3 year relationship ended tonight, I'm a little drunk and smoked for the first time in a long time tonight and still feel like shit. I'm sure you guys will have some good input on stuff I should do and stuff I shouldn't do

 

There is no future in the past - move fwd, don't look back and learn from the relationship; i.e. what you look for in a companion. Don't compromise the next time around - look at it as an investment. Get out, observe the women around you. You can learn alot about a prospective female when she has had a few drinks in her - the true inner-soul is exposed. Your relationship ended for a reason - don't make the same mistake again. Ask Tucker Max.

 

You are 20, there is plenty of sweet ass on the horizon.

 

Every end is just a new beginning... Don't start getting drunk every night and so forth... That is what I did a few years back and it landed me in rehab

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

meh, you're 20. You should be single.

 

fuck her mom

 

Stay single

 

Time for a nice vacation in New Zealand.

 

"End of an era" is a little melodramatic, but you'll be fine.

Share the details, though, if you want good input (not just the general stuff).

 

Know you don't want to hear it but you are better off. If it ended, it ended for a good reason and you should not think of going back

 

ya end of an era is a bit melodramatic, and I know I'm only 20 but three years is a long time to commit to someone at any age if you ask me. I just feel like I lost a best friend and that is what hurts more I think, I don't really plan on becoming self destructive or anything. If anything I plan on bettering myself by getting close with my friends again and health and that shit.

There is just a hole in my life now that I don't know how to fill.

As for details the relationship had tons of bumps just like any relationship would but there where a few that couldnt be forgotten and where never forgiven on either side, both of us knew that because of this there was no healing the damage done and we decided that it was best to move on for both of us.

 

So who cheated on who?

 

^^^

 

If you play your cards right she will probably F-Buddy you all summer even if she has a new guy.

 

There was no cheating, and I doubt there will be anything short of facebook creeping

 

i have gotten a lot of great input in my thread... i poured my heart out on here basically ... in the end people get a much better feel from where youre coming from when you include details. put it out there and we can help you out better. and sorry about losing your girl.

 

What details do you guys want/need?

 

Sucks dude. But like everyone else said, you are young and you have a lot of things to experience, both good and bad. Focus on the good times you had with her, remember the hurt and move on. The best thing I can say is you should stay busy.

Good luck.

 

If we knew we wouldn't ask, now would we?

 

Listen to this man.


Go have fun and enjoy being 20.

 

The answer is similar to what happens if someone close to you dies. Time, and time alone, will heal this. So I'd agree with not getting all self destructive over it, because that won't heal anything. It's going to hurt until it doesn't hurt any more, and that process will take as long as it takes. Simple as that. Don't rush it, don't fight it.

Two things: There are things in life you can only learn through difficult times. You've invested 3-4% of your life learning something. Figure out what you can take away from this and be better for it. Take what you learn into your next relationship. If you can do that, it's not lost time. Second, do as you are doing - focus on things to do and other people you can connect with.

Best of luck to you!

 

What "bumps" happened? Why are they so bad that you could not forgive her (or vice-versa)?

 

i went through this in my last relationship, it was 2 years long, if i could go back in time i wouldnt do it over. just start hanging out with buddies, youll find another chick. you're only 20 man.

 

I broke up with my GF around your age, 21, it was a 3.5 year relationship. A little over 2 years later, I moved away, had awesome experiences, met alot of cool girls, and really got closer with my boys and family.

Now i'm living in HB, california, tons of hot chicks everywhere, and that life seems so long ago.

Cherish what you had. Thank her for bringing joy into your life (don't have to literally thank her) and as hard as it is, just move on. Life will get easier, you may never forget her, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Your a young gun, now is the time to have some new, and unforgettable experiences you may not have been able to have in a relationship.

 

the specifics of the bumps arent really important the end result of neither of us being able to trust each other is what killed it in the end.

And I know I'm 20 and there is tons of other women out there and I should go hang out with the boys more, my only problem is that with the friends I had before the relationship not many of them are around or are that close with me any more. I fought so hard for this relationship and pushed so many of my friends away that I ended up losing some of them that were the closest to me. The ones I still have feel more like acquaintance's then friends, even though this isnt true.

I feel lonely, for the past two days I've had more people reply to this thread than text or call me combined. One of my friends that I would like to become closer with is also a good friend of hers now because of the relationship, thats cool with me I don't expect him to not be friends with her now but I just don't feel like its fair. and I know this is selfish and that I'm ranting but that is what this section is for and that is what I feel like I need to do right now. back to were I was, I just don't feel like its fair, she has her own friends that spend probably every day with her or at least talk to her daily and she gets my friends too? Her friends arent exactly jumping to say "hey steve lets hang out" in fact I've only talked to one of them since this whole thing happened and I feel like it was purely out of pity. I guess this is the problem of dating pretty women. I'm just lost and don't know what to do right now.

And to top it all off I havent been single in so long that I feel awkward talking to girls! WTF I used to be smooth as shit and now I can barley muster up anything more than hey. Fuck my life.

BTW

I just needed to type what came to my mind as I thought about it, with few people to talk to this is a great outlet for me, on that note a lot of what I said was based purely on in the moment emotions and isn't a reflection of how I feel all the time. And thank you everyone, without acurazine and all its followers this would have been harder.

 

You can always feel free to express your thoughts and feelings here, like you said it's what this forum is for. You also will get plenty of advice even if you don't always want to hear it. I'm going through a very rough time myself, just hang in there bro, and try to focus on life and friends as much as you can

 

One important lesson I learned after my first break-up, which also applies to you: don't push your friends when you are in a relationship. Always make time for them regardless of your dating status!