Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit...

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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 02:39 PM
  #1  
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Talking Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit...



http://www.034motorsport.com/chassis...t-p-21602.html

Its not easy being a suburban pimp.

Yea, you got your sick kicks from Fatlace, your new hoodie from Illest, your pants are just the right proportion of sag and tight, male and female. Your hat perched on your head with just the perfect amount of off-center kilter. Your shirt looks like you were standing against a wall that was graffitied in the 80's.

You've got the ultimate girl friend who always looks like she's about to cry, her unfinished tattoos, applied when she was close to blacking out drunk, are an inspiration to the vision she lives her life with. They will look even better in 30 years.

You've been in college for 6 years and are kicking ass, making great progress - you should have enough units to get your general courses out of the way in 3-4 years.

All that is left is your car...

its a former World Challenge GT Race car passed down to you from your Dad, though it can lap Laguna Seca in under a minute thirty and pulls 1.8 g's sustained in cornering, its just not hella flush and its cramping your style.

The racing springs and Ohlins TTX shocks keep the contact patches perfectly on the ground at all times, but they're just too high. The fender gap is 1 finger tall, and the wheels sit too far inset, the tires don't even rub on the fenders! Its a travesty and you're tired of being the butt of jokes at the local GTG at the Asian bubble tea store. The perfectly installed tires look sorely too narrow and need to be stretched to the point of destroying the contact patch.

Bottom line, the car is way to fast and not hella flush enough.

A local shop in town quoted what you need to do, but its super expensive and you already spent all your money cutting up a bunch of vinyl dope stickers. They want to sell you air bags, an expensive pump and control system - you need to notch your frame rails so the axles will clear. The list goes on and on.

Well, 034Motorsport has the solution for you!

As fast and easy to install as an Ed Hardy shirt, the 034Motorsport Hella Flush Lowering Kit gives your car the Hella Flush look that will make you the envy of all your friends.

Why $795 you ask? Well, this is really good vinyl, plus the engineering and development time that went into this product is second to none. Plus to properly lower your car this low would cost at least $10,000 so this is really a bargain!

Buy and install your kit today, rock your alternative life style with confidence, be different than everyone else with millions of other people, stand for a way of life that says "My life has meaning because I carry style swagger"!

Available in any color you like, Neon Baby Blue, Chartreuse and Emo Green too!

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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 02:40 PM
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Well, I'm buying a set.














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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 02:49 PM
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 02:53 PM
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Seems appropriate on that car given the hood, exhaust, wheels that stick out too far, and tires that don't fit the wheels.
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 02:54 PM
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S14 n Tsx's Avatar
mmmmmm....
 
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stupid
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:03 PM
  #6  
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:04 PM
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"Hella Flush: because I want my wheels to look like goatse"
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:04 PM
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Perfectly reflects my opinion on that subset. Well found!
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:12 PM
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the fuk!
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:12 PM
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Must be from the Rockies region.
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:12 PM
  #11  
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I drive a Subata.
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nice
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:23 PM
  #12  
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Crap like this always reminds me of this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-BGI...yer_detailpage
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:34 PM
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Great solution to fix the Honda/Acura OEM off-road package.
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:38 PM
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haha awesome
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 03:51 PM
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 04:26 PM
  #16  
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lmao!!!
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 04:30 PM
  #17  
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Fucking epic, dawg!
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 05:06 PM
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 07:25 PM
  #19  
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Even funnier is that you can actually buy this on their site for $795. I just did a mock checkout.
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 08:57 PM
  #20  
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^ You probably bought it, don't lie.

Hella flush
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Old Jun 29, 2011 | 09:20 PM
  #21  
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FellaHush
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 01:43 AM
  #22  
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seizure force field!
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Fat the wuck...
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 10:38 AM
  #23  
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I just love the name of the product too.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 11:07 AM
  #24  
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somebody, i repeat SOMEBODY, WILL buy this.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 02:30 PM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by fsttyms1
Must be from the Rockies region.


It looks a lot like blue painters tape.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 02:33 PM
  #26  
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I love this too much.

If I see another "illest" sticker or ski/roof rack on a GTI/civic in TEXAS....I will kill.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 02:39 PM
  #27  
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^^ Must be a Texas thing
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 03:14 PM
  #28  
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I see at least 10 a day....that or a giant Dodge Ram with a "SoCal" sticker across the back window.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 03:15 PM
  #29  
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lol!
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 06:05 PM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by o2cls
I see at least 10 a day....that or a giant Dodge Ram with a "SoCal" sticker across the back window.
I've seen more California license plates than SoCal stickers on trucks.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 09:53 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by Moog-Type-S
^^ Must be a Texas thing

that illest/rack shit runs like the plague on all coast...

unfortunately the trends usually gets here a year or two later and i have to re-live all the dumb shit i've been seeing online for a while.
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Old Jun 30, 2011 | 11:06 PM
  #32  
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I must be getting old....
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Old Jul 1, 2011 | 08:13 AM
  #33  
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Cool Hwip, yo.
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Old Jul 1, 2011 | 08:17 AM
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Old Jul 1, 2011 | 08:34 AM
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Old Jul 1, 2011 | 10:36 PM
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Old Jul 1, 2011 | 11:46 PM
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