1killercls

No rebuttal required you dolt.

LOL..I have been married 11 HAPPY years..that pretty much says I have EXPERIENCE being married and all you have put down is what you assume it to be.



Call me when you can speak from EXPERIENCE.

1killercls

Oh..and sorry she dumped you.

amisconception

Right so you're denying the divorce statistics just because you're happy? And you're calling me a dolt?

So just because it's working for Killer at the moment it therefor works for everyone else in this country?

You really are an idiot.

amisconception

That's mature.

It has nothing to do with being dumped. And no, I wasn't dumped. Even if I was it's irrelevant to the points I'm making.

amisconception

Hey everyone just wanted to tell about a guy that survived a 16-story fall from a building.

http://www.startribune.com/local/11586351.html

Just so you guys know it is now safe to jump from 16-story buildings.

1killercls

Well you were wrong on your # it is 37%.
No I am saying that just because you suck at making it work does not mean everyone else will.
Yea...sure.

1killercls

Sure it doesn't....

1killercls

Age Women Men
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

http://www.divorcerate.org/

amisconception

Here is an excerpt from the Census Bureau report, with a link to the full report:

"The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43
percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. The study is based on
the National Survey of Family Growth, a nationally representative sample of women age 15 to
44 in 1995. Bramlett, Matthew and William Mosher. "First marriage dissolution, divorce, and
remariage: United States," Advance Data From Vital and Health Statistics; No.323. Hyattsville
MD: National Center for Health Statistics: 2 1.

"Data in the Census report were collected from both men and women, age 15 and over, and a
different methodology was used than in the NCHS report.

"About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in
divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages
may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce
is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men
and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by
the end of their lives. A similar statistical exercise was performed in
1975 using marital history data from the Current Population Survey
(CPS). Projections based on those data implied that about one-third of
married persons who were 25 to 35 years old in 1975 would end their
first marriage in divorce.

"This cohort of people, who in 1996 were about 45 to 55 years old, had
already exceeded these projections as about 40% of men and
women in these ages had divorced from their first marriage. Current
projections now indicate that the proportion could be as high as
50% for persons now in their early forties."

http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/p70-80.pdf

Get off the feminist bullshit. Just because it doesn't work it must be the man's fault? FYI I've been with SEVERAL girls who I've slept with and have tried to use their vaginas to manipulate me into marriage. Believe it or not I actually AM in demand. But I see through it.

amisconception

Good luck finding methodoly on that site. That's why I didn't use it.

But from that same site (you noob):
And then it quotes the SAME data you just posted which is JUST a distribution and NOT divorce figures.

Jesus where did you learn about statistics?

sasha

Sorry, but that's a bad analogy. You can't compare the laws of physics and human biology with human behavior.

amisconception

One man is married happily for 11 years. Therefor it's OK to extrapolate that it will (not can, not maybe) work for everyone else.

One man survived falling from a 16 story building. Therefor it's OK to extrapolate that it will (not can, not maybe) work for everyone else.

Looks good to me.

1killercls

You sound totally jaded in your posts that's all.

Just because you dont like strong women doesn't mean they are all bad or have some agenda of entrapment.

1killercls

One 26 year old man never married and evidently jaded as to relationship issues says that marriage is a bad thing.
Therefore the man who says you are speaking with no experience in the matter of marriage who has experience with marriage says you are wrong.


Me too.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I really don't think of it as self induced.

Also, if you really are afraid of the stats, then stay single. Don't get married. I never really thought about the stats. Never really cared much for it.

As for the financial aspect of it. I said before I probably won't have more cash, or maybe I would piss it away on cheap women, beer and cars like I did before I met my wife. I do make a lot more than my wife does, but if she didn't really care about being home with me and my son, she could make as much as I do. It's just not worth it.

I look at the fact that my parent were married for 26 years when my dad passed away and her parents have been married for close to 50 years. And a lot of my friends' parents are still married. I think the stats are what they are because a lot of people choose divorce over working out their problems. I hope to never have to make that choice. And if I do, then so be it. I'm just not going to live my life in fear of it.

ATXTSX

amis- it seems like you are saying that all divorces are because of the women, have you ever stopped and thought that maybe it could be the mans fault too? I know many friends where the girl actually makes more then her husband. You cant say that it is the girls fault, cause many could say that it is the mans as well. Women are not the route of all evil in a marriage. You have stereo typed all women to be money hungry and evil. It seems to me that Rav and Killer have found someone that they want the world to know they love and want to grow old with. That is what marriage is a sign of to me that you love and care for the other so much you want to tell everyone.


If you ever found the girl that treated you the way you thought she should and was with her and cared about her so much you would you think of marriage her? Or do you think you will forever be against marriage?

1killercls

Well said.

Street Spirit

Just that most people learn from it but then don't paint everyone with the same brush. You make it sound like you'll never find anyone you'll truly be happy with cuz all women suck.

