Well, here's mine. Not as crazy as the other ones here but here goes:

I had had my license for about 6 months and was driving two friends home after having watched the soccer world cup last summer. This was during an annual festival the town has, so the highway coppers found out they should have a sobriety control. So as I was driving through the town an officer jumped into the road and signalled me to get in. I hadn't been drinking for a few weeks so I was confident that this would be fine and found my license and registration. All went fine with the license and reg, but all of a sudden he shoved her huge maglite up in my face, looked at me for 10 seconds before screaming at me to get out of the car. At this point I was all "wtf", but complied.

As soon as I got out of the car she told me to come to the rear, and immieately said "OK, so I see you've taken something. So what is it, weed, coke?" I responded "wat" as I was completely flabbergasted by her question as I've never touched any drugs at all (true story), and she asked me again. At this point she informed me that my pupils were huge as dinner plates and that I had definitely taken something. Now, this is where I said that I hadn't taken anything, and that my pupils are naturally huge (which they are, also true. They're massive all the time, especially in the dark, making me look like a permanent stoner). We discussed this for a minute until she called the other three officers over, and I felt like a killer or something.

All of them stuck their maglites in my face and agreed to me being high as f*ck on something, and proceeded to search me and question me a lot. They then called for backup (lol, 4 officers weren't enough for a poor kid weighing 60kg). Backup arrived, an out steps an ugly and one shit hot female one. Funnily enough me and her started talking and she was really nice, telling me that I didn't seem high and that she would try to get an on the spot urine test.

No sir, not possible. I was chucked in the rear of the popo car (was a nice comfy car, new VW Passat) and off we went to the station. I asked them if they could ask one of my friends to drive my car after them, and we waited for him to do a sobriety test before we left. After 30 minutes in the car I got bored and started talkng to them about what kind of lights you can attach legally. They were very hesitant to answer, and I shut the hell up after that. We arrived at the station, and hey presto, suddenly 10 more officers escorted me (must have been a quiet night lol) over to a toilet, handed me a cup and all waited for me to take a piss. A little embarrassing to have them all watch, but oh well, I wanted to get out of there. Had to sit there for 30 minutes before the test was clear (wat) doing all kinds of physical tests. I passed all with a good margin exept the pulse test, which the officer guarding me understood, so he asked me to sit down and we proceeded to talk about my interests for 10 minutes for me to call down before we did the test again, this time I passed. He then went and told the others that I didn't seem intoxicated at all, and that he found it weird that they had taken me in at all.

Then the officers came back and told me that I had tested positive for weed, cocaine, heroin and amphetamine. At this point I said "what the actual ****" and they went out again before returning to tell me that the test showe that I had OD'd on everything (LOL!) and that the test had expired 2 months ago. So they told me we had to go to the main holding since they hadn't got any fresh ones. Off we went and as we were walking towards the car I proceeded towards the passenger side where I'd been sat the ride to the station, and the officer went all batshit crazy until I explained why, as he wanted me behind the driver which I found illogical.

Anyway, my friend had been sitting outside in the car waiting, and he really had to pee but didn't dare to because he was afraid that he would get a ticket for having a leak outside the station lol. So we drove off, another 30 minutes in the car. Came down into the garage I'd previously only seen on TV (and laughing at the dumbasses that had been taken down there for being stupid enough to commit a crime) and was escorted into the arresting room. It was quite weird sitting at a concrete bench you'd only seen on telly, feeling helpless as you had done nothing wrong but having 5 officers in the room convinced you were guilty. Had to do another urine test, and they did the testing in the same room this time. I was getting worried when I heard "it's moving up to 100, should we wait longer or just tell him now?" thinking I was buttf*cked and lost my license until they had drawn a blood test and tested that 3 weeks later.

To my surprise they turned at me and told me "this one was clean" and I yelled out "thank god!" in relief after 3 hours in custody. They seemed surprised and proceeded to ask me a lot of questions about me being so happy (lol what?) before one of them (an old guy) grunted loudly and nearly ran out of the room in anger of me having thrown away 3 hours of his precious time. The other officer didn't even say sorry, just asked me to follow her upstairs so she could do the paperwork. Got a nice view of the ops-room while I waited, and I soon had my license back and was released with her saying that I probably had a high pressure in my eyes making my pupils huge (well finally she admitted what I'd been saying all along!). Went to my car, had my friend drive the hour ride back home. Met my dad outside and told him, he raged.

Now I'm really hesitant about driving at night as I'm just waiting for this circus to happen all over again...