Do you believe in the "measuring stick" theory?
09-07-2005, 01:03 PM
#1
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Do you believe in the "measuring stick" theory?
I was talking to a girl that I know at the gym last night and she says Kim (my ex) will always be the measuring stick for relationships to come. Then I thought about it...she is kind of right...does anyone else do this. I think its because is my first "true love"...and its over now!
09-07-2005, 01:40 PM
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Nope, I can't compare my exes, unless I compare a psycho, with an alcoholic, to a liar....
I'm actually trying to stay far, far away from that type of guy and am looking for somebody totally opposite now, what can I say? Those qualities just don't do it for me anymore.
I'm actually trying to stay far, far away from that type of guy and am looking for somebody totally opposite now, what can I say? Those qualities just don't do it for me anymore.
09-07-2005, 03:08 PM
#7
My Garage
Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
Nope, I can't compare my exes, unless I compare a psycho, with an alcoholic, to a liar....
I'm actually trying to stay far, far away from that type of guy and am looking for somebody totally opposite now, what can I say? Those qualities just don't do it for me anymore.
I'm actually trying to stay far, far away from that type of guy and am looking for somebody totally opposite now, what can I say? Those qualities just don't do it for me anymore.
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09-07-2005, 06:55 PM
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I think we do that subconciously, whether we think we do or not.
However, there are people who openly compare partners to their ex's...those are the people that have an issue.
However, there are people who openly compare partners to their ex's...those are the people that have an issue.
09-07-2005, 07:06 PM
#9
Suzuka Master
My g/f and I broke up 3 weeks ago after 3.5 yrs. I stand 5'7" with my ex wife being 5'10". So, when I met my g/f, all I cared and like about her was she was 5'4 and 125 lbs. Boy, do I miss her like mad, but she is one of those that once the mind is made, cannot be changed.
Being back in the 'market' sucks. Maybe it cause of my age (I am not afraid to say I am 49) but at this stage in life, it is just different. Women tend to want the 'moon', then complain there are no good men around... go figure!
Being back in the 'market' sucks. Maybe it cause of my age (I am not afraid to say I am 49) but at this stage in life, it is just different. Women tend to want the 'moon', then complain there are no good men around... go figure!
09-07-2005, 07:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Eggplant-EX
My g/f and I broke up 3 weeks ago after 3.5 yrs. I stand 5'7" with my ex wife being 5'10". So, when I met my g/f, all I cared and like about her was she was 5'4 and 125 lbs. Boy, do I miss her like mad, but she is one of those that once the mind is made, cannot be changed.
Being back in the 'market' sucks. Maybe it cause of my age (I am not afraid to say I am 49) but at this stage in life, it is just different. Women tend to want the 'moon', then complain there are no good men around... go figure!
Being back in the 'market' sucks. Maybe it cause of my age (I am not afraid to say I am 49) but at this stage in life, it is just different. Women tend to want the 'moon', then complain there are no good men around... go figure!
09-07-2005, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by chef chris
I think we do that subconciously, whether we think we do or not.
However, there are people who openly compare partners to their ex's...those are the people that have an issue.
However, there are people who openly compare partners to their ex's...those are the people that have an issue.
09-08-2005, 01:03 AM
#12
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Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
They once did?
09-08-2005, 08:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Nicky Pass
I was talking to a girl that I know at the gym last night and she says Kim (my ex) will always be the measuring stick for relationships to come. Then I thought about it...she is kind of right...does anyone else do this. I think its because is my first "true love"...and its over now!
I think the measuring stick metaphor works if you don't mature, don't grow, don't think and don't process.
09-08-2005, 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by ric
I think it is natural to "process" one's previous relationships in light of a new one.....the brain loves analysis and comparison, so the instinct is pretty deep. What works about this relationship that didn't before, etc...... but I think that is different than the 'measuring stick' metaphor, which assumes that one will never achieve a better relationship than the one that has ended. That's a sad state of affairs that then dooms anyone else entering your life - to be measured up against a failed relationship.
I think the measuring stick metaphor works if you don't mature, don't grow, don't think and don't process.
I think the measuring stick metaphor works if you don't mature, don't grow, don't think and don't process.
very true...
09-08-2005, 10:41 AM
#16
Fuct in the hed!
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Originally Posted by phipark
I didn't after my first gf. Now, I find myself being very picky after my last gf. She definitely did something to me.
09-08-2005, 03:09 PM
#17
Not Asian
Originally Posted by Nicky Pass
Thats how I feel!
We just kind of know more of what we want. You don't want anything less than your last relationship. You want a little more because you wouldn't have broken up with her if that was what you wanted.
09-16-2005, 11:05 AM
#21
TL = Tranny Lubrication
Originally Posted by ric
I think it is natural to "process" one's previous relationships in light of a new one.....the brain loves analysis and comparison, so the instinct is pretty deep. What works about this relationship that didn't before, etc...... but I think that is different than the 'measuring stick' metaphor, which assumes that one will never achieve a better relationship than the one that has ended. That's a sad state of affairs that then dooms anyone else entering your life - to be measured up against a failed relationship.
I think the measuring stick metaphor works if you don't mature, don't grow, don't think and don't process.
I think the measuring stick metaphor works if you don't mature, don't grow, don't think and don't process.
09-16-2005, 02:23 PM
#26
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Bareback
Man if you think of your "parent" that way you are in for a load of issues...
You dont think about it. Its all subconsious. Supposedly.
09-16-2005, 02:40 PM
#27
TL = Tranny Lubrication
In part it is subconsious - however it's limited to values - behaviour and naturing, and not sexual in nature (that's just wrong)
Mothers create a nurturing bond with sons, which helps shape the type of men they become. ... If mothers see themselves as important (but not too important), their sons feel important and worthy of love.
A father builds a home. of self-esteem that his daughter. will live in for the rest of her life.
Mothers create a nurturing bond with sons, which helps shape the type of men they become. ... If mothers see themselves as important (but not too important), their sons feel important and worthy of love.
A father builds a home. of self-esteem that his daughter. will live in for the rest of her life.
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