OK, HERES THE DILEMA.


I met this girl at one of my old jobs, we became cool and exchanged phone numbers, I liked her, she never knew. we talked all the time and we have SOO MUCH IN COMMON she plays ball, she's very athletic, Pueto Rican and Black, she'
s gotta fatty, NICE body everything. i've known her for 1 year and a half and this guy was tryin to talk to her, so I gave him some space, and he never succeded. last saturday, me my brother, my cousin and her and her 2 friends went for a night out, Movies, Bowling, And out to eat. I mean she is so much like me. At the end of the night, I couldn't resist but to tell her how i felt about her.

I told her I've been crushing on her since i met her and I think we shoud get to knwo each other BETTER on a relationship basis. When I said that Her mouth dropped. and she said To me she cannot do that, because she likes our friendship and all the dudes she dated that were freinds first didnt end up so well. but I figured that to be an Excuse. Im not sure what to do now, she still calls every once and a while, but I feel like a Jack ass. cause i genuinely Like this girl and I've never asked out a girl before and got a "NO" this is the first time, i feel liek shit what would you guys do.


BTW I KNOW MY PARAGRAPHS AREN'T PERFECTLY FORMATTED, PUT THE DAMN FLAME GUNS DOWN!

 

instead of telling her how you felt, you should have just whooped out your dick and asked her if she "wanted to fuck"


j/k...



all kidding aside...you don't tell a girl that dooood....a girl is suppose to do that to you. You just gave up your leverage...move on...

 

Well you did everything you can. Best just to not talk to her or see her again because you don't need the hassle.

You put it out there, she declined.

In the future don't become friends with women you want to date or even find remotely attractive. The "friend" angle rarely works.

-edit- an neither does pooring your heart to them or telling them how you feel. spooks them out big time.

 

You can do 2 things at this point..

1) Keep haggling and hitting on her until she caves-in

2) move on and find another "fatty" so you call it...

 

Shoulda made a move WAY long ago

Edit: and telling a girl how you feel isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you say it after a year and a half of "friendship" and tell her that you "felt this way since the first time you met her" you look like a wacko.

 

yea..your only solution is to get her drunk and take advantage of her..cause when she's sober..u aint gettin no game son...

 

Strangely enough, I totally agree with you on this one. I don't think I know one guy who has succeeded when they confessed their love to someone that they were good friends with. Definitely let the girl make that move or at least have someone else figure out if she feels the same way. Now, your friendship isn't as great as before and you don't have a woman to show for it.

I say, move on and try to get the friendship back to where it was before your dumass move.

 

you're on the friend ladder...give up.

 

Do NOT spend any more time with her, if you want a relationship and you have entered into the friendship catagory your going to be wasting your time. I wasted 6 years chasing a "friend", failed and ruined a friendship, remain casual friends at best.

Like other's said, guys don't have that talk with woman, you should have leaned over and kissed her about a year and five months ago. The nice guy finshes last and he isn't what woman want, so don't try to be SNAG(sensitive new age guy) your going to have a lonely life or worse yet meet a woman just like your mother if you do.

Men are the gas, woman are the brakes.

Sorry man, I know what your going through because I've been there and its no fun at all. But at least your better armed for next time!

 

It's never over. You are just behind. You should have never told her that you had a crush on her and didn't do anything for so long. It just shows that you are a pussy. Not that we all haven't had a crush on someone, but you don't let them know that. That's like showing your crappy poker hand before going all in. You will only get called if they have a better hand. Which means, they will only give you a positive response if they have a crush on you too. If they don't, then you end up looking like a douche bag.

Here's what you can do. At least she's still calling. You have to learn to use her. Yes USE her. By use I mean, hang out with her but don't give a rat's ass about her. Don't be mean or rude but just don't care about her in a cool and confident sort of way. I know it's hard and seemingly counter-intuitive but girls like that when guys act like that. Hit on other girls in front of her. Not intentionally in front but do it with no regard for her being there. If there is a hot girl that walks by, say hi to the other girl in front of her.

This is all an act in the beginning just to get her interest. Once you get a girl's interest, then you can start caring for her and showing it. But if she really doesn't care about you then just give up and move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Move on...Don't even talk to her or hang out with her... I have made the same mistake before...I was friends with this girl for a over a year and started to like her when I finally told her how she felt she told me she had felt the same way a long time ago but not anymore and just wanted to be friends....I made the mistake of still being friends with her and a few weeks later she told me she wanted to date. We dated for 2 weeks and broke up....we were friends for a while after but of course things didnt work....

Save yourself the time and effort and stress....Move on buddy there are plenty of other women out there who will have much in common as well.

 

The Friend Zone

 

Definitely ladder.

Think this link is again in order.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

 

That's really, really good advice.

