I'm still in shock but after a 9 year relationship w/ my g/f I pulled the plug. At 31 I think I'm going to take a break from dating and get my bearings in life. I have all the things someone my age would want I guess the biggest puzzle piece is the right companion. I'm still kinda getting used to the concept of being single again but my optimism tells me that in the long run it was the right choice. I'm sure I'll have my ups and downs but I guess I have to rough the weather that comes with such a long term breakup.

 

good luck man!

 

Look how many times did I have to tell you that I would live without you. Jk babe trying to make you laugh.

Keep the head up and hopefully soon things will balance themselves out. If your gut says it was right then it was. Trust me, been there.

 

Wow man...Thats a tough one....Best advice I can give you is to enjoy single life for a bit...

 

No juicy story for AZ?

 

Just remember the first breakup never takes.

 

What does that mean?

---

So what happened Ernie? Did you change? Did she change?

 

Sounds like it was a tough choice and you did a lot of thinking before making it. Also sounds like you have a good outlook on the future and your priorities. Just stay strong and avoid contact/communications with her for a while. Seeing/talking to her will make you second guess yourself. Good luck.

 

no they usually dont stick but it doesnt take long before you realize that it was the right decision in the first place. people dont change

 

They do... Just not necessarily in the direction you would like - It's what I'm dealing with as we speak

 

Sorry to hear, but it sounds as if you didn't make this choice hastily. You're right that it will take some time. I've been single for a couple years now after breaking up with my girlfriend of close to eight years, and as you've said there has been both ups and downs. And as hard as the decision was, and if it was the correct thing to do, you will have no regrets as time passes. Do the things you want to do and experience, and eventually the right companion will come into your life, probably when you least expect it.

Terry

 

welcome to break up season!

 

damn man i hope you do ok.. sounds like you made the right choice for yourself, even though it must have been very hard to make

 

Sorry to hear it. I agree with the others - it really sounds like you've got it together. Good luck to you.

 

What is with all the breaking up? I was just on the receiving end of one after what I thought was a great first year with my boyfriend. I don't know if I can trust any of the reasoning he gave for doing it (wanting to be single for one) considering he's changed so much in a matter of weeks and has already gotten into a relationship with some new guy. *sigh*

 

Had you outted yourself on here before? I remember a few people did in an old thread, just didn't really take much note.

Regardless, it does seem like there have been quite a few posted recently. Hope it all works out.

 

Yeah, not that long after I joined. Thanks for the kind words; I don't know how things are going to work out, I would never be able to trust him even if he came back. I have good friends who've helped me deal and told me there's bound to be someone better out there. I hope they're right, haha.

 

Well, tommorow I'll give some of the details so you guys get some understanding of what brought 9 years to a grinding halt. Tonight... I'm going to listen to some Beck and chill.

 

Just survive for now - don't go out and do something (or someone) stupid just yet. Let it sink in. Sounds like you put some thought into it so I'm sure there was a good reason. Good luck.

 

Sorry to hear that Ernie.

 

Damn dude. Sucks. But it seems like you are going to be able to deal with it. Hope it all works out for ya.

 

Must be tough friend. I hope you aren't taking this break up too hard.... The best advice I can give you is take a least 3 months off and be single for awhile. Date around and enjoy the single life before you hop onto another relationship.

 

I feel for you!! I am sort of in the same boat. I am out of a 4 year relationship and we are the same age. The first couple of months will suck so bad. Sleeping will be tough, and you will be in a dark tunnel, bought you will be ok!!

You just have to got through all the extremes; sadness, sorrow, disbelief, anger...

The best advice I can give is to hit the gym hard. Not only will the endorphins fix you up good, but just looking and feeling good will keep you positive and looking up and forward. Also, I found that really expanding my mind has helped. I have been on an education crusade. Just devouring books, taking classes, and really doing all sorts of things that I might never get the opportunity to do again. The window is now, and it must be seized. Be selfish for a while.

One thing you wont here me say is some crap about hows there is better out there, because that may not be true. Maybe some time apart will make you realize that a little distance will give you a whole new perspective.

I wish you all the luck in the world!!!

 

What he said. Some great advice in there.

 

Sorry to hear this. My longest relationship was 3 years and it took a long time for me to truly move on... I can only imagine how difficult it is if it was a nine-year relationship.

 

Eclipse..

I came out of a 16 year marriage (was not my choice) but now when I look back, it's like "wow, what a journey it has been since". Good attitude in regards to realizing that you will have ups and downs.

Just wait till you hit it off with someone again. That feeling will make it all worthwhile.

Not sure what your sex life was like, but if it was in the dumps, be prepared to have your socks blown off. And I will not say any more on that topic..

 

Your relationship started when I am 2 years into mine...... I've met my lady 10 years ago (96~97). It's terribly sad when a long relationship like yours ended... you are in bucks county, not far from Glen Mills.... if you need someone to drink... give me a hollar.

Strip club is only a limo away

 

Best advice is to go out with friends and enjoy life, dont sit around the house by yourself and be lonely. Its gonna be hard to jump into a relationship after being in one of 9years im sure.

I heard that it takes around half the time you were in the relationship with someone to get over them completly.

9years/2=4.5years....yikes

 

good luck, and things will get better

 

First off, I really have to say that once again the community on this board, one that I have been a part of for over 5+ years amazes me in terms of the genuine support I have gotten here.

 

I can only imagine how difficult that must have been to do. By the sound of things you made the right decision, its just too bad it took this long to figure out.

Mom and dad are always right I guess.

 

so....spill the beans friend.............

 

I started my new dating guide thread

 

A little late...but good luck man.

Can't imagine what it's like....

 

Ernie, come out 2 long island one weekend and i'll make sure u pass out from having too much fun... ur a strong dude bro, dont harbor on the past and u'll get through this fine

let me know man

 

wow! 9 years... crazy! are you guys completely done or you guys might get back to each other? It really sucks to hear that you have to toss away 9 years of relationship. cheer up...I'm sure something will work out.
good luck,

 

Thx Bro I hope all is well on your end. I've burned the bridges and they are still cindering away. I'm dealing with a few 'post relationship' issues right now and but I'm taking the high road on all of them it's not worth my time or energy to deal with it any other way.

 

I had a shitty break up with my ex of over 4 years.....I'm glad its over, but I find myself thinking about her from time to time. It will get better...do what I did...bang all the girls you could have but didn't (be safe and smart).....NOW YOU CAN!!!

 

I think it's natural to every now and then think of your ex. The difference for me is the state of mind I put them in. The mind tends to remember the good and forgets the bad so memories (at least to me) tend to be the good moments. How I deal with that is simply remembering back to the core reasons why you are NOT with that person. My last ex would get jealous if I happened to mention a story about a previous relationship I used to think that was soo petty.

 

Thats EVERY female!