TLD

As you all know, I asked out my shy coworker recently and on the day we were supposed to hang, she told me she was filing her taxes because she needed the money. I have no problem with her cancelling, but my problem is that she waited until I called to cancel. This irresponsbile girl had my number, but she waited for my call which was an hour before our meeting time to cancel and I found that to be rude. She told me to call her and see if she was back in time to salvage the day and I told her no, you have my number, call me if you get back early. Of course, the girl never called and I'm dropping her like a hot potato, but one female friend I spoke to told me I was in the wrong for not calling her back and I told my friend she was totally in the wrong for not calling me ahead of time to cancel. I know for sure that I did the right thing, but why does my ignorant female friend think that I was wrong? What the hell is wrong with some girls?

GeishaGirl

No idea why she thinks you're wrong It was definitely a rude thing to do, not even bothering to call if she couldn't make it You shouldn't have to chase anyone.

Sarlacc

Now you resent a co-worker. And now you know the beginnings of why you DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.

You didnt get a chance to watch it really get messy. Been there, done that....twice, never again.

GoDucksCLSPride

In addition, IMO it is pretty reasonable to believe that she may not have been as excited about this date as you were. If she were truely into the date, she wouldnt have cancelled.

Believe what you will, but backing out of a date at the last minute isnt a message worth a 1000 words. Unless grandma died, It's usually only worth 4 - "She aint into it." - no matter what the excuse.

TLD

The backout is not what disgusts me about this girl but rather how she did it. I'm not overly concerned with cancelled dates because cancellations can live to see another day, but I will not tolerate irresponsibility. I read this girl's body language and demeanor very well; she wasn't not into me as you say, she wanted me to chase her so she played the ever so stupid, let me test him to see how much he'll chase me game. I will not tolerate such rudeness and irresponsibility from anyone and because of her shortsightedness, she earned my distrust. There's no coming back from such incredibly stupid actions so I hope this girl learns a lesson from this.

TLD

Geisha, why can't all my female friends be as smart as you?

mfkitson

She always has a good reasonable outlook. I wish all women (and men for that matter) were like her....

supermegaglossy

if there's anything i'm a stickler on, it's phone etiquette. if someone doesn't call me when they say the will, they get cut and i move on. it's pretty obvious when someone doesn't want to put in the effort... and then denies it. it's like, dude, i do the same thing to other guys, i think i can recognize it when you do it to me. this happened to me just recently, so it's got me riled up.

this girl would have, or at least SHOULD have called you earlier that day to cancel-- that is, assuming she cared. but you can take her cue and move on. no loss.

supermegaglossy

you are EXACTLY right. girls (or at least I do) play "games" when we're not too sure about a guy and we want to know if he really likes us or not. if we really like a guy, we'll just call him. it may take a while to get up the courage, but we will call...

oh and if a girl really likes a guy, she won't pull a stupid stunt like almost standing him up.

spidey07

I'll chime in real quick with some dating advice.

A first date should be during the week. That way there's no pressure. Something fun and light like grabbing appetizers or cocktails/wine. Allowing you to get to know each other. Then maybe 2nd or 3rd date could be on the weekend, with firm plans and a time.

Movies for a first date are a bad move IMHO, you don't really get to know each other and aren't able to talk...no chance for a spark.

So that's all I'm gonna say. She probably thought "gee I could go out with my friends or sit in a theater with a guy I barely know twidling my thumbs"

Also some women just don't call guys. Its how they were brought up by their parents "girls don't call boys" - I've seen it all the time. Doesn't mean they are rude, just how they play the game.

TLD

This is the 21st century, spidey. I don't care how old fashioned a girl thinks she is by not calling. If a girl waits until the guy calls to cancel, she's not being old fashioned, she's being rude. I don't buy that girls don't call guys excuse. If a girl really believes that "girls don't call boys", that's a girl I don't want to know.

MisterMehoff

she sounds pretty emotionless...especially towards you. I don't think she really cared if she went out with you or not. Those types of women only have one chance to pull a stunt like wait for me to call her for her to cancel on me. Who does she think she is. She really has some nerve. That's when the "B" word would have slipped out of my mouth...sorry, but i'm upset for you, Batin.

Next time you see her at work and you pass her in the hallway, act like she doesn't exist because you obviously don't exist to her. I really despise women who are ignorant enough to play stupid games like that. Move on Batin.


Oh yeah, if you have to work so hard to get someone to notice you, she's definitely not worth it.

GeishaGirl

awww thanks guys!

