks, (on you, since I will be giving you "bitch" advice) we can figure out a plan to make sure the ball is back in your court. I am the master of female manipulation and I would be more than happy to give you some pointers so you will have this chick downing some cold ones with you. Drop me a line at laffinitup@att.net. Peace of mind is only a couple of Amstel lights away.................

 

Let's look at this situation a little more (sorry, done a lot of relationship counseling in my day)...

What other traits in your personality does she try to squeltch? What other things you want to do or want to do with your life does she not agree with and cause a hissy fit/drama?

A real realationship melds personalities that compliment one another. There are things that either party can or cannot accept that can be deal breakers - this is one of them.

oh - and the above poster has it dead on, never let them wear the pants. secretly they all want you to lead - that's our job. Ideally the pants are shared and each leads/helps the other.

NOT controlling and trying to mold the other into what they want them to be by pouting/lecturing. You're young, plenty of girls out there.

 

Your girl sounds like my ex... the fuckin' bitch did not want me to drink at all and then recanted and said that I can only drink once a month, I mean, I was not and am not an alcoholic so why the fuck is she trying to regulate on my ass... I figured it out she was just trying to change me and be in control.... so what did I do???






























yeah, I threw the bitch out of the car while traveling at a high rate of speed.... kicked her ass to the curb and it hurt hard.... fucking controlling bitches....

 

no. no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no

u sound like one of those chicks that says " hey, my man beats me, but he loves me, so i'll deal with it "

sorry to be blunt, but i think u have the wrong attitude here. i was in a similar situation, "dealt with it" longer than i should have, and ended up wasting a lot of my life with a chick that didnt really make me happy.

you shouldnt have to "deal with it" if you love each other. sounds like theres someone better out there for you.

 

Shes probally afriad that you will get drunk and end up with some other girl. And also some girls dont like being called by a drunk.

 

If you dont do weird shit when you get drunk, she shouldnt have a problem with it at all.

 

If she doesn't feel comfortable being around you when you drink, then go out with your other buddies and do the drinking then (without her). No need for you to miss out - I guess it's just not her scene. If she's trying to tell you you can't drink at all, regardless of who you're with (i.e.: without her) - then that's a different story.

 

I told you man, you her bitch, COreyandmonica04, i know she forced you into that SN and shit, time to dump her move on!

haha j/k man I know you love her, just talk it out

 

DRINK IT UP!!!!!!!!! you can cant get drunk with your boys in 10 years when you got kids and shit, dude dont waste your youth! you gotta have stories of driving the TL home BENT as fuck, shit i think most of us do...i know i do..

 

You say that things are really great right now? If she's really like this (controlling), then it is only going to get worse. A few years down the road she will be telling you what to wear, and who you can be friends with. If she doesn't take you seriously when you talk, she definately thinks that you're inferior to her, which is a very bad thing and could lead to emotional abuse in the future. I don't mean to sound harsh, but start standing up for yourself!

 

maybe she has a bad experience with people drinking around her...maybe her dad or ex boyfriend drank and did bad things...and she's afraid of guys doing that to her again...

then again...maybe she hasn't discovered alcohol yet...and that might be the reason..before I drank..I judged...now that I drink..I don't...encourage her to drink a little...like a glass of wine with a good dinner or something...maybe she'll realize drinkings not that bad...but yeah..just like the posts above..moderation...also, for me..i rarely get drunk around my gf......but i do get pretty buzzed/drunk with my friends...so maybe ..just don't drink around her....and she'll be cool with it? and never call people after drinking...they don't like it..

 

maybe?? i know i dont like my girl drinking at all without me, or maybe im just a bit insecure myself.

 

Everyone feels that way. I would be scared too if my girl was at a party drinking.

 

you're pretty much by her. sorry bro. i've had a couple of ex's that were like her and that's why they're ex's. right now it's drinking, i'm sure it won't stop there. besides you're 19. time to enjoy life. if she doesn't like the way you wanna roll, then roll her ass out. my

 

no not everyone. I wouldn't date somebody I couldn' trust. and trust means letting her do whatever she wants. Nor would I try to control her actions.

I wouldn't even consider being insecure or worrying about my girl at a party. then again, I'm 33.

 

Interesting thread here. I'm not a social drinker. I hate beer and the flavor of it. My (only) favorite alcoholic drink is Bailey's Irish Cream and I wouldn't mind drinking it @ anytime of the day.
My girlfriend, however doesn't like the smell of alcohol. In fact, she hates it. If i have the smell, she doesn't want me to kiss her or anything since she can't stand it. Heck, no kiss, no sex. Sucks. But I understand her situation. Who wants to be with someone who smell like a drunk? I'd be reacting the same way too. I would be hesistant as well to kiss my GF (now Fiance) if she was smelling like one. So as long as she doesn't get the smell or the taste of alcohol, everything is alright

 

Your girlfriend has the pimphand in the relationship. does she do everything you tell her to do? If not, u need to stop being the bitch of the relationship. you are your own person. If you want to drink, by all means go ahead. she needs a kick in da ass is she gets her way on everything. If she can't take you drinking, then don't invite her to parties. Why would a sober person go to a party anyway? They stick out like a sore thumb. If most of the functions had alcohol, why in the world would you invite a person who doesn't drink. Makes no sense. That's like putting a person who is hardcore metal at a country western concert.

 

Dude, she is being too controlling!! TRUST me. My g/f doesn't like when I get hammered either, but she would never tell me not to drink. She always drives home cause she doesn't drink. Last time I got drunk at her friend's birthday we got into a huge fight about all her controllingness and all kinds of crap....we almost broke up but we talked it out and things have been great since. She accepts that I have to have time with my friends now once in a blue moon, and all is good. I am glad we figured it all out cause we've been much better off...YOU GOTTA STRAIGHTEN HER OUT!!! Or just dump her! If you don't wanna just dump her, do like I did, just get hammered, be mean as f@#$ and tell her what you think of her controlling-ness....if that don't fix it, then you'll be better off anyways!!! :P But seriously, if you can't work this out, there are gonna be WAY worse things later on, cause the fact that you can't come home from school/work and have a drink is gonna make you more and more angry!!!!