However, someone said they didn't know of one person that worked on... As I recall, Scott and I were just friends for about 6 months before he said on the phone one night, "Hey, I uh... I think I like you like... more than a friend." It was so cute (especially coming from such a schmuck as he is... I think earlier in the conversation he had told me I needed to get off my fat ass and exercise), so yeah. Sometimes it works. You're not out of the running, you're just behind.

 

She now has a tight grip on your balls and as stated above you have lost all your leverage.

 

????

 

Dude just tell her straight up either theirs a relationship or not. Screw friendship. Unless shes drunk then u can take advantage of her.

 

hang in there and continue to be a friend. Eventually she will give you some. I waited 9 years to do one friend I had, and it was soooooooo worth the wait.

 

In my experience, just cut your loses and run. Your friendship will never be the same and it leaves more room for her to mess with your emotions intensionally or not.

 

yeah ... either play it cool around her or cut her off. Either way if you ever had a chance she will come running. Remember girls are stupid. Men are "smart." What that means is that women don't do ANYTHING according to reason. So you must react/interact with them the opposite of what you THINK you should do. I hope that makes sense ...

 

act like you never spilled out guts out to her at all.

no need to stress over this stuff...

 

Seriously, opposites attract. Why on earth would anyone want someone so like yourself? Having nothing in common makes the relationship work out better in the long run. It's all about compromising.

You did the right thing though by asking her. What did you lose besides some skin? Shit, thick skin is key!!

Now since she said "friends", just move on. It's not worth pursuing especially knowing how she feels. You can turn it into that dawson's creek shit if you actually don't show any more interest in her. She'll come around and want to be with you. Women always want shit they can't have...vice versa for men.

 

i Dont know mabey i am weird, i fell for her. and she's just like me, its been a few days now, and she calls less. we have yet to go out again so i think im just going to delete her number out of my phone and when I see her well chat, but other than that leave it be. Damn i mean i just figured she was perfect. Its like everything i want in a girl she has. perfect body, perfect face, perfect personality, but IT WASNT MEANT TO BE, thats why i got dis'sed

 

The phone number delete is a very good tool to keep yourself from calling. I've done it before when some girl doesn't call me back so I don't get the urge to call back. The general rule of thumb is, if you called and left a message and she doesn't call back. You don't call back until she calls first. It's just not a good idea.

 

That is some good advice! I use the same delete trick myself, and swear by it.

 

I saw her yesterday after work, I went to the local Happy Harry's (for those of you who know that store) and She was in there. She said "Hey Kenny! How are you?" I said "tired, I just got here from work" (i work out of state so LONG DRIVE)

She came up to me and gave me a kiss and a hug. (this went on When we became better friends so nothing SPECIAL) and she talked to me for a few and I told her I'm about to go home. and she asked me what we are doing this weekend, and i asked her what do you want to do. she said She didnt know at the moment, but to call her. I hesitated, and said ok, then I lied and said I took my phone to verizon and they did something and deleted all my numbers out.

She belived it and gave me her number again. NOW WHAT DO I DO? This chick dont know I'm really diggin her. I should just play the good guy role and try to Smash and then just be cool. However I dont want to do that because I had one Female friend that was the Best "Friend" I ever had, we Had sex. and our Friendship wasnt as good, and I regret that. What should I Do?

 

Well i've noticed girls don't like indecisive guys. Well at least they like decisive guys better. When she asked what you want do you want to do and you asked her what she wanted to do, that's putting the ball back in her court and giving her the control (not good) Then she said to call her, because im 99.9% sure she's not callin you and she wants to see if you'll take the bait. So now, call her and TELL her what you guys are doing together instead of asking her. Don't act like her friend like you've been doing since you knew her or else you'll never be anything but a friend. That's all i got.

 

I say go for it. Make new friends if it doesn't work out. Friends are easy to make. Female friends aren meh in my book anyhow. Not as much loyalty as guy friends. I have many female friends that comes and goes but my guy friends from 2nd grade I still keep in touch with 3000 miles away.

 

I agree....when u call her definately tell what you got going on, dont ask her what she wants to do....Then if she really wants to chill she'll come to you

 

Just move on bro..you're young and there are many big booty chicks out there..

 

get ur play and move onnnn

 

Then I'll be locked the F*ck up and ill never get a girl until im 32!

 

i didn't mean to say get her drunk n fuck haha...i meant to laugh at the comment i quoted...if u got game u can break any bitch out of that "I just want to be friends" mood

 

Oh iight, I hear dat. but you know it wouldn't feel 100% right, cause I'd want her to know Im gonna jump in her stomach. and i want her to be as coherient as i am at that time. But ill be lookin like damn that pussy was good, does she remember? LOL syke na. but yeah maan im not gonna call her, I think. mabey i need to delete her number again.