I agree that she should have called. I don't buy that chicks don't call guys thing either. What if you hadn't called and just waited at the place you were supposed to meet? I don't know if you had an actual plan on where to meet etc, but still when you make plans with someone there is the assumption that there is actually a plan. The point being that the other person has cleared some of their personal time so that they can spend it with you. It is unacceptable and of course rude to wait until the last moment to cancel. The other person could have been doing something else instead of getting ready/waiting for your ass

theroadrunner

from the sounds of it your a little bit of a player batin
so here is the thing. She wants to know how serious you are about her. Give her one more call if you like her, easy date like spidey said and nothing none to real. Maybe a date where you and friends go out with her and her friends. but if it's not rollin don't worry or get mad. As they said in the 80's "girl do go away mad, girl just go away" (god who was that?????)

theroadrunner

stupid MT "girl don't go away mad, girl just go way" (man who was that)

nokio

i may be missing something, but did you crown yourself the love doctor at some point?

TLD

I saw the girl at work and she was apologizing and seemed remorseful. I told her not to worry about it, you had to do your taxes, it's ok. She felt even more guilty. I saw her again a couple of hours later and she was apologizing again. I told her we should talk so we're gonna talk in private when our nosey coworkers aren't watching us and giggling. Let's see what happens.

MisterMehoff

Hopefully when you talk in private, you can tell her that you felt like it was a waste of time for you to talk to her if she can just blow you off like that...Then let her jiggle your balls in her mouth.

55M2G7L

dop the flutting bish

nicholbr

oh man, right when i thought the story was going to drift away...A TWIST


I can't wait to hear the exciting conclusion of the dominican crusades of TLD

GeishaGirl

Just be careful about it. If someone can do something that rude in the first place the possibility to do it again is always there. You don't want to start something with someone who has a habit of doing shit like that

ClutchPerformer

Motley Crue. From the Dr. Feelgood album.

Jinen

Yes, that was rude of her to do...but then again we don't know her reasons, so let's not judge too quickly...let's give her the benefit of the doubt and hear her explanation...then we'll decide whether to let her be or go out with her...

however, just in general, i don't think it's a wise decision to date someone who you work with...it just becomes too complicating and you get flashbacks and stuff...what was that statement that someone said before....ummm...don't shit where you eat, hahaha...ya, that basically covers it up lol

GeishaGirl

I thought the reason was that she had to do her taxes. Even if she needed to do them, she should have called him as soon as she knew so he could have made other plans. Its not like she was dying in a hospital somewhere or couldn't get to a phone. If she had a real reason for pulling a bitch move she should have said something about it so there wouldn't be this kind of misunderstanding. IMO it was an inconsiderate move all around Good luck with that one though Dean, let us know if she redeems herself somehow

GINge!

haha, I think the saying is "Don't get your meat where you earn your bread"

TLD

Geisha, you should be the voice of reason for women everywhere. Tell those women to stop pulling bitch moves.

GeishaGirl

why thank you

btw what did she have to say when you two got to talk in private?

SilviaGTO

but but but geisha says im her voice of reason, how can she be my voice of reason..




oh but seriously. any woman who wants to go out on a date, will put their damn taxes off.

oh id love to go out on a date with you but.. oh i think i need a tooth pulled. call later.

taxes?! lame.

GeishaGirl

heh you are my voice of reason!!! I learned from the master

TLover

Why is it that the so-called Love Doctor asks more questions on here than anyone else?

SilviaGTO

I dont know, you might want to ask the other people who already asked that original question in the same thread.

nokio

still dont know...i think he came up with the title himself too

TLD

OMG, if you only knew how many pm's I get from guys asking for dating advice. I never reveal who they are out of respect for their privacy, but if any of them wanted to step up for TLD, they'll do it on their own without any coersion from me. I help younger guys go through many of the trials and tribulations of dating that TLD went through, but I'm only human and I run into games and conflicts occasionally too.

nokio

once again, did you name yourself the love doctor? just cuz people pm you for some strange reason doesnt mean you know what to do in woman situations

i just want to know how the whole "im the love doctor" thing started

TLD

name your problem and I'll help you solve it.

advice thread

TLover

Then why can't you solve/answer your own problems/questions?

GeishaGirl

Sometimes its good to have an outside opinion When you're too close to the situation the mind can get clouded and its hard to see things clearly. Kind of like how people can give others really good advice, but in their own situations they don't practice what they preach.

nokio

if i need advice ill send a letter to dear abby thank you very much most others dont seem to take you seriously either

sorry for raining on your parade...but i know people who think like you (in that they can solve other peoples issues, and take it upon themselves to do so because they are so 'great' at something) and they are just lost

theroadrunner

It's ok though I talk on here. But I am not "the love Doctor", or anywhere nere that. Take my advice, threw it out the window. whatever, it's a board not the help desk of I know everything. I understand where you come from on this batin.

TLD

Geisha, you're my homie.