Re: your reply about living together..... Good luck finding someone who you've dated for a long time, whom you care about a lot, and who cares about you, but who will want to live in two separate homes for the life of your relationship. Does that mean you'd be willing to date someone for your lifetime, but still live apart?

meaphool

+1

amisconception

Strong has nothing to do with it, buddy.

I don't like masculine women, however. If a chick busting your balls is your idea of a good time so be it.

wndrlst

What I've learned from this thread:

Women are EVIL BITCHES!!

I should end myself now before I connive to steal all of some poor man's money and security because I don't know how to attain those things on my own. And if I don't watch it my vagina will go berserk and try to convince hapless heroes to marry me unwitting of their eventual doom. Poor, poor men.

Wait, stop. I'm a woman, and I'm divorced...why don't I have all his money and assets? What did I do wrong??? Dammit, I knew I shoulda consulted the Women's Handguide to Screwing Over Innocent Men that I received as part of my vagina birthright. Damn. Guess I'll have to prime my girlyparts to try again...


Alright girlyparts, gather round, we need a pep talk!!

amisconception

You call it jaded I call it researched. I'm not just offering anecdotal evidence, but you don't want to see what I'm saying so it doesn't really.

And since when do you actually need to experience something to have an informed opinion of it? You don't.

I know you're too dense to understand that, but at least it's on the record here.

Again, just because I haven't had a wedding ceremony and spent 15k on a wedding ring does not mean I don't have the right to have an opinion. You can't simply denounce my opinion because I've never been married.

Really, are you this stupid? Is this all you can? Try to disqualify my points without actually addressing them? You really are a small man. I don't give a shit how tall you are.

Street Spirit

Mwuahaha.....Wait til Dan finds out I only really married him for half his salary and camera gear.... Mwuahahaha.

amisconception

It really has nothing to do with never finding anyone to truly be happy with.

Read people.

It has to do with marriage being a broken institution and only serviving (today) as a means of subsidiving a woman's lifestyle.

Men receive no concrete or legal benefits from marriage. ZERO.

Until you can show me a specific legal benefit to marriage FOR A MAN, my opinion stands.

Just because you don't like to hear it doesn't mean that you have to knock me for my opinion.

I don't NEEEEEEEEEEEEED one woman in my life FOR the rest of my life. I realize women are in abundant supply. If a girl doesn't want to be in MY life the way I want to spend it then she can find someone else. I don't have a problem with that whatsoever.

Some real codependent people here.

wndrlst

Well, he does have some pretty sweet camera gear. So when do you initiate the divorce proceedings?

wndrlst

Oh, and I'm sad that the smilie is no longer animated.


And the frownie face is purple now. Wtf.

Street Spirit

Gotcha. Marriage is all about legality and laws protecting men and women from the joys and downfalls of what may occur during that time. ....Loud and clear. Do you have potential GFs fill out contracts and read the fine print before dating you too...Just so that they know in advance just how pissed you'll be when they screw you over?

amisconception

Then who induced them? The happy Gods?

@ you thinking you've told me something profound. Obviously my default state is to NOT get married.

So you're saying were it not for your wife you wouldn't know how to manage your money?

My parents are both divorced. My mother was divorced, my step-father was divorced from his original marriage. I have friends in unhappy marriages. I have multiple friends of multiple families with themselves multiple friends with multiple familes who are divorced and/or miserable.

But I'm not using that as the only basis for my opinion. I'm using real statistics to infer that marriage is broken and ultimately really only beneficial for women.

Hence why the only people really defending marriage are women, and men who've accepted marriage blindly.

Street Spirit

A short time after he acquires a longer tele-photo....the 200mm sucked at the zoo. Shhh....

amisconception

No, not before dating because there are no legal consequences to dating a girl without full-disclosure.

And I'm not worried about women screwing me over if there's nothing they can do TO me to screw me over.

And yes, marriage is a legal institution. Hence the need for divorce lawyers and marriage certificates. So while you celebrate it as this wonderful and divine establishment blessed by God (or whatever), without a prenup, the courts (who favor women in divorce settlements) run your life and establish how assets are broken up, etc.

amisconception

They sure can be. Do you disagree?



You should have gotten a better divorce attorney. It's your right afterall.

Maybe your husband had no assets.

wndrlst

I hear what you're saying, and in YOUR case, perhaps that's true. I think of several couples off the top of my head, though, where the woman is the primary or ONLY breadwinner, and it's the man who has gained financial security from the marriage. And don't forget other legal benefits/issues such as tax breaks, insurance, rights involving decision-making etc. You know, all the things discussed in the gay marriage thread.

That said, the only thing that matters to YOU is what works for YOU in YOUR set of specific circumstances. If you don't ever want to get married, then don't. It's that simple, as far I can see.

I do think that some men seek the same intangible benefits from marriage that women seek. They like knowing that their woman wears their ring that was given as a symbol of the love they share. Maybe that sounds sappy to you because you haven't been there, or maybe you have been there and found you didn't care for it. Either way, to each their own, no?

