Yeah, but is that what a crab has?

 

He ain't playing the game, he's changing it

 

but that's not hacking! that's playing! ain't nobody got time for dat!

I'm looking for instant gratification for doing absolutely nothing

 

For the worse.

 

You sure you ain't an American??

 

I wonder who is controlling you?
who the fuck is controlling me!??!?!??!?!??

 

My wife. My wife is controlling me.

 

 

That's fucked up J.. yeah, a douche is going to be a douche.
I scared a coral snake out of my brosef's bush.. (what's with all this innuendo, cock)
I made sure he took a safe path away from the houses.
Remember.. Red Touch Yellow, Kills a Fellow.. Red Touch Black, Friend of Jack



I judge men by how they treat others and creatures that are lesser than them..
I'm judging the shit out of you right now..

 

the other day a Gardner snake fooled me...I thought it was a coral.

red and yellow will kill a fellow

 

Are you implying I treat animals like shit?

Or just taco

 

You may not like it, but you just won my heart, good sir.

 

I'll admit, I am the biggest pu$$$$$$$$$$ay ever. I don't like killing anything at all. Well, except for mosquitoes.

But beyond that, there'll be a fly and I'm like "naw, who am I to be this fly's judge? It's just doing it's thang, even if it annoys me."

Pu$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Can't help it. If it's alive, let it live.

 

Reading between the lines:


Maj called me a man...

#mamaimadeit

 

One word...



















































Livestock!!!

 

Pfft. Who's gonna do it? YOU?

Gather round kids and let Mr. Cul0 the English Teacher learn you a little something about rhetorical questions:

 

I did this by accident

 

Hey, at least I don't have to compensate with a big wagon

 

Thanks for the lesson Mr Cul0!!!

Now can I pull my pants back up?

 

Is what your mom says when she sees you every day

 

Dude, why you gotta bag on J like that? Are you just snapping at whoever is nearby? Focus, bruh. Come at me! *I'm* the one you should be calling out... Not J with the big wagon.

 

your face is rhetoric

 

 

Yeah we all know cul0 has the Big SUV!!

 

Sooooooooooooooo, who's slapping me with their sausage???

 

That's a loaded question because you don't consider spiders and scorpions as animals
So good day.. let the door knob hit you repeatedly in the suck hole as you exit the premises

 

Mama I'm a deit??

That's not how you spell idiot

 

Well... he *is* an idiot.

So, like a double negative makes a positive?

 

#mamaimamysterymeat

Fixed?


Explaining the joke doesn't even make it funny anymore, never mind

 

an inside joke and I'm on the outside

come outside and I'll show you the inside

 

 

being a deit == idiot

 

:ghey:

 

Enjoy your long weekend ladies!

 

Have a great one ladiboi!

 

I blame that song for that snake's death!
I swear, I get this knot in my stomach when I see dead gators on the side of the road...turtles...like really, not ONE person could stop and toss it back in the canal (the turtle...scare the gator...).
I saved an iguana trying to walk on the highway once...went home and built him a cage (without a 90 degree angle...that was a gangster ass cage) and fed him lettuce and carrots for a few months...the dogs would go to the cage and he'd whip his tail...eventually he broke a piece of his tail off and that was the day I decided he needed to be back in the wild.
I literally cried the one time I hit a raccoon with my car...when I was jogging and stepped on a lizard running across the sidewalk...when I ran over a lizard with my mountain bike. LIKE FKKKKK...I hate killing stuff.

Even at home...Betty gets annoyed because I am like, stop killing the poor ants, they ain't hurtin anyone...even the daddy long legs that live everywhere around our doors and windows...but eventually it started getting out of hand and I had to start doing pesticide. Sucked to run into damn webs INSIDE your house walking through a hallway you just walked through. Roaches...I think most can agree they aren't allowed in the house.



I literally laughed out loud at this for some reason.

 

I'm the same way ese..

 

I tell the wife, the ants are just cleaning up after us..
Yeah it doesn't go over well here either..

 

I'm the same way. Wifey always wants me to kill spiders on the outside of the house, and I'm like "why? They're just doing their thang. They ain't bothering anyone"

shes terrified of them and won't even attempt to kill them. Thank god.

Secretly, I like taking photos of spiders. They creep the shit out of me