I have my wife handle the gifts.

 

Perfect Mother-in-law gift!

 

 

In my experience.. with the ladies..
They appreciate memories more than material things.. unless they're materialistic.

Take your wife / mom somewhere she wouldn't ordinarily go, or has been asking to go. Or do something she has been requesting, but your lazy ass hasn't put it at the top of the list. Because you're an asshole.

 

I had my son make my wife a hand print plate.


<--------- Cheap ass, it's the thought that counts.

 

I bought her ass a new car and new house......

/mothers day xmas and birthday.

 

 

Giver a penis print as well.. hand her the plate first.. then hand her teh cock print. :wink:

 

Overheard at work today a couple cubes down:

"Damn it they gave me the wrong salad."

Me: "Didn't you ask them to toss it?"

 

sob

 

car has misfire coil pack o2 sensor shut off egr valve rpm needle at stop sign wat do thoiboi??

 

I would have walked over and offered to toss their salad.
I love awkward Tuesdays.

 

I made a tossed salad reference a month or two ago in a meeting.. no one caught on.

 

i used to manage a sandwich shop.

loved working the salad bar. "GET YOUR FRESH TOSSED SALADS!"

"my favorite NUMBER 69! your order is ready! Number 69! "

 

i remember working at blockbuster and some one asking if we sold blow.


errr, meet me in the back.....

Oh, the movie blow!

 

 

U b 6 I b 9
Who ordered the footlong italian, extra mayo?

 

 

I've been on lunch for 5 hours.

 

 

why yes, my co-worker and I docked.

 

 

what would you do if you heard some on grunting in the bathroom??

 

grunt back

 

Continue shitting.

 

blinker fluid, drain and refill though, don't flush it'll ruin the filaments in the bulbs. Also make sure you use DOT4 blinker fluid to help the longevity of the entire blinker system.

 

my seat wont move back and fourth....what do i do?

 

Premium 93 octane synthetic blinker fluid for that one.

 

Whenever I fix my moms car I'm tempted to pull that shit on her... but I'm too nice.

A while ago when I fixed the microwave I told her it was the flux capacitor inverter, the thing that turns the cold to hot. I forgot about it until she told my dad and he chuckled, she came back and confronted me and I had to tell her it was just the fuse.

 

 

You want a smaller penis you say?

 

Don't look through the tiny glory hole..



Look above..




Attachment 103477





Whatever you do.. don't flush

 

yeaerrme?!

 

ya heard me? or naw!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9UZBg1pMS4#t=99

 

what makes them funny is their accent.
stop playing with that lisp, whoadi

 

whoadette.

 

didn't think this would be so funny. yeaaarrrrrrme

 

Maj, RS, Justn, anyone else-

Stupid question- I'm trying to remove my lower control arm up front. I have all the bolts out and I took the castle nut off the lower ball joint, but the arm won't come off the ball joint- I'm assuming it's pressed into the arm? How the hell do I remove the lower arm now?

I can swing the whole thing around (pivoting on the lower ball joint), but I'm not sure how to remove it. Can anyone help?

 

 

Hmmm... Well that answers that. How do you get it back in?