Funniest thing a cop ever told ya?
#1
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Funniest thing a cop ever told ya?
As some of you may know, this idea by suggested by someone on m5board.com and the results were terriffic I loved them.Would love to hear from guys on AZ the funniest or bizarre remark a cop/patroller ever told ya?
P.S While trying to stay respectful for our police officers that work to keep our streets safe!
I was speeding on the 417 three weeks ago doing 146km/hr in 100 zone. Next thing there is a big black unmarked Crown Vic asking me to pull over.
Cop: Where ya headin' so fast.
Me: I have to go visit my mother-in-law, she's waiting for me.
Cop: And you're speeding like this to go see her?
Me: Yes I need to get it over with
Cop:Lord be with you and Good luck.Try to keep it safe with a warning.
I say thank you and drive off.
P.S While trying to stay respectful for our police officers that work to keep our streets safe!
I was speeding on the 417 three weeks ago doing 146km/hr in 100 zone. Next thing there is a big black unmarked Crown Vic asking me to pull over.
Cop: Where ya headin' so fast.
Me: I have to go visit my mother-in-law, she's waiting for me.
Cop: And you're speeding like this to go see her?
Me: Yes I need to get it over with
Cop:Lord be with you and Good luck.Try to keep it safe with a warning.
I say thank you and drive off.
#2
Drifting
Join Date: May 2004
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Nothing cops ever said to me was funny. As matter of fact, the mere presence of them on the road pisses me off.
EDIT: oops.. didn't see this..
EDIT: oops.. didn't see this..
P.S While trying to stay respectful for our police officers that work to keep our streets safe!
#3
me and 2 friends were in the car... i was driving down route 1 and got pulled over for speeding. we were in a rush cause a friend of a friend that was in the car was having some problems. we were goin to go see her. so we explained that and he said ok ok, pick a number between 1 and 10. the girl ridin shotgun says 4... he replies, get the hell outta here. i rolled out. i honestly think any number we would have said, he woulda had the same answer. but oh well
#4
Safety Car
Me and a couple friends got pulled over going to an out of state strip club going 56 in a 45. Cop asked us where we were going, and when we told him, he got all excited, started giving us exact turn by turn directions, and let us go. Didn't even tell us to slow down.
#5
Glacier Frost Mica CL-S
iTrader: (1)
i was driving a RWD car and went around a corner to fast so went sideways and after turning realize there was a cop who had pulled someone over and was giving them a ticket. i just went ahead and pulled over since he would have chased me down anyways so after about 2 min he comes over and says WOWWW that was COOL... was it worth gettin pulled over and gave me a ticket for noise
#6
Burning Brakes
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Not so much what the cop said to me but it is what he did. Asked if I had any drugs, I responded yes sir I do and proceeded to hand him my 40 dollar bag of weed. He took one look at it, took a little and said thank you have a nice day. Thought that was pretty awesome.
#7
Uses turn signals in my
This was my two friends and I on my friends birthday (driver). We were in a stock chevy tahoe with the window down (stock tints) and we were all well dressed, cops pulls us over saying the tint is too dark and that he couldnt see us from 100 feet away. Keep in mind the windows were all down and the three of us were all sitting next to a window!!!
so all of sudden after he asks for my friends license he looks into the truck and goes word for word "YOU GUYS GOT ANY OF THAT SHIT? ANY OF THAT ILLEGAL SHIT?"
My best friend and I started and looked at each other like wtf. We couldn't believe he said that. Our other friend was freaking out because he had never talked to a cop before in his life. None of us in the car do drugs or smoke so we thought that shit was funny as hell. He just wanted to search us...fast foward a week later and in the crime section there was a bunch of people stopped for random stuff in which drugs were found.
so all of sudden after he asks for my friends license he looks into the truck and goes word for word "YOU GUYS GOT ANY OF THAT SHIT? ANY OF THAT ILLEGAL SHIT?"
My best friend and I started and looked at each other like wtf. We couldn't believe he said that. Our other friend was freaking out because he had never talked to a cop before in his life. None of us in the car do drugs or smoke so we thought that shit was funny as hell. He just wanted to search us...fast foward a week later and in the crime section there was a bunch of people stopped for random stuff in which drugs were found.
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#8
Chapter Leader
(Northeast Florida)
(Northeast Florida)
iTrader: (1)
Originally Posted by Shadzilla
Me and a couple friends got pulled over going to an out of state strip club going 56 in a 45. Cop asked us where we were going, and when we told him, he got all excited, started giving us exact turn by turn directions, and let us go. Didn't even tell us to slow down.
