So I suck at "comforting" people and never know what to say, I only seem to know how to look on the bright side for myself (selfish, but I can't teach someone something if they're not willing to listen) Plus, I'm a bit socially retarded myself and quiet.

A friend of mine is being a bit "depressed" lately and she seems to think that her life has become boring and that school has taken over (which honestly should at about 80% of the time since we're in college) and she thinks she's become socially retarded.

She seems to want to be able to "go out and party and have a [life]" and also thinks that her life won't change at all even after school. I told her that her life will be a bit less hectic after she finishes school, and even while she's in school, she can have fun (but she has to be smart about it).

It's not like every college student has the ability to go out and party (well actually they do, but if they did, we'd all be failures)

The only thing I've told her is to stop being so negative, and the only response is that she's a realist, not being negative.


The only other thing I've told her is that I'm a bit shocked that she thinks her fate has been set for the rest of her life and thinks that her life will never change and will always be hectic. I understand that life will never become non hectic (unless you inherit a multi-billionaire company from your folks and become filthy rich) but I believe anyone has the ability to do what they enjoy as long as they fit within their circumstances and assess the opportunity cost of the situation.

What should I tell her?

Also, tell me if I'm being an asshole with my responses, and I wouldn't be shocked if they were, because I tend to be a bit strict and to the point with most of my friends. I'm a bit worried about her, because she always listens when I have problems, and her father did pass on last year, and I know it's been a bit hard for her since.


Cheers,

Chris

 

maybe you should tell her to make more time to go out and have fun. Or take her out somewhere fun so she doesnt feel like her life is shit

 

I think if you really care about her and wants her to go out and have fun, then you need to keep asking. Tell her you will keep at it until she either tells you to stop, or she goes out and have some fun. Sometimes all she needs is a push.

Then once you have her out, you can try to get her drunk so you can have sex with her. I'm guessing that's the real purpose of this thread. I will stick to this assumption until it is proven wrong.

 

I honestly didn't think it would take 2 posts.

And good advice.

 

Interesting assumption, however this is not my intent.

I'm currently "with" someone else.

Thanks for the advice though, I think I'll spend some time with her.

 

like RAVIN stated, spend some time with her... specially if shes been there when you need it. i think this is what shed like.

 

give her the dick

lol

sorry i'm not productive today..its been quite the week thus far

 

the best way to do it is you two go out and spend time with her...make out and give her lots of love!

 

IMHO, I would surprise her with a night of fun. Take her out places she hasn't really been to, or take her to her favorite place without her knowing. This would really help her situation.

 

Give her this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg



but seriously... You're doing the right thing by helping her out

 

OK. I'm sure you have a friend that can use some action. Point is if you try to get her mind off the "crap" in her life then you are being a good friend.

Good luck.

 

Thanks Ravi

 

I think a lot of us go through a rough patch in college where school seems overwhelming and life unbalanced. There's only so many hours in a day. Of course, compared to med school, college was f-in grade school Anyhoo, point being i don't think she's clinically depressed. The weather is getting worse out east and i take it she doesn't have a bf so she might just be lonely. Keep communicating with her, be a good friend and available if she needs support, and maybe do something mellow and platonic like coffee house, mini golf, movie, etc.

 

Also, don't worry about being straight up and honest with your friends. That's a good trait and not a liability. Who wants to be friends with someone who keeps dancing around the topic or is full of b.s?

 

So you're "with" someone else, but still able to spend time with her and take her out on "dates" but don't want to hit it? Please elaborate.