Ok, sorry for the "poll" i know how most of you don't like polls but i have to see what my decision would be if the above in quotes were to happen... Thanks MisterMehoff for the advice but what you said has been playing in my head over and over again... What do i do if she were to come back???

Now if you need to know what has happened click on the link in my Signature to see what has happened the past week/months... Now i just want to ask the members of ACURAzine since i have my faith in you guys... and depending on what you guys decide, i will try to do... depends on how i feel at the time it happens but i just want to know what would you do in my situation...

If your wife left without notice one day... you came to her to ask why and you just broke it off just to end it finally... Then she returns at 3AM in the morning knocking on your door crying saying she wants you back... What would you do?

Thanks in advance for the answers, opinions, advice, and comments...

Remember: we have a daughter of 13 months... which makes this decission harder... just put yourself in my shoes... Again... thanks...

 

no imput huh???





:bump:

 

I'd take her back but I would make damn sure to lay down some good base rules that she and you both need to follow to keep things like this from happening again. I think what those rules should be has to be set up by you and her together, make sure to cover everything that bothers you.

 

I like that... We tried it but she broke it once we had our baby... rule was that we can chat/IM with friends that we knew or wanted eachother to know but no strangers... if it were to be a stranger it had to be of the same sex... Like me with all of you... you guys are strangers... but for the most part are all male because its a car forum... I informed her that there is a low percentage of female pop on here and most are either married and or with a guy already... but if you would see her IM... :shakehead that just dissapointed me...

I guess you are write... setting some ground rules for us both to follow implemented by both of us would be a good idea if we got back together... it looks like ACURAzine favors in me taking her back so far... i wonder what it will turn out to be when she actually does... if she does come running back... i'll make sure to let you guys in on it... i trust your opinions and/or comments, and your advice is way up there in quality... then again... so is an ACURA...

 

I think its favored because you do have 3 years with this one, and she obvisouly got close to you, changed you, etc. And you also have a child together, if you two can make it work, then it is much better for that child to see her parents together, and that way she could even possibly have a sibling at some point down the road.

 

need to find out what was going on in her head when she left. What motivated her, why she felt she needed to leave on such a sudden basis. Work through that, but really really work through that - not just the words or the motions, but the whole thing. Depending upon what the real reasons are for her leaving you, it may be that not getting back together again would be prudent.

Then, if you both think that after discussion (which might be best conducted with the efforts of a GOOD couples therapist, who can act as an impartial observer and someone who can help the two of you communicate about the big issue stuff0, you have the basis for a decent relationship, then you get back together, but if/when you do, then really re-embrace the new relationship. If you hold her leaving you over her head in the future, it will only lead to ill will that will backfire at some point in the future.

 

Update:

She asked me today... She actually called me last night... and she was about to tell me and i cut her off... i told her that i didn't want to do anything over the phone... (I see it as Disrespect )... I told her that if she wanted to speak to me about our relationship we had to confront me 1 on 1...

Today, she wanted to speak with me... so i took her and my daughter to Denny's... Anyways, we talked and i told her the things you gave me advice upon... like the conditions to the relationship... i also told her she needed to prove her love for me as I had for her... because i will do anything for her... but my daughter will always come first...

In order...
1. My Daughter...
2. Her...
3. Me...

Still... i said i would think about her comeing back... that most likely i would... but that she had disrespected our home... that we would have to move... so i'm guessing of getting an apartment out of this county... I'll need to find a really good job first too though... i don't know where to start... I am thinking of heading out for the CHP... but as things are looking... i don't know... i'm lost right now... hopefully everything turns out good... NO TICKETS FROM ME IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF ACURAzine... that is if i get in...

I'll just have to put my mind to it... I think i'm going to take her back... i love her with everything i got... she's the one that holds my heart and soul... first things first... moving...

BTW: today when i went to drop her off at her moms... she kissed me... i miss that... but i was like

 

dang....good luck bro sounds like you have your hands full. Remember your daughter is number one. Whatever makes sense for her.