Wait, I wonder if I should be collecting avatar royalties...
#9
Senior Moderator
While at Atco Raceway at a Scion booth, a Sheriff's deputy stood next to me and exclaimed: "WOW!! This car looks HOT!!" He was referring to this lime green Scion xB.....probably the ugliest car in current creation painted with one of the ugliest colors ever. Nice guy, poor taste.
#10
Not Asian
I got pulled when I was doing about a 70 in a 45, damn outer roads.
Cop: Can I have your license?
Me: Sure, you want my insurance too?
Cop: Nah, with a nice car like this I know you have insurance.
Me: Alright
Cop: I know you were going pretty darn fast but I'll just give you a 55 in a 45.
Cop: Can I have your license?
Me: Sure, you want my insurance too?
Cop: Nah, with a nice car like this I know you have insurance.
Me: Alright
Cop: I know you were going pretty darn fast but I'll just give you a 55 in a 45.
#11
101 years of heartache...
Join Date: Jan 2004
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My friend is a Jeep nut. He has the Dukes of Hazard horn, a cop siren, and a loud PA system on his car. We were playing around with the PA system for a little and he and another friend took off. Suddenly I see this cop with his lights on pulling me over and I know exactly what to expect. After some laughs inside my car, I get a:
"Sir, I got reports of a suspicious man screaming obscenities with a Megaphone in his car. Do you have a Megaphone or PA installed on this thing (a new VW GTI)?"
After that I went to a friend's house, deposited my work money later, and went home. When I opened the door I still had some laughs coming out of me.
"Sir, I got reports of a suspicious man screaming obscenities with a Megaphone in his car. Do you have a Megaphone or PA installed on this thing (a new VW GTI)?"
After that I went to a friend's house, deposited my work money later, and went home. When I opened the door I still had some laughs coming out of me.
#12
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by gocubsgo55
My friend is a Jeep nut. He has the Dukes of Hazard horn, a cop siren, and a loud PA system on his car. We were playing around with the PA system for a little and he and another friend took off. Suddenly I see this cop with his lights on pulling me over and I know exactly what to expect. After some laughs inside my car, I get a:
"Sir, I got reports of a suspicious man screaming obscenities with a Megaphone in his car. Do you have a Megaphone or PA installed on this thing (a new VW GTI)?"
After that I went to a friend's house, deposited my work money later, and went home. When I opened the door I still had some laughs coming out of me.
"Sir, I got reports of a suspicious man screaming obscenities with a Megaphone in his car. Do you have a Megaphone or PA installed on this thing (a new VW GTI)?"
After that I went to a friend's house, deposited my work money later, and went home. When I opened the door I still had some laughs coming out of me.
#14
I shoot people
I've never had anything funny experience-verbally with a cop... but one time I was at a stop light and when it turned green... I gun'd it... and began to pull away from the rest of the cars behind me... I was going pretty fast... while my radar detector went off, I slammed on the brakes... and immediately brought it down to speed limit... as I was "drifting" pass the motorcycle cop... he had this HUGE grin on his face... and pointed his finger at me implying "You LUCKY FUCK" I just made this jesture---> and it was all good... Boy, my heart must had been going a mile a minute
#16
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got pulled over by an unmarked cop
comes to the window cop: sir do you have your license
me:yes
cop: i take it you have insurance to
me:yes
Cop: do you have any drugs,guns,rocket launchers,machine guns....?????
me: smirking and giggling No
cop:step out of the vehicle and put your hands on your head
me:?$#%R$#%wtf?????
2 sec later cop said April fools and told me not to speed in the area anymore he's watching everyone
comes to the window cop: sir do you have your license
me:yes
cop: i take it you have insurance to
me:yes
Cop: do you have any drugs,guns,rocket launchers,machine guns....?????
me: smirking and giggling No
cop:step out of the vehicle and put your hands on your head
me:?$#%R$#%wtf?????
2 sec later cop said April fools and told me not to speed in the area anymore he's watching everyone
#17
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
I wonder sometimes if Cops know how some people feel or comment each time they see them on the road. They probably know the power they have to scare people(even innocent ones) I guess.
#18
In the Mid-South meow
iTrader: (2)
I'm so glad I found this thread!
So way back in the day I was driving home from the club at 3 in the morning with 5 other people in my yellow 1972 Buick Skylark and got pulled over on a side road on the way to drop 2 of the 5 off at their house.
