What is up with Women and wanted to be friends after a relationship. I think is kind of hard to be friends with someone that you have had your dick in her 2 weeks ago. Anyways something like this has happen to me recently, and i have been debating on what to do. I kinda had feeling for this girl, but it didnt go to far to call it LOVE or anything like that. I want to be friends but I just think it will feel weird around this person, and when i think about i just get

What do guys think.

 

It's definately possible, but it takes work. It also involves taking time away from each other and letting your lives go on separately before you try out friendship. 2 weeks is not enough time to let things settle for people after breaking up. A month or so may help, but you need to not talk for a while and let things settle.

I have 1 ex (with whom I shared a relationship for about a year) that I am now really good friends with, but she and I haven't been together in over 4 years. We also had gone a number of years without talking before starting to talk again. We started talking again about a year ago. I now consider this person to be a very trusted and very dear friend. I have another ex that I am making strides to be friends with. In this case, I am taking things easy. She and I are both talking to other people and are talking on a somewhat limited basis. We both are in agreement that we'll see how this goes a little bit at a time.

Taking things easy and not forcing the matter is basically the best advice I can give. You have to just play it by ear, Kirk. Best of luck either way.

 

Some couples can remain friends, others can't. I have friends who have managed very well with both scenarios (guys & girls). If you've just broken up, it'll probably be the hardest time to be around her, so you might want to wait a bit for things to settle down before trying to hang out as friends. Or, if you just don't think you can do it or just aren't interested in being around her anymore, then don't bother.

 

BTW, being friends will also mean that you're able to understand and know that she will be talking and seeing other people at some point, and looking for other relationships. As a friend, you're going to have to deal with that without trying to sabotage it, or driving yourself mad with jealousy.

 

A guy also has to accept the fact that this new "friend" is going to sleep with other people and that they're going to have to deal with that. They are also going to have to deal with the fact that you may sleep with others too. As she mentioned above, there may be feelings of jealousy. If that's the case, it's going to make it difficult to actually be friends if you still have feelings for her (and get jealous of the other guys).

 

Waste of time and energy that is better spent finding someone new to have fun with.

 

i cant say i've ever been friends with my ex's. I've tried, but it does get a little weird. If you think you can handle hanging out and everyone knowing you as a friend or the "ex", then go for it. I think as guys we wanna be done with it and move on, where as women have gotten attached and not only thought of us as boyfriends, but flat out friends as well. Maybe it's easier for them to make the transition than it is for us guys to????

 

I kill my ex's.

 

i guess that's one way of not worrying

 

If this was the girl that was on here you brought to the meet.... Run away and dont look back.....

 

If you get jealous hearing about this girl being with other guys then just forget about being friends....ditto if she gets jealous hearing about you..it will never work, only cause drama.

 

You can be friends with girls you dated for a little, but long relationships, i couldnt be friends.

 

It all depends on if both people are willing and interested, and most importantly, that NEITHER person wants more than a friendship with the other. I think it also takes a lot of time after the break-up, and really depends on if you guys have things in common, can trust each other, and have fun together to begin with. If you never had a friendship as the foundation of your romantic relationship, you won't have one now.

I have friends who took time apart after the initial break-up, moved on, and have since become really good friends with more than one 'ex' --- friendships that have now gone on for many years since the break-up. They even go out together with their current S.O.

 

I think age and "relationship" experience weigh heavily too. The younger you are and the less experience you have in long-term relationships, the less chance a "friendship" will work out. Of course, if the relationship ended badly, there's pretty much no chance a friendship (even in the future) can exist without pent-up emotions, jealousies, angers, etc. surfacing.

I've been there ... when I was a college lad and broke up with my GF, she wanted to be "friends" because she felt that I was trustworthy, "understood" her, and was someone she could confide in. But being immature, I was more pissed and bitter than anything else. My whole reasoning at that time was, "if I was so damned great, why the F did we break up?" Way tooo much ego involved here. There were several variables leading to the break-up (in retrospect, it was inevitable) but all I could do was blame her or blame myself, neither of which is particularly healthy.

So I didn't pursue the friendship because I felt that I was too vulnerable ... and besides, we were young and dumb so I don't think she could've handled it either. I know friends who went thru similar situations and it's pretty much standard. Even tho one thinks they can "handle" a friendship, it's really difficult due to the underlying issues. You broke up with an ex- for a reason. Some people view a friendship as an opportunity to re-establish the relationship, which could be very awkward. Usually, one person's intentions and interests of a "friendship" does not align with the other person.

