My commute is, by all measures, a very pleasant 50-minute trip through some picturesque farmlands and a very relaxed commute that tops out around 50mph. Enter last Friday. Be me. Long-ass week, looking forward to a suitcase of Founders All-Day IPA in the fridge. This one stretch takes me through an area with 3 hills and ample double-line 'punch-it' temptations, and my patience got the best of me.

Been trailing two geriatric domestic beaters lumping along at 43mph in a 50mph zone with double-lines giving me the finger all the while...but I know my time is coming...so I drop back a few car lengths...here come the hills, a few stretches, and those sweet, sweet passing lines.

While coming down the second hill, I drop to 4th and redline to a double-pass. JUST as I finish the pass, a shiny, white twp police SUV is JUST coming over the next hill, and I'm trapping 67mph in a 50. No sooner did I pass the SUV then the red and blues were all aglow, and up the hill I went.

Knowing my fate was sealed, I continued cruising at 48mph until the officer popped over the hill again, and immediately pulled over, in spite of being a good 1/2 mile ahead.

I roll down the window, and as the officer approaches, I state,

ME: "Good evening, sir", staring at the midesection of the officer in my side-view mirror.

OFFICER: "It's ma'am. License and registration." (F*CK ME!) "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

ME: "Brazen impatience resulting in unnecessary speeding and a selfish disregard for the safety of others. It's been a long week. I'm sorry."

The officer takes my documents and returns in a record 4 minutes or so with the following:

OFFICER: "Today is your lucky unlucky day. My pen is out of ink. I'll be mailing you a seatbelt ticket"

ME: *pause* "Really? Thank you for your generosity. I'm lucky enough to have a pen, do you want it?"

OFFICER: (*chuckles*) "No thank-you. Slow down and have a nice day."

Pics or it didn't happen, with a kind note to boot

TL;DR - don't be a dick to cops.

 

Was she hot? No pics? You phail!!!

Best you could have hoped for, always pays to be courteous and professional...

 

surprised that after she said "its ma'am" u didn't respond with "i love a woman in uniform" or something along those lines LOL

 

Glad you were nice and avoided a more serious violation.

A follow-up thought: be pleasant and professional while responding, but do not volunteer that one knows one is violating the law.
One might then receive a warning instead of any type of citation.

 

Been pulled over like that is still pretty embarrassing lol. You know when you are doing something wrong, speeding and all that, blowing past people then you get pulled over and all the people you passed in the past like 10-15 minutes drive by looking at you like "serves you right fhucker"

Lmao i just keep my head down. At least you got off easy.

 

If he'd have pretended he didn't know what he did wrong, he would have gotten much worse. I'm gonna say based on handwriting she was decently attractive, probably ten years ago.

Dan, fun read as always...I always remember they caught me doing something I shouldn't while they were JUST doing their job. I've fared pretty well.

 

I was just going to comment on her superb handwriting abilities too!!!

 

And then you two had sex. Nice story, OP!

 

Being a jerk to an officer never pays. I know being pulled over sucks but they are just doing their job so just kill them with honesty and kindness.

I love officers that are like that (very understanding)

 

I hope the number on the back is her personal cell

 

Let's be honest it was the car that made the difference. She dug your TL. After all we all know TL;DR is code for "Acura TL, she Digs my Ride"

 

Ha ha ha.

 

Great story!

 

So did you hit the V?

 

Yeah he hit the V (TEC)






that's what got him into the predicament in the first place

 

"Sorry Officer, VTAK just kicked in yo"

 

redlined in 4th gear? In a 5at, that would be 120+mph? Not sure about 6mt, but that would still be 100+ I think

 

Plot Twist: DM's got a red line marked with Sharpie marker right at 4,100 as a "shift here" indicator.

Therefore, redlined in 4th gear - 67 in a 50.
.
.
.
Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong.

EDIT: were you really not wearing a seatbelt or was that just the least punitive thing she could write up. Because either or , depending.

 

I stick out like a sore thumb in this neck of the woods. I've consistently told myself that being pulled over occurs not 'if' but 'when'

0 complaints in the appearance department. So much so when my eyes fell upon her face it was far more "REALLY." than "Really?"

No, it's all good and well, I'll play along with the resident "needs to prove a point, gahhhhh" members.

If I dump the clutch prior to full engagement, there's no goddamn way I'm hitting 100pmh. And 100mph? Based upon what? Where are your numbers coming from? I'd love to see them. You have a propensity to generally shit upon threads, and *spoiler*, you're doing the same here (are you just generally that pissed off IRL? Angst? Sexual frustration? Lack of career fulfillment? WHYYYYYY?????)

Anyway, thanks for trolling in. Please proceed to sh*t upon the nearest thread. It's consistent with your nature. You're well versed in the UA6 realm. Use it to help us all.

Fully strapped in.

 

I love this response:

ME: "Brazen impatience resulting in unnecessary speeding and a selfish disregard for the safety of others. It's been a long week. I'm sorry."

Absolutely classic...great story!

 

I have to concur with Deathmetal. When I was 21, I was busted for speeding by 6 cops on pedal bikes

I sped down this empty road where a bunch of hobos generally hang out, and came to a stop in a parking lot at the end of the road, at a friend's apartment. Little did I know, I hauled ass past a bunch of cops that were talking to the hobos. They casually rode into the parking lot, surrounded my car and I was busted.

Of course, being young and dumb, I argued with the cops and was kind of a dick to them. If you're going to do that, make sure you have all the correct paper work in your car. I didn't. It was all at home. I had the old registration and insurance, plus my license expired a couple weeks earlier. Long story short, my car was tower and I was slapped with about 500 dollars worth of fines.

Since then, the odd time I get stopped (close to once every 24-30 months I'd say), I'm always super polite and tell the cops what they want to hear. I've had my tickets either reduced right on the spot and in one instance even tossed. I mean, I know I'm busted. No need to argue and be a dick. Cops put up with enough assholes everyday. Give them a break and you might get lucky. If you're going to fight the ticket, just be polite and don't say anything.

 

If she was hot, he would have called her "ma'am", not sir.

 

Sounds about right at this stage of the game


Shoot, maybe I did't clarify -

I called the officer ma'am at first because I did not look at the officers face while approaching my car. I should have been a bit more specific - she was not one bit unpleasant on the eyes

 

Fixed.

For real. Not in like the "fixed it to say the opposite" way.

 

Bro....
take it to court.
Take pics/vids for us.

Be a bro.