- What year is this thing?
Me - A '72
- No shit... you got the Rocket 350 in this don't cha?!
Me - No, that's an Oldsmobile, this is just a 350.
- Hmm... 2 barrel or 4?
Me - Just a 2
- Gotta get a 4. Okay, drive safe. Good night.
Me -
So way back in the day I was driving home from the club at 3 in the morning with 5 other people in my yellow 1972 Buick Skylark and got pulled over on a side road on the way to drop 2 of the 5 off at their house.
- What year is this thing?
Me - A '72
- No shit... you got the Rocket 350 in this don't cha?!
Me - No, that's an Oldsmobile, this is just a 350.
- Hmm... 2 barrel or 4?
Me - Just a 2
- Gotta get a 4. Okay, drive safe. Good night.
Me -
#19
Originally Posted by INSPIRE 32V
i was driving a RWD car and went around a corner to fast so went sideways and after turning realize there was a cop who had pulled someone over and was giving them a ticket. i just went ahead and pulled over since he would have chased me down anyways so after about 2 min he comes over and says WOWWW that was COOL... was it worth gettin pulled over and gave me a ticket for noise
#20
Originally Posted by merkin110
Not so much what the cop said to me but it is what he did. Asked if I had any drugs, I responded yes sir I do and proceeded to hand him my 40 dollar bag of weed. He took one look at it, took a little and said thank you have a nice day. Thought that was pretty awesome.
#21
Originally Posted by is300eater
I've never had anything funny experience-verbally with a cop... but one time I was at a stop light and when it turned green... I gun'd it... and began to pull away from the rest of the cars behind me... I was going pretty fast... while my radar detector went off, I slammed on the brakes... and immediately brought it down to speed limit... as I was "drifting" pass the motorcycle cop... he had this HUGE grin on his face... and pointed his finger at me implying "You LUCKY FUCK" I just made this jesture---> and it was all good... Boy, my heart must had been going a mile a minute
By my house there's this stretch of road probably 3/10 of a mile, slight incline, where one end blinds the other. I usually launch my car in that street, and this time was no different, but at the end of the street I saw two cops with their cars parked on the right curb outside talking to one of the residents. I braked smoothly as I possible to avoid the guilt-trap and saw them pointing their fingers with a grin "implying..you lucky F".
#22
Confused Maxima Owner
Originally Posted by iamhomin
Similar experience.
By my house there's this stretch of road probably 3/10 of a mile, slight incline, where one end blinds the other. I usually launch my car in that street, and this time was no different, but at the end of the street I saw two cops with their cars parked on the right curb outside talking to one of the residents. I braked smoothly as I possible to avoid the guilt-trap and saw them pointing their fingers with a grin "implying..you lucky F".
By my house there's this stretch of road probably 3/10 of a mile, slight incline, where one end blinds the other. I usually launch my car in that street, and this time was no different, but at the end of the street I saw two cops with their cars parked on the right curb outside talking to one of the residents. I braked smoothly as I possible to avoid the guilt-trap and saw them pointing their fingers with a grin "implying..you lucky F".
I did the same i was doing 80 or so on the highway and i just cruised off on the exit ramp at about 70 or so and then I saw this cop cruising on the feeder, so i slammed the brakes and got to the legal 50 and i pass the cop and wipe the sweat offa my head.... *about a minute passes*..... *sirens blaring behind him w/ the cop tailgating him*....
Cop: License and Registration please
Me: here ya go (DAMMITWTF)
Cop: Here you are sir
Me: Uhhhhh..... why did you pull me over?
Cop: I'm a newbie, it's the end of my first shift and I haven't pulled any one over so as I was heading back to the station I saw you slam on the brakes and I tried to radar you but I was fumbling around with it too much and caught you at 48, so I decided to sweat you.
Me: -_-;;
Cop: Keep it legal kid.
Me: No prob.
Hehehehe I did dodge the bullet twice though because I'm a teenager and I have a curfew and -18 you're not allowed to be on teh streets midnight-5am (it was 1amish) and I coulda got in biiig trouble for that.
#24
Instructor
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Ok, here's one for ya!
A guy was going 80 in 55 when a State Trooper gets behind him with his lights flashing. This goes on for about a mile before he finally pulls over. The Trooper walks up to the car and looks at the guy and says If you can give me an excuse for not pulling over and speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. The man looks at the Trooper and says the reason I was speeding is because 5 years ago my wife left me for a State Trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back!!! The Trooper just looked at the man and said have a nice day sir.