 

I burn my bridges.

 

I don't, too much of a hassle

 

The ex's always said they wanted to stay friends, but it never happens. I just cut all the strings.

 

I tried remaining friends with one of my ex's but shit got real ill when I told him I met someone. After that shit I just decided to cut ties after break-ups.

 

There is a reason which justifies a well-thought decision to end a relationship. I stand by that decision so there is no way I'll get back with any of them.

I just remain in good terms with almost all of them. We keep in touch but we don't hang out.

 

My ex's have had the decency to move out of the state or at least far enough away to make remaining friends impossible - thank god. I don't think its possible for me to remain friends with an old flame, but maybe other's can pull it off

Like someone else said, it seems like it would be more trouble then its worth.

 

I went to the weddings of 2 ex's last year, both of whom were friends before and after the relationship.

 

I dont know what to do but i thank all of you for your responses. I work in the same area as she does so i know ill see here. We work at a mall, but different companies.

For example, Sat. night i was out at a club with some friends and i notice i get a text message from her asking what i was doing. I was having a great time and then i get that. She sent another wanting to meet up, but i never responded. WTF does that shit mean

 

It isn't always easy. I haven't been friends with any ex's before. Michele and I are trying to be friends but it isn't easy. Especially since there are still some feelings there for both of us.

 

That sounds more like she wants to keep tabs on you, rather than wanting to stay friends. It's good that you didn't respond. As others have said, it's too early to even think about remaining friends. You may rediscover your friendship down the road, but it isn't worth the headache to deal with it now

 

 

I have an ex I'm still friends with. We didn't speak for 3 years, but now we keep in contact on a regular basis, maybe twice a month. She wants to keep tabs on me which is fine since i benefit from free food and other shit. I just let her know what I want to be known.

We were friends before we started going out, so maybe that has some relation. We've both had new relationships since, and speak about sometimes. The best part is that I'm single and mingle with her gf's while she is on and off wiht bf's. If I see that phone ring with her number early in the morning or late at night I know there's a problem and like any intelligent person would do I turn off the phone.

She won't fuck though because "it's too emotional." I always try to tell her it doesn't matter and she won't be considered a whore because we've already fucked and she will not be adding another person to her "list."

But I do feel like I'm in a win win situation.

 

If it makes your happiness to no longer be together and if she wants to be your friend, why not.

But don't feel obliged. In most divorced couples, there is an immature one who will place his/her ego (usually her) above everything and rationalize to justify anything. So it depends on what role you played.

 

I just want to keep FAWKING She was saying to be friends with benfits! I said i could rock that for awhile

 

You've got yourself a fuck buddy then. As long as both parties have defined the boundaries, just enjoy the ride.

 

the key word here is defined boundries, I find the No kissing rule as a excellent mode of keeping emotions out.

 

I don't do it. My ex's are dead to me and it works. I never have "my ex" stories or drama.

 

ummm we still kiss but shit

 

I have only been able to speak to one ex and it was years after we broke up. It wasnt like we hung out all the time. But when we would see each other we would just talk as friends. I only saw her like 3 or 4 times over the years and we dont speak anymore. I can never be firends with an ex but thats just me

 

Well i know this sounds like a 180 degree turn, but I decide that i cant be friends with this GIRL. At least not now anyways. My feelings poked up again the other night and I just cant deal with it. And of course she cant understand that. So I had to tell her to FUCK off. I felt that was the only way i could get her out of my head. It may sound mest up, but this way she will not want to talk to me and put herself back in my head.


So in other words TEH SNAPS needs to go out and get LAID :rofL:

 

unless its friends with benefits, why bother

 

if you cant have sex w/o emotions ur not a real man.

 

Well u sound like a real winner

 

ex's almost always want to be friends after so its like they saved themselves some dignity and did you a favor by still being your "friend" instead.

and almost always one person wants to get back together. shit just doesnt mix well in the end.

in any event, a gap of seperation and lack of communication can help this process... but even after such, it seems that someone will still want to get back together

 

oh in deed

 

Thats what i just had to do moon was seperate myself from this person