First Date Help
At some point you need to get rid of this mentality, and not pre-determine what should and shouldn't happen. What determines "when the time is right?". You? or her?!! It should be her.
You are already saying "definitely not the first, not the second, and not the third", so you are already putting your own limits on things. It doesn't mean that your pace will ALWAYS be "right". You should of course do what you are comfortable with... but you should, eventually, be comfortable with ANYTHING. You should not be setting mind limits on things beforehand based on YOUR comfort level, it should be based on HER comfort level. If the time is "right" for her, and you stall, she will just move on. It is an unatrractive quality to a woman when she has to bend herself to fit your pace. She will NEVER tell you that, but she will most certainly feel it. Just like she does not want to be picked up for a date and asked "so what do you want to do?".... just like when she expects you to lead and have a plan, she also does not expect to have to wait for the day that YOU are comfortable to be more physical with her.
If you were to draw attraction on a chart, you would see it looks kind of like a dyno chart (LOL). it starts off at zero, builds up to a certain thing at a certain RPM (that being time), and past that, if you do nothing, there is a steep dive. Past "the powerband", you will have a big fall. That fall is when she has been ready, and you have done nothing because you weren't.
She will move on.
This is a real problem of the "nice guy" syndrome. Some guys like to actually feed their ego by saying "I'm a nice guy", thinking that makes them higher quality or better than a guy that isn't as "nice". It isn't about being nice or not nice at all. It has nothing to do with "nice". You can still open a door for her, be kind and caring to her, but when she wants you, not be a wimp and say "but I'm not ready".
You don't want to be that guy. Keep that in mind. It is a VERY important thing to understand.
Last edited by turbo2go; Jun 4, 2010 at 09:15 AM.
I actually am fairly aggressive with my pace, ensuring that the girl never feels like I am running behind her. I ran a gauge a few times way back, and you can do this yourself. I asked her "If we were a book and I was on page 5, what page would you be on? page 4? or page 6?". You want to know the replies I received? "I'm on page 10". I allow the woman to very comfortably tell me what she is feeling. That of course, was NOT GOOD. You don't want to be behind.
Now I am quite aggressive but in a very pleasant way. I push push push but I *NEVER* make her feel uncomfortable. I actually tell her when she pushes me away a bit or tells me to slow down "Look, I'm the guy. It's my job. I am just doing my job" and I smile at her. They always laugh... "hahaha, I see". They are completely comfortable with me and my pushy behavior because they know they are in control. If she pushes back, I show respect. Then I just try again later, and if she pushes away again, I show respect again. The whole dark cloud of awkwardness is never there with me. Because when she senses how comfortable I am with everything, she becomes comfortable. This is a very attractive quality to women. Comfort points in the direction of confidence.
Last edited by turbo2go; Jun 4, 2010 at 09:48 AM.
Here's a question for you turbo.
I meet girls. Hit it off, and over a course of time, I express sexual interest towards them. They're liking the attention, and are freaky(mexican girls ftw) and express the interest back. This is all before we do the dirty. as the date night approaches, and of course, we've built up all this sexual attraction they(women) ask me "why do you want me?"
I usually bull shit and cater the answer towards their personality but why do women ask this? is it a test?
I meet girls. Hit it off, and over a course of time, I express sexual interest towards them. They're liking the attention, and are freaky(mexican girls ftw) and express the interest back. This is all before we do the dirty. as the date night approaches, and of course, we've built up all this sexual attraction they(women) ask me "why do you want me?"
I usually bull shit and cater the answer towards their personality but why do women ask this? is it a test?
Have you tried asking THEM? Why do you bullshit an answer? Why not tell the truth? If there is mutual sexual attraction, there is nothing wrong with having responsible sex. Make sure she understands that. Make sure she knows you understand that. If she wants "more" and you don't, I suggest you don't compromise your integrity for sex and avoid the headaches.
Last edited by turbo2go; Jun 4, 2010 at 02:56 PM.
Because it catches me off guard.
I express sexual interest, and they know that I want to have sex.
I do tell the truth....but it catches me off guard, when they say..Why do you want me?
Is it a feeler question, trying to feel me out?
I think I've answered my own questions. Thanks Turbo.
I express sexual interest, and they know that I want to have sex.
I do tell the truth....but it catches me off guard, when they say..Why do you want me?
Is it a feeler question, trying to feel me out?
I think I've answered my own questions. Thanks Turbo.
I've never had that question but I don't like the vibe of it. No matter what I'm doing with her, it's enough for me to just stop and ask her what she means by it rather than give a random answer. As far as I'm concerned she is not giving me any sort of prize.
Just to update you guys, I tried talking to her again and I didn't see any sort of interest from her and doubt it'll go anywhere at this point...
I appreciate the help that many of you have given me, hopefully the next time around when I post here it'll lead to a better ending...
I appreciate the help that many of you have given me, hopefully the next time around when I post here it'll lead to a better ending...
Lying to girls for some ass is lame.
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
Lying to girls for some ass is lame.
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
Any guy who asks himself how an ugly guy can date a hot girl has a poor understanding of women, period.
Lying to girls for some ass is lame.
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
OP, you got lucky this time since u didn't spend much money.
I don't know why dudes insist of wining and dining women on first dates.
-you dont know if she's a psycho
-you dont know if she has a man
-you dont know what her MO is...
I've done starbucks and pizza and its been fine because i know how to talk.
Talking goes a long way...
Last edited by csmeance; Jul 5, 2010 at 12:21 AM.
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mlody
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Dec 4, 2019 02:11 PM







info!


on a first date or for that matter on the second or third. I'll happen when the time is right. 


So no noodz??
Lets see if I can find anything "imaginative"