A guy was going 80 in 55 when a State Trooper gets behind him with his lights flashing. This goes on for about a mile before he finally pulls over. The Trooper walks up to the car and looks at the guy and says If you can give me an excuse for not pulling over and speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. The man looks at the Trooper and says the reason I was speeding is because 5 years ago my wife left me for a State Trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back!!! The Trooper just looked at the man and said have a nice day sir.
#26
Racer
I was driving home from work. A MD State Trooper pulls me over. I knew I was speeding but I was only going about 60 in a 55 since there was a lot of traffic.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No Sir
Cop: Had anything to drink this afternoon?
Me: Umm... No...
Cop: Why not it's after 5pm?
Me: Excuse Me?
Cop: You license plate... It's after 5pm, tell your friends to by you a cold one. Drive safe and have a good evening.
Me: Laughing... Hysterical.
On my CL-S my personalized license plate is: 5PMBYOB
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No Sir
Cop: Had anything to drink this afternoon?
Me: Umm... No...
Cop: Why not it's after 5pm?
Me: Excuse Me?
Cop: You license plate... It's after 5pm, tell your friends to by you a cold one. Drive safe and have a good evening.
Me: Laughing... Hysterical.
On my CL-S my personalized license plate is: 5PMBYOB
#28
Safety Car
Originally Posted by mr_luv
Pull my head out my ass shipmate and get this rig pier side now and not to let him see me again tonight!!! Or hes putting me on the carpet.
#29
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Originally Posted by TSXEd05
Ok, here's one for ya!
A guy was going 80 in 55 when a State Trooper gets behind him with his lights flashing. This goes on for about a mile before he finally pulls over. The Trooper walks up to the car and looks at the guy and says If you can give me an excuse for not pulling over and speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. The man looks at the Trooper and says the reason I was speeding is because 5 years ago my wife left me for a State Trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back!!! The Trooper just looked at the man and said have a nice day sir.
A guy was going 80 in 55 when a State Trooper gets behind him with his lights flashing. This goes on for about a mile before he finally pulls over. The Trooper walks up to the car and looks at the guy and says If you can give me an excuse for not pulling over and speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. The man looks at the Trooper and says the reason I was speeding is because 5 years ago my wife left me for a State Trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back!!! The Trooper just looked at the man and said have a nice day sir.
#30
Baiscly he was ex navy I was current navy and he told me take my ass home or hes taking me in. Oh and he slapped the back of my hands ( slap on the wrist for speeding)
Originally Posted by Shadzilla
#31
Ur Mutha She Stinks!!
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Everyone maybe not everyone has seen a hot girl in a car and been like i want to talk to her. Well after a night at the club at like 3 A.M. me and 3 friends are driving home and notice a car filled with gorgeous girls. So we pull up next to them and start talking and they say wanna play so were flying down the highway. We get off an exit say bye to the girls and both cars get back on the highway. As soon as we get on the highway an unmarked Explorer pulls me over. Just me. This is how the convo went.
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: About 80 (posted speed was 65)
Officer: Well i have been following you for a bout a 2 miles and you were going excess speeds of 100
Me: Shit, are you kidding me
Officer: Who were you following?
Me: To be honest with you I just met them.
Officer: Was it a car full of girls?
Me: Yes, sir
Officer: Did you at least get their number?
Me: (While laughing with me friends) Yes, but thats not gonna pay for my ticket
Officer: Who said i was going to give you a ticket, I used to do that in my day. Be safe, slow down, make sure to call them and tell them it was their fault.
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: About 80 (posted speed was 65)
Officer: Well i have been following you for a bout a 2 miles and you were going excess speeds of 100
Me: Shit, are you kidding me
Officer: Who were you following?
Me: To be honest with you I just met them.
Officer: Was it a car full of girls?
Me: Yes, sir
Officer: Did you at least get their number?
Me: (While laughing with me friends) Yes, but thats not gonna pay for my ticket
Officer: Who said i was going to give you a ticket, I used to do that in my day. Be safe, slow down, make sure to call them and tell them it was their fault.
#32
Safety Car
Originally Posted by mr_luv
Baiscly he was ex navy I was current navy and he told me take my ass home or hes taking me in. Oh and he slapped the back of my hands ( slap on the wrist for speeding)
Got it! Thanks for the translation
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