Marriage also announces to the world, "hey, I'm taken - don't bother barking up my tree." And the ceremony itself is a rite of passage and a celebration of commitment that involves the family and loved ones of the couple in an event meant to further cement their relationship. Is it truly necessary? Of course not.

Street Spirit

Shocking!

I figured you couldn't have gotten THIS jaded about ALL women with only having been screwed over by a girl. You've had it all around you to help drill it into you.

I don't fault you for not wanting to get married, just like I don't fault people who don't want children. It's certainly not for everyone. I'm more curious as to why you think living with someone or marrying someone somehow announces weakness in your manhood, means you're co-dependent, can't think for yourself, can't work if both people want to work to make it work, and that statistics and previous experiences must dictate everyone around you and the rest your life.

There are a few people very close to me who I can't see ever wanting to get married, but are okay with long-term relationships. In fact, I'd be surprised if they ever wanted to marry. Some people just think it's easier to end a relationship rather than a marriage. I guess it makes them feel like they have an easier way out if things don't work down the road.

wndrlst

Certainly I don't disagree. They CAN be, but putting out the assumption that all of us ARE is taking things a bit far. Do you disagree?

Take a nap.



I didn't have a divorce attorney. I didn't want his things. (And yes, he had plenty to take.) See, the thing is, I married someone I not only loved, but liked and respected. That didn't change when we decided not to continue living our lives together. And because he also married someone he respected and trusted, he didn't get screwed over. No prenup, no attorneys, no battles. He kept his, I kept mine, the things we acquired together over the years were divided equitably with NO arguing, because we were both fair-minded in our approach.

dom

amisconception

Wealth is key for marriage, study claims

A man's riches, not his looks, are most important if he wants to settle down, according to a pioneering study of the "marriage market" by psychologists.

Although there have been many lab based studies that have suggested that women are drawn to men of high status, power and wealth, rather than just looks, a new study provides hard evidence of the marriage market in action.

The survey of more than 20,000 American men, based on historical data from the turn of the last century, suggests how when men become in short supply, for instance in the wake of the First World War, women are happy to put up with poorer partners of lesser social sway.

And when men are commonplace, women are in the driving seat and become correspondingly more choosy, driving a hard bargain for the richest and most powerful men, with the marriage prospects of a male pauper being "drastically reduced".

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/mai...cirmarr112.xml

amisconception

I'm not going to address the intangible benefits of marriage because I don't agree with them. However it's pointless to argue them because of subjective opinion.

I will, though, mention that I am talking about general trends.

Women love to make all these points about themselves and their own experiences and about how unique they are. That still does not change either trends or statistics and the inferences that can be made from those statistics. As a young man, with a future ahead of me, not looking at those trends with a cold eye is foolish.

And just because there have been SOME good experiences, and I'm not talking about 3 generations ago when times were different, does not mean that it is SMART to go into marriage blindly (which is what some of you propose).

Here's a quick note folks: Love is not everything. Your happy feelings are not everything. Contrary to Disney and Hollywood fantasies that are shoved down our throats, that's not how it works. There are real, beneath the surface issues here that are a hard pill for some of you to swallow.

Don't attack me I'm just the messenger.

Street Spirit

You keep posting studies and statistics. The thing is, relationships (whether it be romantic or just friendships) are not based only on logic or studies....they involve people who have EMOTIONS. It makes a world of difference when you stop looking at numbers and think of it in terms of living beings.

amisconception

Actually, contrary to what you may assume, most people that I speak to still believe that marriage is some utopia of happiness... Even though most of there marriages are either failing or over.

It's one reason why divorced men end up in relationships quickly after divorcing.

I never once said it made you weak. If you don't take a cold hard look at the facts, though, you could be in for a world of hurt. Phil Collins now has to settle for $50,000,000 to pay for his divorce. He was only married for 9 years. Not a bad payday eh?

And again, what's the point of making a marraige "work" for a man if there is no sense in getting married in the first place? It's highly irrational if you consider not only the long-term potential consequences of losing a lot of $ in the process but the fact that putting on a wedding ring and signing a marriage certificate brings you absolutely nothing.

But that's why women use their vaginas. It's their most powerful tool into coercing a man into marriage. Women know that they have power in their sexuality. So they use it to snatch men.

Sorry if that hurts your feelings but it's part of your biology.

It is. Long term relationships are just as rewarding as marriage if you don't fool yourself into believe that marriage brings you something that is really only a psychological trick.

I don't knock people for being married, though. I do however believe some people shouldn't be married.

Street Spirit

I don't think anyone is suggesting you marry a girl from your one-night stand because she's cute and 29, the age she thinks she should get married.

OMG!!! A relationship...err..I mean, marriage involves work??? Sh*t.

Every relationship of any kind (family, friendship, relationship) evolves and goes through ups and downs. Do you really think that's a shocking statement? Maybe you just run when that time comes, so you think that news should surprise us.